Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this fanfic apart from Jeremy
and Meli, and obviously, the real people.
Notes: First fanfic I ever wrote!! I've included some of my penpals and friends and family etc. Please read, enjoy and review! Jupiter_Blossem@hotmail.com
Whose who?
Penpals Friends Family Pets
Mio Shandrea The Mother Squeaks Walum Kestrel Trowasgurl Pikmin Onishimasu Question Mark Link Bob Eve Sanosuke
Internet friends
Meeko
Pikmin Palace
By Jupiter Maxwell/Sailor Meowth
*Jupiter Maxwell stands behind the desk at the entrance hall of Pikmin Palace, waiting. She is wearing a long red hippy-skirt and a Ranma ½ top. Next to her stands her little sister, Trowasgurl. She is blonde and wearing a pink and white mesh top and pink parachute trousers. Jupiter has dark, honey blonde hair and thick framed red glasses. Both are grinning like maniacs and staring into nothingness.*
Trowasgurl: Gimme a hug!
Jupiter: *still smiling* Touch me and die!
*Ryo Hazuki enters*
Ryo: Hello Jupiter-san. On the day of incident did you see any men wearing black suits?
Jupiter: In black suits? No, I haven't! Sorry, Dyo.
Ryo: I see.and it's Ryo.
Jupiter: *Stares at him.well, past him.*
Ryo: *Shrugs and turns to leave.*
Trowasgurl: Wait, Dyo!
Ryo: What, Trowasgurl-san?
Trowasgurl: I did see some men in black suits with your father behind the dojo and they were.um. *Whispers something in Ryos ear*
Ryo: *Looking traumatized* I see.
*Ryo leaves the building*
*Jupiter and Trowasgurl laugh manically, sounding like constipated donkeys*
*The Mother enters*
The Mother: I have tortured yet another pupil with my constant wind! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Jupiter & Trowasgurl: Ooookaaay.
2 hours later.
Trowasgurl: My legs hurt! I'm tired! I'm bored! What is the point of this stupid place?
Jupiter: Shut up and have some chips!
Trowasgurl: Mmmm.chips.*drools*
Jupiter: AAAHH!! They're trying to assassinate me again!
The Mother: Good.
1 hour later.
*A girl in red Chinese clothing enters*
Girl: Nihao, Jupiter-san!
Jupiter: Konnichiwa, Mio-san!
Trowasgurl & The Mother: Who's that?
Jupiter: No one important!
Mio: Hey!
Jupiter: Sorry! I haven't insulted anyone all day! Anyhoo, Mio, could you do me a biiiig favour that you'll be rewarded for greatly?
Mio: *Suspiciously* What?
Jupiter: Boil a kettle!
All: Huh?!
Jupiter: *giggles* Later on, Walum, the King of Ranma ½, is coming by and he's bringing P-chan and, well, y'know I'm very phobic of pigs, if you get what I mean.
Mio:*Starry eyed* Yes! Yes!
Jupiter: *Cheeky grin*.and, as pigs don't wear clothes.
*Mio blushes and grins. She goes into the kitchen to boil a kettle.*
Trowasgurl: Do we even have a kitchen?
Jupiter: Duh! It's my palace! Of course I do! (B.T.W. - Davison's friends, the 'Duh' is said in the way as I did in our Science play at the end of Yr. 8.^_^)
*Squeaks are heard from afar.enter Squeaks, the man eating cannibal guinea pig and Pikmin, the hypo silver agouti guinea pig.*
The Mother: AAAHH! GET AWAY FIEND!! *Jumps onto nearby table*
*Squeaks looks at The Mother evilly and tries to jump onto the table, bearing salvia-dripping fangs, but is too obese to jump that high.*
The Mother: AAAHH!!
Jupiter: The Mother! Why are you screaming? He is only trying to make friends!
Trowasgurl:*Snorts* Yeah! And that's why he's trying to gnaw through the table legs top gat at her, is it?
Jupiter:*Stares at Trowasgurl.well, past her anyway.* What do you mean? Squeaks would never do a thing like that!
*Mio comes out of the kitchen to see what all the commotion is about.*
Mio: What's going on?
Jupiter: Question marks are cool!
Trowasgurl: Squeaks, Jupiter's man-eating guinea pig, is trying to eat The Mother again.*Sighs*
Mio: The Mother doesn't seem that bothered. *Looks at The Mother who is just standing playing a mysteriously gotten violin. Suddenly, she stops and looks back at Mio.*
The Mother: Call me Mrs. Walden.
Mio: Huh?! *Turns to Jupiter and Trowasgurl* Isn't your surname Brown?
Jupiter: Nope! Mine's Maxwell!
Trowasgurl: And mine's Barton!
Mio:*falls over anime style* No! I mean in reality!
Jupiter:*Looks serious* What's reality?
*Group eye-roll*
Trowasgurl: Yes, but The Mother thinks it's more refined to be called by her maiden name.
Mio: I see.
Trowasgurl & Jupiter: AAAHH!! She's turning into Hazuki! *Faints*
Mio: Huh?!
Trowasgurl: You're turning into Ryo Hazuki!
Mio: I see.
Jupiter: AAAAAHH!! She did it again!
*Pikmin, fed up of being ignored, decides to climb up the curtains near the doors. Just then, a tall young man wearing badly fitting tin foil over his black clothes and carrying a large hammer enters, cautiously.*
Jupiter: Good 'morrow, Onishimasu!
