Summary: Bella, a psychiatrist on her way home she has to convince a stranger not to commit suicide, what are their dark pasts? A story of love and sanity. OOC, in memory of DLC canon couples
A/N: I joined FanFiction using another account but I don't want to use it anymore for personal reasons. This story is in dedication to Daddy's Little Cannibal who pretty much inspired me to carry on writing, her talent was so raw and brilliant, plus from the little contact I have with her she was also very kind, honest and loyal. She will be remembered as one of the best authors on fanfiction, rightfully so as well. This was very difficult for me to write, and therefore took me a very long time, I had to invest a lot of care into this and I still am not truly happy with any part of it, however I'm not just going to have it sit on my account until the end of time so, read and review if you want, I'm not really bothered.
Disclaimer: I am quite obviously not Stephanie Meyer.
Songs for Chapter: 'Free Fallin' John Mayer, 'Wine Red' The Hush Sound, 'Delicate' Damien Rice
Oh I need a beta very badly, as you will probably tell with my crappy grammar and dreadful spelling, PM me please =]
Ch. 1
Don't jump Tinker!
Sighing I collected the folders that were strewn across the floor, three hours. Three flipping hours it can taken me to sort those folders out, three seconds and they are on the floor. Stupid. Ugh stupid clumsy Bella. It was going to take me another three hours to re-sort the files, plus I had a patient to attend to in fifteen minutes.
This was turning out to be a very bad day, I cannot express how much I despise my job right now. Taking a deep breath to clear the senses I rolled my shoulder back whilst chanting, "Breath, one, two, four. One, two, four." Oh god, you know something is wrong with you when you use your own psychiatrist techniques on yourself, which traditionally are used to help the other crazy people to calm down.
Rolling my eyes at my inner chatter I sunk downwards to pick up the files, which were now colorfully scattered over the surface of the ground. CD's out of their cases, recorded tapes scatted and hundreds of pages of my notes were dotted around the room. This was going to be a nightmare to sort out, of course I couldn't ask my assistant Jessica to help me, she complains about everything… I really need to get around to firing her.
Grabbing the files closest to me I almost died when I saw they were wet. "No!! SHIT." I stumbled around the room trying to grab as many of the papers as I could before I lost some of them to the moisture. I almost turned a ghastly white when I recalled the last time I had been stuck listening to the tapes in my room and recopying previously written notes.
This was not the first time I had, had an encounter with water and my files. Grumbling I retrieved the last from off the floor and placed it carefully on top of the large pile which had accumulated in my arms. Overloaded with paper work I marched back to my office furious. Talk about not my day.
Unable to deal with any more paperwork for today I simply threw the files on my already over flowing desk not even bothering to look as I heard a huge crash, obviously suggesting that my aim had been slightly of.
My head dropped into my outstretched hands and rigorously I rubbed my eyes. Removing sleep that I had not caught this morning, oh brilliant. I went to work looking like incapable psychiatrist. The people I give advice to are actually better of than me.
Angered at my lack of professionalism, I grabbed the briefcase that was next to my glossy desk, which was half hidden by patient's files and stormed out of the room. Of course my exit was far to ostentatious and I tripped sending myself flying into the face of my office door, smashing my nose in the progress. I cursed loudly feeling furious with myself.
"I'm such a fucking klutz!" Again I was furious once I noticed that my briefcase was open, revealing a new set of files cascaded across the floor resulting in the feeling that my head was about to explode. I could quite literally scream, was God out to get me or something?
With smoke threatening to come out of my ears I stormed around, absolutely furious and shoved the papers back into my briefcase. Bad day? Pshh I was so far past that, this day was slowly evolving into a level five-shit day.
Grumbling again at my lack of equal librium I remembered that I was supposed to have a patient in about four minutes. Again- fabulous, it took me at least ten minutes to get somebody's notes together and then a further fifteen to familiarize myself with the case.
That meant in total I was twenty-one minutes behind schedule. Fabulous. And this was one of my most prestigious patients; you know the Hollywood starlet type, taking a break from her modeling career to focus on her commitment issues. Well that's what I used to think, I know, I know I shouldn't stereotype patients it's a habit.
As much as right now I would love to go home she was my best friend and I wasn't going to reschedule her, the progress she was making was astounding. Huffing I tucked all my annoyed feelings back inside me and swallowed my anger back in, I would go to the gym later and run off some steam, all this bottling of emotions was not healthy.
I returned to my desk and just brushed all the files off the desk in a quick motion. I would deal with all that later. I already had a huge mess on the floor which needed taking care of I might as well add all this crap to the never ending to-do-list and then make a spring cleaning session out of it.
