Voldemort's Lament
Inspired by The Friendship of SparksSnitch154
(Not really, but sort of.)
Disclaimer!: I don't, or have never at anytime owned Harry Potter. Or a Very Potter Musical. Because there is an unquoted quote from that in here.
"And how does this make you feel, Mr… Voldemort?" The councilor asked the pale, grown man on his lounge.
"Well, I was teased by all my Deatheaters. Apparently, there was this muggle named Michael Jackson that they compared me too!" He complained, and sighed heavily. "There is some importance to having a nose! Looks aren't everything, you know!"
"Of course not Mr. Voldemort." The councilor sniffed.
"Stop showing off your nose!" Voldemort pulled out his wand. The councilor shifted uncomfortably,
"Sorry… What else is on your mind Mr. Voldemort?"
"Call me Supreme Leader Voldemort. The Great."
"No."
"Alright, well, I was always really pale. Like, one time, I took a small vacation to Mexico. And so there I am, sitting on the beach, when a mariachi band starts playing their music and sniggering at me! It was quite embarrassing."
"And how did you respond to this sniggering?"
"I killed them of course!" Voldemort gave a satisfied grin.
"Yes, it's only natural." The councilor jotted down some notes on his pad, with a look of concern.
"What are you writing there?" Voldemort sat up and leaned forward on his knees.
"Just some notes, please lay back down. I just have a few more questions for you."
"Okay…" Voldemort said reluctantly, but he shot back up for another question. "You know, you know a lot about me, but I don't even know your name!"
"You can just call me Stephen, Mr. Volde-"
"Then you can call me Voldy, Stephen!" 'Voldy' stuck out his hand. Stephen went to shake his hand, but Voldemort pulled it away and opened it and closed it several times. "Jellyfish!" Voldy teased. He laughed heartily, Stephen just looked at him. "Oh, I'm sorry, you want a hug?" Voldemort stood to hug him, and Stephen just sat there, staring quizzically. He did the same motions as last time, but with his arms in stead of fingers. "Bigger jellyfish!" He started laughing hysterically, eventually to the point were he was on the ground holding his sides.
"Mr. Voldemort, may we please get back to your session?" Stephen exhaled deeply.
"Only if you call me Voldy!" The pale man teased. He started laughing more. And more. But then, he started crying. "Bellatrix used to laugh before she died. I kind'a liked Bellatrix!" He got back on the sofa and put his hands over his mouth, as if he'd said something awful. "But I never admitted that."
"Never." Stephen nodded.
"You know, you think killing people will make them like you, but it doesn't. It just makes them dead!"
"Alright, 'Voldy', your session time is over. I've clinically diagnosed you with insanity. Please see the lady at the desk to direct you to the asylum."
"I'm not insane, you stupid muggle!" Voldemort pulled out his wand. "Avada Kadavra!"
The End.