THE MUMMY COMES BACK AND DOES STUFF
By the king himself: Kingosak
One day in ancient Egypt…
"There once was a king who was a great ruler. He led his army on a conquest across Egypt looking for gold
and treasures. One day they were defeated by another army. Instead of killing them because they didn't want
to touch them because they had been wandering in the desert for a while without washing, they just told
them to go the hell away. All of the people had to survive by drinking there own piss and since all of a
sudden the place they had come from was a big dessert and nobody could get out of it. They soon got sick
of drinking piss and just died. Except for the scorpion king because he's THE ROCK! (from WWF one of
the most popular sports back then). Finally he gave up and called the dude that was cool…er…ANUBER!
That's his name. And he said that he would give him his soul in return for a cool army, eternal life, and lots
of beer, drugs and chicks. Anuber agreed and so a scorpion popped out of the ground for him to eat to close
the deal."
"Wait just a frigin' minute! I aint gonna eat this horseshit!"
"Well you'd better because otherwise the plot won't advance."
"But its sick and its dirty and it might pinch the inside of my mouth."
"Eat the other end."
"I don't want to eat it's ass! It'll probably take a dump in my mouth."
"You know you may be "The Rock" but for an actor you're a real piece of shit."
"Well that just gonna be to damn bad."
"EAT THE FRIGIN SCORPION OR YOU DON'T GET NONE BEER, DRUGS AND CHICKS!"
"Ok, ok ok just don't blame me when I hurl all over the place."
"Then he ATE THE SCORPION and got all of his army back and a whole bunch of booze, chicks and
drugs. He went on to conquer his foes and after that was put to sleep by Anuber until he felt like getting
up."
Modern Day Egypt
"Hey honey look what I found!"
"What?"
"Ancient Egyptian CONDOM!"
"They didn't have those back then."
"Oh, guess it's just left over from last night and… oh HI son…
"Daddy what is a condom?"
"A thing that has a thing and with the thing and… go read your damn book!"
"Okay."
"Hey do I see water?"
"You shouldn't."
"But I do, It's flooding the place and… OH CRAP! FLOODE!"
"That isn't supposed to happen until we get the scorpion thing."
"Well I guess we'll just have to leave it."
"But I'm wearing it Daddy."
"What the hell are you doing here and why do you have it on that doesn't happen for a really long time!"
"Oh look here comes the scorpion king."
"But he isn't alive! He's still in the thing with the thing and… who the hell is in charge of editing this
shitmovie?"
"The mummy."
"But he's the actor."
"Well I guess it's the rock then."
"He probably is the only one stupid enough to do this."
"Well I guess I'll just have to use the spear on him now…"
"Guess so."
Just then the guy that is the main character with the wife picks up the spear and throws it at the huge
scorpion thing and mutilates it really bad and ends up killing it.
"Man, I think I did him a favor. What a pointless existence. Guy didn't even have balls. What a loser."
"Got that right."
"Lets go home."
THE END
Oh that was really great huh? With the guy and the other guy and the scorpion and all that stuff. So good it
really just makes me want to cry… but I won't. Not really worth my time. To tell the truth I think that was
really bad. Half the characters didn't even come into that. Oh well… I'm incapable of writing anything serios
that has a point anyway.
By the king himself: Kingosak
One day in ancient Egypt…
"There once was a king who was a great ruler. He led his army on a conquest across Egypt looking for gold
and treasures. One day they were defeated by another army. Instead of killing them because they didn't want
to touch them because they had been wandering in the desert for a while without washing, they just told
them to go the hell away. All of the people had to survive by drinking there own piss and since all of a
sudden the place they had come from was a big dessert and nobody could get out of it. They soon got sick
of drinking piss and just died. Except for the scorpion king because he's THE ROCK! (from WWF one of
the most popular sports back then). Finally he gave up and called the dude that was cool…er…ANUBER!
That's his name. And he said that he would give him his soul in return for a cool army, eternal life, and lots
of beer, drugs and chicks. Anuber agreed and so a scorpion popped out of the ground for him to eat to close
the deal."
"Wait just a frigin' minute! I aint gonna eat this horseshit!"
"Well you'd better because otherwise the plot won't advance."
"But its sick and its dirty and it might pinch the inside of my mouth."
"Eat the other end."
"I don't want to eat it's ass! It'll probably take a dump in my mouth."
"You know you may be "The Rock" but for an actor you're a real piece of shit."
"Well that just gonna be to damn bad."
"EAT THE FRIGIN SCORPION OR YOU DON'T GET NONE BEER, DRUGS AND CHICKS!"
"Ok, ok ok just don't blame me when I hurl all over the place."
"Then he ATE THE SCORPION and got all of his army back and a whole bunch of booze, chicks and
drugs. He went on to conquer his foes and after that was put to sleep by Anuber until he felt like getting
up."
Modern Day Egypt
"Hey honey look what I found!"
"What?"
"Ancient Egyptian CONDOM!"
"They didn't have those back then."
"Oh, guess it's just left over from last night and… oh HI son…
"Daddy what is a condom?"
"A thing that has a thing and with the thing and… go read your damn book!"
"Okay."
"Hey do I see water?"
"You shouldn't."
"But I do, It's flooding the place and… OH CRAP! FLOODE!"
"That isn't supposed to happen until we get the scorpion thing."
"Well I guess we'll just have to leave it."
"But I'm wearing it Daddy."
"What the hell are you doing here and why do you have it on that doesn't happen for a really long time!"
"Oh look here comes the scorpion king."
"But he isn't alive! He's still in the thing with the thing and… who the hell is in charge of editing this
shitmovie?"
"The mummy."
"But he's the actor."
"Well I guess it's the rock then."
"He probably is the only one stupid enough to do this."
"Well I guess I'll just have to use the spear on him now…"
"Guess so."
Just then the guy that is the main character with the wife picks up the spear and throws it at the huge
scorpion thing and mutilates it really bad and ends up killing it.
"Man, I think I did him a favor. What a pointless existence. Guy didn't even have balls. What a loser."
"Got that right."
"Lets go home."
THE END
Oh that was really great huh? With the guy and the other guy and the scorpion and all that stuff. So good it
really just makes me want to cry… but I won't. Not really worth my time. To tell the truth I think that was
really bad. Half the characters didn't even come into that. Oh well… I'm incapable of writing anything serios
that has a point anyway.