Tomorrow I would reschedule all my appointments and get this mess in order, I would also fire Jessica and get a new assistant, maybe if I double the pay I will get somebody competent this time. Shaking my wrists out I tried to get my usual timid, calm persona back. It was unusual for me to be so stressed; I am typically very serene and collected. As well as being very organized and actually I have a slight case of OCD.
My office was shockingly disorganized and generally quite messy, my temporary replacement had been awful and literally left the place in chaos. My files were organized completely wrong, everything not in it's place- that alone was enough to drive me crazy. But the fact that my color coding stickers were skewed and in general the place made me want to gauge my own eyes out.
I seems quite shocking to me that whilst I am one of the most successful therapists in the greater Seattle area I have so many problems of my own that it is actually ridiculous. I glanced back at the clock, which hung on the top of the door. Right as I did so she sauntered in, hips swinging and blond hair flowing down past her breasts.
She met met my glance mid way and gave me an ear-splitting grin before rushing over to share a hug. "Rosie I missed you so much! Oh my gosh, I have so much to tell you about my holiday, but later for all that lets get this started take a seat my lovely." Nodding she shrunk gracefully into the sofa by my desk. Just as she was about to lunge into a story as per usual her eyes bugged out of her head, "What the fuck happened to your office?"
Grinning at her language I shrugged, "You do have a way with words Rose, you know that temp I had to replace me for when I went on holiday?" She nodded, "Yeah," she nodded absently whilst wringing her fingers signifying that she was clearly trying to remember her name, "Sure, Sylvie… Sarah… Samantha?"
Giggling I rolled my eyes, "Her name was Leah! You donut, how on Earth did you get Sylvie, Sarah and Samantha from Leah?" She shrugged and I giggled, shaking my head I reached across the desk to get Rosalie's file out of the overloading mess.
"So how's everything been then?" Her eyes glazed slightly and I was shocked. Surely Rose hadn't met someone... right? "Oh God Bella, his name's Emmett and he's perfect. And I mean PERFECT. Body. Job. Hell even the hair!"
Biting my lip I tried to decide how to respond, snapping her folder shut I looked her dead on, "Rose, do you want 'Dr Swan's' point of view or plain old Bella's?"
Her eyes narrowed slightly, "Whichever is nicer." HA such a Rosalie reply, "Well then I- Bella that is, thinks it's fantastic- now however I kinda have to return to being Dr Swan and need to tell you my, 'professional opinion'." She snickered lightly at my indentation of 'professional opinion' and I smirked, "Rosalie how exactly do you feel about Emmett? Is this a very uncharacteristic fling, or do you see yourself with him for a while, do you see him being in your life five year from now? Ten perhaps." Some of those questions did not apply to Rosalie's case at all however I was actually morbidly curious.
"Bella, it's him. I know it is. It just has to be. You know me, I laugh in people's faces when they talk about true love, hell I used to think that my own parent's marriage was a hoax just so that they didn't have to get me double gifts come Christmas and birthdays because of a divorce. I had absolutely no faith in love at all, I'm still a bit conceited about the whole subject, but I have a lot more acceptance of the whole issue. Seriously, he has kept me totally grounded, I don't feel the need to tell him to give me space, he isn't intoxicating, he's perfect. I feel like one of those girls who has finally got it right, and fuck Bella I love it!"
Holy. Shit. Rosalie Hale. In love? "Rose.. is... is that was this is? Love?" Her eyes snapped shut, before opening about, round as saucers completely glued onto the uninteresting plain carpet, "Did I seriously just say that shit out loud? Because yeah... I think it is."
Holy crapola. Interesting development. Well then. Wait a minute... "Wait ROSE! Emmett? As in McCarty? As in McCarty... McCarty." Again I noticed her eyes stayed completely trained on the floor whilst she made a tiny nod, as if she were afraid that I was going to chop her head off. "Rose! Why? Emmett McCarty, seriously!"
Her arms snapped up quickly and she put them out defensively, "I thought the same but I promise he is absolutely nothing like that! Hell he hasn't pestered me once about sex, nothing, zip, zilch, nadda! It's kind of weird, I actually feel a bit unwanted."
Emmett McCarty? Really, who knew the Seahawks star could be so... monogamous. Hmm well, this could be interesting, was Rose ready for something like this? After everything, how could she trust him. I know she wants to put everything behind her, but in my professional opinion I'm not sure if she really can.
This is so delicate I'm not sure how to respond, as a doctor I'm scared that my patient is going into something that is pretty much destined to fail, but as a friend? Hell as a friend I'm excited that she is finally healing enough to even let somebody in.
"Rose this is an... interesting development, I can't find it within myself to figure out a response. However I completely trust your judgment and I am not here to make decisions for you, this is you life. It's your chose to be here, if you think that Emmett is trustworthy then I am going to back your decision a hundred percent, however you have to know that this may not end well. So in the interest of keeping your heart intact, please be careful. Please Rose, I don't want to open my apartment at 4am and discover you distraught and in need of some serious ice cream therapy. He might not end up being who you think he is, and if he in any way fucks you around, let him know, off the record, I'll cut his balls off."