Onishimasu: Huh?! Oh yeah. Hi Jupi-
*Just then, Pikmin jumps down onto Onishimasus head.* Onishimasu: AAARGH!! Why isn't the guinea pig protection suit working! *Onishimasu lifts hammer above his head, so Pikmin quickly runs.*
Onishimasu: *Panting* that.wasn't the.man-eating one.was it?
Jupiter: No, that's the hypo one!
Trowasgurl: That's the man-eating one! *Points to Squeaks who is still trying to eat The Mother.*
Onishimasu: MWAHAHAHAHA!! I've got you now! *Creeps up on Squeaks with hammer held high above his head. Squeaks turns round, sees the hammer and dashes between Onishimasus legs.* Oi! Get back here! *Runs after Squeaks*
Jupiter: Oh Squeaks! My ickle baby! Don't hurt him! *Runs after Onishimasu as fast as her dyspraxic legs can take her.*
The Mother: Go get him Onishi-whateva! Good girl!
*Onishimasu stops running and turns around. Jupiter bumps into him and falls flat on her back. Onishimasu doesn't seem to notice.*
Onishimasu: What d'ya mean 'good girl'! I'm a guy!
The Mother: I know. Its just force of habit. *sighs* I suppose I'll have to buy you lollipops now.
Onishimasu: Yay!
*Meanwhile, Mio is looking at Pikmin with great interest.*
Mio: *To herself* Hmmm.a guinea PIG. I wonder if he will also turn into Ryoga. I can't wait until that guy, Walum, gets here, so I might as well try it!
*Fetches the freshly boiled kettle and pours it onto Pikmin. Pikmin squeals and turns into a pikmin and runs away.*
Mio: D'oh!
*Just then, a royal looking guy enters. He is wearing a crown, and a fur cape over his normal clothes. In one hand, he holds a golden scepter with a crystal panda on top and in the other is a leash. On the end of the leash is a little black piglet who we all know as P-chan.*
Royal guy: Hello!
Mio: You must be Walum, the King of Ranma ½.
Walum: I think so.
Mio: I am Mio, the QUEEN of Ranma ½. *She obviously hasn't noticed P-chan yet!*
*P-chan sniffs at Jupiter who is lying there with her eyes all swirly and her hands in the traditional Ranma ½ pose. Jupiter's eyes open.*
Jupiter: Huh?! A snout?! *She realizes* AAAHH!! IT'S A PIG! *Jumps onto the chandelier. Meanwhile, Onishimasu decides he's had enough and goes to sleep.*
Mio: *Hearts in her eyes* The moment is sooooo close!
Jupiter: Where's the kettle? Mio!
Mio: *Runs in to the kitchen and boils another kettle in record time.* Here we go-oo!
*Jupiter jumps down and slips over.*
Trowasgurl: Motor moron.
Jupiter: Shut up!
*Mio pours kettle on P-chan and the result is pretty obvious.*
Ryoga: *Realizes most of the present company are girls* WAAH!
Mio: Ooohh! *squeals*
*Onishimasu wakes up*
Walum & Onishimasu: Get him some clothes! Get him some clothes!
All girls excluding The Mother: He's fine.
*Mio, as much as she'd like to see him without clothes, realizes it's humiliating and gets some clothes.*
Ryoga: Thank you.
Mio: He spoke to me! *faints*
Ryoga: Is she okay?
Jupiter: A bit of a fever, I think. *Ponders for a while, then develops an evil smile* Maybe you should take her up to bed.
Ryoga: O-okay.
*Mio opens her eyes as Ryoga picks her up, but quickly shuts them again as she notices its better is she still was faint.*
Ryoga: Where's the bedroom?
Jupiter: I dunno!
Ryoga: Are you the owner of this place?
Jupiter: Yup!
Onishimasu: And you don't know your own way around your own palace?
Jupiter: Nope!
*There's an awkward silence.*
Walum: Follow your heart.
Trowasgurl, The Mother & Jupiter: No! The heart is treacherous!
Walum: I mean, those heart shaped signs saying 'bedrooms' on them.
Ryoga: Okay. *Carries Mio upstairs*
*Everybody listens to see what's going on. There's silence. Everyone sighs.*
Walum: Now what?
Jupiter: Don't worry! I'm sure something will turn up.
*Just then, Ryo Hazuki comes running in.*
Ryo: Is there a doctor here? Ine-san's deathly ill!
Trowasgurl: Good.
Jupiter: Wow! Shenmue 3 already? Cool!
Ryo: I see.
The Mother: Shut up, for goodness sake!
Onishimasu: Do I get to see what Shenmue is now?
*A tall dark-haired girl waltzes in. She's wearing small glasses and mainly black.*
Girl: Evil baka! I'd better vanquish you before my loved one comes. *Steps on Ryo.*
Jupiter: Shandrea! You came!
Shandrea: *laughs* Of course!
Trowasgurl: Yay! You killed Ryo!
Shandrea: *Starry-eyed* Wow! Such style! Such marvelous style!
Jupiter: *Pushes Trowasgurl away.* Whateva! What d'ya mean by 'my loved one'?
Shandrea: Why Daniel, of course! *Jupiter looks blank. Shandrea frowns* You did remember to invite him, didn't you?
Jupiter: Erm.*Shandreas hands are dangerously close to Jupiter's throat* Well, I forgot, didn't I? I've never watched StarGate so how coul- *Shandrea starts throttling Jupiter.* AAAH!! O Great King of Ranma ½, help me!
*Walum restrains Shandrea*
Onishimasu: Why did you do that? It coulda got interesting!
