No Surprises
By
annie
"So tell me how you managed to get into the closet-" John held up a hand before Rodney could burst forth with his usual technobabble. "In words the average five year old can understand, okay?" he added, glaring down at his recently downsized best friend.
"You mean, average for me or average for you?" Rodney asked placidly as he finished putting the last piece of duct tape on the Christmas present he'd opened.
"Hey, I could have been-"
"In Mensa," Rodney finished for him, giving a theatrical yawn. "How many more times are you going to tell that story?"
John hunkered down so he could glower into Rodney's eyes more comfortably. "You know," he said, "I got a shipment of dvds from Jeannie the other day. Something called Supernanny. Supernanny's a big proponent of the naughty chair. Keep it up and you'll be giving it a test drive."
Rodney lowered his eyes and John thought he saw a small shudder in his shoulders. "Oh for crying out loud," he said, pulling Rodney in for a hug. "It's okay, buddy. Look, I should have known the anticipation would be too much for you. I just want to know how you did it so I can make sure you can't ever do it again. Don't you want Christmas to be about surprises?"
Rodney shrugged. "Never much liked surprises," he replied. "I mean, look at me. One minute I'm an adult and a second and a flash of light later I'm a kid again. If you don't think that was a surprise…"
"Yeah, I can imagine," John said. He ruffled Rodney's hair then stood up. "Okay, no surprises. If you promise not to tell Teyla what's in that present you just opened thinking it was for you, I'll ditch the naughty chair. Deal?"
"Deal." Rodney held out his small hand and shook John's big one firmly. "I have to tell you though your taste in presents sucks. I hope I'm going to do better than poor Teyla. I mean, Sunshine? John Denver? Are you kidding me?" He rolled his eyes then grinned. "Could have been worse, I suppose. At least it's not Dolly Parton."
"Hey, I happen to like John Denver's music and I'm sure Teyla will too," John said, placing the duct taped package under the Christmas tree with a hope that Teyla wouldn't notice the obvious rewrapping. "Let's go eat," he said, scooping Rodney up to sit astride his shoulders. "Now tell me how you did it."
"I used bobby pins to bridge the gap between the first and second crystal in the door lock," Rodney said.
"Bobby pins?" John asked incredulously.
"Bobby pins."
The end!