Title: Is There Anything I Can Do?
Fandom: Spooks
Characters/Pairings: Harry/Ruth
Rating: 15/T
Warnings: None

Summary: Just when and how did Ruth find out that her step-brother had committed suicide?

Disclaimer: I don't own Spooks or any of the characters you may recognise. They all belong to Kudos/BBC.

A/N: Inspired by a re-watch of 4x10 and by reading Chapter 13 of 'Missing Scenes' by HR Always Live On. I wondered how Ruth had found out about what had happened and wanted to explore what could possibly have been in her personnel file to make Harry think she could talk Angela out of that room. What was the lie she told based on?

Chapter 1

Wednesday 30th April 2005, 10.48pm

It was nearing eleven o'clock and Harry was in his office working late. He was reviewing the field reports on their last operation when there was a knock on his door.

"Come in!" he called and was surprised to see Ruth enter; she never knocked. The fact that she had raised his suspicions that something was wrong and one look at her confirmed them. Her face was extremely pale and she looked as if she'd been crying. He was on his feet and at her side instantly. "Ruth?"

"Harry I need to go home. My…" she trailed off as her emotions overcame her.

"What is it? What's happened?"

Ruth composed herself and swallowed harshly. "My step-brother, Peter. He's…he's dead."

Harry guided her to the sofa in the corner of his office.

"Sit down, Ruth."

"No. I'm fine," she protested but sat down anyway. "We weren't that close. It's just a shock."

Harry doubted that, but didn't think now was the time to argue. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Can you manage without me tomorrow?"

"Of course. Can I…can I ask what happened?"

"He shot himself," Ruth stated, her voice catching as she spoke. "He had a problem…with alcohol."

"I'm sorry. You must take some proper time off."

"Just tomorrow will be enough. Like I said, I'm fine."

"I know, but you should be with your family."

"Harry..."

"I mean it Ruth. I don't want to see you on the Grid until Monday at the earliest. If I do, I'll send you back to GCHQ."

"You wouldn't," she countered. "I'm too valuable to you…to the team."

"Do you really want to test that?" he asked, covering his emotions. His heart had stopped at the thought that she knew how he was beginning to feel about her on a personal level and he was relieved when she added those three words.

"Okay," she relented. I'll take a couple of days, but I'll be back on Monday."

"Thank you," he said, standing up and retrieving his coat. "Come on, I'll drive you home."

"That's really not necessary Harry."

Harry looked at his watch. "Well it's that or wait another 40 minutes for a bus."

Ruth looked at her own watch to confirm. He was right of course, the last bus to her house was the last one, and that wasn't due until 11.30. She fleetingly wondered why he knew the bus timetable to her house, but her thoughts were interrupted by his hand on the small of her back, guiding her out of his office.

She picked up her bag and coat, shut down her computer and followed Harry into one of the pods.

11.25pm

Harry pulled up outside Ruth's house and she turned and gave him a tired smile. "Thank you Harry. Really. You've got me home quicker than the bus or a taxi would have. At this rate, I'll be in Cheltenham before two."

"You're driving there tonight?"

"Yes. My mother; she's devastated, as of course is my stepfather. I need to get there as soon as possible."

"It's nearly half eleven and that's at least a two hour drive."

"I'm well aware of how far it is," she snapped. "I've done the journey often enough." Harry winced at her tone and she instantly regretted it. "I'm sorry Harry; you didn't deserve that. I'm just…emotional."

"Another reason why you shouldn't drive. Hells bells Ruth, you've been working longer days than me this week, you must be shattered."

"We had a terrorist cell to crack."

"I know but…"

"But what? I have to get home and I can't afford to wait until the morning. I'll have a quick cup of coffee and I'll be fine. Don't worry." She got out of the car, turning back to him before shutting the door. "Thanks for the lift Harry. I'll see you Monday."