Walum: Hmm. you're right, but it's not nice too have people fight. Especially not fights between Queens of Team Rocket and Queens of Sci-Fi!
An American voice: Man, you sound so like Quatre, apart from the bits with the Queens.
*Jupiter stiffens. SHE RECOGNIZES THE VOICE! Everyone turns around to see none other than Duo Maxwell*
The Mother: Hello there, Miss!
Duo: Huh?!
Jupiter: Duo's a guy, The Mother!
*Duo and The Mother shake hands.*
Duo: So this is what a mother's hand feels like.
Jupiter: Duo, honey, you're not Rei Kashino.
Shandrea: Since when did you call Duo, 'honey' and how's my Daniel gonna get here?!
Jupiter: Since my fanfic 'Duo, the spaceship and I'.
Trowasgurl & The Mother: Yeah, the one where you killed us off.
Shandrea: Yeah, that's all nice and dandy, but WHERE'S MY DANIEL?!
A female voice: Don't worry Shandrea, Jupiter's consulted me on that matter.
Shandrea: Bob! My heroine!
Jupiter: I did?
Bob: Yes!
Jupiter: Oh! I don't remember.
Duo: I do! You were drunk on Shenmue again!
Jupiter: Oh! That explains it!
Bob: Well, I must fly now! Enjoy! *Flies off into the sunset*
Walum: Well, that was weird.
Onishimasu: Yeah, especially considering it's only 11am.
*Both boys are playing poker. Ryoga is dragged down the stairs by Mio.*
Jupiter: Mio? Ryoga? What took you so long?
Mio: We got lost trying to find the stairs.
Trowasgurl: Great! 3 motor morons.
*Ryoga, Mio & Jupiter glare at Trowasgurl. There's a knocking.*
Jupiter: Password?
*Two voices answer. One is male with a slight hint of a French accident. The other is female that sounds like she's greatly hindered by a tongue piercings.*
Two voices: Yellow Sweaters, Pink Bananas, That's the password, To get your llamas.
Duo: What kind of password is that?
Jupiter: A good one! Come in!
*A guy and a girl enters wearing white Team Rocket uniforms with black bands. The guy looks totally normal pardoning his manic eyes. The girl, on the other hand, has long red in a plait down to her feet and so many piercings you'd expect her to start leaking at any minute. Her skirt was too short, she's wearing fishnets and has a nasty scowl on her face.*
Walum & Mio: Who're they?
Jupiter: These are two of my many characters from my fanfic, TRASH!, Jeremy and Meli!
Shandrea: Oh! So Meli is the infamous contridictionary virgin prostitute?
*Meli frowns even more and Jeremy bursts out laughing.*
Jupiter: *Giggling* Yes! Anyway, what are you two doing here?
Jeremy: Sailor Meowth sent us.
Mio: Jupiter, aren't you Sailor Meowth? *Jupiter nods* You can be in to places at once? Cool!
Jupiter: ^_^ Anyway, why are you here?
Meli: Well, we captured a suspicious lookin' guy on the way 'ere. 'e ain't from this worl'. 'e kept goin' on 'bout some flyin' girl.
Jeremy: Speak properly Meli! Anyway, you wanna see him?
Jupiter: Flying girl?! *Looks nervously at Shandrea, who isn't really paying much attention.* OK, but be gentle.
*Both Jeremy and Meli look blank as they have no knowledge on the term 'gentle'.*
Jupiter: Don't hurt him!
Jeremy & Meli: Ok!
*They bring out their captive. He is tied up and gagged. Shandrea immediately recognizes him.*
Shandrea: Daniel! Are you OK?
Daniel: Mmmmmphh! *She sets him free.* Thank you.er.
Shandrea: *blushes* Shandrea.
Bob: First time I've ever seen Shandrea look coy!
Jupiter: AAH! Bob! Quit doing that!
Bob: Okay! *Disappears*
Trowasgirl: Scary!
Onishimasu: Yeah! *looks around* Aaaah! Look at all the happy couples!
Jupiter: Yes! Even Squeaks seems to have taken a liking to you!
*Squeaks is sitting on his shoe.*
Onishimasu: *Pales* Oh.my.goodness! *Kicks his foot out so Squeaks goes flying. Jupiter runs after him.*
Jupiter: Squeaky! My baby! Are you OK? * Hugs him.*
Onishimasu: *rips silver tin foil off.* Stupid Guinea Pig Protection suit!! It isn't working!
Jupiter: Aaaah! Squeaks says he likes you!
The Mother: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Onishimasu: A very bad thing! Keep it away from me!
Duo: A man-eating guinea pig could be very good protection, especially against teachers who make you work too much!
Onishimasu: *considering* Hmm.
Walum: Hey! Where have Shandrea, Daniel, Mio and Ryoga got too?
The Mother: I don't know. I've got another pupil to torture! Oh Kenndy!
A small dark haired girl enters, sees The Mother and runs away, screaming. The Mother runs after her.*
Jupiter: Ah well! All's well that ends well! *Hugs Duo.*
*Everyone who's left gives her a weird look.*
A female voice: Hiya everyone!
*Meeko enters. She is rather small with long brown hair and blue eyes. She sees Jupiter hugging Duo and glares. Jupiter glares back.*
Duo: Uh oh!
*Brock appears between Onishimasu and Walum*
Brock: Catfight! Catfight!
Walum: O Queen of Team Rocket, will you please QUIT MAKING PEOPLE APPEAR AND DISAPPEAR!
