DISCLAIMER: I don't own Animorphs or Malcolm in the Middle. However, if it were up to me, I'd have both of them continued. (That is, both the Animorphs book series and the Malcolm in the Middle TV series; I'm sorry, but I just couldn't handle that short-lived Animorphs TV series unless I was completely bored and had nothing better to do.)
A/N: I was reading this Animorphs crossover with Malcolm in the Middle by Theo Gary ("Animorphs in the Middle") when this idea popped into my head. You know how Malcolm tends to moan and groan about his life in one episode after another? Well, as this fic shows, it can always be worse. After all, Malcolm wasn't ever an Animorph, now was he?
This takes place a year after the end of the Yeerk War in the Animorphs timeline, I'd say about a few months before Visser One's trial. In the Malcolm in the Middle timeline, I'd say anytime during or after the last season, which means that Jamie has been born. Speech in bold lettering and enclosed in parentheses (like this) is when Malcolm is talking directly to the audience. Also, Theo Gary removed his Ani/MitM crossover because his inspiration for it ran dry. However, if anyone wants to read it, then they can just ask him for it.
"It Can Always Be Worse,"
By Quillian
Dedicated to Theo Gary, whose crossover fic inspired me into writing this fic. If it hadn't been for his fic, I would have never even considered the possibility of an Ani/MitM crossover, let alone believed it possible.
Things were hectic as always around the Wilkerson household, where the house seemed to be in a small state of disrepair both inside and out, and all the other houses on the street had "For Sale" signs on their lawns.
Why? Because Earth was now in contact with aliens after winning in a war nearly no one knew about with some other aliens, that was why.
Hal Wilkerson and Steve Berenson had been friends since college, and now, after this "Yeerk War" had ended, Hal really wanted to visit his old friend, to see how he and his family were doing. Their older son, Tom, had been one of these Yeerk-controlled victims, these "Controllers," and their younger son, Jake, had actually been leading a small resistance against the Yeerks.
Of course, that all sounded just too strange to be true, but Hal and his own family were enough proof to show how strange things could happen.
Currently, the whole morning at the Wilkerson residence was spent fighting over why the luggage wasn't all packed the previous night (the reason for this being that they had all been fighting then too).
Malcolm dealt with it his usual way: Moaning and groaning.
(I'm sure it was horrible for my dad's old college friend and his family to go through such an ordeal, but honestly, couldn't my family just talk to them over the phone or send them email? That's what they're for, after all.)
"Cool, I wanna meet an alien!" Dewey exclaimed excitedly, thinking of the Andalites and the Hork-Bajir.
"Too bad that girl – Rachel – died," Reese said with a decidedly stupid grin on his face. "I thought she was kinda cute."
(Of course, my brothers have other things on their minds.)
"Knock it off, all of you," Lois yelled at her brood, trying to comfort her infant son Jamie at the same time. "They lost their oldest son, who was one of these alien slaves for THREE YEARS, so you'd better be nice about it!"
(Then again, perhaps some people could use those slug thingies in their heads, to keep them under control, such as, oh, I don't know, my own family, for example.)
After much hasty packing and yelling, the Wilkerson finally got moving and took two taxis to the airport. The poor taxi drivers couldn't wait to get them out of their cars.
After a small hold up at the airport during which point Malcolm just stood near a window as he admired an Andalite spaceship coming in to land at the airport and Jamie hugging the metal detector like it was some sort of giant teddy bear, the Wilkerson family finally got on the plane to California. The poor people in the airport couldn't wait to see them go.
After a flight lasting several hours, the plane with the Wilkerson family on board finally landed in California. The poor passengers on the plane couldn't wait to get as far away from that lunatic family as possible.
(Now, I don't mean to sound insensitive to all those other people, but if all they had to put up with was endless and pointless family bickering, and nothing like explosions or ruined property, then they should count their lucky stars.)
After that, they took a limousine sent by Marco (a friend of the Berensons' younger son, Jake) to go to the hotel where their luggage was dropped off, and then went directly to the new mansion Marco had gotten through all the money he earned doing advertisements. Francis and his wife, Piama, already arrived there just a few minutes sooner.
(If only I was this rich or had a place of my own…)
A few moments later, the Berensons met up with the Wilkersons.
