Disclaimer: This Violet does not own InuYasha or its characters, she has no need of such. And thus no copyright infringement was intended. Foolish mortals. walks off muttering
Oh no! Violetcarson is attempting to write ANGST!! Be afraid people, this may have unintended consequences.
I was too far gone. I was so far away now, there was nothing that could be done to save me. I had lost myself, disappearing into the abyss of my blackened soul. My mind was so far lost in darkness; there was no way for me to see the light, no way to escape from the prison of my mind. I could not be saved. I was a dark angel, fallen from grace, trapped in the fires of my blackest despair. There was no hope for me. I knew this. There was no way for me to escape, yet still I hoped. I hoped, for redemption. I hoped, for another chance at life. I hoped, for him.
Him.
He was the reason behind my pain. He was the binding force behind my darkness. He had forced me to become what I now was, it was all his fault. I hated him. I wished that I'd never met him. I wished that I'd never saved him. I wished that he would have died before, that he never would have been given a second chance, that he would have perished the moment that arrow sank into his flesh. He should have died. But, he didn't. And I hated him for it.
Or did I?
Maybe, I didn't hate him for it? Maybe, I actually was thankful that he had only been asleep for those fifty years, not dead. Maybe I was thankful that he had managed to stay alive, and had awoken. Maybe, I still loved him?
After all he'd done to me. Could I still love him?
Yes, I could.
I could still love him.
I did still love him.
Damn him.
How could I still love him? After all he did to me. After pledging himself to that soulless corpse. After insulting me, time and again, for not being more useful. After all the times he would fight with everything that moved, placing both him, and us in danger. After losing control of his demon side in the final battle with Naraku. After killing the rest of our group unintentionally. After killing himself. After leaving me alone in the feudal era of Japan, with no purpose, no home, with only a red bloodstained kimono, and an empty heart.
After what his memory had driven me to become.
A knock at my chamber door startled me out of my dark reverie. "Milady, you are needed by the master." I didn't bother turning around. It would have been pointless anyway, the runners never stayed longer than they had too. Who would stay in the presence of one such as me? I wouldn't have, if I had still been the person I used to be. I know that if it was still then, I would have run screaming in the other direction. Hm, what an odd thought. Me, running away screaming. Well, I suppose stranger things have happened, occasionally.
I banished the thoughts that had been rising within me, the thoughts about him. It was pointless to be thinking of such things. InuYasha was dead; he had been for almost five years now. He was never going to come for me, no matter how much I longed for it. No matter how often I dreamed of waking up to find my savior back with me again, to find myself in his arms, as I'd never been while she was alive.
The Master would not be kept waiting. I knew firsthand just what happened to those who caused him to wait, for anything.
I rose from my place kneeling on the cold stone floor of my solitary chamber in the master's castle. My long black cloak rustled as I swept out through the open doorway and down the stone corridor, passing many terrified servants, who fled at the sight of my haunted form. I was well-known here.
As I traversed the many stone corridors leading to the master's private audience chamber, unbidden thoughts rose of how I had originally came to live with the master. It had been back when I was still in deepest despair over the loss of my companions. For a couple months I had wandered aimlessly throughout Japan, occasionally killing the stray demons that came for the complete Shikon no Tama hanging around my neck, eating only when I wandered into a village. In the end I decided it wasn't worth it anymore, and found a cave beneath a waterfall to rest in. I stayed there for several days before I fell into a stupor. It seemed like I was there for years, all alone, listening to the splash of the water outside, falling, falling, falling. And then, I woke up. It was sudden and unexpected, I had thought I was dead, but I wasn't. I was very much alive.
I heard a voice first, but I couldn't hear what the voice was saying. It seemed as if it was telling a story to someone, but the words were beyond my comprehension. I struggled in the black fog that was my mind, attempting to break free, and return to the surface. At first, my mind resisted, seeming to wish to keep me unconscious for a little longer, but it finally relented, and I sat up with a gasp. Almost immediately I became aware of the many eyes upon me, and subconsciously pulled my coverings tighter around my silk-clad form. Through cautious eyes I saw first one of the strangest people I had ever met. He vaguely reminded of images I had seen of werewolves. His body was covered almost completely in light brown fur, except for most of his face. He had 8 long cat-like whiskers on either side of his rather small mouth, and they were twitching just barely. His nose was very small, and shaped like a cat's as well. I stared at him in shock for a few moments before what I was seeing registered. Of course, he was a cat demon. A neko youkai.
At first, I was afraid. I suppose it was natural. Who wouldn't have been in my situation? But he would not allow me to be afraid. He very gently and quietly told me that I had nothing to fear, and asked for my name. It was a long time before I answered. "Kagome."
He smiled at me, but did not introduce himself. He only told me that I had been discovered by one of his scouts on patrol and had been brought here for care. I had apparently been out for two and a half weeks as well. This surprised me. How could I still be alive? They didn't have IVs or anything like them in this time period. They couldn't just stick a tube down your throat and have done with it. But he refused to elaborate on the reason for my continuing existence.
Afterwards he and the other people in the room left me alone. For a week a stayed there, not really knowing what was going on, and trying with every fiber of my being not to think about the reasons I was here, instead of...elsewhere. On the eighth day, I ventured out of the small, relatively comfortable room to see what the situation was. I wandered around what seemed to be a large castle for several hours, with no real sense of purpose. Many times I spotted youkai and human servant, lurking around corners. Whenever I tried to approach them, they fled.
I eventually came out of the castle and followed trails across the large compound and into a set of gardens, lost among the pathways leading to seemingly nowhere. I had just decided to attempt to find my way back, when I was ambushed by a youkai. Without thinking, I vaporized the snarling creature, grimacing as a gust of wind carried its ashes directly into my face. As I coughed, my eyes watering, the man approached me from beyond a tree.
He said to me then, "I am Yori, and you are mine."
And that phrase has ruled my life since.
A/N: Yo! Long time, no fanfic. Sorry peeps. I know, I have other things to be working on, but hey, I felt like doing some dark and depressing stuff. I might have a general idea where this is going, I don't really know. This was originally supposed to be song fic to Savin' Me by Nickelback, but that didn't really work out, ya know? Ah well, tell me what ya think.
VC
Oooh, the Mission Impossible Theme Song just came on!! lol