Jupiter: I can't be bothered to do anything else!
*Meeko seizes her chance and glomps Duo.*
Jupiter: Hey! *Starts pulling at Meeko.* Get off him!
Meeko: Make me! And it's a free country!
*They argue.*
Another female voice: Hello!
*Question Mark enters. *
Duo: Uh oh! This just gets worse and worse.
*Jupiter glares at Question Mark and Question Mark glares back. Meeko, not knowing who Question Mark is, continues to snuggle Duo.*
Question Mark: *Spots Meeko and Duo.* Hey, get off MY Duo, @#*$#!
Jupiter & Meeko: YOUR Duo! He's MY Duo!
*They argue some more. And to make things worse, ANOTHER girl enters. She has brown hair and blue eyes also.*
Girl: *Looking scared* Hi! My name's Eve. Am I in the right place?
Walum: You're not another fan of Duo, are you?
Eve: Well, yes! I love Duo. Why?
*Both Onishimasu and Walum involuntary look over to the catfight. Eve at once loses her shyness and attacks Meeko, who is still hanging onto Duo for dear life.*
Duo: AAH! HELP ME!
*Runs behind Onishimasu and Walum. Just then, (why do I keep using that phrase?) a very tall dude enters. He.er.looks scarily like Sanosuke Zanza from Samurai X.*
Sanosuke: Foolish girls! Fighting over such a wimp!
Duo: Hey!
Walum: Is it just me or did that guy sound a little like Kuno?
Sanosuke: It is just you, 'cos I have no idea who Kuno is. (BTW- I know you probably do now Sano, but this was written a little while ago.^_^)
Mio: *Appearing again* Pathetic!
Sanosuke: It is not I who is pathetic it is-
Walum & Mio:*Look at each other.* Definitely Kuno!
Sanosuke: *Falls over anime style* --that braided freak behind you!
Duo: What?!
*Marches up to Sanosuke but hurts his neck looking up at him.*
Duo: Ow!
All 4 girls: Duo-chan! *They glomp him.* Poor Duo! *They turn around to face Sanosuke* You hurt him!
Sanosuke: I hurt him? I think you girls have squished him!
*They look at Duo.*
Duo: As much as I love the attention, could you please get off me?!
Meeko: Is that the guy we're supposed to beat up?
Jupiter: Well, yeah, but I've decided against.
Question Mark: Why?! He insulted Duo!
Jupiter: He downloaded a load of AMV's for me (PS. Thanks again, Sano!) and he offered to beat you up, Question Mark, if you gave me trouble over Duo.
Question Mark: What?!
Sano: And she is, isn't she? Mwahahahahaha! *Lifts sword above head*
Laura: *Turns to Jupiter.* You @#*$@!
Jupiter: Aaaah!! Bad words for my pure little ears!
*Duo silently creeps out a side door to the courtyard.*
Duo: Man, I can survive Gundam battles and being beaten up, but I don't think even Heero can survive being in the middle of a catfight.
*Meanwhile, it's lunchtime!*
Meeko: I want pie!
Jupiter: I don't eat!
Onishimasu: I want roast guinea pig! *Jupiter glares at him but he ignores her.*
Trowasgurl: Hey! *Pokes Ryo who is still lying on the floor.* I don't think he's dead! *Ryo gets up and runs away.*
Ryo: I want my Ine!
Walum: Ine? What's that?
Shandrea: A horrible.
Trowasgurl: pervy.
Jupiter: scary.
Shandrea, Trowasgurl & Jupiter: MONSTER!!
Mio: You mean like Happosai?
Jupiter: Even worse!
Ryoga: Wow.
"3 hours later. Everyone is just lying around being weird because my brain isn't working. No wonder! It's noon! I should still be in bed."*goes to sleep*
*Anyway, everyone's being as normal as possible for an otaku, when an old lady enters and stands in the doorway with a yellow feather duster. She starts dusting the frame but doesn't touch it. Trowasgurl, Shandrea and Jupiter stop talking and look at her in terror.*
Question Mark: Who's that?
Eve: And is she insane?! She's not even dusting anything!
Jupiter: It's her!
Shandrea: Ine-san!
Mio: That's Ine-san? She's just an old lady!
Onishimasu: What can she do?
*All stare at her as she dusts the air.*
Meeko: She is rather scary.
*Ine-san suddenly looks around and comes towards them making a noise like a mating guinea pig.*
All: AAAAAH!!!
Ine-san: I do hate to nag, but.there is no escape. There is no-
*Is cut short by the sound of wheels. A guy with blonde hair comes riding in and runs over Ine-san with his skate board.*
Guy: Hi! I finally made it. I-- *looks a bloody mess on the floor.* Oops! Have I done something wrong?
All: *Stands there and stares at him.*
Guy: Shall I take.er.it to the hospital?
Jupiter: No Link! Leave it!
Link: Ok!
Trowasgurl: You saved us!
Link: really?
All: Yeah!
*A girl, Kestrel, enters behind Link. She is tall and has Blonde curly hair.*
Kestrel: *Looks at mangled body on the floor.* Ooooooooo! Pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttyyy Paaaaaaaaaaaaateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrn!
Sanosuke: Yes. It's a lovely pattern.
Kestrel: *Looks up at Sano and crosses her eyes.* Pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyy Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr n!!
[Sano]: O_o
The End for now! Run out of inspiration!! .! Sorry I couldn't fit all my friends/penpals/elftown relations in, but I couldn't think what to do!!!! Anyhow, please tell me what ya think!
