I'm here to tell you a story. When I was eight, my youngest brother was born. It was a happy time for our family, right before Christmas. He was a little early, but hey, that's life. However, a week before Christmas, he stopped breathing, around ten thirty at night. My parents rushed him to the hospital, because his whole face was blue. My little brother had officially died. I was at home with my other brothers (then twelve, nine and four), while my parents were at the hospital. We were left without a clue in the world- although he was blue and Mum was sobbing. However, the doctors had managed to resucitate him. He was in hospital for six weeks, connected to machines and tubes- both sets of our grandparents came down, and my parents spent Christmas in the hospital. Christmas 2002 was a bomb in our house- in some of the photos we looked close to tears.
Today, my brother's seven and one of the most active little kids I've ever seen. He plays soccer and swims, and the summer coming up he will be joining the local cricket club. I (and the rest of my family) couldn't imagine life without his cheeky grin and sweet giggle (of course, he can be irritating, but that's life).
But some kids aren't as lucky as my baby brother. This is the story of SIDS- Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I own nothing. The plot is entirely made up, and its AU, because I love baby Ruby Rafter. Read and review, please!
Love Rhyleigh xoxox
The day had started out like any other day. The sun rose, the birds sang, the family awoke, and coffee was made. Toast popped, as people shuffled in and out of the kitchen, unaware of the events that were going to take place that very same day.
"Nathan, pass the milk, please".
"Rachel, don't hog the cornflakes!"
"I'm not hogging the cornflakes!"
"How old are you, four?"
"Can someone please pass the milk?"
"Good morning!"
"Milk, please?"
"I have to get to work!"
"Nathan, you're a pig!"
However, the kitchen fell silent at the sound of the bloodcurdling scream coming from the master bedroom. "DAVE!"
Dave Rafter almost tripped over the table in the hurry to get to the bedroom he shared with his wife, Julie. "What's the matter?"
Julie Rafter was bent over the cot of their youngest daughter, tears running silently down her face. "It's Ruby!"
Dave peered over her shoulder, at the sleeping baby. Her pale face, the coolness at his touch was what sent alarm bells ringing in his head. "Call an ambulance!" he howled out.
In the kitchen, Rachel and Nathan Rafter, brother and sister, were almost killing each other to get to the phone. Sammy, Nathan's wife, reached between the two arguing siblings to grab the phone, yanking the handset away from them. Ted Taylor, the father of Julie and the grandfather of the noisy bunch, shuffled into the doorway of the master bedroom. "Jules-"
Julie was sobbing at the sight of her daughter, while Dave tried to comfort her.
"Not Ruby", Julie cried. "Not Ruby, oh God, please not Ruby! Not Ruby, not our Ruby!"
She was downright hysterical.
"Rachel, go and get Melissa", Nathan ordered, taking charge. He always had a calm head in an emergency, which was a trait Rachel admired about her brother. Of course, she'd never let him know that.
Rachel took off, still in her pyjamas, without a clue in the world what was going on. Without even bothering for an invitation, she barged into the house that her younger brother and sister in law shared with their best friend Carbo (real name Nick), finding them eating breakfast in the kitchen.
"Hey, Rachel's here!" Carbo cried, sounding surprised. Then he took a look at the clock. "Rachel, why are you here?"
"Its Mum", Rachel told Ben. "And Ruby".
Ben dropped his piece of toast and scurried after his sister, leaping over the back fence in a panic. Melissa, the nurse and the practical one in their relationship, took the front door.
"Melissa!" Dave shrieked, sighting his daughter in law. "Jules, luv, Melissa's here. She's a nurse, remember?" He yanked the girl into the bedroom, where Julie was still sobbing wordlessly next to the cot. "The ambulance is on its way, Mel".
Melissa looked up from the baby, her face pale. Being a nurse, she had seen things like this before, and it didn't get any easier. "Dave... Ruby, she's-"
She didn't even get a chance to finish her sentence.
"Oh my God..." Dave sunk down the wall, collapsing in a heap at the bottom. "Oh my God. Not Ruby, not our little girl".
Melissa felt her breakfast sitting in her throat. "I'm sorry".
