Letting Go Is Harder than Holding On

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

Summary: Kagome thinks, remembers, and ultimately... lets go.

Note: This is a one-shot, but it will be the basis for all my other stories.

Modern Era: Sunset Shrine: Kagome's POV

Sometimes, I wish that when he looked at me he saw more than just the good qualities she once possessed. I tried, so hard, to earn his respect, his friendship, ultimately, his love. I, however, could never measure up to one so perfect as her, even if we do share the same soul.

I know I sound bitter. I can't help it. Sometime between then, and now, I've lost who I really am. I used to be just plain old Kagome Higurashi. Now, I'm Kagome Higurashi, Kikyou's reincarnation, untrained miko from the future.

Once, if asked to define myself, I'd say I was a student, a daughter, and sister. Now, I'm so much more, but I've also seemed to lose what I once was. I'm a mother to a kitsune, a healer to the injured, an outsider to the common, cast away by the one I love. There I go again, bitter thoughts.

I could never leave him, even if I tried. Its not his looks, kami knows its not his attitude, but I love him. Everyone says that he doesn't deserve my love, doesn't deserve me. Maybe he doesn't deserve my love, but he definitely needs it. And I can't help but want to help him. He's an outsider, shunned by both humans and demons. I can't blame him for the way he acts. Sometimes, though, I wish I had never fell down the well, never laid eyes on his sleeping face, never broke the jewel. However, I believe that since I can't change the past, my past at least, I shouldn't think about it. It will always be a part of me, but I shouldn't be hung up over it.

I've decided something just now; I may be Kikyou's reincarnation, but I am not an imitation! I'm sure that somewhere in the modern era, all of my friends and enemies are reincarnated. And if I traveled farther into the past, I would meet their previous incarnations. Kikyou probably didn't have an original soul, so somewhere down the line; she's someone's reincarnation.

This really doesn't help my present situation with Inuyasha though. My thoughts keep wandering. I love him. I know that. I just don't know in what way. He's my protector, but sometimes I protect him. It's a two way street. He keeps me safe physically, and I try my best to keep him happy. In that way, I see him as a big brother. But sometimes, I wonder if we could be more. I can't help but speculate, sometimes, if these feelings for him are just remnants of Kikyou left in my soul. But, if my relationship to Inuyasha continues as it is, I'll eventually grow bitter. I think... that it would be better if I moved on. Whether in the past, present, or future, I'm not certain, but I'm sure someone, somewhere, could love me.

And as she thought that, Kagome drifted off into a deep sleep. She had given up on Inuyasha ever returning her love, but she would stay with him. And as she slept, her decision set the mechanics of destiny into motion once again, and three demons were unwittingly thread into her future.