First person is not one of my favorites or my specialties, for that matter, so I decided to practice writing in it just for the heck of it. And then this happened. I did not have the intention of writing a story at all but the words came out before I could stop them. And then when I did realize a story was being written I thought I'd make it a little drabble or something short and sweet...Yeah that didn't happen. It's two-thousand words. I guess I can't write anything shorter lol. I thought it would only be a few hundred but that's not the case, now is it? Anyway I hope you enjoy this! It's just a short little one-shot where Lorna thinks back on her first day of prison...and meeting her real soulmate Nicky! (I doubt this is really what would have happened but I thought it might be interesting)
The First Day
Prison. "You'll get yourself thrown in prison, for Christ's sake!" I remember my sister saying to me - my entire family, really. Of course I refused to listen. Christopher was more important - he was everything I ever dreamt of in a man and I just couldn't let him slip away that easily. I spent countless hours of every day following him around and watching his each and every move. I longed so desperately for his love - I knew he was my soulmate the moment I laid eyes on him. We bumped into each other at the post office - I had a handful of boxes in my arms, online shopping was a favorite of mine - and that's when he asked me out for a coffee, after he so generously helped to gather my fallen boxes. That's also the day I found the love of my life...at least who I assumed to be the love of my life.
I should have listened to my family - I should have just left Christopher alone. But I didn't, and now I'm on my way to prison. A horrible, disgusting place where I never expected to see myself. As a child, I always imagined I'd be married to a handsome young man and we'd live in an extravagant house with five, maybe six, little ones running around. Instead I have to spend the next thirty-four months of my life locked away in some filthy prison. All because I chose to love a man named Christopher. A man who considered my love to be a joke - a reason that almost three years of my life should be tossed down the drain.
When I arrive at the prison - which might as well just be referred to as my home since I'll be stuck here for so long - I'm brought to a cell where I'll have to stay for the next few days until they assign me to my permanent residency. There are four sets of bunk-beds, and I could easily tell how much use they've endured over-God only knows-how many years. I feel sick to my stomach just staring at them and even worse when I'm assigned to the one that seems to be about to fall off it's hinges.
After I finish getting my bed made - rather watching as one of the older inmate's, an Italian woman, make it - I decide to walk aimlessly around the prison. I can't sit in that room any longer, it makes me feel as though I'm suffocating. As I walk down the corridor, I silently observe the other women around me. Some of them I can easily distinguish as drug addicts. Some who look like they could kill another for just staring at them the wrong way. And then there are others who make me question how they ended up here. The same I do with myself - How could I end up in prison? Why would I let this happen to myself?
Not before long, they announce that's it supper time over the loud speaker and I'm forced to reluctantly make my way to the cafeteria. I timidly stand in line - my hands are shaky as I take the tray offered to me from a very hard-featured woman who's red-hair is choppy and crops around her face perfectly. "You're new here, I can tell. What's your name? I'm Red," she says to me, and with a very thick Russian accent. I quietly tell her my own name, not entirely sure what to think of this woman. She looks like she might be secretly plotting my death.
"Nice to meet you. Why don't you go sit at the table over there on the right?" Red suggests as she points in that exact direction - I look over there and notice a woman, with a bush of red curly hair, sitting there. She seems to be listening to music or something of that nature as I can see the wire of her head phones hanging from her ears. I glance back up at the Russian cook - not exactly tempted to listen to her. "That's Nicky - she's nice. She's a bit of a hard-head but she's not gonna hurt you or anything." I slowly nod my head and walk over to the table.
My legs very faintly shake as I walk and before I even take a seat, I look directly into this Nicky person's eyes. "Uh is-is it okay if-if I sit here?" I stutter through my question - a nervous habit of mine. I watch her closely, her brown eyes taunting me as she removes the headphones from her ears and chuckles. She's not someone I would have ever chosen to talk to had I not been stuck here in prison. But she also seems to be the only one who doesn't look as though she'll slice my head off while I'm sleeping.
The wild-haired redhead nods her head though while saying, "Sure is, kid." I have a seat across from her and am shocked at how she doesn't seem to be discrete at allowing her eyes to search up and down my body. Oh God, I silently shriek, she's a lesbian... That's not to say I'm against it or anything - it's just my family's Catholic and never exposed us to any other lifestyles than our 'normal' one. So I don't know much about lesbianism and it concerns me what this woman is capable of. "What'd ya do to get yourself in here?" I gulp as I focus my attention back on the present situation. There's absolutely no way I want any of these other inmates to know the reason I'm really here.
