This is a parody of Pirates of the Caribbean. It's extremely funny. This first chapter is only an introduction and isn't as funny as the rest are going to be. Each chapter is a day and the next chapter will be Sunday just to make it nice and even, if you know what I mean. PLEASE REVIEW!! On to the story…
Jack and Will sat across from each other on Will's ship The Flying Dutchman. "I would be able to make Elizabeth fall for me first, for about a second, before you ya know. After all, she does love me…" Jack said, smirking at Will. They were apparently in the middle of an argument.
"Oh, really? That's exactly why she married me instead of you right? I could easily make her fall for me first. I am, after all, her husband." Will replied, rubbing it in Jack's face because he knew Jack hated the fact that Will was married to Elizabeth. "And just for the record, she doesn't love you." Will finished.
Jack quickly came up with a witty answer to reply with. "She must have been drunk to marry you. You are a eunuch after all. And just for the record, she does too love me. Why else would she start kissing me when the Kraken attacked me ship?" Jack replied with a smirk, then shuddered at the memory of jumping into the Kraken's mouth. Will saw him shudder and laughed.
"What's so funny?" Jack asked, offended for he knew why Will was laughing. "Nothing, nothing. I guess I shouldn't keep talking about the Kraken…" he purposely added in as he knew what the latter result would be. Jack shuddered again when he heard the word 'Kraken.' Will laughed again and Jack glared at him. William stopped laughing and decided to continue the argument instead.
"For the last time, Jack, I am NOT a eunuch!! She doesn't love you. She kissed you so she could leave you there to die." A smirking Will said, feeling his victory in the air.
Jack quickly tried to stay away from that subject, but still stay in the argument, as he was determined to win this one. "Doesn't matter why. Sparrow charm will bring her back, I know it." Said Sparrow himself. Will cocked an eyebrow. "Sparrow charm?" Jack nodded. Will shook his head. "You're too conceited for your own good, you know that?" Jack smiled. "Not my choice of words, but, yes."
"Anyways, 'sparrow charm' will not work. Elizabeth would rather go for her husband than a pirate that threatened her once upon a time."
"I rather hoped we were past me threatening her. Are you willing to bet on who gets to her first?" Will smiled. "Seeing as that I would win, yes."
Jack smirked. "We'll see about that. If I win, you live on The Black Pearl with me and be my slave for one week." Will countered Jack's attack on him. "If I win, it's vise versa on The Flying Dutchman with me as Captain, of course."
"Deal."
"Deal." They shook on it. They stared at each other for a few moments. "One…" Jack said. "Two…" Will followed. Jack paused, then shouted, "Three!!" They both got up from their seats and ran up the stairs to find dear Elizabeth. Jack found her first and wrapped his arm around the unsuspecting lady. "Hello darling, ye look lovely might I say."
"Jack, what are you doing?!" She noticed Jack's arm around her and pushed it off of her, taking Jack by surprise. "Jack, I know what you're trying to do, but I told you once before, I love Will. I married him and I only kissed you that one time so you would get eaten by the-" she stopped her sentence knowing Jack will shudder. She had more of a heart than Will did for poor Jack. Jack put a hand over his heart as if protecting it. "That hurt…" he said, mentioning Elizabeth's statement saying she wanted him to get killed.
Will walked over to the duo. "There you are my beautiful wife." He said as she friendly kissed him. Jack's heart sank and his face fell in defeat.
"ugh…" he groaned. Will noticed this and smirked. "Told you so. That's why she married me." Elizabeth knew what was going on. She had watched them as they were making the bet, but they didn't know that. Jack tried to hide his defeat. "Oh, well. Congratulations on winning. Now I'll be heading back to me ship if ye don't mind." Jack started walking away but, as if a reflex, William quickly grabbed Jack's shoulder and spun him around so that they were facing each other. Will's smirk grew.
"Not so fast, Jack. We made a deal, remember? You have to stay here on my ship, and be my personal servant for the entire week." He said, rubbing it in. Jack moaned. "Alright fine!!" he whined and purposely shuddered to shake Will's hand off his shoulder. Will laughed again.
"I was only doing that to get yer hand off of me." An angry Jack said. "I know Jack. It's still amusing." Will replied. Jack's eyes turned into tiny slits as he glared icily at Will. "Jack!" Elizabeth said and Jack's eyes widened at her. "What?" "STOP!!" she said. Jack gave up. He knew better than to be on Elizabeth's bad side.
