Disclaimer: I do not own either the Alex Rider series or the Artemis Fowl series. I do, however, own a right to write about them as long as I do not claim the series as my own.

Setting: Pre-Stormbreaker. Between The Lost Colony and The Time Paradox. (This is the setting at the start, anyway.)

Artemis Fowl was having a rather boring day. He had flown out to London for a business meeting with his father - one which really could have been avoided - and was currently taking a stroll with Butler by his side while his father "finished negotiations."

He has just been wishing for something more exciting to take place when he rounded a street corner and someone crashed into him.

Butler grabbed him before he could fall, but the boy who had shared the collision wasn't as lucky, tumbling down and dropping all the things he was holding.

The boy immediately looked up and Artemis could see his face - pretty average with a common hairstyle for his vaguely disheveled ashy blonde hair and deep brown eyes. The boy almost couldn't be more average. The items he dropped seemed mostly school related, but a cup of coffee was down, as well as a piece of toast which had been sticking out of the boys mouth.

The boy yelped and started blurting out apologies, Butler's hold on Artemis tightening all the while. The boy - who appeared to be a school boy, going by his uniform - gathered his things, seemed to check if Artemis was alright, before blurting off one last apology and running off at the incredible speed he had run into Artemis with.

Artemis checked his watch only to confirm his suspicion.

"It's twelve twenty-three." He stated aloud so that Butler could perhaps share his confusion.

Butler nodded, seeing what he was getting at.

"How could anyone possibly be this late for classes?" Artemis asked, not expecting to ever get a reasonable answer.

Butler sighed. "Are you okay?"

Artemis nodded, brushing himself off. "Yes, none of the coffee that spilt on his sleeve got of me. Nor did any crumbs."

He looked around, checking if this was a scheme for himself, when he spotted that the boy had left a paper.

He smiled lightly - for the reason, he did not know - and bent down to pick it up.

It was a math assignment, and by the looks of it, the boy was studying the same thing his class was currently on, meaning they must be the same age.

And in the corner, in perhaps the best handwriting he could've hoped for from a common schoolboy, was a name:

Alex Rider.

Alex Rider was running late, and it was even worse that he had bumped into someone on his way to school. Granted, the kid looked like one of those rich boys who would never have to lift a finger in life unless they wanted to(he was wearing a suit for God's sake!), but if Alex knew one thing, it was to know the whole story before judging.

But he was still running late and thus could only give out so many apologies before he had to run again.

Why he was late? The answer comes in two pairs of words: "Jet Lag" and "Ian Rider".

Recently, Ian had taken Alex on a trip(he couldn't seem to recall where to at the moment), and Alex was out of it when it came to sleep.

And now? Half of his coffee was on his sleeve.

He groaned, knowing that the only classes he would sit through were the last two anyway, so it wasn't too bad, but he was still tired, and guilty-feeling, hoping that he hadn't spilled anything on the boy.

The last two classes were all too slow, and Alex found himself wondering about the boy he had rammed into. Who was he? Who was the man that was with him?

'...did I get any coffee on him? God, I hope not...'

As he returned back to his house, he couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding... although it wasn't a bad feeling.

The moment Artemis returned to his room, he was online, searching every database for Alex Rider.

As it turned out, the boy was nothing too special. Just an average student in an average school, with averagely good grades. Sure, it seemed his parents were dead and he lived with his uncle, but that was the end of the weird.

The young genius sat back, relaxing for a moment. There was nothing to fear.

It didn't take long for them to run into each other again.

Artemis was once again on a stroll in London with Butler as his father "finished negotiations", when he saw a peculiar sight.

The school he was passing by - Brookland Comprehensive - seemed familiar to him for whatever reason. He couldn't place why until he walked by their football field.

'Oh, that's right.'

It was the school he had found that the boy who ran into him - Alex Rider - attended. And, lo and behold, there was the boy himself, in the middle of football practice.

He was currently doing high-kicks, hitting the football up with each one, brown eyes set in determination. He appeared to have sweat a little already, forehead glistening ever so slightly.

Artemis only realized that he had stopped walking when Butler waved a hand in front of his face.

"Artemis!" He called urgently, most likely concerned. "Artemis, are you hurt!?"

He snapped out of it. "No, Butler, I'm perfectly healthy. Do you remember two weeks ago when that boy bumped into me?"

Butler nodded, before taking the hint and following his gaze.

"This must be his school. I knew it sounded familiar when we passed." Artemis stated.

His bodyguard frowned. "You looked him up?"

"Yes, I did, so I can assure you that he is no threat. Just an average schoolboy who was incompetent enough to be four hours late to his classes." Artemis assured.

"Why are you staring then?"

Before Artemis could reply, it struck him that he was staring for no reason that he could think of.

