Kissing Her Like Crazy

Andrella07

Disclaimer: I own nothing (except my own ingenious mind and a huge ego, both of which will do you no good if you sue me because my ego is so big that I only think I am a genius – true story).

Feedback: If you are generous with your reviews I just may turn it into a two-shot.

I'd like to thank my beta for beta-ing this – cantholdon. A totally and completely awesome person who is forced to read my stuff before I post because I hold a gun to her head…haha.

Ok a small introduction. Carlos is alive (for reasons that will become clear), Wesker was killed in the explosion (none of that 'he had time to jump out with a parachute' shit XD), and there was no horde of Ospreys ('cause I'm just too lazy to explain that away). I think that's pretty much all you need to know. However, I do want to say that this is a total sap-fest. I kid you not. Must be all that angst and evil from AWWH driving my sap-levels to the point where I was busting at the seams with it. Hence this adorable masterpiece. Haha.

How do I even feel right now? I guess I feel…betrayed. Thinking about what they're doing, what he's doing in my bed, with my…wife? Really it's the only word for what Claire is to me, but we're not married. Maybe she wants that. Maybe she really does want the whole package. Should I ask her? I'd have to find some rings, at least one for her. I wonder if K-mart could help. That girl finds more jewelry than a metal detector at a beached pirate shipwreck. And why do I have the feeling that K's already got rings picked out? I bet she's just been waiting for me to finally take the hint. God, I can be so dense. Claire would never ask, but how could she not want it?

I look around at the woods again. I'm supposed to be out hunting, but I can't be bothered to concentrate on staying alert, watching for game. Claire wasn't too happy about me leaving with a high-powered rifle, but I'm doing what I have to do. While she – stupid fucking law. I hate rules. Ok, I don't hate rules, but when I can't break them and Claire is so adamant to follow them, to follow this one, it just tears me up. Truly, it tears me up that I can't give her what she wants. Carlos can. It's bullshit.

The wind changes directions and suddenly my hunting spot is no good. My scent will be all over the place and I'll be fortunate to even see a rabbit now. My luck has turned to shit.

I survived the Hive, the apocalypse, I defeated Wesker as human, I took over an Umbrella ship and sailed all over the world to find survivors and bring them back here. Now it's my turn to settle and suddenly this place has a democracy and laws. It's to further mankind they said, to continue our race and make sure our species has the best possible chance for survival. That's why Claire is with Carlos right now, instead of me.

I sigh again, probably the millionth time that's happened in two minutes.

Claire is still having her period, mind you it's only four times a year, almost as if her body is compensating. I haven't cycled since being injected with the T-virus and that's damn fine with me. I thought that maybe it would return when I became human again, but it never did.

K will soon be up for the rule next, now that's she's past 18. Personally, I think that's a little young for her, but she actually found a match among the survivors that I approve of. Claire was – how do I put this? Against it from the start. The day K-mart brought Tristan home Claire looked ready to kill something. All my money, if money mattered, would've been on Claire taking that guy down in the first second he walked in our house. But she didn't, if anything she was overly polite to point of scaring the poor guy. Not me though. I don't know, K-mart's mature enough to handle herself, and honestly I really like him. In his other life he must've been some kind of sales rep 'cause I bought the bullshit he was selling at full price. He's older than her, but I can tell by the way he looks at K that he absolutely adores her. Claire sees it too; she's just less likely to admit it.

Really, I could've returned hours ago, but I just can't bring myself to start walking in the direction of our cabin. I decide to wait until it's dark out, then maybe I'll go back.

The stupid specialist, somehow our lowly attempt at reviving society was landed with a doctor who was an expert in conception, was wholly driven to give Claire all kinds of tips. He probably gave Carlos instruction too, but I wasn't there for his meeting. He was all about when the right time to try was, that she'd have to take in extra nutrients, what the signs of success were, but the second he started talking about the best positions to conceive – I was fucking out of there.

I never used to be a jealous person. Claire just brings it out of me. Poor Carlos, I say poor Carlos but I don't mean it. He was her first option, and if I'm honest with myself, he was my first option too. Probably the only one I would've let near her. When Claire approached him to ask, me glowering at her side, the guy was sweating under the collar so bad. It would've been funny had it been someone else asking him. He agreed, only after making sure I was ok with it and telling me steadfastly that he would only interfere like Uncles always do. How could I not say yes? Claire wants a child, it will make her happy and for that reason alone I never could deny her anything.