I took a breath before carrying on with this serious case of verbal diarrhea. "Anyway, when did you meet him? I was only off for vacation for a month! How could all this have happened?" Rose couldn't have met a guy and fallen in love all in a month could she?
"Oh gosh Bella no! I didn;t just meet him a week ago and now I'm on love or anything, I've known him for years, our families are friends- I used to seem him at family parties and my parents work functions. We only got together when Lauren broke his heart in front of everyone at a photo shoot. Eurghh I really hate her! She broke up with him, in front of everyone! Could you get anymore heartless, of course that was my excuse to tell her that she was a complete bitch, so after we had our little screaming match- you know the usual, I called her a trampy whore she called me a frigid bitch and we all went our separate ways. Emmett left and I went back to my shoot as usual, nothing happened then.
To be honest, I thought that was the end of it, I was going to ignore the fluttering heart and junior high sweaty palms. But then my parents emailed me telling me about a work function that I apparently just had to attend. Well you know my parents, the only time I actually speak to them is at these pointless work functions and through the very personal emails. So I dressed up a little more than usual because I was depressed about the fact that I couldn't rant it all to you and he was there! I don't know why I was so shocked he goes to all the family parties but still, I was." Her eyes fluttered closed as I imagined she was replaying the whole night in her mind.
Rolling my eyes I grinned at her, "Umm Rose? Are you going to sit there imagining about Emmett for the whole session or am I going to hear more about him?" Hey eyes snapped open again and she shuffled coyly in the little love seat.
"Right so anyway, he was still really upset about Lauren, so I comforted him, glossed over the fact that I had never even heard about him and that she brought different men to set all the time when he mentioned her saying how boyfriends weren't allowed on shoot. Basically I comforted a blubbering man who was completely distraught about breaking up with that slut. He told me how he seriously thought she loved him, I have never wanted to kill Lauren Mallory more than right then. Even after Tanya the slutbag's best friend broke Jasper's heart, and she got all in my face saying it wasn't my business. It scared me so much, the fact that she had hurt Emmett's feelings made me angrier than when she had hurt Jasper's. And I'm fucking close to my brother. So I pulled a classic Rosalie and avoided him like the plague, that lasted two days. It's amazing then when I am trying to avoid someone I literally ended up seeing him everywhere! The Coffee house, the subway, just walking in the street!" She ruffled her hair in obvious stress, just by simply recalling the frustration it had caused her.
"He tried to talk to me every time, you know the little waves, he would be about to walk over and I would just slip away. Into a store, the girl's bathroom wherever I could just escape. I don't know why I didn't just go up to him, I just didn't want to tarnish the perfect little bubble my mind had cocooned about what a man should be like. About what he was like. He was everything in my mind, totally sensitive but very manly at the same time, athletic, fucking gorgeous... Just everything Bella. And man I'll admit I was shit fucking scared. But anyone would be right?"
"Rose." I stuttered trying to break her trans like reenactment of what happened. She carried on ignoring my interruption, "In mean in my situation, some people have baggage? I have the whole fucking airport on my shoulders!" I could see she was about to breakdown and I wasn't going to let this happen to her again. "ROSE!" I interrupted once more, before she upset herself to a point that I'm not sure even she could come back from.
She snapped her eyes up to meet mine, they were glazed with a thick sheen on unreleased tears. "Bella. I was scared, so scared and you weren't here." Oh shit. Oh shit fucking bollocks. Not again.
"Rose I'm sorry" I rushed over to her side I enveloped her shaking form in my arms, we were both just complete messes for totally different reasons. Hers a lot more graphic detailed and horrific. Mine was just an excuse, but she never got upset with me when I spoke about my worries. Rose was just like that, despite the tragedies she had witnessed- and been subjected to she never, ever made my problems out to be at all minute.
I don't know where her strength had come from, but right now? Here I held Rosalie. Broken, discarded and completely at misery at her past. I also held Rosalie, a complete beacon of hope and now... love. I could see it, despite what Emmett would do with her she would always know what pure, unadulterated love felt like. After all, it's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all... right?
"Be-lla, I.. I just.." I stroked her hair lovingly, "I know Rosie, I know. I am so sorry." She quickly wiped her eyes and sat up, still in my arms, "Bella, I can't always expect you to be here for me, dammit your just such a good friend! My first session with you was terrible, I was so rude and mean.. I was just a bitch. You taught me not to judge a book by it's cover, as cliche as that sounds, you taught me to be a better person. I love you so fucking much I don't even see you as my psychiatrist your my best friend. I never thought I would ever be able to trust anybody ever again, you know how it is, I'm sure you've had patient after patient who have had fucked up situations happen and they are never the same. I never though I could be close to a person again, best friend, boyfriend anything! I was totally adamant that I would spend eternity alone."
