I'm pretty sure I'm the only here who ships Rose and Christian. I don't really care. I just had to write this. :)
Anyway, I think everything here is good enough. I proofread it enough times (okay, twice)
But whatever. Enjoy.
The first time he actually looks at Rose Hathaway, really looks at her, is when she comes to yell at him for spending too much time with Lissa. He notices everything right away. How her brown eyes somehow glint under the dim light of the garden, the way her wavy chocolate locks fall exactly at the sides of her face. He won't lie. He actually thinks she's really beautiful. He reacts without meaning to because he's somehow too distracted, tosses words he doesn't really understand while she throws them back with her own brand of snark and arrogance.
"You're some crazy stalker and she knows it." she yells and yells and yells until he breaks. Every word burns into him and he decides right then and there that he hates her. He hates her for being right, he hates her for being such a total bitch about it, he hates her for telling him the fucking truth. "She thinks you're a freak but she's too nice to say anything about it!" And most of all, he hates himself. He hates himself for believing that someone like Princess Vasilisa Dragomir would seriously want to spend time with someone like him.
He hates her so much. "Oh, and you're not?" he scowls, clenching his fists. Belikov pulls her back. Every ounce within Christian drains down into nothing. He feels empty and it's all her fucking fault. So he takes it back. She's not beautiful. She's not worth his time, she's a stupid bitch.
She tosses more words but he's too numb to actually hear them. Somehow, his mouth spills out words he doesn't know he's saying and he leaves. There's no point in meeting up with Lissa now. Not after what the bitch has told him, so he heads back. He's so pathetic and he blames it all on Rose. So he walk back with his head low and his heart in his pocket.
He forgets she's really pretty. He spends too much time hating her guts to actually give notice but eventually, the realization dawns upon him again. Rose Hathaway is beautiful with her exotic skin and chocolate eyes. He becomes aware of this fact yet again while they are held captive where the brunette is placed conveniently across him. The blank look in her eyes give away the fearless facade but it's something he gives her credit for if not nothing because she's Rose. Somehow, he's not at all hopeless.
And Christian, being the arrogant asshole he is, denies every ounce of attraction he feels towards the bitch. Maybe he's just hungry. That could be it. The burning feeling inside him hurts too much, he needs blood and after watching the bastard take another swig from poor Eddie, he's so close to drinking his own.
"You've never looked so good, Rose." He sneers, meaning everything and nothing at the same time. She shoots him a look and rolls her eyes. Fearless. Because if she were scared then what hope did that leave him? Rose Hathaway is not allowed to be scared. She ran off and protected Lissa for two years, she somehow caught up to her classes in a couple of months. She definitely wasn't allowed to be scared after all the bitching she puts up.
She finally falls asleep a few minutes later, he watches her every second until Mason lets out a growl. "Don't you dare."
"Mason." he drawls with a lazy smile. "I'm so hungry."
"If you touch her-if you even think of touching her-these cuffs won't be able to hold me back and I will rip your throat out!" The redhead snarls, leaning closer towards him. He rolls his eyes. It's not like he's actually thinking of hurting her. He's not. He can't and he won't.
"Oh? Why don't you break them off now and spare us all this bullshit?" Mason is a fucking idiot who is way over his ginger little head. He cannot kill a Strigoi and Rose Hathaway will never love him. Christian takes comfort in this idea because it makes him feel as if he's not all that pathetic for thinking the same.
"You're a fucking bastard!"
One of the guards yell at Mason to shut up and Christian can't help but feel victorious over some kind of fight he won in his mind. He reminds himself that he hates her because Rose Hathaway gives him a fucking headache all the time and the way she acts as if she's all that pisses him off. Yes. He finally decides once again. Christian Ozera hates Rose Hathaway.
The first time they kiss, as bittersweet as it sounds, is after she refuses to protect him from Stan. Somehow he ends up on her makeshift bed of blankets in the corner of his room with her hands in his. The smell of chocolate lingers in the air and suddenly he feels so cold.