Notes: First fanfic I ever wrote!! I've included some of my penpals and friends and family etc. Please read, enjoy and review! Jupiter_Blossem@hotmail.com
Whose who?
Penpals Friends Family Pets
Mio Shandrea The Mother Squeaks Walum Kestrel Trowasgurl Pikmin Onishimasu Question Mark Link Bob Eve Sanosuke
Internet friends
Meeko
Pikmin Palace
By Jupiter Maxwell/Sailor Meowth
*Jupiter Maxwell stands behind the desk at the entrance hall of Pikmin Palace, waiting. She is wearing a long red hippy-skirt and a Ranma ½ top. Next to her stands her little sister, Trowasgurl. She is blonde and wearing a pink and white mesh top and pink parachute trousers. Jupiter has dark, honey blonde hair and thick framed red glasses. Both are grinning like maniacs and staring into nothingness.*
Trowasgurl: Gimme a hug!
Jupiter: *still smiling* Touch me and die!
*Ryo Hazuki enters*
Ryo: Hello Jupiter-san. On the day of incident did you see any men wearing black suits?
Jupiter: In black suits? No, I haven't! Sorry, Dyo.
Ryo: I see.and it's Ryo.
Jupiter: *Stares at him.well, past him.*
Ryo: *Shrugs and turns to leave.*
Trowasgurl: Wait, Dyo!
Ryo: What, Trowasgurl-san?
Trowasgurl: I did see some men in black suits with your father behind the dojo and they were.um. *Whispers something in Ryos ear*
Ryo: *Looking traumatized* I see.
*Ryo leaves the building*
*Jupiter and Trowasgurl laugh manically, sounding like constipated donkeys*
*The Mother enters*
The Mother: I have tortured yet another pupil with my constant wind! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Jupiter & Trowasgurl: Ooookaaay.
2 hours later.
Trowasgurl: My legs hurt! I'm tired! I'm bored! What is the point of this stupid place?
Jupiter: Shut up and have some chips!
Trowasgurl: Mmmm.chips.*drools*
Jupiter: AAAHH!! They're trying to assassinate me again!
The Mother: Good.
1 hour later.
*A girl in red Chinese clothing enters*
Girl: Nihao, Jupiter-san!
Jupiter: Konnichiwa, Mio-san!
Trowasgurl & The Mother: Who's that?
Jupiter: No one important!
Mio: Hey!
Jupiter: Sorry! I haven't insulted anyone all day! Anyhoo, Mio, could you do me a biiiig favour that you'll be rewarded for greatly?
Mio: *Suspiciously* What?
Jupiter: Boil a kettle!
All: Huh?!
Jupiter: *giggles* Later on, Walum, the King of Ranma ½, is coming by and he's bringing P-chan and, well, y'know I'm very phobic of pigs, if you get what I mean.
Mio:*Starry eyed* Yes! Yes!
Jupiter: *Cheeky grin*.and, as pigs don't wear clothes.
*Mio blushes and grins. She goes into the kitchen to boil a kettle.*
Trowasgurl: Do we even have a kitchen?
Jupiter: Duh! It's my palace! Of course I do! (B.T.W. - Davison's friends, the 'Duh' is said in the way as I did in our Science play at the end of Yr. 8.^_^)
*Squeaks are heard from afar.enter Squeaks, the man eating cannibal guinea pig and Pikmin, the hypo silver agouti guinea pig.*
The Mother: AAAHH! GET AWAY FIEND!! *Jumps onto nearby table*
*Squeaks looks at The Mother evilly and tries to jump onto the table, bearing salvia-dripping fangs, but is too obese to jump that high.*
The Mother: AAAHH!!
Jupiter: The Mother! Why are you screaming? He is only trying to make friends!
Trowasgurl:*Snorts* Yeah! And that's why he's trying to gnaw through the table legs top gat at her, is it?
Jupiter:*Stares at Trowasgurl.well, past her anyway.* What do you mean? Squeaks would never do a thing like that!
*Mio comes out of the kitchen to see what all the commotion is about.*
Mio: What's going on?
Jupiter: Question marks are cool!
Trowasgurl: Squeaks, Jupiter's man-eating guinea pig, is trying to eat The Mother again.*Sighs*
Mio: The Mother doesn't seem that bothered. *Looks at The Mother who is just standing playing a mysteriously gotten violin. Suddenly, she stops and looks back at Mio.*
The Mother: Call me Mrs. Walden.
Mio: Huh?! *Turns to Jupiter and Trowasgurl* Isn't your surname Brown?
Jupiter: Nope! Mine's Maxwell!
Trowasgurl: And mine's Barton!
Mio:*falls over anime style* No! I mean in reality!
Jupiter:*Looks serious* What's reality?
*Group eye-roll*
Trowasgurl: Yes, but The Mother thinks it's more refined to be called by her maiden name.
Mio: I see.
Trowasgurl & Jupiter: AAAHH!! She's turning into Hazuki! *Faints*
Mio: Huh?!
Trowasgurl: You're turning into Ryo Hazuki!
Mio: I see.
Jupiter: AAAAAHH!! She did it again!
*Pikmin, fed up of being ignored, decides to climb up the curtains near the doors. Just then, a tall young man wearing badly fitting tin foil over his black clothes and carrying a large hammer enters, cautiously.*
Jupiter: Good 'morrow, Onishimasu!
