A/N: Thanks to LoveforPenandDerek for sparking this idea, and for BonesBird for unknowingly titling it!

After his stomach growled for the third time, Derek Morgan finally pushed his paperwork aside and checked his watch. Almost one o'clock. Definitely time for lunch.

He used his feet to push his chair away from his desk and then stood. It had been a long time since he and Penelope had gone out for lunch together, and he thought they were long overdue. If she hadn't already eaten.

Penelope Garcia anxiously used her feet to push herself away from her work keyboard and then walk over to the portion of the counter that held her laptop all while remaining seated in her chair. She unlatched the front of her laptop and opened it up (disabling her wireless, of course! She'd learned that lesson a long time ago) and quickly hit the shortcut ICON marked His Green Goddess. As soon as it opened, her eyes devoured the last thing she'd written:

Captain James T. Kirk took a moment to admire the sight before him: Gaila, his gorgeous green Gaila, in all of her naked splendor.

He felt his dick hump in anticipation.

"Ooops…that should be…j-u-m-p," she muttered, quickly changing the word.

He felt his dick jump in anticipation. It didn't matter that he'd taken this Green Goddess to bed hundreds of times before; his body craved hers the way it had the first time they'd made love. As she stepped forward, the throbbing in his cock fell into sync with the accelerated beating of his heart; he could already feel the rhythm of his hips as he'd thrust into her—

"What in the hell is that?" Derek demanded.

Penelope shrieked as her hand flew to her chest. "Derek Morgan!" she scolded, looking over her shoulder. Sure enough, there he was. Right there! One hand was resting on the back of her chair, and he was leaning over her shoulder, his eyes glued to the computer screen. Penelope had never been so embarrassed in her entire life! She quickly slammed her laptop shut—a testament to how caught up in her story she'd been—and spun around in her chair. "You could have at least cleared your throat to announce your arrival!" she scolded.

"Oh, really?" he said, the corners of his lips lifting in amusement. "Maybe I should have thrust through your door—" He lifted his elbows into the air and thrust his hips a few times. "Uh. Uh. Like this."

"Derek!" Penelope said, mortified. Her cheeks must be blazing by now! "Stop…thrusting near me!"

He couldn't hold back a grin. "What was that, anyway?"

"It was nothing," she insisted.

"Oh, it was something. It was talking about…man parts, and…man movements," he told her. "And…who the hell was the green chick?"

Penelope sighed. "Gaila was one of the green aliens in the Star Trek movie," she explained patiently.

"You're a Trekkie?" Derek asked in shock.

"Well…no. Not…exactly," she stuttered. "OK, maybe a little. Ummm…what are you doing in here?" she asked, hoping desperately to change the subject.

"I came to see if you've had lunch yet," he answered.

"No. Not yet," she told him.

He nodded. "Want to go to that little Italian bistro down the street with me?"

Penelope sighed as her precious lunch hour filled with working on her latest Star Trek fan-fiction story disappear. "Sure," she said standing. "That sounds great." Maybe he'd forget all about what he'd just read, and she wouldn't have to answer any more of his questions!

"So…about this thrusting…" he started on their way out of her office.

Penelope sighed. This was going to be a long lunch hour.