If he's anything but gentle with Claire…I swear to god – if there's one mark on her skin that I didn't make myself I'll kill him. No leniency on that whatsoever. I don't care that Carlos and I fought side by side for years, that we survived the Raccoon City nuking or our time in the desert. I don't care if he was just caught up in the moment. If there is one god damn hickey on her – I will murder him in his sleep.

My mind starts to dabble again in dangerous what ifs.

What if it looks like him? 'It' God, if Claire heard me talking like that she'd hit me. I shake my head in self-amusement. She's been nothing but excited over having a baby since I gave the go ahead. It's me who's not excited, who's not looking forward to the joy that children bring.

What if the first time doesn't take? What if he has to come back? Fuck, are we just going to share her, I'll drop her off every other weekend? Again I feel like I'm going to be sick. I already was sick, threw up the second I got out here 'cause all I could think of was the two of them together. I can't stand this.

What if she enjoys it? Yeah, I'm gonna be sick again. There's no avoiding it. My stomach is empty but I still manage a few good gags. I rub the back of my neck with some intent to massage away the anxiety. Even now, I can't help the fact that I'm thinking of Claire returning to the side of the straight, normal people. I was never one for labels. I liked Claire; she liked me – end of story. Oh, I hope that's still our story.

I decide to turn in. It's not dark yet, but I don't want to be alone anymore. I'm still not ready to go home however. I'll head to K's. I'm sure she'll be happy to see me. With the rifle slung over my shoulder I begin the trek to her new house. She moved in with that boy, man really.

I have a bit of a reputation in our town for never coming in from a hunt empty handed, but this time I'll have to make an exception. I don't think anyone will call me on it, not today. Word got out like wildfire that the famous Claire Redfield was going to try and have a child.

Me, I'm just the resident mysterious badass who's always seen at Claire's side. Ok, maybe I'm indulging my ego a bit, but I've earned it. Though very few people know my story and the role I played in humanity's downfall and its regeneration. And I'd rather keep it that way.

The guilt still gets me from time to time, but Claire's always there to hold me through my nightmares.

Only she can take the credit for starting this settlement. Claire was every bit the leader she was in the desert where I found her. She turned that leadership over to the first group we dropped off here after being out at sea for six months to pick up more survivors. There was a very brief discussion of Claire staying behind, but she refused. We stayed long enough to get everyone settled, and then we took back to the sea.

Chris stayed behind, so did K-mart. Claire and I, and our crew of volunteers set out again and again after returning with survivors. We did that for three long years and we weren't always successful. We found people less often as the time went on. Even so, groups started to come in on their own after hearing of a place up north that was free of infection.

By the time Claire and I decided to settle there were seven new towns nearby. I forget the last population count but it grows every season.

Of course the infection free thing was a lie, at least it was a lie until people took up arms and cleared out every undead they came across. Occasionally we still attract a random biohazard, but overall winter, isolation, and safety in numbers has kept us out of danger. Having an adequate supply of anti-virus on the Arcadia helped too, but it's limited. Hopefully we run out of undead to fight before we run out of anti-virus to administer.

Everyone greets me as I walk through town and I return their polite hellos with one of my own. That's just how it is at the end of the world. Everybody knows everybody on a first name basis because we've all shared border patrol or worked the fields when it's time to plant and harvest. I'm always just a little more quiet than most, but secretly I enjoy being in the company of others, so long as I can keep my hands busy.

I knock on K's door, and just like I predicted, she's thrilled to see me.

"Alice! Hi!"

She gives me a loving embrace and I return it.

"Hey, K-mart."

We both pull back, and I can tell by the look on her face that I'm about to be scolded for something.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Claire right now?"

Of course it would be for this. She knew what was happening today, and she isn't going to stop berating me until she's had her fill. I know it's only because she cares about Claire and me.

"Alice, get your ass back to Claire. She was already here worried sick about you."

I sigh. K-mart is right, naturally. I should be with Claire, but not until I get what I came for.

"Actually, I was hoping to talk to you about something first."

Ok, I'll admit that probably wasn't the right way to phrase it because K-mart is instantly in panic mode. She takes the gun from my shoulder, rushes me inside, and sits me down on the couch in the living room. It almost reminds me of waking up in that motel with K there to greet me. Except I'm not coming to from a psychic exertion induced coma and she isn't nervous-excited; she's nervous-fucked-the-freak-out.

"Alice, you can't be mad at Claire or Carlos for that matter."