Onishimasu: Huh?! Oh yeah. Hi Jupi-
*Just then, Pikmin jumps down onto Onishimasus head.* Onishimasu: AAARGH!! Why isn't the guinea pig protection suit working! *Onishimasu lifts hammer above his head, so Pikmin quickly runs.*
Onishimasu: *Panting* that.wasn't the.man-eating one.was it?
Jupiter: No, that's the hypo one!
Trowasgurl: That's the man-eating one! *Points to Squeaks who is still trying to eat The Mother.*
Onishimasu: MWAHAHAHAHA!! I've got you now! *Creeps up on Squeaks with hammer held high above his head. Squeaks turns round, sees the hammer and dashes between Onishimasus legs.* Oi! Get back here! *Runs after Squeaks*
Jupiter: Oh Squeaks! My ickle baby! Don't hurt him! *Runs after Onishimasu as fast as her dyspraxic legs can take her.*
The Mother: Go get him Onishi-whateva! Good girl!
*Onishimasu stops running and turns around. Jupiter bumps into him and falls flat on her back. Onishimasu doesn't seem to notice.*
Onishimasu: What d'ya mean 'good girl'! I'm a guy!
The Mother: I know. Its just force of habit. *sighs* I suppose I'll have to buy you lollipops now.
Onishimasu: Yay!
*Meanwhile, Mio is looking at Pikmin with great interest.*
Mio: *To herself* Hmmm.a guinea PIG. I wonder if he will also turn into Ryoga. I can't wait until that guy, Walum, gets here, so I might as well try it!
*Fetches the freshly boiled kettle and pours it onto Pikmin. Pikmin squeals and turns into a pikmin and runs away.*
Mio: D'oh!
*Just then, a royal looking guy enters. He is wearing a crown, and a fur cape over his normal clothes. In one hand, he holds a golden scepter with a crystal panda on top and in the other is a leash. On the end of the leash is a little black piglet who we all know as P-chan.*
Royal guy: Hello!
Mio: You must be Walum, the King of Ranma ½.
Walum: I think so.
Mio: I am Mio, the QUEEN of Ranma ½. *She obviously hasn't noticed P-chan yet!*
*P-chan sniffs at Jupiter who is lying there with her eyes all swirly and her hands in the traditional Ranma ½ pose. Jupiter's eyes open.*
Jupiter: Huh?! A snout?! *She realizes* AAAHH!! IT'S A PIG! *Jumps onto the chandelier. Meanwhile, Onishimasu decides he's had enough and goes to sleep.*
Mio: *Hearts in her eyes* The moment is sooooo close!
Jupiter: Where's the kettle? Mio!
Mio: *Runs in to the kitchen and boils another kettle in record time.* Here we go-oo!
*Jupiter jumps down and slips over.*
Trowasgurl: Motor moron.
Jupiter: Shut up!
*Mio pours kettle on P-chan and the result is pretty obvious.*
Ryoga: *Realizes most of the present company are girls* WAAH!
Mio: Ooohh! *squeals*
*Onishimasu wakes up*
Walum & Onishimasu: Get him some clothes! Get him some clothes!
All girls excluding The Mother: He's fine.
*Mio, as much as she'd like to see him without clothes, realizes it's humiliating and gets some clothes.*
Ryoga: Thank you.
Mio: He spoke to me! *faints*
Ryoga: Is she okay?
Jupiter: A bit of a fever, I think. *Ponders for a while, then develops an evil smile* Maybe you should take her up to bed.
Ryoga: O-okay.
*Mio opens her eyes as Ryoga picks her up, but quickly shuts them again as she notices its better is she still was faint.*
Ryoga: Where's the bedroom?
Jupiter: I dunno!
Ryoga: Are you the owner of this place?
Jupiter: Yup!
Onishimasu: And you don't know your own way around your own palace?
Jupiter: Nope!
*There's an awkward silence.*
Walum: Follow your heart.
Trowasgurl, The Mother & Jupiter: No! The heart is treacherous!
Walum: I mean, those heart shaped signs saying 'bedrooms' on them.
Ryoga: Okay. *Carries Mio upstairs*
*Everybody listens to see what's going on. There's silence. Everyone sighs.*
Walum: Now what?
Jupiter: Don't worry! I'm sure something will turn up.
*Just then, Ryo Hazuki comes running in.*
Ryo: Is there a doctor here? Ine-san's deathly ill!
Trowasgurl: Good.
Jupiter: Wow! Shenmue 3 already? Cool!
Ryo: I see.
The Mother: Shut up, for goodness sake!
Onishimasu: Do I get to see what Shenmue is now?
*A tall dark-haired girl waltzes in. She's wearing small glasses and mainly black.*
Girl: Evil baka! I'd better vanquish you before my loved one comes. *Steps on Ryo.*
Jupiter: Shandrea! You came!
Shandrea: *laughs* Of course!
Trowasgurl: Yay! You killed Ryo!
Shandrea: *Starry-eyed* Wow! Such style! Such marvelous style!
Jupiter: *Pushes Trowasgurl away.* Whateva! What d'ya mean by 'my loved one'?
Shandrea: Why Daniel, of course! *Jupiter looks blank. Shandrea frowns* You did remember to invite him, didn't you?
Jupiter: Erm.*Shandreas hands are dangerously close to Jupiter's throat* Well, I forgot, didn't I? I've never watched StarGate so how coul- *Shandrea starts throttling Jupiter.* AAAH!! O Great King of Ranma ½, help me!
*Walum restrains Shandrea*
Onishimasu: Why did you do that? It coulda got interesting!
