Close Enough
Authors Note: Well, the BR fandom seems almost dead other than some new student stories, but I'm still super excited to be a part of it! In this I mixed details from the manga and the book. I personally prefer the book, but some magnga details just worked better here. Also, I can't believe there aren't more ShinjixYutaka fics. I've only found one :( Seriously, when I was reading Battle Royale I was already thinking about the fanfiction I would write and I thought that there'd be more. Oh, well. Anyway, please read on and let me know what you think!
Shinji and Yutaka were at Yutaka's house playing a videogame that focused on killing aliens. It was a team game so no one was winning, but Shinji had more points- not that he would mention that.
Shinji was lying down on the smaller teen's bed as pressed buttons easily. Yutaka, on the other hand, was sitting as close to the TV as possible, a look of intense concentration on his face.
"Left side, Midget." Shinji says as an enormous amount of aliens come onto the left side of the screen.
Yutaka doesn't answer him, but he starts attacking the aliens on the left side. Shinji takes that as Yutaka saying he is in the zone.
The boys kept playing for a few more minutes, Yutaka getting more worked up as they went. He didn't say anything, but Shinji could tell by his spastic body movements. Watching Yutaka when they were about to lose a game was always the most amusing part.
"We're dying Midget." Shinji says as he sits up on the bed. Yutaka stays quiet.
"We're going down." Shinji says as the aliens begin to overpower them. Yutaka's movements become even more spastic.
"Oh man, it's all over-" Shinji starts, but Yutaka cuts him off.
"Shut up, Mim!" Yutaka finally yells. Shinji snickers.
A few seconds later the boys are overpowered and the screen flashes a giant green 'Game Over' message.
Yutaka sighs as he turns off the game. He then turns and looks at Shinji, who is grinning at him. He looks like he's about to chastise Shinji for his comments, but upon seeing his smile he can't help but smile too.
"You suck." Yutaka says with a smile as he moves to sit beside Shinji on the bed.
"Well, I get sucked, but I don't-" He's silenced when Yutaka gives him a light shove.
"Perve." Yutaka says, but he doesn't really think so. Well, he does, but it doesn't bother him. Shinji really pulls off being a pervert.
"You'll understand when it happens to you." Shinji says with a lewd smile.
The comment immediately leads to a sigh from Yutaka. Shinji's smile immediately turns to a look of concern.
"What's up Little Man?" Shinji asks as he puts his arms on his knees.
"Can I tell you something?" Yutaka asks as he rubs his neck.
"Yeah, of course." Shinji worries where the conversation is going. He has a feeling Yutaka is going to talk about Fumiyo, the girl Yutaka's had a crush on for quite a few months.
Shinji knows Yutaka thinks he's an expert on girls, and to a point The Third Man couldn't agree more. He is great at getting girls to like him. He's great at kissing them, and touching them, and even having sex with them.
But he's not good at feeling things for them. He's never felt about a girl the way Yutaka has. In that aspect Yutaka is way ahead of him.
Of course he'd hate to admit that. He'd be embarrassed to.
All of his friends have been hung up on girls the same way that Yutaka is. Shuya is still trying to get over Kazumi Shintani, Hiroki is obsessed with Kayoko and has Takako on the side, and Nobu's crush on Noriko couldn't get any more obvious.
But Shinji has just never felt like that. He's liked plenty of girls physically, but mentally he couldn't care less. A girl was a girl, and he'd never met one that made him feel any differently.
"Fumiyo and I have been talking lately." Yutaka says. He sounds sad, but Shinji can't figure out why. He thought that'd be a good thing.
"When did that start happening?" Shinji asks as he lightly nudges Yutaka's shoulder. He's hoping that talking about her will cheer him up. A sad Yutaka can be pretty pathetic.
"Remember when I got hurt in gym class a couple weeks ago?" Yutaka asks.
Shinji did. They had been playing soccer and Niidahad knocked him down pretty hard. He said it was an accident, but it was hard to tell. Niida'splay would've been easy to get away with in an actual soccer game, but in gym class it was unnecessary. Yutaka was pretty bad at soccer and most sports in general.