In the kitchen, Sammy had gotten the gist of what had happened. Thoughts of milk abandoned, she sat there, staring at nothing. Nathan was in shock- shock that such a beautiful little baby could be snatched so cruelly from the world, before she had even begun to make an impact.
"Ruby's dead", Ben said flatly, his face pale, as Carbo opened the door. His mouth dropped open in absolute shock. Melissa took a seat beside her husband, her breakfast a lump in her throat. "It's not fair! Why Ruby? She was so little! Why our little sister?"
It was Rachel that broke down first. Tears streaming down her face, she let out an ear-splitting shriek. "It's not fair! She was only a baby!"
Ben wrapped his arms around his older sister, comforting her into silence. She cried into his shoulder, sobs racking her body. A tear slipped down Nathan's cheek, and he too joined the hug that was his older brother and sister.
"I'll let the ambos in", Ted murmured to himself, heading towards the front door. Opening it, he led the paramedics to where the little girl lay, peaceful- almost angelic. She looked like she was sleeping- but a mother's radar is always turned on. It was something Julie had said many, many times. And that morning, her mother's radar was telling her something was wrong.
If only she knew how very wrong it was.
"Sudden Infant Death Syndrome", Nathan said finally, putting the phone down. he was the most composed out of the six, and the one they had said should answer the phone. The group had just moved from the kitchen to the lounge room- they were in the same state they were when the paramedics had taken away their baby sister hours before.
"Was she in any pain?" Rachel whispered. The thought of her baby sister suffering was too much to even think about. Jake Barton, her boyfriend and a close friend of the Rafter family, tightened his grip around her.
"Kids with SIDS don't suffer", Melissa said. "Ruby wasn't in any pain, don't worry about that. She just stopped breathing".
Ben let out a breath he hadn't even known he'd been holding. The relief that his sister hadn't suffer was immense, like a weight being lifted from his chest. Of course, that weight was replaced by grief, the grief of losing someone so precious to him. "So, what's going to happen now?"
"The funeral", Ted spoke up. He had been quiet, but Ted was a quiet man. When his wife Louise, the grandmother of the Rafter children, had died, he had bottled everything up inside. That had almost led him to the end, and he found himself standing on the edge of a cliff. "Your parents are at the hospital sorting everything out. Chel and I were going to go there soon, to get them. Your mum needs rest".
Chel Warne, Dave's mother, nodded. "She needs her family around her".
Melissa agreed. "She'll need all the support she can get".
But, when Julie, Dave, Ted and Chel arrived home later that afternoon, Julie didn't want to speak to her children- biological or otherwise. She moved straight to her bedroom, shutting the door on her awaiting kids.
It was all it took for them not to break down again.
"Come on, we'll go back to our place", Ben said. So Jake, Rachel, Sammy, Nathan, Melissa, Carbo and himself left the house, parading into the neighbouring. Anyone passing would think that there was a circus in town- seven grown adults marching down the street, five out of the seven wearing pyjamas.
Melissa flicked the kettle on for cups of tea or coffee- it was what all of them needed at that point.
"Why Ruby?" Nathan wanted to know. "She was such a sweet little girl- I mean, she hardly cried!"
"She cried less than us three put together, Dad said", Ben remembered. "Was she sick?"
Melissa shook her head. "That's not what Ted and Chel said. Or the doctors. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome- it was a cot death".
Rachel just sighed heavily, tears pricking at the back of her eyes yet again. "But why Ruby? I mean, we barely knew her! She was so little!"
"It isn't fair", Carbo sniffed. As an only child, he had formed a sibling-like bond with all the Rafter kids- especially Ben. Ruby was like a little sister to him, he had loved the little girl with all his whole heart.
"I know, mate". Melissa wrapped her arms around Carbo's head and kissed the top of it soothingly.
"Why Ruby?" Sammy whispered.
It was Jake that saw sense. "Why any of them?"
"Jules, you need to come out", Dave told his wife that night. "You need to have something to eat; you need to see the kids. They need to see you".
Julie shook her head. "No".