"You weren't scared." he states evenly because he knows it's true. Rose Hathaway does not get scared. She didn't freeze out there in the courtyard because that didn't happen. To novices, to guardians, especially not to Rose. She wasn't scared. "You weren't."
"How are you so sure?" she sneers, followed by a complimentary eyeroll. Her fingers graze his palms, slowly tracing the lines on it. "How do you know I wasn't scared?"
"You're not allowed to be scared." Because she's not, she's really not. Only he's allowed to be scared.
She gulps. "Why not?" The questions spirals into him. Why not? Because who's going to save him? Who's going to fight for him? Most of all, who's going to be brave for him?
"Because you're Rose!" he exclaims angrily. Why can't she get it? She's supposed to be the brave self righteous bitch he first met in the garden a few months back! She's not supposed to be scared or lost. That's Christian's job.
She snickers, letting go of his hands. "Oh and that makes me incapable of actually being scared?"
"Yes! Goddamnit, Rose! What happened to you out there?" He waits for an answer to a question he's been asking himself the whole day. What happened to her?
Instead she kisses him. Hard. On the lips. All the anger and frustration pouring into one whole kiss. So Christian kisses her back and forgets about everything else. About Lissa, Stan and all the bullshit in school. Rose Hathaway is kissing him. Her hands move under his shirt, he unties her neat ponytail. They fumble but their movements somehow match. Christian doesn't think. He's a mess, this is a mess. It's not supposed to happen but it is.
But then the brunette pulls away. "Shit." she mutters as he turns around, cheeks burning. "Shit."
"This didn't happen." he whispers to her and to himself.
She runs to his dorm nearly a week after the Strigoi incident on campus. It's actually the first time they've spoken since they fought side by side. He looks at her now. Glassy eyes, pale skin. She doesn't look like the Rose Hathaway he had once kissed in the darkness. "Can I come in?" she manages to muster after a couple of seconds. He nods, just barely.
"If you're here to tell me about my awesome work back there, no need. I already knew I was badass." he shrugs lazily, hoping to hide the dance inside his heart. Questions loom around him, he doesn't breathe until she speaks again.
She bites her lip. "I'm leaving campus." Panic runs through him along with anger. How could she be so selfish? How could she just leave? How could she just leave Lissa? How could she just leave him?
But he doesn't ask those questions, instead he frowns. "When?" He realizes any answer to this will hurt him, but inside he hopes that the answer will give him a bit more time to figure out what exactly happened that night.
"Tomorrow." she sighs, his punches the wall angrily. No. She can't leave. "Christian."
"You can't leave tomorrow!" he yells as he moves closer, those icy blue eyes meet hers for a second. "Rose, you're being selfish! You didn't battle those Strigoi alone! I was there too!" It doesn't make sense why she's leaving.
"I have to do this for myself, okay, Christian?"
But he doesn't answer. Instead he pushes her against the wall and kisses her again. She kisses back. It's quick and hard and cruel at the same time. His lips graze her neck just like what he did in Spokane but this time it's different. He trails kisses along her collarbones as her nails scratch the insides of his shirt. "You're doing it for him, aren't you?" he asks before their lips meet again.
"Yes." she gasps as he bites her lower lip.
"Let me go with you." he murmurs. "I can help you."
She kisses him some more. Only they aren't cruel or violent. They're slow, sweet, real kisses. Kisses that tell him she's going to be alright and that they'll figure it out one way or another. "You can't. You have to finish making more bacon meatloaf." she gives him a sad smile before shoving him away.
"I can wait for you, Rose. We can figure this out." He's practically begging. Christian realizes that only Rose Hathaway can do that to him. Only Rose Hathaway can have s much power over his feelings.
"No, Christian. You have to stay here and be with Lissa." she tells him. He nods at this and realizes the truth as she stalks off into the darkness. So he stands by his doorway, feeling the same way he had felt the day he had first realized she was beautiful. Christian Ozera decides right then and there that Rose Hathaway is beautiful and he hates her for it. So he keeps his head low and his heart in his pocket.