"Hard to forget. You made a pretty nice thumping sound against the floor." Shinji says with a weak smile.
"Well,Mayumi was sick that day so Fumiyohad taken over as the nurse's aid. She kept me company while I was in there. We really hit it off and we even went and got ice cream the other day." Yutaka says and his tone seems to have a dreamy air to it.
"Way to keep a secret buddy!" Shinji yells, although he's not really mad.
"Yeah, sorry." Yutaka says with a slight blush.
"No worries Little Man. But I'm kinda missing the problem." Well, there was that Shinji thought she was kind of ugly, but he'd never tell Yutaka that. Besides, Yutaka seemed to think she was special, so that was good enough for him.
"I think if I asked her out she'd say yes," Yutaka says and his tone once again sounds gloomy. Shinji raises an eyebrow. He's still not seeing a problem. "It's just- I've never dated anyone before."
And finally Shinji saw why Yutaka was upset. And he thought it was kind of stupid to be honest.
"Ah, come on Midget! Don't let that get you down. For every new experience you have to do something for the first time. That's the trade off." Shinji explains, but he can see that his pep talk isn't helping.
"She's just so good at stuff like this." Shinji has to raise a brow at that too. Since when? As far as he knew she wasn't exactly an experienced dater. He tried not to look like that's what he was thinking. Luckily Yutaka started talking again before he attempted to speak his mind in a polite way.
"I mean, she doesn't get nervous at all when she was talking to me, and I always feel like a wreck. She's fun, but she's so calm and comfortable, and I feel like I'm never gonna be like that. I just feel like I've finally got a chance with her, and now I'm gonna screw it up." Yutaka says before putting his head in his hands.
"No you're not," Shinji says putting an arm around his small friends shoulder. "If she says yes then she obviously likes you regardless. Heck, she's probably really flattered that you're so nervous around her. Besides, you're practically built to keep a chick happy. You're just psyching yourself out."
"I've never even kissed a girl." The tone of Yutaka's voice says that this is what the whole conversation was building up too.
"So what? Buddy, it's not hard. Besides, she probably won't know the difference." Shinji says with a smile.
Shinji's not good with feelings, but he's great at kissing.
"Yes she will." Yutaka says looking up at Shinji.
Shinji hates that look. Yutaka has reaches pathetic level: Puppy. Yutaka is looking up at him with his big brown eyes and it just makes Shinji think of the way puppies look up at someone when they realize that they are being left alone.
"No she won't. If she hasn't kissed anyone then she won't have anyone-"
"She has." Yutaka whines as he throws up his hands.
Well, Shinji hadn't expected that.
"Oh." Shinji says trying to take a moment to think of how to respond.
"She said that there had been this guy at a summer camp she went to last year. She said she'd only told a few friends, but apparently they were pretty close." Yutaka tells Shinji sadly.
Now Shinji does feel for him. It's not that he actually thinks that it's that big of a deal, but he knows Yutaka. He knows the shorter teen has more self esteem issues than he should. The idea of being compared to someone else is probably really hurting him.
"You still shouldn't worry about it. That guy might've been a horrible kisser. Besides, if she likes you it won't matter if you're bad at it. And you probably won't be that bad at it. Kiss her a couple times and you'll be an expert." Shinji doesn't necessarily believe what he's saying; he's kissed some girls that never seemed to get it. But he hopes that Yutaka would catch on.
"Shinji, you've told me about girls you've kissed. What if I end up like one of the bad ones? What if she's willing to deal with it for a little while and then realizes that she can do better?" Yutaka asks. Shinji thinks Yutaka is getting closer to the danger level. Danger level involves tears. Shinji hates tears.
"Just tell her to be honest about things. Admit that you're new to it and want to make sure she's happy." Shinji says hoping that it'll help.
"That's so lame." Yutaka retorts. Shinji agrees, but he won't say so.
"No it's not. It's just being honest." Shinji says with a shrug.
"Would you ever say that? Ya know, if it were true," Yutaka asks. He doesn't need an answer though; the look on Shinji's face is enough. "Exactly."
