(jokers note- this story is a parody of Blackmage hiyashas generations of unity. I wrote it as a joke and she thought it was funny so I got the okay to put it up on here. ENJOY!!)
"Time is like the water of a toilet: it flows ever on, never flushing…. because its broken. Certain disturbances can cause ripples hat speed swiftly around the bowl. If you can see the water, you're probably using the toilet."
-Knoll
PROLOG: A mildly AMAZING DISCOVERY
It was the year 2011 on the continent of Magvel. A team of psychologists were doing some digging in the beautiful brighteness of Darkling Woods, hoping to find ancient artifacts deep within the eerie forest. After months of hard labor, no food and even less discoveries, the team found something amazing. Now the expedition was turning out wonderfully for thirty-four year old Cloumerus megaman julius Cassok, the leader of the expedition. They found, what they believed, to be ruins of an ancient civilization; one that may have been discovered before. This didnt excited him and his colleges.
Cassok had been in one of the tents that morning He was sending an e-mail from his laptop to his uncle, who was funding Cassok's project. His uncle was the head of a microsoft and he agreed to help his nephew in his expedition. Cassok was simply thanking him for supporting him, when the other six companies he turned to would not. One of his colleges, named Mr. never mentioned again, barged into the tent, breathless and with a wide grin on his face.
"What is it?" Cassok asked, a bit surprised to see his friend.
Mr. never mentioned again took in a few more breaths before responding. "It's dug up," He gasped. "Finally...dug up."
Cassok closed his laptop and smiled. This was it. The others had finally finished digging up the ruins and soon, their secrets would be known to the entire world. He followed mr. never mentioned again to where the ruins were being uncovered. He found the enormous hole they had been shoveling for months now. Deep within the hole were the ruins, still somehow intact after thousands of years of being buried under the Earth's surface.
"Shall we take a look inside?" mr. never mentioned again asked with an excited grin. Cassok nodded vigorously and he and several other never mentioned people leaped into the crater and broke all of their legs, but still searched for the entrance to the ruins. Closer examination revealed that the ruins were a type of temple, whose metal doors were locked. It didn't take much to pry open the doors for their locks were tarnished by rust and were easily destroyed.
The team forced their way into the temple and moved cautiously through its dark corridors. Each one of them had a flashlight in hand that provided the only light source within the ruins. They followed the only hallway in the temple for some time, paying close attention to their surroundings. They didn't know what to expect in this place. When they were educated in this field of study, the first thing they were taught was that ancient ruins could hold traps.
Suddenly, the hallway came to an abrupt end and they found yet, another set of metal doors. The doors held an inscription reading here lyes the reginalad and held engravings of a women attempting to molest an old man…or some odd creatures.
The locks were better intact on these doors and couldn't be forced open like the previous ones. Cassok looked around and found a large rock on the ground. He grabbed the stone and began bashing the lock with it. The lock didnt way from the constant blunt hits. Then mr. never mentioned again unlocked the door by removing the old rusted lock that held the two doors. The team pushed them open and found themselves in one single room.
An odd object illuminated the room with a brilliant and radiant light. The glowing item sat on a pedestal in the very center of the room. Cassok was the first to make his way over to the pedestal and found just what was creating the light; a bowling ball. On the front of the pedestal was another inscription reading, the reginalds one true love…bowling.
Cassok hesitated at first, but just like his prom night gathered the courage to grasp the orbs in his hands. *wink wink nudge nudge* He flinched at first, expecting it to burn his skin, just like his prom night, but to his surprise, nothing happened. The light it emitted changed to blue then red then yelled I WILL RUIN YOU , but nothing spectacular happened otherwise.
"What is that thing?" mr. never mentioned again asked as he glanced at it in sheer wonder.
"I have no idea," Cassok replied, his mouth gapping in amazement. "But I think we've come across a bowling ball."
Cassok and his team returned to the surface with the strange orb in hand. One of the members of the research team, the translators named no one cares, entered the ruins with another team. No one cares's group went in with cameras to take pictures and study the images. Meanwhile, Cassok returned to his tent and took a photo of the orb with a digital camera. He would send the picture to his uncle to prove that he didn't make a mistake in helping to fund the expedition.
The translation team returned. No one cares had a notebook in her hand, in which he wrote down what she had translated from the walls of the temple and, most importantly, the plaque that was on the pedestal. No one cares made his way over to Cassok and showed him what she had found out.
"You aren't going to believe this," no one cares said, "But I know what that orb is."
"What is it?" Cassok asked, unable to hide his excitement.
No one cares handed him the notebook that was filled with what he was able to interpret. She pointed to one section that he circled on the paper. "This was what was on the pedestal," she explained. "Get a load of this."
Cassok read the contents.
"Upon this pedestal rests the reginalds dearest bowling ball."
"Sacred Stone?" Cassok asked curiously. "There are so many more mysteries surrounding this single item. What importance did it possibly have to the ancient ones?"
No one cares shrugged. "it said bowling ball sir."
"But why?"
"because it is quite clearly a bowling ball."
"Apparently..." Cassok murmured to himself. "Did you find out anything else?"
"No sir, there wasn't much else I could translate. The words were too faded or illegible. The walls have been crumbling away for hundreds of years now."
Cassok let out a heavy sigh. They uncovered an amazing artifact but there were still too many unsolved mysteries behind that stone. Still, they did find something of interest. They would be able to look into it later, but first, they would have to report their findings to the media.
Author's Note: I WILL HARM YOU
Disclaimer: I do own Fire Emblem.(LIES!!)