She rubbed her forehead, traveling down her temple and off her chin until her hand clasped together in a strong coupled fist.
"Bella I let you in, but I never saw that as amazing. Or incredible. Or even a development, I just saw it as a normal thing, I didn't even second guess it, that's what makes it so extraordinary. It was totally normal to me that I could let you in when I had always thought that I would be alone. Then with Emmett it hit me like a ton of bricks. You and him. I wanted to let him in, but that's not what scared me, I was scared that I could admit it all, because that meant that I was getting better. That meant that I couldn't hide behind my work, or what I thought were my feelings. It meant I had to step up and begin living my life. Bella that scares the shit out of me. I hid behind everything for so long, only coming out when I was with you, and now I want to do it all over again. What if it's all a mistake, what if he were to leave me? I don't think even you could help me come back from that."
I nodded and gave her a huge hug, "My previous comment still stands Rosalie, if he in any way fucks you around, let him know I'll cut his balls off. And of course I get your worries that's all natural, for anybody! Not just you, before a girl completely lets a guy in they have to think about all that. It's a tough world out there and we are little tourists embarking on an adventure. Were in just foreign fools in 'male' lands my dear." With a grin she whacked my shoulder.
"Your so fucking sarcastic Bella!" Rolling my eyes I hit her back and released her from the hug, "Oh shut up Rose, you know you love it! So how about it? Movie night down at My Casa?"
She bit her bottom lip and started wringing her hands in an uncomfortable way, "Umm I kind of have a date.." Oh right. Duhh! She has to be seeing him if she is kind of with him now. "But! Tomorrow? I'll be at yours for 6? And I'll bring Ben and Jerry's and popcorn kernels, all you need to bring is your beautiful self and supply the microwave." Pshh me beautiful? As if Rose. But this sounds like a pretty amazing deal.
Grinning I stood up and offered her my hand, "Definitely, but before you have to give me the run down of your date if I don't speak to your after your date that is. I will be very curious! Oh and when am I going to meet him? He does after all have to gain the best friend stamp of approval." Matching my grin she leaned in and gave me a hug, "Bella your the best! And soon, maybe a week or two. We'll see how it all goes, I have to rush home and get ready but I will call you later."
With that very Rosalie goodbye she waltzed out of my office and grinned through the glass at me. Giggling I went back to my desk only to have my movements halted by the mess on my floor. Unable to restrain myself I let out a loud groan. I'm so OCD that I will not be able to sleep tonight knowing this mess is waiting for me at work. Glancing at the clock I relished at the fact it was only 5:29pm. I could be out of here in mere hours maybe be home by ten?
Perfect, I'll get home, read a book cup of tea maybe? Sorted, see you don't need a man to make you happy, right? I know what I would say to somebody else in my very familiar situation, 'Your twenty six years old, you have a successful career, stable job but do you really want to be fifty, in the same position and look back thinking, where did all my time go?' No the answer is I don't.
I'm have the same stupid problem many career women are facing, it's like a deathtrap, once you make the decision to be a career women you can't ever go back, you begin to let work make all the decisions and pretty soon, that's all the have left. It's a ridiculous concept but I have met women who are in their sixties and have now decided they want to have a husband and kids. They were the ones who disagreed with marriage and never believed in love, now? They are the ones who are hitting themselves because when they look back on their life, they can't replay fabulous romances and their wedding day, the only thing they can reminisce about is their work.
The women that I meet who are like this always remind me that your only young once, they beg me not to waste my time like they did, I guess that's the sick part of this world. You only live once that's one shot to make it, there are no do-overs, I have to get this right.
Collapsing onto the floor I began organizing the huge mess that had accumulated on my floor, huffing I switched positions and crawled over to my bag and began ruffling through the contents of the perfectly presented bag to find my ipod. Flicking the hold button off I shuffled my music and started drumming my head like a teenager to John Mayer's rifts. Unaware of time I crawled back over to the stack of papers and started filing through, slowly regaining my sanity as the files were sorted through.
Within in minutes I had a pattern going, to the left were patient files, to the right all the recording tapes, and then finally behind were individual cases and so on. My thoughts took an unexpected turn as I wondered how Rose's date was going, I really did want this to go well for her, but I couldn't help but be hesitant about the idea, how was I supposed to take this all? I knew there was a danger of becoming such close friends to a patient, well the truth was is that we were friends first so I guess that doesn't even count.