Yutaka looks sad, but he seems stable enough that he won't cry. Shinji's thankful. He's seen Yutaka cry before, but he doesn't like it. In fact in ranks up in his top five least favorite things.
"Look, you're jumping the gun on this. Don't stress yourself out. You think she'll say yes, so focus on that. That's awesome." Shinji says trying to get Yutaka to think about the positive.
"Every time I think about that, I think about this. I'm doomed Shinji." Yutaka sounded defeated. Sadly Shinji did not except defeat.
It took a second for Shinji to decide what to do. And even after he decided he wanted to talk himself out of it. But Yutaka was his best friend, even if he'd never said those words exactly, and sometimes as a friend a guy just had to suck it up.
"You could always practice." Shinji says nonchalantly.
"How?" Yutaka asks, still sulking.
"Kiss someone else." Shinji says with a shrug. He's already embarrassed to be having this conversation, but he knows it's the right thing to do.
"How is that going to help me? And who would I even kiss?" Yutaka sounds exasperated and Shinji considers dropping it, but he's The Third Man and that's just not his style.
"You could practice kissing someone who wouldn't tell anyone. That way you'd get good at kissing and you wouldn't have to worry about Fumiyo being disappointed." Shinji says, wondering if Yutaka would find this to be a more suitable plan.
"Yeah, but who would I practice with? I don't exactly have a line of girls waiting to stick their tongues in my mouth," Yutaka reminds Shinji, who snickers in reply. "You know it's true."
"No, I suppose you don't. But other than that small detail, do you think it's a good idea?" Shinji asks. He's not going to bother speaking his mind if Yutaka doesn't need him too.
"I wouldn't call it a small detail, Mim. But yeah. If there was someone I could trust to practice with I'd go for it." Yutaka says with the impression that nothing was going to come from Shinji's idea.
But he really should have known better. After all, it's a known fact that Shinji Mimura is always two steps ahead of everyone else.
"Well, you may be in luck then. You do happen to know an expert." Shinji says, hoping that Yutaka understands what he's getting at without him actually having to come out and say it.
"Huh? Who do I… Oh." Yutaka says as he looks up at Shinji. The look on his face says that he thinks Shinji may have finally lost it.
Shinji shrugs as though the suggestion of Yutaka practicing kissing with him is no big deal. Based on his looks Shinji could just as easily be talking about the weather.
"You have a problem and I'm offering you a solution since none of my other suggestions have been up to par." Shinji says it calmly, but a part of him wants to say, 'You're the one whining. I'm offering to help, so nut up or shut up.' But he knows that copping an attitude won't help. Plus he really is just trying to help, even if it is slightly embarrassing.
"Are you serious?" Yutaka's face is slightly red and his voice sounds nervous.
He understands why Yutaka has to question it. For one, it's not every day that your best friend of the same gender suggests that you two kiss. For two, Shinji's the straightest guy that Yutaka's ever met. And of course three, in the great empire of the Republic of Greater East Asiahomosexuality is illegal. Not that anyone cares too much. Sho's never had to hide it a day in his life.
"As a heart attack. It's just you and me, neither of us would ever tell anyone. You could stop worrying about what'll happen with Fumiyo, and I can get my best friend in the universe award." Shinji says easily.
Yutaka sits silently for awhile, looking at his feet. Shinji could tell by the look on his face that he was considering it. Finally he looks up from the ground.
"And you're seriously okay with doing this?" Yutaka sounds hesitant at best.
"…I really hate seeing you sad Midget." Shinji says with a small smile.
Shinji's not one to talk about his feelings, but it's always been easier to do when Yutaka's around. Yutaka's just such a genuine person. He makes Shinji feel like he can share the parts of his life that make him feel embarrassed, or worried. He makes Shinji feel like he can open up about things that he'd normally just keep to himself.
Shinji doesn't have intimate conversations with his friends about his personal feelings; he just doesn't. Heck, most guys don't. But when he's with Yutaka the window of things he can't talk about seems to get smaller.
