The Kill
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of it's characters. I do not own the amazing song that is The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars!
AN: I picked this song for a songfic with Katie because with all that is going on in her life (her bulimia and her pain killer addiction) she is really fighting with herself to accept that this is who she really has become. As Jared said ""It's really about a relationship with yourself. It's about confronting your fear and confronting the truth about who you are." He has also said it is about "confrontation as a crossroads" — coming face-to-face with who you really are"...I love this song and 30 Seconds To Mars they are one of my favorite bands of all time and this song just fits with Katie's storylines (In my mind it does)! I how you guys enjoy this! R and R please! Reviews are appreciated! Thanks!
What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do? (Oh, oh)
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do, do, do?
To say Katie had a stressful life was a complete understatement. Everywhere she turned people were dependent of her. Left and right she was needed for something. What would happen if one day that stress and that pressure to be perfect became too much for her handle?
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
She knew people didn't like her she was even told so by other classmates. They were just jealous anyway right? She would soon be done with all of them. Finshed...
What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you (from you)
She wanted to just block out the things that were happening to her but she couldn't. Things were so complicated. She was only running from herself. Not anymore she done running... Done trying.
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
Her mind was taking control over her. That little evil voice inside her was pushing her and and pushing her... It wouldn't stop. She needed to be perfect but she wasn't. She needed to be skinny but she wasn't... Not in her mind. Not at all
I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am.
She tried acting like the people around her. Even let Marisol give her a makeover nothing changed. No matter how many times she threw up or skipped meals or took those stupid pills she wouldn't be better. She had to accept it sooner or later. This is who she has become: alone, bitter, depressed, and an emotional wreck. She had to finally accept herself... Now or never.
Ah, ah
Oh, oh
Ah, ah
People around her tried to help. They tried telling people: her parents, the principal, her doctors. She wouldn't listen. In a way she didn't want to get better not now not ever!
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you.
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
When her parents, best friend, sister and boyfriend finally surprised her with a setup intervention that's when she finally snapped. She couldn't handle anything anymore. She was becoming weak and tired of fighting. This had to stop.
Come break me down (bury me, bury me)
Break me down (bury me, bury me)
Break me down (bury me, bury me)
She had a panic attack. She was hyperventilating and it was too much for her body to handle. It was all over. She soon let the darkness take over her and she never looked back.
(You say you wanted more)
What if I wanted to break...?
(What are you waiting for?)
Bury me, bury me
(I'm not running from you)
What if I
What if I
What if I
What if I
Bury me, bury me
They tried to save her but it was too late. Things had gone too far. She died later the next morning. Wishes of sorrow and regret were sent. Her enemies felt guilty and remorseful. Her parents wept for days. Her sister wouldn't come out of her room. Her best friend was having nightmares and worst of all the love of life was not even accepting it was true.
But it was because Katie Matlin was now dead and all that was left behind was a journal with every dark horrifying secret that led her to this point. No turning back now...
Fin