Touch in me grief and comfort,
Love and passion,
Pain and pleasure.
Sing me a lullaby, a love song, a requiem.
Love me, comfort me, bring me to god.
Sing me a love song.
Sing me to heaven.
Grief
It was a calm summer night where the stars shone brightly and the moon streamed its brilliant light through the window. Drake and Josh were cuddled up together, bare-chested under the covers. Neither had said anything in a bit, and they were just enjoying each other's company before succumbing to sleep. Drake's head rested on Josh's chest, and he was content to lay like that forever.
Just as Drake was about to drift off to dreamland, he felt Josh's breath quicken against his neck. He was slightly unsettled, wondering what had set him off, but he ignored it until he heard a whimper. "Josh?" Drake sat up and turned to look at him. "Are you okay?" Before Drake could say anything else, Josh let out a sob and nestled his head in Drake's chest.
Drake was completely confused, but cradled Josh's head in his arms, rocking him back and forth gently. He was trying to do all he could to soothe him, but he didn't know exactly what was wrong.
"A year ago," Josh said into Drake's skin.
"What?" Drake asked, stroking Josh's hair gently.
"She died."
Drake felt his heart sink. It had been a year since Grammy's death. He remembered the day of the funeral so vividly – he had never been good with exact dates – but for all the wrong reasons. He remembered Josh crying harder than he'd ever seen, bright blue eyes broken and bloodshot, while he remained completely helpless. He remembered how Josh had reached for his hand when they lowered the casket into the ground and how he'd been squeezing so hard he'd almost broken his fingers. He remembered Megan – Megan, of all people – crying into his chest. He remembered having to be the rock, though he had no clue how.
"Shh," he whispered, rubbing Josh's back. "It's okay. Shh."
Drake continued to rock Josh back and forth until his sobbing became a dull whine. "Joshie," he said quietly, brushing his hand over Josh's tangled hair, "why don't you try to get some sleep? Everything will be a little bit brighter in the morning."
Josh nodded, finally managing to pull himself away. "Okay. I love you."
"I love you, too. So much." Drake kissed him as Josh got settled in Drake's arms.
"Thank you," Josh said softly, sniffling as Drake wiped away a few of his tears.
Drake just kissed him again, wrapping his arms even tighter around him.
Comfort
It was supposed to be double date night with Craig and Eric. Right now, they were supposed to be out to some fancy new restaurant before heading to some laser light show Craig and Eric were far more excited about than Drake and Josh were. According to what Josh told the other couple, Drake was supposed to be sick and that was why they were sitting at home right now instead of out on the town. Drake, of course, wasn't sick, and instead was curled up under a blanket as he sat in Josh's lap with his head buried in his neck.
Josh had one hand absently resting in Drake's hair as he stroked his fingers through his auburn locks. He planted a kiss on Drake's cheek as he let out a squeak at the horror movie they were watching, averting his eyes from the screen. "I hate horror movies," Drake whined, daring to look at the screen again and shuddering at the blood pouring out of the lifeless corpse.
"But you like cuddling," Josh reminded him, pressing his lips against Drake's temple.
"Yeah, but do we have to watch blood and guts and gross stuff just to cuddle?" Drake asked, pulling the blanket around him a little tighter, shifting closer to Josh.
Josh tightened his grip around Drake's waist with a sigh. "Oh, shush and watch the movie. You can have Mr. Puff Puff tonight."
"I'd rather have you." Drake gave Josh a seductive grin and slid his hand down to rest on Josh's zipper.
He returned the smile. "You can have that, too."
Love
Drake didn't really know what love was until he knew he loved Josh. Sure, there were girls he liked and girls he lusted after, but it was never the same as the way he felt about Josh. The girls were easily replaceable. All it took was another warm body with another short skirt, and Drake was instantly pleased. In a few days – or at most a week – he was bored with them and sent them on their ways. He never wanted to replace Josh and couldn't bear even thinking of it. He never got bored with him and that confused Drake.
It confused him when he got butterflies during each hug. It confused him when he just wanted more after Josh kissed him unexpectedly to thank him for the Oprah tickets. It confused him when his whole world crashed down when Josh decided he was done with him. It confused him when the only thing that brought the light back to his life was Josh deciding to give him another chance (one that he probably didn't deserve, and he knew it). It confused him when during one of their hugs he decided he could spend the rest of his life like that in Josh's arms.
After a little while, Drake figured out that it had to be love. There was no other explanation for the tingly feeling he got any time Josh was around. He relished in moments they spent together, especially the nights curled up on the couch where he'd fall asleep with his head on Josh's shoulder. He was terrified that all of this was one-sided. He didn't want to bring anything up for fear that he would ruin everything they had – that was the last thing he ever wanted.