He's been friends with Yutaka twice as long as he has anyone else. Yutaka was really the first best friend that he'd ever had. When he was younger Shinji had a hard time making emotional attachments with people. He had plenty of friends, but none that he felt were truly important. All of the friends he had could have easily been replaced. They were just guys that were fun to hang out with; he didn't have any real connection with them. He'd never really gone out of his way to make any.
But then Yutaka had come along. Sensitive Yutaka, who stood up for puppies and pissed on bad guys. He wasn't a guy to just play basketball with, or shoot the breeze. Shinji could talk to him. He was the kind of guy who wore his heart on his sleeve and would do anything to help a guy out. He was kind and genuine, not to mention funny as hell. Shinji liked being around him and he became attached to the smaller boy before either of them knew it.
Yutaka made him better in a sense. He sure didn't have any real friends before him. Yutaka's ability to open up was one of the reasons they had been friends for so long. Plenty of guys could play basketball, but Shinji had never found anyone that he trusted like he did Yutaka.
So even though kissing another guy seemed like a really weird and potentially bad idea, he was more than willing.
"Thanks, Mim." Yutaka says softly and Shinji can hear the sincerity in it.
"No problem."
For a few seconds neither boy does anything, but then Yutaka begins to fidget and Shinji starts to break out into a grin.
"So, how do we do this exactly?" Yutaka asks as he calms his body.
"Hmm, well," Shinji starts as he gets off Yutaka's bed. He moves so that he is sitting on his knees on the floor directly in front of Yutaka. He looks like he is comparing heights before he mutters, "Close enough. I think this is close to the height difference you and Fumiyowill have."
Sitting on his knees, Shinji is slightly shorter than Yutaka. He figures he should make this kissing lesson as realistic as possible. Well, not too realistic, but he figures he can let Yutaka have the height advantage. He's pretty sure Fumiyo is practically the same height as Yutaka, but he can only get so close to accurate. After all, he and Yutaka had quite a large height difference.
"Give or take." Yutaka agrees, the look on his face is still hesitant.
"You sure you wanna do this Little Man?" Shinji wants to help Yutaka, but he still thinks that Yutaka would be just fine kissing Fumiyo. Plus, this would be Yutaka's first kiss. Shinji hadn't given a crap about his first kiss, but that didn't mean that Yutaka didn't.
"Yeah, I just have no idea what I'm supposed to do." Yutaka admits. Shinji can see that Yutaka's already frustrated.
"That's why I'm here to guide you. Just do what I say and you'll be an expert in no time," he says with a wink. Yutaka snorts.
Shinji lets Yutaka finish laughing before he speaks again. "There's no un-weird way to initiate this, so you're just gonna have to lean in with me. If she initiates the kiss just make sure you lean the opposite way, you don't want the awkward 'which way am I going' moment." Shinji explains. Yutaka nods.
Shinji starts moving closer and after a second Yutaka follows suite. Yutaka leans his head slightly farther to the right than he needs to, but Shinji doesn't mention it. Knowing they're about to kiss is awkward enough without having to stop and start again.
Right before they're about to kiss Yutaka freezes. Shinji knows it's weird. He also knows that one of them needs to power through. Shinji ignores Yutaka's halt and moves the last few centimeters to connect their lips.
As soon as they're kissing Shinji decides that weird really isn't the right word to describe the feeling. If anything it's just funny. Shinji feels goofy with his lips pressed firmly against Yutaka's. It's not too surprising. Who would've thought this was where their day was going? Really the whole thing was pretty ridiculous.
Shinji pulls away a few seconds later with an amused smile on his face. "See? That was easy. You were just fine."
"And if that's what I was worried about I would've practiced kissing my grandma." Yutaka says, although by the end of his sentence he's smiling too. He's not sure if it's because of the awkwardness of the kiss, or because he just told a joke.
"Alright, alright. That was just lesson one, and you passed. You don't need to tilt your head that much, but no complaints." Shinji says with his hands up in surrender. "Now, it's time for lesson two young grasshopper."
"Am I learning to kiss or becoming a ninja?" Yutaka asks poking fun at Shinji's nickname.