He cleared his throat and began walking again. "No reason."

Only once he started to leave did Alex realize he'd been stared at, and could only watch the mysterious figures disappear.

The first time the two properly met was just a week after that. Artemis was (once again) in London, but for luxury this time. He still found it insane how many times he'd been in London over the past month, but it was still true.

He was with his mother, father, and Butler in a little café, hilariously unexpensive for the wealthy family, but his mother had insisted that the place had "heart".

Artemis was bored, to say in the least. He'd have even preferred watching Myles and Beckett, but he was here instead, waiting for a waiter to come and give them a check for their meal.

That was until a familiar face came strolling in.

Artemis almost fell out of his chair when he saw Alex Rider walk in - something very out of character for him.

Following Alex was an older man - most likely his uncle - , a young redhead, and a black haired boy who looked about Alex's age. That one was blabbering on and on about some inconceivable dream he'd had.

Artemis stared in wonderment as Alex didn't even notice him as the waiter directed the group to the table right behind him.

Now sitting back to back with the boy that had ran into him at Mach 10, he was stiff as a brick.

What was... should he talk to him? No, why would he? But, it was irritating that the boy hadn't recognized him. Well, perhaps he'd forgotten about running into Artemis...

He tuned into the conversation behind him.

"-and then, just as the Martians appeared-"

"Tom, really, I'll listen later, but we're in public." Alex promised.

"Tom" sighed and addressed Alex. "Fine, but you're hearing all about it later."

"Fine. Just end your rambling before midnight?"

"Fine."

"Who said you were allowed to stay up till midnight?" The female asked, her voice accented American.

Both of the boys let out prolonged "uhms".

Artemis couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

Unfortunately, it elicited him the attention of his mother.

"Artemis, honey, is everything alright?"

Startled out of his eavesdropping, he nodded viciously. "Yes, absolutely perfect, Mother. Why do you ask?"

She smiled, "No reason."

He nodded, trying to tune back to the conversation behind him when he noticed that one voice was noticeably missing - Alex had left.

He looked around frantically, ignoring the oddity of his erratic behavior, and decided that the boy would most likely be in the restroom.

He didn't know why he was so keen on seeing this boy again - or why he'd go through the length of visiting the bathroom, an undoubtedly awkward experience - but he had to actually talk to the boy this time.

After excusing himself - and insisting on going himself - he walked over.

He was surprised - and greatly relieved - to find that the boy was at the sink, splashing water on his face.

For a moment, he just stared, taking in the look of the boy still for once, not running with his tie half on or rigorously practicing a sport.

He decided to go to the sinks as well, rubbing his eyes in exasperation of himself. Why did he do this? Why did he want to meet this boy so much?

"Hey, um, are you okay?" A voice none other than Alex's asked.

"Quite. I'm just exhausted." Artemis breathed out, not looking up just yet.

"I don't mean to pry, but you look like you're in pain. Well... I guess I do mean to pry. I never did get that saying..." Alex mused, and Artemis smiled.

'Someone else who thinks that saying is counterintuitive. Finally.'

"But, really, are you okay? And don't worry, strangers don't really collect dirt on other strangers." Alex promised.

Artemis nodded, changing the subject to a test. "Have we met before?"

Alex blinked. "I don't think so. Do you live in London?"

"No, but I've visited often these past few months."

Alex seemed to take a beat to examine Artemis, before it clicked in his mind.

"You wouldn't have happened to have a boy fly into you at Mach 10 a few weeks ago, would you?" Alex finally asked.

'He used the same comparison.'

"I just so happened to have that experience, yes, but are you sure that was you? There are a lot of people who don't look where they're going in this city." Artemis quipped.

Alex went red. "You're in the same boat. Neither of us checked to make sure there was nobody around the corner."

"But you were the one running. The tailgater is always the one at fault."

"I hope your having fun comparing yourself to someone who just got their car wrecked." The blonde smirked.

Artemis rose an eyebrow, impressed by the boy's wit. "The time of my life, as my engine at least still works."

"Have fun with the wreckage of everything in your trunk." "I don't carry baggage."

"This metaphor is really falling apart isn't it?" Alex asked.

"On the contrary, I believe it works better every second. I'm Artemis Fowl the Second, in case you didn't know."

Alex rose an eyebrow at that. "Why would I? I'm Alex, by the way. Alex Rider."

"Changing the subject I see. Maybe you didn't formulate it well enough. Nice to meet you."

"Reverting the subject I see. Didn't think before you said it, did you?"

"I think before anything I say. In that case, I must've not estimated the possible outcome that you gave."

Alex blinked suddenly, furrowing his eyebrows. "When did we start debating?"

"Somewhere around the point I suggested that you were an idiot." Artemis suggested.