I try to cut her off, but she's not stopping. "K-"

"Claire's beating herself up like crazy because she knows this is hurting you, but that's no reason to break up!"

Ok, I really need to stop her now, but what the hell is going to get her attention enough to make her shut up? She's still going at it as I think.

"Everybody has problems in their relationship-"

I've got it!

"I'm going to ask Claire to marry me."

That did the trick. Her mouth is still open, jaw nearly floored, but she isn't talking anymore. Not saying one damn word. I can tell I'm two seconds away from doubting my decision when she suddenly pounces on me. There are tears in her eyes as she wraps me in another hug and I can only hope they're tears of joy. She confirms it a moment later.

"Oh my God, I'm so happy!"

I smile as we part and she's back to rambling again. Typical K-mart.

"Then wait! Why are you here with me? You need to go home and ask her right now!"

"Slow down, K!"

She takes a breath and now I know I have her attention.

"I am going to ask her, I'm just missing some vital equipment."

K-mart raises an eyebrow and I suddenly see how my previous statement could be misconstrued. She laughs, but I'm fighting a blush as I clarify.

"Rings, K! I need rings."

Her eyes widen. "I've got just the thing!"

See, this is why I keep K in the loop. She books it out of the living room leaving me to tap my fingers nervously on my thigh. She doesn't make me wait long.

"Here."

K-mart holds out her hand and drops two rings into mine. I'm not even tempted to ask how she got them, I'm just fucking happy she has them.

"They're nothing fancy," she remarks, "but Claire will love it."

I smile as I look at both of the silver bands in my hand. They're beautiful. My throat is suddenly dry as I put the wide one on my ring finger, Claire will like the smaller one better. K-mart is almost as surprised as I am. It's a perfect fit. Now if only Claire's will fit just as well, but I'm getting ahead of myself – she has to say yes first. I take my ring off.

My heart jumps into my throat. I can't do this. I'd rather face hundreds of undead on a roof top with no way to get down except jump…oh wait, I did that already. I'd rather be pulverized by an axe-hammer – nope, did that too. I'd rather face Wesker and a mutated Dr. Isaacs, as a human, with no weapons but my bare fists, on top of a roof and let's make Wesker carry that axe-hammer. I can honestly say that is a lot less terrifying. K-mart has to be sensing my fear, but if not my next question makes it obvious.

"What if she says no?"

K-mart gives me a reassuring smile. "She won't."

My nervousness however, cannot be quelled so easily. I argue like a teenager, and it's like K and I have suddenly switched roles.

"But what if she does?"

"Alice-"

"I'm serious K, she could say no…"

"Alice," she's back to berating me. "Claire loves you. There's no way in Hell she will not marry you."

I take a really long breath, like ridiculously long, and K-mart takes it as a sign to begin a new discussion.

"How are you going to do it? Are you going to get down on one knee and profess that you can't live without her, and that she'd make you the happiest woman in the world if she'd marry you? Or-"

Oh God, this is going to drag on.

"You could call her the love of your life. Or say that you're soulmates!"

Sap overload.

"Are you going to take her somewhere romantic? You could go to the beach! Right at sunset."

K-mart puts a hand dramatically on her chest to take a breath so I interrupted her with a shrug.

"I was just gonna wing it."

Big mistake – mistake with a capital fucking M.

"Wing it? Are you insane? You can't just wing it! You have to prepare." K-mart tilts her head down in the kind of way someone does when they're giving you the most important directions of your life. "Get down on one knee, profess your undying love, ask her, and then wait for her to say yes. Which she will. Then you take her in your arms, and kiss her like crazy."

I can't help but laugh. "Thought about this a bit – haven't you, K?"

She lets out an exasperated breath.

"Thought about it? How could I not think about it with the way you two look at each other? It's like when she walks in a room you're always seeing her for the very first time."

That's good. Very good. I let her continue.

"It's like you look at her and the world doesn't matter anymore."

True.

"Like you can see eternity in her eyes."

And we're back to the sap.

"Thanks K, but I think I've got this."

I stand, shake the nerves out of my system by cracking my neck and rolling my shoulders, but they come back stronger than before. K-mart clenches a fist to psyche me up.

"You can do it!"

I can do it. K-mart is right; I've got this in the bag. I've got the rings, I've got me…oh God, is that all I have? I'm about to revert back to uncertainty, but K-mart takes my arm, hands me my rifle, and forces me out the door with a few parting words.

