Author's note: I've been playing with this idea for a while, and I finally got up the nerve to post it. Sodapop is dead in this story. I know he's a popular guy, but Hinton said she imagined him dying in Vietnam, and that idea just kind of "works" for me. I hope it's not too much of a turn off. I am eternally grateful to S.E Hinton, the genius behind The Outsiders, and to Cake, the amazing band that wrote Got to Move. The lyrics are meant to go with the whole story and not just the chapter.

You have always got to move.
You're always trying to prove that
There is something new in
Everything you do.

He stared down at his high school diploma and wondered if it was even worth the trouble. He'd always heard that graduating high school opened doors, but he had never felt more trapped.

Ponyboy Curtis had graduated high school a week ago, and he didn't have the satisfaction of walking across the stage with everyone else. He knew it was his own fault, but it was like the final nail in his coffin. He wasn't what he used to be. He wasn't Ponyboy Curtis the varsity track runner, the AP class student, the guy who was going to the University of Oklahoma on a full scholarship. He had turned into Ponyboy Curtis, that guy who lost one too many people and burned out because of it.

After Sodapop was killed in the war, Ponyboy went into almost a trancelike state. He felt like he was sitting outside of his body, watching everything that happened. He watched himself and Darry cry for almost two straight weeks. He watched everyone go to the funeral. He watched himself go back to school and start failing assignments, and he sat idly by as he isolated himself from all his school friends. The only time when he was truly aware of himself was when he woke up from the horrible nightmares that he still couldn't remember, and those were also the times when he wished he could sit outside himself again.

He tried to get himself together and go back to normal, but he knew he had changed. He had lost all of his motivation, and he only worked hard enough at school to keep from failing classes. He knew in the back of his mind that he wouldn't be going away to college after all. He remembered how scared he'd been when he told Darry, but somehow he understood. He called the university the next day and told them that Pony wasn't going. He got enrolled in a community college, but he didn't want to go. It was so far from what he wanted, and he only agreed to stay in school because he knew Darry would have a fit if he didn't.

He couldn't bring himself to go to graduation. Everyone knew how his story had ended, and he felt like a charity case. He was too embarrassed to show his face, so he went by the school and got his diploma from the guidance counselor the day after graduation instead.

Pony was still staring down at his diploma when Darry walked into the room.

"Still can't believe you made it, huh?" he asked.

"Guess that's one way to put it," Pony replied.

"You'll get yourself together," Darry said.

"I sure as hell hope so," Pony said.

Darry hadn't taken Sodapop's death well either, but he was able regroup and move on better than Pony. He immersed himself even more in his work, and any spare moments that he had left over were devoted to taking care of his brother. They had gotten closer and he was grateful for that, but he wished Sodapop could have seen it. He knew he would never be the same, but he was as close as he could get. If anything happened to Pony, though, he wouldn't last. Darry knew that if something went wrong, he could be the only surviving member of what was once a family of five. That thought kept him awake at night, even if he was exhausted from a hard day's work.

"You doin' anything tonight?" Darry asked.

Pony snorted, "am I ever?"

"They've got a Will Rogers double feature going on down at the Admiral Twin. You wanna see if Two-Bit wants to go? We can all go together," Darry said.

Pony hesitated. He was still a sucker for movies, but he just didn't know if he was up to leaving the house that night.

"We can even go to a drive through and get some food to smuggle in if you want. C'mon, you haven't done anything fun to celebrate graduation yet," Darry said.

"I guess Two-Bit could use a break from the baby," Pony said.

Darry reached for the phone. "I'll call him right now."

XXX

Two-Bit had been pretty down since Sodapop was killed and Steve came back from Vietnam with a heroin addiction, but that night he was in a good mood, and Ponyboy was glad that he came to the movie.

"So Two-Bit, how's your kid?" Darry asked.

Two-Bit had gotten his girlfriend pregnant right before Soda shipped out. After a month of being scared shitless, he decided to do the right thing and marry her. The baby came, a little girl who they named Amy. She was only five months old, but Two-Bit was convinced that she was a genius. He loved that kid more than anything.

"She is great. Man, I don't know where she gets it from, but Kathy will sit there and read her picture books, and this kid just stares at the pages and listens to her read like it's the most interesting thing in the world. She's smart, I can tell. She'll be just like her uncle Ponyboy when she grows up. Hell, maybe she'll even skip two grades."

Two-Bit laughed and Ponyboy tried his hardest not to cringe. He hoped that Two-Bit's kid wouldn't end up like him. He wouldn't have wished that for anyone.

The three friends ate the food that they had brought and watched the first picture. Pony was able to get lost in the movie like he used to, and he wasn't ready for it to be over once the credits started to roll. The screen went black, and the people who only came for the first movie started to leave.

"Ya'll ever see Steve any more?" Two-Bit asked.

Ponyboy felt his chest tighten, and Darry shook his head slowly.

"No. Not since a few weeks after he got back. Do you?" Darry asked.

"He came by the other day wanting money. I told him I didn't have any and that was the end of that. Kathy was scared. Thought he was some junkie who was gonna rob us until I told her it was just Steve," Two-Bit replied.

Darry sighed. "He's sick. Just don't know what to do to help him. He still with Evie?"

Two-Bit shook his head, and Pony noticed that the sadness had crept back into his eyes. "She left him. Couldn't take him using the drugs any more. I get why she did it, but that was the worst thing she could have done. It just pushed him further into the deep end."

Pony felt his chest tightening more, and he noticed that Darry also looked a little uneasy. Steve had turned into an almost taboo subject. It reminded all of them even more that things weren't how they used to be. The mood in the car had changed, and there was an unspoken understanding that no one wanted to sit through the second picture.

"I should probably get back to Kathy and the baby," Two-Bit said. "I can walk to my car if ya'll want to stay."

"No, we'll go," Darry replied. "It's getting late anyway."

They drove back to the Curtis's to get Two-Bit's car in silence.

XXX

"We need to do this more often. I've missed ya'll somethin' fierce," Two-Bit said.

Darry nodded, "we haven't seen enough of you lately, Two-Bit. Pony and I will come to your place sometime soon to see the baby or somethin'."

Two-Bit grinned. "Sounds good. I'll see ya'll soon."

Two-Bit got into his car and drove off. Pony felt Darry's hand on his shoulder.

"Gettin' late," Darry said. "We'd better get to bed."

Pony nodded and took out his pack of cigarettes. "You go on. I'll just be a minute."

Pony lit his cigarette, and Darry opened his mouth to speak, but Pony cut him off.

"They're no good and I'm gonna give myself cancer. I know, Dar, you've told me before."

Darry sighed and started toward the house. He wasn't in the mood to pick a fight, and Pony had been acting funny since Sodapop died. He didn't want to scare him off like he had a few years earlier. He would lose it if Pony ran away again.

Ponyboy heard the screen door slam as Darry went inside, and he took another long drag on his cigarette. Pony sank down onto the grass and stared out at the street through the chain-link fence, and for a minute, he felt like he was in jail. It was like he was looking at the outside world through a barred window and wishing he could be free. He sighed and put his cigarette out on the fence. The first things he saw once he got in the house were his high school diploma and his community college acceptance letter. His stomach turned in disgust.

Hell, maybe I am in a prison, he thought as he walked toward his bedroom.

He certainly did feel trapped, and there was no easy escape in sight.

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