Ugh, life was always so complicated, Rosalie especially, people always assumed that she had the perfect life, you know the Hollywood Starlet. Absolutely gorgeous- surely that equals perfection, right? Wrong, there was nothing about Rosalie's life that has been perfect, in fact the only part of her life which I believe that keep her sane is the modeling she does, with her background people normally shy away from any physical contact but Rose refused to cocoon and become a shell of her prior self. The fact that people make remarks about her being brainless makes me want to wring their throats but that's pointless.
People think want they think, say what they want to say, but never think about what they are saying. They assume that her life is just one big blessing when in fact it's her own personal hell, they made it that for her. So she does what she loves, and she does it alone. At least until now. I swear to God, if he fucks her over I really will castrate him. I don't care if he is a fucking hockey player or whatever the 'Seahawks' are. He can play without his balls right?
Giggling at my own ridiculousness I carried on with the mundane task whilst listening the every song played by John Mayer at his 'Live in Los Angeles' tour in 2008. Ah that was an amazing concert, I remember it all too well, he was incredible, I ended up going by myself because Rosalie refused to go to my 'emo' shit concert and Jessica, my friend from college just said, "Eww wasn't he the loser who is with Jennifer Aniston?" I didn't hang out with her much after that. I mean seriously, insulting John Mayer! And basing her musical talent one which girl he was currently dating?
Jessica and I didn't really have that much in common, besides I met Mandy at that gig and were great friends now anyway, its a shame she lives in that tiny Forks about two hours from the center of Seattle where I lived. Owell we still meet up at least once a month. I actually owe her an email, and a coffee now thinking about it.
Finally after about 3 hours of vigorous repetitive work the files were in order and my office was almost back to its normal OCD level. Very carefully, I stood up with the first pile in my arms and walked very slowly towards my filing cabinet, thrilled with my achievement I did a small happy dance and began stuffing the files in the correct places, a grin from ear to ear the whole time.
I rushed back over to retrieve the next pile of folders taking extra care as I walked back, stumbling once at my eagerness, again I filed the papers away with now trouble and was truly proud of my small achievement, graduating from Yale had nothing on this. I had actually managed to walk from one point in my office to the next without sending myself flying, somebody call the news, this needs to be on prime time.
Laughing aloud at my ridiculousness I clamored back to retrieve the last pile so I could finally head home, I half expected myself to trip now and send this stack flying again but my balance must have decided to improve significantly because I managed to get all the way to the desk, put ever file back in it's correct place completely unscathed.
Slightly chuffed with myself, I was unusually smug as I reached over my desk to grab my office Marc B bag that Rosalie had bought for me. Originally she had tried to get me the 'quilted Chanel' which is apparently in the words of Rosalie, "Absolutely fucking stunning" but I had refused when I saw the price was my paycheck in a few days, it didn't matter to me how much Rosalie earned I was not letting her spend a ridiculous amount of money on me like that, so she settled for an equally stunning one shoulder purple quilted bag from a similar designer.
It was a pretty smart purchase since I use it frequently and am still in absolute adoration of it. I am not what most would call and avid shopper, in fact in most cases, unless I am shopping for socks or some worthwhile which I will end up using for a long time, such as underwear I'm really not that bothered. I don't personally understand those who go shopping for fun, how can walking around endlessly looking for things you don't need be fun in anyway? Then there is the whole changing room aspect which you shouldn't even get me started on yet, plus there are the few who simply don't properly wash which mean the changing room actually reeks!
I just don't get how that is even remotely fun, but whatever, Rosalie has tried my concerts, I'll try her fashion obsession and shopping. The amount of times I have been dragged to some up-and-coming designers show is roughly the same amount of times Rose has tried to set me up on dates- far to many. I do love her though.
Giggling at some of the memories of my past set-ups to date lightened my slightly perturbed mood. I left the office with a smile on my face, ready to sink my teeth into a task, I actually felt like going to the gym, I wonder if my membership was still active, I think so.. I hadn't been since I broke up with Jacob, that's when I went on my crazy gym high until one day I was the total opposite and just drowned myself in work. I obviously realized after how ridiculous I was being and relied on my training to diagnose myself coming to the conclusion that I needed to find balance in my life.
That's where writing came in, it had always been an interest of mine, you know the classic girl, always loved to read romances but never believed herself to be good enough. Well apparently I was, I finished my draft for 'Twilight', a book which really wasn't about much in the beginning, a really classic love story.
Girl meets boy, they fall in love, except he wasn't just a boy, he was a vampire. Apparently it was the 'dark twist' which my new editor loved. Whatever I just really wanted to be published.
That sounds really selfish but it's true, Twilight was such an investment of my time and now? I'm just desperate to see my work in print. So I relished over the fact that all I had to do know was finish the last three chapters and I was done, I would be published within the year. It's an amazing feeling, it doesn't even matter if no-one reads it, I guess if one person reads the whole book then I will officially see the novel as a success, I truly won't care about figures and numbers.