"Hey Hal," Steve said. "Long time, no see."
"Likewise," Hal said with a small smile, as the two of them shook hands. The smile then faded as Hal asked in a more serious tone, "So, how are you and your family holding up?"
Hal glimpsed a sort of haunted look in Steve's eyes. "I want to say that my wife are holding up okay – given the unbelievable circumstances – but Jake… he's just been in a funk ever since the end of it. He helped win a war which almost no one knew was being fought, and he's been just moping around."
Hal shrugged. "I wish I could help…"
"I know you would, Hal," Steve said seriously. "Come on, let's go inside."
Inside were Jake, Marco and Cassie. The former leader of the Animorphs slouched in a chair, his eyes unfocused as he stared off into space as his two friends tried to start a conversation with him. In another room, Eva was talking to Jean, the former trying to console the latter about going through the awful experience of being a Controller.
Francis and Piama were outside, with Ax grazing some distance away (the Andalite had given a disgusted look after learning about some of the things that Francis did on the ranch and walked off). Marco's butler was given the day off.
"Look, Jake, you can't do this forever," Marco was saying. "Moping around like this won't bring them back."
"Jake, I doubt Tom or Rachel would want you to be like this," Cassie added.
Jake glanced at them for a moment before going back to gazing outside, where Ax was trying to look anywhere else other than Francis and Piama smooching.
Marco sighed. "I think I need to take a break. Trying to get a friend out of a funk isn't as easy as it looks."
"You know something, Marco?" Cassie told him. "You're on to something there…"
The sliding door opened, and Ax trotted back inside, his hooves clip-clopping as he walked. (You humans are right when you say to be careful what you wish for,) he commented. (I wanted to learn some more about human habits and survival methods, but after learning about what they do on a typical ranch, I am beginning to reconsider.)
"Heh," Marco shrugged. "If I was that interested in living on a dude ranch, I wouldn't be in this mansion right about now."
"Wow, what a cool mansion!" a small kid's voice exclaimed.
Marco and Cassie turned to see the newcomers, and Ax turned a stalk eye to see who they were.
(Are these the Wilkersons?) Ax asked his friends.
Jake grunted an affirmative answer. He could recognize them by their voices from when his parents called them (he could hear the yelling and fighting from the other end all the way across the room during that).
Greetings and such went all around, and a few minutes later, everyone was off talking about something else. The adults all clustered together talking, Cassie was talking to Francis and Paima about life on a dude ranch, Marco and Reese exchanged jokes, Dewey went around following Ax like an Earth puppy dog to be fascinated by this strange alien, Malcolm went off to contemplate the view and Jake went back to staring off into space.
At first, it went well… at first.
"So, what do you like most about doing on the ranch?" Cassie asked Francis
"Oh, maybe it's raising the cows… because after I accidentally blew up one of my boss's cows, we found a way to make those stupid bovines taste GREAT," Francis said with a smile on his face.
"So, what do you like to do for fun?" Marco asked.
"Oh, I like picking on short kids like you just for fun," Reese said with a stupid grin, obviously not thinking first before he said that.
"Wow, you're so amazing!" Dewey said in awe, following Ax around. "Can I ride on your back?"
(As flattered as I am by your admiration of my species' appearance, I am going to ask you to stop following me around,) Ax said politely. (And no, you may not ride on my back.)
"I could be getting my homework done right about now, but no…" Malcolm moaned to himself.
Jake just kept staring off into space, although he began to twitch a little at hearing Malcolm as he continued to go on, bitching and monaing…
However, as the old saying goes, "Familiarity breeds contempt." This was proven to be true as conversations took a collective turn mere minutes later…
"Cows are NOT stupid animals, nor are any other typical animal you'd find on a ranch! I've morphed enough of them to know that!"
"Well, I'm sorry, but not many other people HAVE been able to 'morph' them in the past to know that, now have there?"
"I could take you on any day of the week! I've done enough wrestling to know how to beat you!"
"And I've fought as a gorilla enough times to practically make an art form of fighting out of it!"
"Can I please ride on your back?"
(Listen, I mean it! Stop asking me that!)
"No one can even begin to imagine how difficult it is for me, with everything from school to my own family…" Malcolm was complaining as if to some divine being above.