"But Jules-"
"Ruby's gone, Dave, you have no idea how that feels. You didn't carry her inside you for eight months, you didn't feel her grow every day! You have no idea what it feels like, Dave!"
"You're not the only one who lost their daughter", Dave told her, wrapping his arms around his wife and placing a gentle kiss to her forehead. Julie allowed herself to cry, for the umpteenth time that day. Dave rocked her gently, murmuring soothing words.
They didn't know how long it would take to heal the hurt they had undergone. The loss of a child is something one never gets over.
"Save us spots up there, little sis", Ben said quietly, kissing the cool gravestone. It looked so small compared to all the others and they knew the tiny coffin inside was nowhere near the size of others. "I love you, Ruby".
Melissa took her husband's hand, as she too, paid her respects to the sister in law she'd never get the chance to watch grow up. "Love you, Ruby. Watch out for us, okay?"
Nathan pressed a kiss to the rock, reading the inscription.
Ruby Louise Rafter
December 20th 2010-February 2nd 2011
Our little angel
"I love you, baby sis", he said quietly, tears pricking the back of his eyes. "We all do".
Sammy held back tears as she read the inscription. Ruby didn't deserve to die; she was so young and innocent. Ruby Rafter hadn't even known her family before she was so cruelly snatched from their lives. "Love you, Rubes. Look out for us, sweetie".
Rachel's throat was thick with emotion as she kissed the gravestone, remembering the last time she was at the cemetery. "Stay with Nan, okay Ruby? She'll look after you, she'll look after you. She didn't do too bad of a job with us. I love you, baby sis. Don't forget that".
After Jake and Carbo said their goodbyes, it was Julie and Dave's turn. Chel and Ted and family friends had already paid their respects to the beloved little girl, the angel who had touched everyone's heart.
"Goodbye, my darling", Julie whispered, kissing the cool rock of the headstone. "We'll never forget you, my beautiful angel. I love you, sweetheart".
"We love you, Ruby", Dave said, getting choked up himself. "Keep an eye out for us, watch out for us. I love you, baby girl, so much. I'll never forget you, my precious little gem. Goodbye, darling".
It was after the Rafter parents had stepped away from the grave that they lost it. Sammy, Melissa and Rachel all had tears streaming down their faces, while sobs racked Julie's whole body. She collapsed into Dave's arms, her chest heaving with the deep breaths she was taking. Ben and Nathan were silently crying and comforting their wives, while Jake whispered sweet nothings to Rachel, trying to calm it down.
The little grave was what had done it. why had their little girl been taken from them? She should have been growing up, and running around, just like what her sister and brothers had done when they were children. They should have seen her start school, they should have all cried at her graduation. Ruby Rafter should have been able to bring boys home, to find the right one to start a family with.
But she couldn't.
The eleven of them had formed a circle, latching their hands together. Rachel's in Jake's, Jake's in Sammy's, Sammy's in Carbo's, Carbo's in Melissa's, Melissa's in Nathan's, Nathan's in Chel's, Chel's in Ted's, Ted's in Dave's, Dave's in Julie's, Julie's in Ben's, bringing to the circle to an end with Ben holding the hand of his older sister.
It was Rachel that started singing first.
"Would you know my name", she sang softly, if afraid to ruin the moment with the lyrics. "If I saw you in heaven?" Her soft soprano drifted around, her family members' catching on.
"Will it be the same", Ben's deeper, alto voice joined in. "If I saw you in heaven?"
"I must be strong", Julie's gentle voice wavered as she joined in her singing children. "And carry on".
"Because I know, I don't belong, here in heaven". Dave's usually strong, booming voice was quieter, as he sang with his family.
Soon Chel, Jake, Sammy, Melissa, Nathan and Carbo had joined in, as they sang to remember the life of the little sister, daughter or granddaughter they had loved. The little girl who had touched all of their hearts, in so many different ways.
"I must be strong, and carry on. Because I know, I don't belong, here in heaven".
By the end of the song, everyone had tears in their eyes, as memories of little Ruby flooded their heads and their hearts.
But they knew, that somewhere, Ruby Rafter was smiling down at them. Their guardian angel.