Walum: Hmm. you're right, but it's not nice too have people fight. Especially not fights between Queens of Team Rocket and Queens of Sci-Fi!
An American voice: Man, you sound so like Quatre, apart from the bits with the Queens.
*Jupiter stiffens. SHE RECOGNIZES THE VOICE! Everyone turns around to see none other than Duo Maxwell*
The Mother: Hello there, Miss!
Duo: Huh?!
Jupiter: Duo's a guy, The Mother!
*Duo and The Mother shake hands.*
Duo: So this is what a mother's hand feels like.
Jupiter: Duo, honey, you're not Rei Kashino.
Shandrea: Since when did you call Duo, 'honey' and how's my Daniel gonna get here?!
Jupiter: Since my fanfic 'Duo, the spaceship and I'.
Trowasgurl & The Mother: Yeah, the one where you killed us off.
Shandrea: Yeah, that's all nice and dandy, but WHERE'S MY DANIEL?!
A female voice: Don't worry Shandrea, Jupiter's consulted me on that matter.
Shandrea: Bob! My heroine!
Jupiter: I did?
Bob: Yes!
Jupiter: Oh! I don't remember.
Duo: I do! You were drunk on Shenmue again!
Jupiter: Oh! That explains it!
Bob: Well, I must fly now! Enjoy! *Flies off into the sunset*
Walum: Well, that was weird.
Onishimasu: Yeah, especially considering it's only 11am.
*Both boys are playing poker. Ryoga is dragged down the stairs by Mio.*
Jupiter: Mio? Ryoga? What took you so long?
Mio: We got lost trying to find the stairs.
Trowasgurl: Great! 3 motor morons.
*Ryoga, Mio & Jupiter glare at Trowasgurl. There's a knocking.*
Jupiter: Password?
*Two voices answer. One is male with a slight hint of a French accident. The other is female that sounds like she's greatly hindered by a tongue piercings.*
Two voices: Yellow Sweaters, Pink Bananas, That's the password, To get your llamas.
Duo: What kind of password is that?
Jupiter: A good one! Come in!
*A guy and a girl enters wearing white Team Rocket uniforms with black bands. The guy looks totally normal pardoning his manic eyes. The girl, on the other hand, has long red in a plait down to her feet and so many piercings you'd expect her to start leaking at any minute. Her skirt was too short, she's wearing fishnets and has a nasty scowl on her face.*
Walum & Mio: Who're they?
Jupiter: These are two of my many characters from my fanfic, TRASH!, Jeremy and Meli!
Shandrea: Oh! So Meli is the infamous contridictionary virgin prostitute?
*Meli frowns even more and Jeremy bursts out laughing.*
Jupiter: *Giggling* Yes! Anyway, what are you two doing here?
Jeremy: Sailor Meowth sent us.
Mio: Jupiter, aren't you Sailor Meowth? *Jupiter nods* You can be in to places at once? Cool!
Jupiter: ^_^ Anyway, why are you here?
Meli: Well, we captured a suspicious lookin' guy on the way 'ere. 'e ain't from this worl'. 'e kept goin' on 'bout some flyin' girl.
Jeremy: Speak properly Meli! Anyway, you wanna see him?
Jupiter: Flying girl?! *Looks nervously at Shandrea, who isn't really paying much attention.* OK, but be gentle.
*Both Jeremy and Meli look blank as they have no knowledge on the term 'gentle'.*
Jupiter: Don't hurt him!
Jeremy & Meli: Ok!
*They bring out their captive. He is tied up and gagged. Shandrea immediately recognizes him.*
Shandrea: Daniel! Are you OK?
Daniel: Mmmmmphh! *She sets him free.* Thank you.er.
Shandrea: *blushes* Shandrea.
Bob: First time I've ever seen Shandrea look coy!
Jupiter: AAH! Bob! Quit doing that!
Bob: Okay! *Disappears*
Trowasgirl: Scary!
Onishimasu: Yeah! *looks around* Aaaah! Look at all the happy couples!
Jupiter: Yes! Even Squeaks seems to have taken a liking to you!
*Squeaks is sitting on his shoe.*
Onishimasu: *Pales* Oh.my.goodness! *Kicks his foot out so Squeaks goes flying. Jupiter runs after him.*
Jupiter: Squeaky! My baby! Are you OK? * Hugs him.*
Onishimasu: *rips silver tin foil off.* Stupid Guinea Pig Protection suit!! It isn't working!
Jupiter: Aaaah! Squeaks says he likes you!
The Mother: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Onishimasu: A very bad thing! Keep it away from me!
Duo: A man-eating guinea pig could be very good protection, especially against teachers who make you work too much!
Onishimasu: *considering* Hmm.
Walum: Hey! Where have Shandrea, Daniel, Mio and Ryoga got too?
The Mother: I don't know. I've got another pupil to torture! Oh Kenndy!
A small dark haired girl enters, sees The Mother and runs away, screaming. The Mother runs after her.*
Jupiter: Ah well! All's well that ends well! *Hugs Duo.*
*Everyone who's left gives her a weird look.*
A female voice: Hiya everyone!
*Meeko enters. She is rather small with long brown hair and blue eyes. She sees Jupiter hugging Duo and glares. Jupiter glares back.*
Duo: Uh oh!
*Brock appears between Onishimasu and Walum*
Brock: Catfight! Catfight!
Walum: O Queen of Team Rocket, will you please QUIT MAKING PEOPLE APPEAR AND DISAPPEAR!