"Just kissing. If you want to become a ninja you'll have to kiss Hiroki." Mimura says with a sly grin.
"Nah, I think kissing you is more than enough." Yutaka laughs, the idea of kissing Hiroki tremendously worse than kissing Mim.
Shinji smiles before he readjusts his legs. He's not really sitting in the most comfortable position.
"Alright, lesson two. Let's see how you are when there are tongues involved." Shinji says as he runs a hand through his spiky blonde hair.
"This is so weird." Yutaka says as he gives his body a small shake.
"No shit." Shinji says with a smile.
They lean in once again to kiss, this time without Yutaka freezing at the last second. Their lips are only touching for a few seconds when Yutaka runs his tongue into Shinji's mouth.
Yutaka moved faster than Shinji had anticipated, but he tried to roll with it. 'Tried' being the key word. The kiss was, well, for lack of a better word, bad.
Yutaka hadn't made a move to let Shinji know his tongue was going to go into his mouth, and things just kept going downhill from there. Yutaka had no idea what he was doing, that was becoming apparent to Shinji. Yutaka's tongue was much deeper in his mouth than it needed to be, and his lips were open too wide.
Things were getting way wetter than they needed to be, and Shinji did not mean that in a good way.
Shinji tried to push Yutaka's tongue away from his throat, but Yutaka didn't seem to understand his motives. Shinji did his best to salvage the kiss, but it was, in all honesty, the worst kiss he'd ever experienced.
Part of him was horrified that it was so bad. Part of him was amused.
The amused part was the one that wasn't being choked and slobbered on.
Shinji finally decided that he needed to pull away and give ample instruction. There was no saving that kiss.
After he pulled he took a second to look at Yutaka. Yutaka looked like he wanted to speak, so Shinji let him.
"Was it bad?" Shinji had a hard time trying to keep his facial expression neutral.
"Uh, you could use a few pointers." Shinji says in the gentlest way he can based on the situation.
"It was really bad, wasn't it?" Yutaka asks in a whine.
Shinji wants to nod his head. It was bad. But on the plus side he definitely won't regret helping Yutaka. Shinji couldn't imagine how embarrassing is would be to kiss a girl that badly and have other people find out. He was practically saving Yutaka's life.
"That's what we're here to fix, right?" Shinji asks smiling in a way that told Yutaka he really didn't want to answer the question truthfully.
Yutaka put his face in his hands in reply and grunted.
"Come on, Yutaka, don't be like that. It wasn't that bad," It totally was. "I mean, you're teachable." Shinji hoped.
Yutaka looks back up at Shinji, but he doesn't say anything.
"Okay, first thing, you don't need your mouth open that much. Having it open like that just makes things really slobbery. Open up enough for your tongue and widen for hers." Shinji instructs.
"Okay." Yutaka says with a nod.
"Next, you need to watch what you do with your tongue Little Man. You were kinda choking me. You don't need to shove your tongue as far back as possible in her mouth. Midway's good."
"Sorry." Yutaka says with an embarrassed smile.
"It's fine. I guess it's better me than Fumiyo, right?" Shinji asks. "Now, let's try this again."
Shinji meets Yutaka at the midpoint between them. If nothing else kissing each other is getting less awkward. Shinji can tell that Yutaka is trying to do as he was told. He's still not quite getting it, but it's better.
Yutaka is kissing him so hesitantly that he almost laughs. It figures that Yutaka would go from one extreme to the other. Shinji tries to coax Yutaka to move the way he wants him, but he remains hesitant.
Shinji opens his eyes for a second, about to pull away when he notices Yutaka staring at him. It only takes a second for Shinji to pull away laughing.
"What?" Yutaka asks, his tone worried.
"Man," Shinji says still laughing a bit. "Don't stare at me. It's so creepy."
Yutaka's face goes red. "Sorry."
"It's cool. I mean I know eyes closed is a little more intimate, but I can't kiss you when I know you're staring at me." Shinji explains.
"Sorry, I was just trying to, I don't know, gage your reaction or something." Yutaka explains.
"Nah, I get it. Just, if you wanna check, be subtle. No one likes to be stared at while they're kissing." Shinji clarifies.