What's the point in driving myself crazy over it's success, sure it was my baby but I wrote it for me and it's going to stay that way. Strutting out of my office, I felt totally on top of the world for once in my life I was ready for whatever was going to be thrown at me, bring it on.
Swinging my bag behind me I skipped the elevator and ran to the stairs which was a fire exit and instead opted to run down them like a child with a spring in my step. I skidded to a halt at the bottom and pushed the fire escape door open which faced the car park, and then resumed the skipping towards my Chevy.
My car was the apple to my eye. A total piece of shit with some real character. I loved her and Rosalie had restored her too so I wasn't in danger of breaking down in the middle of the street or anything, that was a relief too because I am about as educated as a rabbit when it came to cars.
Throwing the door open I relished at the smell of my beauty, slightly musky, it smelt like a real car, the similar smell of a real man. In other words I loved it, plus there was that hint of strawberries and freesia which was my shampoo from Herbal Essences. All in all, it was a great piece of rust! No truly I did love it and it was the first thing I bought after I moved out, I was not getting rid of her unless she got squished into an unrecognizable square of metal.
I rubbed the seat affectionately and truly felt like a freak. Smiling at myself I climbed into the drivers and pulled out of my work spot, reversing into the main street to drive home. I was going to pick up my gym gear and head to the 24 hour gym for a serious work out session, maybe an hour or two on the treadmill. I truly had missed the gym, it was my haven for a really long time and I really hadn't been in too long. I was like I had abandoned an old friend or something.
The sound of my car grumbling across the freeway was my favorite sound but at the midst of darkness it was kind of creepy so I fished through my bag and pulled out my trusty ipod and slotted it into the built in speaker before resuming the shuffle I had placed it on earlier. The Hush Sound's Momentum came on and immediately I was pulled into the slow building tune, I was really getting into this band, I didn't like all their music but there were a few tunes where I found myself getting lost in the music.
It wasn't like Damien Rice or anything where it truly doesn't matter what he's singing once your hear his voice you're in love. The Hush Sound is an acquired taste and just like olives it had taken me a while to like them. But nevertheless after hearing them 20 times I finally began to appreciate that their music really is worth listening to.
To say I am picky when it comes to my music taste is an insult to picky people.
My fingers drummed to the chorus and I continued to drive safely down the busy roads of Seattle, it didn't matter how many times people honked their horns and tried to over take me, being brought up by the Police Chief in Phoenix meant I was strictly taught to follow the road laws. A point on my license in high school meant no driving and it wasn't like my Dad couldn't check either, he knew everything, I couldn't just pay for it and pray it would go away, there would be hell to pay. Sure now I'm an adult but I can still respect my fathers wishes.
And besides think of all the money I've saved by not speeding, I have 0 points on my license, I personally believe it to be quite an achievement, Rosalie just makes fun of me but I know she is secretly impressed. I mean thinking about it, it is pretty incredible, I have been driving for about six years, that's a long time and I have a totally clean record. I'm like one of those kids who are all smug about their perfect attendance records or something! How sad.
Ah well we all have something strange about us, I am OCD and a law abiding freak. At least my obsessions are normal, if that's even possible, obsessions can't be normal that's the whole point. Stupid Bella. Driving at my casual slow pace turned the corner and was met by my apartment building, leaving the keys in the ignition I hopped out with my bag.
No-one would steal the car anyway, it was literally worth nothing, not even for parts, Rosalie was curious and researched into it, apparently, some car dealerships said that I would have to pay them to even consider taking the parts. I personally find that ridiculous, my car is amazing and I'll flip off anyone of who says otherwise.
Launching myself up the first few steps that lead to the front door I greeted Mike the doorman and nicely as I could manage, "Evening Bella! I'm just about to go on my break do you want to-"
Before he could even finish his sentence I flew through the doors and marched towards the stairs. Rushing towards the opening I hurried through the primp lobby of my apartment building to get away from Mike. Every night! I swear, every night he asks me if I am up for 'doing something a little later' and every night I saw no. You'd think he would've gotten the message really, but he was about as intellectually advanced as my favorite coffee mug.
Mulling over my thoughts of Mike and his persistence I raced up the steps which led to the fire escape on the 7th floor which was opposite my apartment. Like myself the apartment was slightly secluded, away from the others, I rarely ever got visitors apart from Rosalie. It was exactly how I needed it to be and in truth I loved the apartment unconditionally, just like my hunk of junk truck.
Stumbling over the little step as I do every time I am greeted with it after work I unlocked the front door in begrudgment. Every time I trip over that step! I have lived in this apartment for two years now! You'd think that maybe, just maybe I would be able to function without falling over myself after that long extensive time period.
