What's New Pussycat?, a law and order: ci fanfic

Title: What's New Pussycat

Couple: Det. Mike Logan and Det. Megan Wheeler

Summary: Episode tag for Bombshell, just another fluff piece with Mike and Megan.

Disclaimer: Nope don't own L&O: CI or the characters from the show. I'm just taking them out for a little spin is all.

Spoilers: Up through Bombshell

Mike Logan sat next to his partner trying to ignore the cats that were crawling all over him. He winced slightly when he felt one behind him, the paws digging into his shoulder and, dear God in heaven, the thing was actually licking the collar of his suit coat.

He fought the urge to hunch his shoulders and roll his head from side to side to push the cat away. Hell, he was proud of the fact that he hadn't taken his service revolver and shot the damn thing since it had completely invaded his personal space. Mike idly wondered if he could sue the department for "cat" harassment and if he could get Wheeler to go along with his plan, willing to offer her a percentage of the take.

He caught the look Wheeler was giving him and he knew she was enjoying this way too much as she continued to question Holland's daughters Bessie and Clara even though the line of questioning was pointless. These two put the cuck in cuckoo.

There was that amused look again on his partner's face. Well maybe Wheeler wouldn't be the best witness for his "cat" harassment suit after all. He finally put his game face on when Bessie Holland protested that her old man would only go into that 'burlesque' show for a meeting and he mumbled dutifully, "of course."

He barely listened as Wheeler asked her next question as he gently pushed the cat currently walking back and forth across his lap. It wasn't that Mike didn't like animals, they were fine in moderation but this place gave him the creeps.

His creepiness heightened as Clara Holland gestured towards the cat in his lap and said, "She likes you."

He forced himself to give her a halfhearted smile as Bessie Holland actually leaned forward and cooed, "It's his musk."

Mike Logan considered himself a fairly brave guy but the looks these two were giving him sent chills down his spine and he knew without a shadow of a doubt he would have nightmares tonight thanks to the Holland sisters.

"Well thank you for your time," he said quickly as he pushed the cat off his lap and stood up. "Wheeler," he hissed as his partner continued to sit there, smirking at him.

Finally she took pity on him and stood up. "Thank you," she chimed in.

Mike's eyes widened in horror as Bessie Holland went to stand up. "Don't get up, we'll show ourselves out," he told her as he grabbed Wheeler by the arm and propelled her towards the front hall.

"Gee, Logan, loosen the grip before you pull my arm out of the socket," she huffed as he pulled her through the door and down the front steps towards the car.

"Sorry," he said as he finally let go of her arm once they were safely away from the Holland sisters.

Megan fought the urge to chuckle as she watched her partner. Since she'd known him he had gotten into a fistfight with half a dozen firefighters, stared down the barrel of a gun while on a fire escape and had been threatened by the Albanian mob and hadn't so much as flinched but the two women they had just left actually put fear into his eyes.

He tossed her the keys since he had driven over and jogged around to the passenger side of the car. She waited until he was buckled in before starting the engine and pulling away from the curb. "You ok, Logan?" she asked.

"Fine," he huffed as he looked down at himself. "I just got this suit out of the cleaners and now it's covered in cat hair." He reached down and grabbed the can of Diet Coke he had gotten before they left the squad and popped the top.

Wheeler watched out of the corner of her eyes as Mike brought the soda up to his lips and took a long swig before taunting. "So, Logan, all this time you thought it was your charm but it was really your musk that helped you get all that pussy," she snickered gleefully as he spat his soda out in shock.

Logan coughed as he stared at his fresh-faced partner in disbelief. "I can't believe you just said that," he said with a glimmer of pride in his voice that she was becoming a true smart ass. "Seriously, you kiss your mother with that mouth."

Megan continued to chuckle as Logan gave her one of his trademark smirks. She turned in time to see him reach into the glove compartment and grab some napkins to dab at the soda on his shirt and she shook her head in amusement as she heard her partner unconsciously humming "What's New Pussycat" to himself.

It might not have been one of the most insightful interviews they've conducted but neither could deny that it wasn't fun in its own twisted way.

The End

Yup, I heard the old Tom Jones song not too long after re-watching this episode and couldn't resist writing this one. In case people aren't familiar with the song I have posted the lyrics below.

What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah

Pussycat, Pussycat

I've got flowers

And lots of hours

To spend with you.

So go and powder your cute little pussycat nose!

Pussycat, Pussycat

I love you

Yes, I do!

You and your pussycat nose!

What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah

Pussycat, Pussycat

You're so thrilling

And I'm so willing

To care for you.

So go and make up your cute little pussycat face!

Pussycat, Pussycat

I love you

Yes, I do!

You and your pussycat face!

What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah

Pussycat, Pussycat

You're delicious

And if my wishes

Can all come true

I'll soon be kissing your sweet little pussycat lips!

Pussycat, Pussycat

I love you

Yes, I do!

You and your pussycat lips!

You and your pussycat eyes!

You and your pussycat nose!