"Yeah, okay," Yutaka says with a nervous laugh. "What about other than that?"
"Well… It was better than before. You're just being too timid now. Balance is key here, Midget." Shinji says putting a hand on Yutaka's shoulder.
"I'm never gonna get it." Yutaka says sounding defeated.
Shinji feels bad. This was supposed to help Yutaka, not crush what little confidence he had. It took a second, but Shinji had an idea.
Shinji got up from his spot on the floor and moved to sit beside Yutaka.
"Alright, Yutaka, let's try something else. I've been letting you lead. How about I take the lead this time and you pay attention to what I do?" Shinji suggests. He figures that maybe if he shows Yutaka what to do instead of telling him and trying to coax it out of him, things will go better.
"Um, okay." Yutaka says facing his body toward Shinji's.
"Alright, just follow my lead." Shinji then leans into meet Yutaka's lips once again.
Shinji licks gently into Yutaka's mouth, making sure Yutaka knows what he wants. Once Yutaka has opened his mouth Shinji rubs his tongue against Yutaka's. Yutaka had been more focused on exploring Shinji's mouth than allowing their tongues to rub together.
Shinji tilts his head a little more to be at a better angle with Yutaka. As Yutaka starts to attempt to mimic what Shinji is doing, the taller teen begins to move slightly more aggressively. He's controlled with his actions, but it makes the kiss more enjoyable.
Shinji thinks that Yutaka is doing much better now that he has taken charge. The kiss is actually kind of nice. He still has that goofy feeling, but it's starting to feel good kissing Yutaka.
The smaller boy is paying attention to what Shinji does and then trying to do similar actions. It's a lot easier now that Shinji is making it clear that he's in control. Maybe Yutaka just didn't do well with being in charge. Shinji actually thinks that makes sense.
He keeps the kiss going for a little while longer. He wants to make sure Yutaka gets it.
Plus it's pretty nice.
When Shinji pulls away Yutaka sucks in a big breath.
"Sorry, Little Man," Shinji says with a laugh. "I didn't mean to suffocate you."
"N-no. Um, it's okay," The combination of smile and blush on his face when he says it makes Shinji thinks that maybe it's a little more than okay. "It was good."
No surprise there. Shinji is awesome. Plus even Shinji thought it was good.
"Now, the question is, can you do it?" Shinji asks as he moves back to his spot on the floor.
"Uh, probably not like that." Yutaka replies honestly.
"Aw, come on. Wow me." Shinji says with a wink. It immediately makes Yutaka smile.
"Yeah, okay. I'll be sure to blow your freaking mind." Yutaka says with a grin.
"Well, you could blow my mind, or-" Yutaka cuts off Shinji's lewd comment with a kiss.
Shinji laughs against him. He thinks Yutaka laughs a little too.
They kiss for a few seconds before Shinji feels Yutaka's tongue against his lips. Shinji opens his mouth, once again allowing Yutaka entrance.
The kiss is much better this time. It's not too wet and Yutaka's tongue isn't being too invasive. It's still a little hesitant though.
Shinji speaks against Yutaka's lips instead of pulling away. "Stop being…so…fucking cautious."
"Shut up." Yutaka demands before he begins to kiss more confidently.
Shinji feels a tingle go down his spine from the demand.
Nice touch.
The two teens kiss eagerly after that. Shinji knows he could probably tell Yutaka that he's got it, but he doesn't really think it's necessary. Instead he wraps his arms around Yutaka.
It's weird to him because of the positioning of Yutaka being taller, but it adds to the goofy feeling that he's really beginning to like.
"What do I-" Yutaka starts to ask as he pulls away.
Shinji doesn't let him finish as he pulls Yutaka back to him. He then moves Yutaka's hands. He knows that's what he was going to ask. He puts one on his mid-back and puts the other behind his head. He feels Yutaka wrap his hand in his hair and has to choke back a grunt.
"Can move 'em around," Shinji says as the kiss gets a little more heated. "Whatever."
Yutaka hums into his mouth, telling Mim that he's listening. Shinji likes the feeling.