Racing through the front door I ran to the little cupboard near the front door, reserved for coats and umbrellas which I don't think has been opened in more than six months. I collected my gym gear out once all the dust which flew out had dissipated and scorned myself for not doing a more throughout job cleaning it. Well I suppose six months ago it had been spotless, I just hadn't opened it in a while.
Grinning at my illogical reasoning I skipped out of my apartment without a second glance, the gym bag swinging gleefully at my side. Again I tripped over the little ledge and again, scorned myself and my evidently crappy memory. Laughing at my clumsiness, I raced back towards the fire escape and swung the door open with the perfect amount of force and threw myself down the stairs in angst. I was hit with the smell of drying urine and immediately clasped my fingers over my nose.
What the hell! I payed shit loads for rent, part of the deal is that I don't leave my house being attacked by the stench of people's piss. Shaking my head I almost vomited when I realized it had to be very fresh since I had been in this corridor not two minutes ago.
Completely disgusted by human kind I raced even faster down the stairs and rushed through the lobby fire escape in hope to inhale some deeply refreshing, clean air.
Relishing at the fresh air I walked briskly towards where Mike was with a very evil thought in mind. He was standing with his leg bent, resting against the wall in what I assumed was his impression of a very band boy band stance. Giggling slightly his gaze snapped forward and his grin was ear splitting. Ugh... let me introduce you to a toothbrush, those yellow shiners could use them.
"Um Mike? I'm afraid I need to ask you a favor." His grin widened at my innocent tone.
"You want me to finish my shift early and join you for coffee? Of course Bella I'd love to!" I visibly cringed at the way his voice droned on at the word love. And had to physically stop myself from laughing in his face, was I making myself seem interested or was he really that clueless. Of course now I felt like an utter bitch..
"Um no. Sorry Mike, I really can't but I was bringing your attention to the disgusting urine smell coming from the stairs. It must be fresh because when I went up it wasn't there." I was shocked when he went bright red. I mean brighter than my own unbeatable blush.
"Umm yeah, sorry about that.. I u-gh.. I didn't.. I couldn't umm.. I didn't exactly make.. it." He finished lamely and the connotations of his statement sunk in. Oh my god. Ew.
"Oh." What the hell was I supposed to say! That's okay Mikey, it happens to us all? Talk about a flat out lie! His blush remained stained on his face and unsure of what to do I just took the coward's way out and shuffled past him with my own blush on my face.
Jesus now that's embarrassing. Forgetting Mike and his... issues I ran towards my truck which was still perched waiting with the keys in the ignition. See. No-one sees a beautiful car when it's hitting them in the face. Shaking my head I swung the door open and clamored in swinging my gym bag into the back.
I quickly reversed out trying to produce as much distance from myself and Mike as possible and sped toward the gym which I had neglected to visit in far too long. I exhaled slowly and cracked my neck trying to relieve some of the stress from today.
Switching my ipod on, which was still perched in its speaker I drummed my fingers as Something Corporate's 'Punk Rock Princess' began to play and fill the confinements of my truck. Mmm good song. Great song actually, a little punk pop never hurt anyone right.
Drumming my fingers I got lost in the music and the journey was short lived as I halted at the gym opening. Grinning at the familiar feel of total determination and the mixed smells. Eager to get started I raced forward and snapped one of the last parking spots, quickly relieving the exhaust and through myself out of the drivers seat, collecting my gym bag in chorus.
Locking my truck manually I slipped the key back in my pocket and ran to the entrance of the gym. Damn I needed to get a life. The doors opened slowly, too slowly for my liking and I skidded through towards the front desk.
"Bella!!" Grinning I recognized Bradley, the gay front desk adviser, "Damn it's been far too long girlfriend! Oh and have I got some juicy gossip for you my dear!" His brown afro bouncing as she jumped up and down in anticipation of telling me the 'juicy gossip'. I giggled, 'Okay shoot, but be quick because I am in serious need of a burning workout."
He nodded, "Omg, so you remember Milo, that really attractive pool boy? Well it turns out that he was having a little thing with Samantha the massage girl, BUT THEN! He got Cherie, the lifeguard preggers! But it's also been discovered that he had a fling with Mary." My jaw dropped, wait Mary as in...
"Yes, No lie, Mary the fricken owner! Well! It came out last month that not only did he do all that, but now.. HE'S GAY! Touch my heart I almost died. Do you remember how good looking he was! Oh my lorrrrd!" Giggling his hand landed in a fist over his heart and I had to steady myself against the ledge of the reception desk.
"Bradley you are too much! We have to go out for lunch later, call me tomorrow and we will set it up, I want to hear this story properly!" Laughing widely he nodded and through a towel in my direction.