Ruth threw some clothes and her wash bag into a small suitcase, whilst waiting for the kettle to boil. Once it had she poured herself a cup and as she carried her mug into the living room, her eyes fell on the photo on her mantelpiece. It was a family photo taken at Christmas 10 years ago, before Peter's alcoholism had become debilitating and he was fired from Royal Protection. Her, her mother, David and Peter, all squashed onto the sofa, smiling and laughing. They weren't even posing for the camera. Ruth didn't remember who took the picture; possibly one of her aunts but she remembered the moment. Her uncle had told some God-awful joke and she and Peter, having a similar sense of humour had erupted in a fit of giggles which quickly became contagious. It wasn't long before the four of them were laughing uncontrollably, which must have been when the photo had been taken.

She'd lied when she told Harry they hadn't been close. Well, not lied exactly; merely glossed over the truth. The truth being that they had been close; her mother had met David when she was 14 and despite being away at boarding school, she and Peter had gotten on well. There was only two years between them so they had face the onslaught of acne and teenage angst together. In fact, as a teenager she'd had a massive crush on Peter, she'd been hopelessly besotted with him. She often thought it should have been her and Peter who had met, rather than her mother and his father. All her friends were embarking on relationships, but Ruth was too bookish, boys very rarely paid her any attention. With Peter it was different; he talked to her, valued her, cared about her. When their parent's marriage was on the rocks and the rows were getting too much; she'd jumped at the chance to get away with him to Blackpool for a mad week. They'd drank a lot; Ruth could barely recall most of it, but she did remember, with startling clarity, making a drunken pass at Peter. He'd let her down gently, explaining that he saw her as a sister; nothing more. She'd been absolutely mortified, but he'd been brilliant about it; he never mentioned it again, never teased her or held it against her.

Her mother and stepfather were oblivious to all this; in the rows that had followed their return her actions in Blackpool had not been mentioned and paradoxically, their little jaunt up north reunited her mother and his father. She'd moved out the quite soon after their return; getting a student flat for the remainder of her time at Oxford. After that, their relationship was never the same; his rejection had hurt her, and things changed. They didn't keep in contact and only tended to see each other at family meals and holidays. Eventually her feelings went away. She still cared for him as a brother though and was upset at his death, despite what she might tell Harry, but her emotions were dulled slightly by his rejection.

If anything she felt guilt more than anything; she knew he had a problem and wondered if she could have done more; if any of them could. This however, was not the time to ponder such things; she needed to be strong for her mother, David and Peter's girlfriend; Angela. She wasn't particularly fond of Angela; Peter had met her not long after the weekend in Blackpool, and when Ruth had been told about her, she was still hurting and found herself jealous of Angela. That feeling was only compounded when she'd met her; blonde and beautiful with an exciting job in MI-5, Ruth felt inadequate next to her. She'd always been civil to her though, not wanting to give away her secret and regardless of what Ruth thought of her, she had just lost her lover and would need support.

She finished the last of her coffee and rinsing the mug, left it in the sink. She left the house and was surprised to see Harry's car still outside. As she dragged her suitcase down the path, Harry wound down the passenger window and leant over to speak to her.

"What are you still doing here?" she asked.

"Let me drive you."

"Drive me? To Cheltenham?"

"Yes. I've had more sleep than you and function better when I'm tired," he reasoned.

"It's very kind of you to offer but it would mean you having to drive back again. It's a four hour round trip; it's ridiculous!"

"I'll get a hotel in Cheltenham."

"At two in the morning?"

"I've been a Spook for nearly 30 years; I'm nothing if not resourceful. Come on. A long lonely drive when you're feeling tired and emotional; it's not good Ruth. Chances are you'll end up in an accident too; and that's hardly what your family need now, is it?"

Ruth considered his words. "That's low Harry," she replied, opening the rear door to put her case in, "but I suppose you do have a point." That said, she got into the car and it sped off towards Cheltenham.

A/N: I think there's probably another chapter in this, if you guys are interested. I'm going to try and keep it canon – but that doesn't mean there won't be some interesting moments/introspection to come.