AN: Please, please do not ask me when this takes place. I have no idea. Suffice to say that Katara is with the Gaang, Zuko is still hunting them, and they have fallen in love and are hiding the relationship. I have confidence in you; you've read enough fics to be able to come up with something… you could even write about it if you wanted to! Oh yeah--please review!
Disclaimers: Nah. None of it is mine. Not even the lovely poem. Which is incomplete; go read the rest of it if you want to.
"Stay, O sweet! And do not rise—
The light that shines comes from thine eyes;
The day breaks not: it is my heart
Because that you and I must part.
Stay! Or else my joys will die,
And perish in their infancy."
---"Stay! O Sweet", John Donne
The Line Between Chivalry and Idiocy
Streaks of golden light reached forth to guild the treetops, stretching playfully after a long night of darkness. Instead of basking in the sun as he normally would, welcoming the return of his full fire bending abilities, Zuko, Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, scowled at the innocent light, unleashing the full fury of his glare upon it.
The sun continued its rise, utterly unmoved.
Seeing that his efforts were wasted, Zuko turned his attention to more rewarding activities. Namely, clasping the sweetly sleeping Katara closer in his arms.
His fierce scowl softened, becoming almost a grin, as he gazed down on her. Oh, how he envied her, able to slumber peacefully, unaware that their time together was slipping quickly by. He brushed a gentle hand across her cheek, feeling his heart constrict painfully. Soon, much too soon, he would have to let her go again! He couldn't do it, couldn't face the anguish and aloneness yet again. He would break, would loose his cool façade and shatter into a million tiny, razor sharp pieces, cutting anyone who dared touch him. But…
Surely, if he felt like this, if he knew he couldn't take another goodbye and face another interminable time without Katara, never knowing when or if he would see her again, surely she felt the same?
More so, perhaps. He was well aware of how much she loved him, needed him. She was not nearly so skilled at hiding her emotions; indeed, she did not feel the need to do so. Lucky, lucky Katara. He desperately hoped it wouldn't get her killed some day when he wasn't there to watch over her…
She was so delicate, so fragile, despite all her inner strength and fire. Another parting could break her, forever crushing his love. She was so precious to him now… He could allow nothing to hurt her. It would be easy to convince her that she needn't go back to the Avatar and her brother, easy to lead her onto his ship and into his life, easy to grab hold of her and never let go again.
She would do it. He knew. She loved him that much. He stiffened against her slumbering form, body tensing in excitement. She would do it! She would do it because she loved him and wanted his happiness. Just as he loved her and wanted…
He slumped back against the tree. Just as he loved her and wanted her happiness.
Life with him, much as she loved him, could never bring her true happiness. Not while he still longed to hunt and capture her friends, dooming them to a life of imprisonment. She would want him to stop hunting them. She could never understand that he couldn't. Not if he was to remain the man she'd given her love to.
He couldn't expect her to change either. They were who there were; to change was to loose themselves. To loose that… was to stop being the person each loved.
Being with him, loving him, as he hunted down her family would rip her apart. He would kill something inside of her, something that made her Katara, just as surely as if he'd taken a knife to her slender brown throat.
He would kill her.
No. He could not let that happen. Would not.
They'd been deluding themselves, thinking that they could be together.
He could never let anything hurt Katara. Least of all himself.
"Love you", he whispered, pressing his lips gently against the black silk of her hair, memorizing the touch and feel of it, the texture and scent.
A single tear slipped from his eye, running to the tip of his nose, then falling into space, dropping quietly onto her blue robes. He noticed the tiny sound, carefully taking note of it, recording it in his mind to examine later. So this is the sound of a breaking heart. I always thought it would be more…dramatic.
Zuko lifted his head and watched as the sun continued to rise. Carefully, with the utmost precision and attention to detail, the prince sealed away his crumbling heart, filling in all the chinks in its walls with resolve, mortaring the bricks with a single goal: he would never hurt her again. Just as carefully, he smoothed emotion from his face: anguish, loss, fear, sadness, all replaced with an impassive blankness.
Looking down at the sleeping girl one last time, he carefully and deliberately loosened his arms.
He blinked in the morning light. Sunlight had crested the trees, throwing glowing light into the quiet meadow. The beginning of a new day.
It was time to let Katara go.
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