I glance down at the food on my tray, using my fork to push it around as I think of what to respond with. I shouldn't lie, I know that, but it's the only thing I'm good at these days. "I scammed a few online shopping sites. What did you do?" That wasn't too much of a lie - I did scam online shopping sites. I ended up meeting Christopher through my scamming. Except that's not what landed me here in prison. And Christopher never knew about it.
"Scamming? That's real hardcore of you, kid," Nicky replies, laughing, as she takes a bite of food from her tray. "Oh you wanna know what I did, do ya? I killed a ton of men, and then cut their genitals off and threw them in a fire - I'm a serial killer! I killed about...hmm, 100-160 men? Yeah that's about right," her tone is serious and a smirk is displayed across her face. My eyes widen and I can feel my body lightly shaking - why would Red tell me to sit with a serial killer? Oh my God - she is secretly planning to kill me! I can see Nicky's mouth moving but I'm already up and on my way out of the cafeteria before I hear what she says.
I throw my tray away and as I'm about to exit, I feel a rough hand run down my body. Terrified, I look up to see that it's one of the officer's - the one with the mustache, making him come across as a child molester and maybe that's exactly what he is with the way he's acting. "Welcome to prison, whore," he whispers against my ear, letting another one of his hands to roughly trace down my body. I can feel tears in my eyes but I force myself to keep them in and am relieved when he finally lets go of me. I quickly run out of the room before he has another chance to touch me.
I end up in the vacant bathroom - sitting in a stall as I finally allow myself to cry. I hate myself for getting locked up, I should have listened to my damn family! Why did I have to let my love for Christopher get me into such serious trouble? I should have known that I wasn't meant to be with such a charming young man. My body trembles as I freely let myself break apart. This is only my first day and I already want to die. There's no way that I'll survive here for three years!
I'm so busy sobbing my eyes that I don't even hear when someone's knocking on the stall door or when it's being pried open. I feel the person's breath on me and that's when I look up to meet her eyes. "Are you-Are you here to kill me? I should have - I should have known that-that the Russian chef only sent me to sit with you because she knew you'd murder me! I could see it in those hard eyes of hers that she was planning my death and now here you are... Just get it over with," I choke out, my eyes terrified as I stare up at the redhead.
Nicky shakes her head, slouching down to sit beside me on the hard-concrete floor. She looks at me, her brown eyes seeming to be sincere for the first time, and then I feel her hand cup around my hand. "I was joking around, kid," she chuckles, but peers at me with a softness to her, "I tell that to all the new people and everyone usually knows I'm kidding! I mean come on - this is a fucking minimum security prison, you really think they'd allow a serial killer to have this much freedom? Hell no. They get antsy around women who've thrown food at them - there's no way they'd allow a killer to be in here. Red ain't out to have you murdered - that's just how she always looks. But if she was I'm sure she'd do it herself."
I timidly nod my head. I guess she's right, they wouldn't allow murderers to stay in such a facility. My tears ease up as does my crying and I have the urge to ask her about that one officer - I can't even think of his name. "Do you know about that officer - the one with the creepy mustache? Is he a child molester or somethin'? He's kind of scary," I shutter at the memory of his rough hands tracing along my body. I hope to God that he doesn't come near me again.
"Oh yeah - that's Mendez. He's nasty," I can hear a sharpness in her tone and as she stares over at me, her eyes go dark, "Did he do anything to you? I saw him whispering something to you - what did he say? He's a sex offender but of course the prison doesn't give a shit about that! They try to deny it but he is. He's raped about half of the women in here..."
Hearing that makes me even more terrified - how could they let a sex offender work as a police officer?! My stomach becomes queasy as I move towards the toilet and let myself throw up. There's no way that I am going to survive my prison sentence - I can't live in such a terrifying place. "He's - He's raped pris-prisoners?! Oh God...I-I - Why? What kind of prison is this? Is that part of the punishment? To be raped by an officer in prison? I mean I understand I have to pay for my crime...but I-I don't want to get raped!" I shriek, feeling another round of tears coming out.
Nicky's arms wrap around me, pulling my body against hers. I feel a hand run gently through my hair which seems to help me calm down some. "No one's gonna rape you, kid. I'll make sure of that," she fiercely says, her hold on me even tighter as she strokes my hair in a comforting manner. "I'll look after you, okay? I know we just met and everything - but I mean it. I'm gonna take care of you in here and I sure as hell won't let that nasty Mendez anywhere near ya, kid. You'll be okay here."