Cam stood in the middle of the living room of the house the Air Force provided for him. Everything had happened too fast; it seemed that one minute they were being questioned, and the next he was standing here alone.
Was the last meaningful thing he said to her that it was truly a pleasure to meet her? He had missed his chance to tell her, now he more than likely would never see her again. She would never know how he felt about her.
He paced the room, deciding what to do. Where to begin, how do you start over when everything you want in life is behind you?
That night lying in bed, he allowed himself this one night of depression; he threw his arm over his eyes and cried. He made a promise to himself then and there, if he was to ever see her again he would tell her.
He thought that he was going to only allow himself one night of depression, then carry on with what life had thrown at him. How was he to know it was not going to be that easy. His one night turned into two months.
The Air Force provided him with what he needed, just not with anything to do. All he had accomplished in the last two months was drinking, sleeping, and eating. Pretty much in that order too.
Tonight was different, he missed his friends and this existence was a lonely one. He would have never thought that one step through the gate would change his life so dramatically. Tonight was the first night that he let himself think about the friends he had lost, he usually drank until he passed out so the memories wouldn't haunt him.
Tonight he took a look at what he was really doing to himself. He knew it was time to stop and move on.
He thought about Teal'c and Vala, who went missing before all hell broke loose on the Tok'ra home world. He wondered what became of them.
He wondered how Daniel was doing with the loss of his leg, he had read all the reports and knew that Jackson was a hard man to keep down. He was sure that where ever Jackson was he was fighting tooth and nail to at least get to talk to them.
Then he let himself think of the one person that he had been kicking his ass over. He should have forgotten the rules and told her how he felt. It didn't really matter here anyway. They were no longer in the Air Force, he could have told her. He knew without a doubt that the very next time, if ever, he saw her he was going to tell her.
He didn't realize until they were separated how much she really meant to him, it was just little things like seeing her smile or when he would try to drag her away from one of her gadgets and she would tell him she wanted to run one more test. A small smile came to his lips as he remembered the time one of those test got them stuck out of phase, he had given her hell over missing lunch but he wouldn't have had it any other way.
His concinse finally spoke up saying. 'What would she think of what you have become?'
He stared at the bottle in front of him as minutes passed. He finally made a choice. Grabbing the bottle as he got up he walked over to the sink and poured the rest down the drain. On the way back to the table he grabbed his dinner out of the microwave.
His dinner grew cold as his mind keep wondering back to a certain blonde, wondering what she was doing now.
Pushing his plate aside he picked up the newspaper sitting in the next chair, he needed something to do. Something to keep his mind off his missing friends, especially Sam.
He found what he was looking for in the classified ads, a car that needed to be restored. That should keep him busy for months, and hopefully keep his mind off of Sam.
A Year Later…..
When Cam walked into the room he saw the woman who had played on his mind this last year.
Looking up, Sam said, "Cameron." She smiled at him as she walked toward him, and it lit up all the darkness.
He planned to follow through no matter what or who was around.
When they embraced Cam thought 'this is what I have been missing.' In Sam's ear he whispered, "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too."
Cam hesitated, then figured what did it matter.
"I love you."
Sam pulled back saying, "Excuse me?"
"You heard me, I wanted you to know. That was all."
Just then Daniel walked in, saying, "Sam, Mitchell."
Sam walked over to Daniel and embraced him, saying, "It's good to see you."
"You too. You wouldn't believe how many times I have asked to be able to at least talk to you both."
A man walked up to them saying, "This way," and their reunion was broken up as they followed him.
In the hanger at Andrew's Air Force Base, Cam turned the corner to see Daniel and Sam with their heads together talking. The hanger was empty except for the three of them as Cam walked over to them Daniel said, "Meet you two out there."
They watched as Daniel left. Sam turned to Cam and said, "About earlier…."
"You don't have to say anything, I have just been kicking my butt for a year now because I didn't tell you."
"No it's not that, I never got a chance to tell you. I love you too."
Cam turned, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him. He lowered his head to hers then his lips were on hers. At first the kiss was soft, then exploratory; finally they were locked in a deep kiss that had them both panting when they parted.
Cam rested his forehead on hers, finally she said.
"No matter what happens, remember that I love you."
"Don't talk like that, when this is all over…."
"No plans, not right now anyway."
Cam didn't like it but he agreed with her, they didn't know what was going to happen. He finally said, "I love you too."
****
Cam hit the ground hard. Rolling to his feet he looked at the Stargate just as it shut down. Teal'c didn't follow, and that meant he was truly alone here. Then it hit him, he had seen Jackson then Sam killed.
He sat down. He wanted to take a moment to mourn his friends.
He had ten years to wait until the Achilles' was attacked by Baal.
Looking for a way out of where he was, he thought to himself, 'I just hope the future me doesn't wait until the last minute to tell Sam how he feels.'