Will turned to face Elizabeth. "Elizabeth, Jack and I-" Elizabeth cut him off when he started to explain what was going on. "I know. I saw you arguing." Jack's eyes went wide. "Ye knew about the bet and STILL didn't give in to me?!?!?!" Elizabeth gave him a disgusted look. Will broke their 'battle of the evil looks.' "Jack, meet me in my quarters to discuss the rules. " Jack groaned again. "Rules? There's rules? I don't like the sound of that…" Jack and Will leave.
The RulesJack sat in a chair across from Will, sitting in another chair, with a table in between them. "Okay, about these rules…?" Jack asked. Will had forgotten for a second then quickly remembered. "Oh, right. Rule number one, no rum."
Jack nearly screamed. "WHAT?!?!" he yelled instead. To him there was a difference. "No rum." Will repeated. Elizabeth came down the stairs just as Jack was about to say something. "I was curious about the rules. Pretend I'm not here. What did I miss?"
"No rum." Will said and Elizabeth nodded. Jack glared at him as he said the words. "I hate this already."
"I thought you would. That's why I picked it. Elizabeth, there's a chair next to me." Elizabeth sat down in the chair in between Jack and Will. "I'll make sure I'm invisible." She swore. Will laughed a little. Jack would have too if he wasn't so mad. Will cleared his throat. "Rule number 2, don't break the rules"
"What kind of pointless rule is that?!"
"I couldn't think of another rule…and there has to be more than one." Jack sighed at Will's comment. "Any more rules…?" he asked. "No, but I must tell you something. It's more like a threat than a rule." Jack gulped. "What is it…?" he asked then regretted it when Will showed him. He pulled out a pink frilly dress. Elizabeth and Jack looked at him weird. "If you break any of these rules, go back to your ship, or refuse to do something that I tell you to do, then you have to sail your ship in front of your crew in this." Elizabeth burst out laughing then stopped. "Sorry, I'm supposed to be invisible."
"It's okay, I know you couldn't resist. Jack, dress or bet?" Jack stared at him wide-eyed for a moment, then shouted in a reply, completely struck with fear, as you can tell in his voice. "I'LL DO ANYTHING YE SAY, I PROMISE!!!!!!!!!" He said clasping his hands together as a sign that he was in debt to Will. Will smiled. "Deal?" Jack was still stricken with fear. "Yes, yes! Deal! Deal!!" Jack said quickly. There was a silence for a moment, then Elizabeth spoke up. "I hope you don't mind me not being invisible, but I must say, I wouldn't be able to imaging the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow in a dress." She said. Jack thought about his crew's reactions if he had given in to Will and shuddered much to Will's amusement as he started laughing and Elizabeth looked intrigued. "Do that again!" She said, smiling. "Do what again?" Jack asked. "That thing before. After I starting talking about the dress. I think it was a shudder." She explained. Jack gave her a confused look. "Why would I want to do that again?"
"I like it, it's funny." She said, beginning to grow impatient.
"No." Jack replied stubbornly. "Yes!" Elizabeth demanded. "No! Besides, it's a reflex. I can't just shudder whenever I feel like it! Well, I can, but it wouldn't be the same thing." Jack said. Elizabeth thought for a moment, then smirked. "What?" Jack didn't like that look. "I think it was very heroic that day when the Kraken attacked." She said purposely, and much to her enjoyment, her goal was accomplished. Jack glared at her as she laughed. When she calmed down, Will began to speak. "Let's get started then. Give me your rum." Jack didn't hesitate, thinking about the dress but holding back a shudder due to their last conversation.
He put all of the rum he had on him on the table and handed it to Will. Will was surprised to see that Jack could fit twelve bottles of rum in his coat. Will took the rum and threw it out the window and into the sea. "You didn't have to waste all that rum….." Jack nearly cried. "Yes I did." Will said. Jack took one final reply, "This is going to be a Long week…."
Yay! First chap is finished! I know I put a lot of pointless stuff in there, but that is the whole reason for these kind of fics, isn't it? Anyways, Please review and hop you like the next chapter! Bye!
Signed,
Captain Chartman