Finally, Jake snapped.
"STOP IT, ALL OF YOU!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. Everyone paused in the positions they were in, making for a peculiar scene indeed.
Jake was now on his feet, looking angry. "Look at all of you, arguing about stupid little stuff like that! Trust me, you don't know how good you have it!"
Malcolm, still on his verbal rampage about his family, now turned his sights on Jake.
"Look, Jake, you don't know what it's like with my family…"
"SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!" Jake ranted, now looking ready to cause some serious damage without even having to morph. "Maybe I don't have your family, but at least you still have all the members of your family alive and well!"
"Oh, come on!" Malcolm scoffed. "You have the power to turn into any animal you touch! You've gone into space and even to other planets! You fought off an entire alien invasion!"
Unwittingly, everything Malcolm pointed out and wished he had or had done was nearly everything Jake despised.
A truly cold look appeared on Jake's face. "So you think the past few years for me were some glamorous, adventurous thing like out of some fantasy or science-fiction saga?"
Malcolm reconsidered his own words when he saw that Jake began to change…
A sort of slimy yellow skin replaced Jake's normal skin. His two arms split off into four tentacles evenly spaced around his body, which was now wide and barrel-shaped. His feet became big and webbed, and his round yellow face was dominated by two big eyes that seemed to glow with a sort of light from within them.
Everyone (other than Marco, Cassie and Ax, that is), gaped at this kind of creature which Jake morphed into, the likes of which never evolved on Earth.
(You like it?) Jake asked Malcolm in a mocking tone. (It's a Leeran, a member of the sentient species from Leera. I happened to acquire one during a bizarre trip there. These Leerans have a special kind of telepathy which rivals even Andalite thought-speech. Fortunately, since this is only a morph, I can shut off the thing about having to hear other people's thoughts and feel other people's emotions.)
After a pause, Jake then asked, (So, Malcolm, you think my life couldn't be worse than yours? Think again!)
And with that, Jake used his thought-speech abilities to project his experiences into Malcolm's mind.
Malcolm was overwhelmed by the sudden psychic blast.
Jake's Leeran tentacles seemed to twitch sporadically as he took every last awful experience fighting the Yeerks and forced them into Malcolm's mind. There were some pretty awful images…
Seeing the hell known as the Yeerk Pool, with the screams and cries of enslaved humans… actually being a Controller for a few days… being thrown into an alternate future where the Yeerks won…
But nearly all the memories shoved into Malcolm's mind centered around Jake's family and friends, as well as what happened to them.
First figuring out that Tom was really a Controller… finding out how Tom became a Controller in the first place… constantly having to feign ignorance about Tom being a Controller… his parents being taken by the Yeerks to be turned into slaves… Rachel having to kill Tom… Rachel herself dying…
"ARGH! PLEASE, NO MORE! I GET THE IDEA!" Malcolm heard himself yelling, crouched on the floor with his head in his hands.
There was a deadly silence as everyone saw Malcolm try and recover from this experience and Jake demorph.
"I won't pretend to know what your home life is like, Malcolm, but remember, it can always be worse," Jake said in a flat tone. He didn't even appear to be angry anymore; instead, he just returned to his depressed, seemingly-not-quite-in-touch-with-reality state. After a moment, he muttered something about going outside and departed from the room.
Malcolm was about to respond, but words failed him.
(You know something… I think he's right.)
A/N: So, how was this crossover fic? For some reason, it didn't turn out quite the way I thought it would, and it kind of started with humor yet ended with angst. In addition to that, I never really did have much of a plot in mind, but sort of wanted Malcolm to be put in his place with his "I-have-it-worst-off" spiel. I don't think this may have been one of my better stories, but I wrote it mainly to get the idea out of my head. Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome, but please, no flames; it's just general courtesy.
Note about how I depicted the characters involved from both crossovers: I just hope I got the different characters from both fandoms down correctly. I sincerely apologize if I didn't.
Note about the Leeran morph: Remember the trip to Leera in #18? Anyway, I figured that since none of the Animorphs who acquired Leeran morphs ever used them since, we not have at least one of them use it now?
Now, to get back on track with my other fanfiction… –Quillian