The best day of Drake's life was when Josh said, "I love you, too" before planting a tender kiss on his lips.
Passion
"Oh, god, Josh, that was perfect," Drake panted, falling back to the pillow and pulling the cool sheets around his naked body. "Oh my god."
Josh grinned, brushing Drake's bangs off his forehead. He pulled Drake into his arms, feeling at ease when Drake relaxed into his body. "So perfect."
They lied in silence for a bit just enjoying the moment. Josh was about to fall asleep when he felt Drake planting a trail of kisses down his jawline, stroking his chest lightly.
"Drake," he started, but he was cut off by Drake swiping his tongue under Josh's. The sound was turned into a moan in the back of his throat as he grabbed Drake's hair and pulled him closer against him.
Drake pressed his hips against Josh's and smiled when he felt his breath hitch in his throat. He was glad the passion was going to go on for a little longer.
Pain
"Why would you do that?" Josh asked with annoyance in his tone, but cuddling Drake all the same as the smaller boy attached himself to him.
"Now's not the time for lectures," Drake moaned, cradling his arm. It was in a sling, but the pain hadn't let up yet. He'd sustained the injury in a crowd surfing incident gone wrong. Everything was going well and Drake felt like he was on top of the world until some asshole dropped him. Hard. Josh was right by his side, running over like a mad man and flailing about and yelling at the guy in the spastic fashion only he could do. Drake had to pry Josh off, letting the guy know that there were no hard feelings even though he really did just want to deck him. He was content to finish the show, but Josh insisted that they go straight to the emergency room much to Drake's chagrin. That was how Drake ended up in the sling that he already despised. It prevented him from playing guitar and doing just about anything else.
Josh slid his arm around Drake's slender shoulders. "You're so reckless."
"Joshie, it hurts." Drake extended his lower lip into a pout and gave Josh the saddest look he could muster, pain residing in his deep eyes.
"You can't have any more pain medication. You can take some in two hours, but not until then."
Drake let out a groan, his head falling to the back of the couch miserably. He was about ready to take the entire bottle, and if Josh wasn't there, he'd probably at least have taken two more. "Can you do me a favor?"
Josh shrugged, but then his eyes widened. "I am NOT doing you sexual favors tonight, Drake! Tonight of all nights is not the time for that! Oprah says that having sex with the injured – "
"Whoa, stop right there," Drake answered, holding up his one good hand in protest. "No. Not tonight. Fudgie Boos?" His eyes sparkled with childlike excitement.
A grin came over Josh's face as he nodded and kissed Drake. "I'll even let you like the spoon."
Drake smiled and returned Josh's kiss. "Even better than pain medication."
Pleasure
Josh had two guilty pleasures in his life.
One was Oprah. He loved Oprah more than most things in life. She was inspirational, she was intelligent, she was empowering – she was god to him. Watching her show made him feel fantastic. Only Oprah could be so diplomatic when talking about all the tough issues. Only Oprah could talk about sex and not make it extremely awkward. Only Oprah could help people with her self-esteem in that charming way she did. Only Oprah could come across as so warm and inviting. Josh's one wish was to meet her one day, but with the restraining order in place, he knew that wasn't ever going to happen, sadly. But as much as Josh loved Oprah, she couldn't compare to the one true love in Josh's life.
Josh's second guilty pleasure was Drake. Drake was everything he never knew he needed but now was everything he ever wanted. He was excitement, he was love, he was a shoulder to cry on, he was a best friend, he was perfection. Drake wasn't like everyone else Josh knew – he didn't care about much and managed to breeze through life on his good looks. He never did very well in school because he cared far more about his music than he did good grades, and Josh knew that graduation was one of the happiest days of his life. In some ways, Drake was still a mystery to Josh. He was a mystery because Josh couldn't figure out how they fit – they somehow managed to fall perfectly in line with one another. Their personalities meshed so well you couldn't tell where one started and the other ended. Polar opposites, but so much the same that it was alarming.
Drake had his fair share of screw-ups. He was reckless and unstable, and that part of him terrified Josh. He was so straight laced, always wanting to play by the rules and never venture off the path. Drake would contentedly live in the grey area or color outside the lines without a second thought. There were times he and Josh went a few days without talking, and it was hard for both of them, especially since they shared an apartment. It meant dinner was eaten in silence, the couch became a bed for one of them, and overall it was not a pleasant experience. But when Drake apologized, Josh automatically let him back in. All it took was that look of sadness in Drake's eyes, and he immediately fell in love with him again and again.
Sometimes he wished he wasn't so wrapped around Drake's finger, but the second their lips touched, he knew why he was. Drake was the best guilty pleasure there was.