The kissing gets more heated as they keep going. Yutaka ends up with both hands in Shinji's gelled hair, pushing his lips harder against his own. Shinji has arms wrapped around Yutaka's neck. He'd like nothing more than to allow them to slide down to Yutaka's back, perhaps slide his hands down to grab his ass. But Shinji is a man of control and he severely doubts that Fumiyo will be grabbing Yutaka's butt anytime soon.
Still, he wouldn't mind doing it.
He should probably pull away before he does.
They end up separating to breathe, probably the third time they've done so, when Shinji holds Yutaka back.
Both of the boys are breathing harder than normal and there are smiles on their faces.
"My mind's blown." Shinji says with a grin.
"Good, because I feel a little light headed." Yutaka jokes.
Then there's a moment between them. Shinji knows it's a sexually charged moment. He could probably tackle Yutaka onto the bed and kiss him again. He could probably get away with putting his hands wherever he wanted.
But that's not his style.
"Are we still going to see that movie?" Shinji asks instead. That had actually been what they planned on doing that evening.
"Oh, uh, yeah." Yutaka says, his head immediately cleared and the sexual energy in the room dispersed.
"Well it's almost seven, so we should probably book it if we plan on seeing the previews." Shinji says as he stands up and stretches. His shirt rides up a bit, but Yutaka doesn't notice.
"Okay, let me grab my wallet." Yutaka says as he gets up to walks across his room.
Shinji smiles as he watches him walk across the room. Once Yutaka has his wallet the two boys head out of the room.
"So, we're-" Yutaka starts, but Shinji pats him on the back.
"We're normal, same as always." Shinji say reassuringly to his worried sounding friend.
But he knows that's kind of a lie.
"Good." Yutaka says with a sigh of relief.
Maybe Yutaka feels the same as always, but he doesn't.
Shinji doesn't feel connections with girls. He hates most of them without even having a reason why. Girls grate on his nerves. He likes the way they look and feel, but he doesn't think he'll ever like them. It's served as a conundrum.
His uncle always told him to find a nice girl, thaw out his heart and fall in love. It's not a bad thing to love and be loved in return.
Shinji's been trying to figure out how to make the two issues work together. He may have just cracked the code.
He doesn't like girls on instinct, maybe it's his disdain for his own mother, but he's not sure. He likes most guys though. He may not want to make connections with them, but he likes them well enough.
He hadn't planned on kissing Yutaka, but he wasn't upset that he had. It hadn't given him a negative feeling. He hadn't been disgusted by it. Heck, once Yutaka had learned what he was doing he had liked it a lot.
So there stood the answer.
His uncle said to fall in love. To love someone you have to like them both physically and mentally. That means forming a connection with someone that you are attracted to.
He's never had a connection stronger than the one he has with Yutaka. He just kissed Yutaka and liked it. And even looking down at the smaller boy he's not really unattractive. He's not Shinji's typical type of tall, athletic, and boobs, but still. Yutaka has that innocent look about him that could be really hot. Shinji could appreciate that.
So maybe the answer was Yutaka.
Yutaka was his first real friend, so maybe first real love wasn't too far of a stretch?
Well, he wouldn't get that far ahead of himself.
His uncle said to fall in love with a girl, but as he looks down at Yutaka he figures it's close enough. The intention is still there.
Sure there are a few issues, Yutaka's crush on Fumiyo, homosexuality being illegal, both of them being blatantly heterosexual up until about an hour ago, but those were just minor details.
Up until an hour ago the prospect of finding someone to fall in love seemed impossible. Now he had an idea, so really it was a step forward. Ah, sweet progress.
Now came the part of getting things to work out the way he wanted them to. Kissing was one thing, but getting Yutaka to want him romantically was different. That was why he didn't just keep kissing Yutaka earlier. That would've just scared him off.
But first things first, he wasn't dating someone who didn't wear any jewelry. The earring Shinji wore had been very important to his uncle and if something bad happened Shinji wanted something to hang onto.
He wondered if Yutaka would wear a ring. Ya know, if he could find a manly one.
Eh, he'd figure it out.