"As nice as this has been, my table is probably waiting for me." Alex said, turning on his heel to leave, giving a smile at Artemis.

"Mine as well." Artemis stated, falling in step beside Artemis.

Alex seemed to understand that they weren't done talking.

"So, the name Artemis. That's the Greek goddess, yeah?" Alex asked.

Artemis nodded. "The goddess of the hunt."

"We going to ignore the fact that she's a female?"

"Just as we will the fact that that sentence was redundant."

"Touché."

"Any meaning behind the name Alex?"

"Of course. My parents liked it." Alex smirked.

Artemis didn't get the joke. "That's not a meaning."

Alex stared, for the first time, a bit put off. "Wow, you don't get comedy, do you?"

"If that was a joke, I would have laughed."

"How about we don't get into what makes a joke a joke?"

"I agree, it would be tiresome."

Neither noticed they had completely stopped walking to their seats to talk to each other.

"It would be interesting to debate with you about it at a later time, though." Alex said.

Artemis shrugged, a smile unintentionally playing at his face. "I believe so."

Alex nodded, stroking his chin in a pseudo-thoughtful manner. "You obviously have no clue what common humor is, so I'd like to see you flounder to find an excuse for not knowing a joke when you hear one."

Artemis played into the bit. "Yes, and your "common humor" will obviously end up being no match for true comedy."

"Let me guess, nerdy puns."

"Oh, how could you have possibly known."

A new voice piped up, alerting the two boys to the presence. "So, when's the wedding?"

There stood a boy Artemis was sure had come in with Alex, the one he was sure Alex had called Tom.

Alex laughed, "Shut up, Tom."

Tom shrugged in an innocent manner.

He looked and Artemis and held out a hand. "I'm Tom Harris. So, guy-who's-probably-the-thing-that-took-Alex-so-long, who are you?"

Artemis reluctantly shook the boy's hand, "My name is Artemis Fowl the Second."

"Ooh, "The Second," scary." Tom grinned.

"As it should be." Artemis stated cooly.

Alex shot Artemis a questioning look, before seeming to remember that he had a table waiting for him.

He gave Artemis a small smile and turned to Tom.

"Did you guys order while I was gone?" "Yeah, but don't worry, I know what you would've gotten."

Alex turned back to Artemis. "I should probably get back now."

Artemis nodded, feeling put out all of the sudden.

"Artemis!" He heard Butler call as he came into the area.

"We're leaving."

The black-haired boy started to walk, but felt a hand on his shoulder.

He turned to see Alex offering him a scrap of paper.

The boy grinned. "I expect you to follow through on those nerdy puns. Otherwise, I don't know, I might have to doubt you on it."

Artemis returned the smile, taking what he had figured out to be Alex's phone number. "Well, I can't have someone doubting my abilities. We'll be in touch, Alex Rider."

And they were.

Artemis soon discovered the joys of texting, even though he had thought it useless before.

He and Alex talked all the time, and Artemis found himself quite enjoying the boy's personality. It was an odd sensation, to feel so utterly normal just because of one person, but a good one.

He found himself anxiously awaiting the next excuse to go to London, knowing that - with the pattern that had been going on - he'd most likely see Alex again.

When that day came, he found the first opportunity to venture out on a walk and took it.

It didn't happen immediately, but sure enough, Alex showed.

It started with a text.

'u wouldn't happen to be wandering the streets of London, would u?'

Artemis, curious, glanced around, pausing in his tracks and choosing to lean against a tree.

'Yes. And how would you happen to know?'

He was keenly aware of his surroundings now, surveying every direction under intense scrutiny, but still no dice.

Alex still wasn't in his view.

Another text popped up.

'the weather sure is nice up here. nice hair, btw.'

Slowly, Artemis panned his vision upwards until he was staring at the branches of the tree he had stopped against.

"Boo!"

And of course, Alex Rider managed to shock Artemis Fowl once again.

Why the hell was the boy up a tree in the first place wasn't important. It wasn't, because the circumstances didn't matter as long as they managed to meet up.

Didn't mean he wasn't curious, though.

A/N: … yes, this is one of the things I've been doing in place of "Percy Jackson. Chaos Army."(Still can't get over the originality of that name.)

Anyway, I wrote this awhile ago and am working on a second chapter. 'Cause I'm a human and I can.

And yes, this will eventually be an Alex/Artemis pairing. Just gotta work up to it, and the friendship is necessary first too.

On the topic of the ship… shut up, I'm allowed to have crossover ships.

And for everyone worrying about PJCA, chill? I'm working on it, I swear. Actually started on it recently. Yes, "started", shut up.

Anyway.

Yours in demigodishness, and all that, and as always, until next time. *cheesy salute*