"Duhh! I will ring you bright and early tomorrow my darling. Now off you pop, get those muscles working." Giggling I made my way through the doors which lead through to the female changing room and opened my gym bag taking out my sports bra and leggings. I hoped I didn't look too fat in this..
Slipping on the scanty outfit I gasped at my reflection.. talk about revealing. Owell. Grabbing my trusty quarter out of my front pocket and grabbed a locker. Slipping my work clothes and gym bag in I locking the contents securely inside but not before retrieving my ipod out of my jacket pocket and water bottle fro my handbag. I jogged towards the door which led to the room of treadmills and slipped inside.
The atmosphere was intense. You know that feeling you get when you walk past a marathon or something. Sheer and utter determination, the part of going to the gym that I loved most.
Walking over I picked one nearest to the window and began on their expert level, putting on my gym playlist I began sprinting forgetting about everything as I ran.
----
An hour later I was aching all over. I literally could not feel my legs and the stitch in my stomach was seriously painful. Guzzling water, I gulped noisily and flung myself back towards the changing room, completely tired. Clearly these months away from the gym has resulted in my stamina going to the shits.
I stumbled forward through the changing room towards my locker, still gulping the water, relishing as the cool water trickled down my raw throat. I took the key out of my legging pocket and unlocked the door. Grabbed the contents and quickly begun changing, before I had been way to eager to get to the gym.. now? I just wanted my bed!
Pulling my skirt up I fastened the clasp and slid my flats back on pushing my gym clothing back in the bag. Flattening my hair down, I tried to tame the long mess to no avail. It would just stand bushy until I could fix it I guess.
Grumbling over my messy haystack I reached for the gym bag and sung the ton of bricks over my shoulder walking, very slowly in pain out of the changing rooms into the lobby.
Bradley was not at the desk when I got there so I didn't get to say bye like I wanted too, I left in a hurry, pretty much needing to leave and get as far away from the evil treadmill as possible. Scurrying towards my truck I opened the door and pushed the key into the ignition and climbed into the drivers seat in a rush.
Eager to get going I stuck my foot on the pedal and sped off far to quickly for my liking and began speeding at a fast 30mph... pretty much all the truck could manage. Racing off I sighed loudly as I reached the Seattle bridge which was completely deserted. That's really strange, it's usually packed, glancing at the clock I almost swerved. 11:47pm! Ughh and at the office by 7 am tomorrow..
Driving slowly I thought about Rosalie and her date and how I hoped it can gone well, this Emmett better be treating her right, I would kill him if he wasn't. Rubbing my eyes I closed them briefly and opened then a few seconds later, yawning widely at the same time. I almost swerved again when I saw a women, no older than I was standing at the edge of the bridge perfectly poised, about to jump. Braking harshly my therapist instincts took over. I rushed out of the car but descended calming over to her, not trying to shock her into jumping.
Her hair was blowing frantically in the wind, a deep chestnut brown that had grown right into the mid back, and she was tiny. In a striking way, so small and delicate, like a porcelain doll. I was mesmerized and she was so lost in the waves below that she did not even hear my approach.
"Excuse me, miss?" Her head snapped up and she jumped lightly in response to my voice, we had been taught about this is college, how to calm people down and prevent rash decisions, the first step was to get a response.
"I don't want to seem like a miss obvious but you really should get down from the ledge, I promise whatever is going wrong in your life it can be sorted. I can help you" She whipped her head round to face mine and we were just meters apart, her head was shaking violently and her eyes were releasing desperate tears.
Her features were sharp and angled, she was equally as beautiful as Rosalie, but in a more delicate way. However I had learned first hand that beauty did not bring you a happy life, if anything it brought you a harder life. Her skin was a pale white, it seemed to glow beautifully so, almost inhuman.
"No-one can help me. Not even James understood.." Okay response. Check. Step two, reasoning.
"Well I'm not James. If you get down from the ledge I promise I'll listen, trust me I've heard alot of wacky tales." She turned away from me which I took as a bad sign.
"James loves me and he can't understand, you don't even know my name what makes you think that you will." Uh-oh she's got me there.
"Well I'm a psychiatrist I'm sort of trained in the area." That seemed suitable.. I mean what am I meant to say? I just don't want you to commit suicide?
"Really?" She looked back at me and stepped away from the ledge slightly. I nodded trying to create some trust between us, right that makes it all slightly easier.
"What's your name anyway?" I asked trying to keep this conversation flowing, and keep her distracted. One wrong move Bella...
"Alice, my name's Alice" And with with that she stepped away from the ledge and came towards me.
A/N Well that's chapter one. I didn't go crazy with length, normally I am very descriptive and drone on and on but I thought this was plenty enough. Apologies for the crazy long authors notes, they wont all be like that.
DoobyNeesHerKreacher