"Don't be a wimp, Alice. Just think about how much you love Claire, and do it."

I am not a wimp. I give her a standard death glare but she just smiles. I readjust the gun on my shoulder, fix my collar, and set off.

Our house is the furthest one from town, but we both like it that way. I take a breath as I enter and steel myself for whatever is about to greet me. There's nothing. The house is empty. That's actually a good thing right now. After being sick I desperately need to brush my teeth. I set down the rifle and walk to the bathroom. I look at my toothbrush. It's the blue one, right next to Claire's white one. It's stupid, but just seeing her damn toothbrush next to mine makes me smile. I need the reminders that Claire is still mine after what happened today. I brush a little overzealously, but I want to be thorough.

I head to the bedroom with apprehension, just in case Claire is there. I don't really want to see the bed. The specialist suggested it take place where Claire was most comfortable, and if that couldn't be in my arms – it would have to be in our bed. I'm being so selfish. She's probably way more upset than she let K-mart see. And I made her feel worse by avoiding her.

I sigh. I need to set things right, but first I have to find Claire. Where does she go when she's upset? The beach. I'll find her there, I'm sure. I exit the house and out of habit take a look at the sun. It's setting, what are the chances?

Claire's exactly where I thought she would be. Before she sees me I check the placement of what will hopefully be her ring. It's in my pocket, right where I put it. She's pacing on the beach, her feet are bare and being washed in the gentle waves. Her red hair is lifting in the wind, but her head is down. She's so beautiful, but in pain. Pain that I caused.

I won't let her suffer any longer. I'll march right to her, tell her that I'm not angry, and beg her to forgive me for being an idiot. I cut through the sand, wade right into the inch deep water, and almost startle her. But she still manages to start speaking before me.

"Alice, oh Alice – I'm so sorry. Don't be mad."

She's crying and I try to cut her off, but she's not having it. "Claire-"

"I'll never do it again. I don't care if this time didn't take or if I never have a child-"

What is it with the women in my life just rambling on? I interrupt her again by taking her hands in mine.

"Claire, listen to me. You have nothing to be sorry for. I was just being selfish and stupid, and I'm not mad at you. I'm sorry I can't give you a child, and I'm sorry I made you feel bad for trying to have one. I want nothing more than to raise a kid with you."

I'm kind of surprised at hearing that last sentence come out of my mouth, but that doesn't stop it from being true. I swallow my pride and prepare to surrender everything for her.

"Even if that means Carlos gets you every other weekend." God, that was difficult. I can tell she sees how hard it was for me. But I feel like I have to add a little something to end of that confession. "Until you're pregnant. Then that son-of-a-bitch is cut off."

She laughs through her tears, and I'll admit that I'm smiling too. I wipe the tears from her eyes, and I can tell this it.

This is the moment I propose. I thought I'd be more anxious, but somehow just looking at Claire makes every butterfly disappear. Here goes.

"I love you so much, Claire. It's like when you walk in the room I'm always seeing you for the first time." I use K-mart's words, is it cheating? Maybe, but it doesn't matter because I'm about to make it my own.

"I'm no saint, and I'm no hero-"

Claire's eyebrow rises. She's not buying it, but I continue anyway. If only K-mart could hear me now.

"But when I'm with you I feel like I can save the world – only because you saved me first. Turn me into the hero you're always telling me I am."

I keep hold of one of her hands and bend at the knee. Because K-mart will kill me if I don't. I wonder if Claire can see where this is going. I pull out the ring and meet her eyes.

"Marry me."

The wait is agony; absolute and utter torture. The wet sand is digging into my knee, the salt in the breeze is making my eyes water, I'm about ready to faint from lack of air, the ring is burning in my fingers until-

Her face lights up like the very sun that is setting in the water behind me. Not that I can see it, not that I'd want to see it if I could choose to look at Claire instead. She slips the silver ring on her finger and her smile grows tenfold. It's another perfect fit. It'll be a fucking miracle if I'm not smirking like a damn fool. But I can feel my smile and it's the epitome of idiotic grins.

I rise from my knee, and she jumps me. I laugh lightheartedly as I swing her around once. Now she's laughing too and it's music to my ears.

Claire's still smiling when she speaks. "I'm going to marry you."

It's like she can't believe it. I can't believe it either, but it's true. My mind goes back to K-mart. There's something else I'm supposed to be doing. Oh yeah.

Kissing her like crazy.

AWWWW! Right?