Jupiter: I can't be bothered to do anything else!
*Meeko seizes her chance and glomps Duo.*
Jupiter: Hey! *Starts pulling at Meeko.* Get off him!
Meeko: Make me! And it's a free country!
*They argue.*
Another female voice: Hello!
*Question Mark enters. *
Duo: Uh oh! This just gets worse and worse.
*Jupiter glares at Question Mark and Question Mark glares back. Meeko, not knowing who Question Mark is, continues to snuggle Duo.*
Question Mark: *Spots Meeko and Duo.* Hey, get off MY Duo, @#*$#!
Jupiter & Meeko: YOUR Duo! He's MY Duo!
*They argue some more. And to make things worse, ANOTHER girl enters. She has brown hair and blue eyes also.*
Girl: *Looking scared* Hi! My name's Eve. Am I in the right place?
Walum: You're not another fan of Duo, are you?
Eve: Well, yes! I love Duo. Why?
*Both Onishimasu and Walum involuntary look over to the catfight. Eve at once loses her shyness and attacks Meeko, who is still hanging onto Duo for dear life.*
Duo: AAH! HELP ME!
*Runs behind Onishimasu and Walum. Just then, (why do I keep using that phrase?) a very tall dude enters. He.er.looks scarily like Sanosuke Zanza from Samurai X.*
Sanosuke: Foolish girls! Fighting over such a wimp!
Duo: Hey!
Walum: Is it just me or did that guy sound a little like Kuno?
Sanosuke: It is just you, 'cos I have no idea who Kuno is. (BTW- I know you probably do now Sano, but this was written a little while ago.^_^)
Mio: *Appearing again* Pathetic!
Sanosuke: It is not I who is pathetic it is-
Walum & Mio:*Look at each other.* Definitely Kuno!
Sanosuke: *Falls over anime style* --that braided freak behind you!
Duo: What?!
*Marches up to Sanosuke but hurts his neck looking up at him.*
Duo: Ow!
All 4 girls: Duo-chan! *They glomp him.* Poor Duo! *They turn around to face Sanosuke* You hurt him!
Sanosuke: I hurt him? I think you girls have squished him!
*They look at Duo.*
Duo: As much as I love the attention, could you please get off me?!
Meeko: Is that the guy we're supposed to beat up?
Jupiter: Well, yeah, but I've decided against.
Question Mark: Why?! He insulted Duo!
Jupiter: He downloaded a load of AMV's for me (PS. Thanks again, Sano!) and he offered to beat you up, Question Mark, if you gave me trouble over Duo.
Question Mark: What?!
Sano: And she is, isn't she? Mwahahahahaha! *Lifts sword above head*
Laura: *Turns to Jupiter.* You @#*$@!
Jupiter: Aaaah!! Bad words for my pure little ears!
*Duo silently creeps out a side door to the courtyard.*
Duo: Man, I can survive Gundam battles and being beaten up, but I don't think even Heero can survive being in the middle of a catfight.
*Meanwhile, it's lunchtime!*
Meeko: I want pie!
Jupiter: I don't eat!
Onishimasu: I want roast guinea pig! *Jupiter glares at him but he ignores her.*
Trowasgurl: Hey! *Pokes Ryo who is still lying on the floor.* I don't think he's dead! *Ryo gets up and runs away.*
Ryo: I want my Ine!
Walum: Ine? What's that?
Shandrea: A horrible.
Trowasgurl: pervy.
Jupiter: scary.
Shandrea, Trowasgurl & Jupiter: MONSTER!!
Mio: You mean like Happosai?
Jupiter: Even worse!
Ryoga: Wow.
"3 hours later. Everyone is just lying around being weird because my brain isn't working. No wonder! It's noon! I should still be in bed."*goes to sleep*
*Anyway, everyone's being as normal as possible for an otaku, when an old lady enters and stands in the doorway with a yellow feather duster. She starts dusting the frame but doesn't touch it. Trowasgurl, Shandrea and Jupiter stop talking and look at her in terror.*
Question Mark: Who's that?
Eve: And is she insane?! She's not even dusting anything!
Jupiter: It's her!
Shandrea: Ine-san!
Mio: That's Ine-san? She's just an old lady!
Onishimasu: What can she do?
*All stare at her as she dusts the air.*
Meeko: She is rather scary.
*Ine-san suddenly looks around and comes towards them making a noise like a mating guinea pig.*
All: AAAAAH!!!
Ine-san: I do hate to nag, but.there is no escape. There is no-
*Is cut short by the sound of wheels. A guy with blonde hair comes riding in and runs over Ine-san with his skate board.*
Guy: Hi! I finally made it. I-- *looks a bloody mess on the floor.* Oops! Have I done something wrong?
All: *Stands there and stares at him.*
Guy: Shall I take.er.it to the hospital?
Jupiter: No Link! Leave it!
Link: Ok!
Trowasgurl: You saved us!
Link: really?
All: Yeah!
*A girl, Kestrel, enters behind Link. She is tall and has Blonde curly hair.*
Kestrel: *Looks at mangled body on the floor.* Ooooooooo! Pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttyyy Paaaaaaaaaaaaateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrn!
Sanosuke: Yes. It's a lovely pattern.
Kestrel: *Looks up at Sano and crosses her eyes.* Pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyy Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr n!!
[Sano]: O_o
The End for now! Run out of inspiration!! .! Sorry I couldn't fit all my friends/penpals/elftown relations in, but I couldn't think what to do!!!! Anyhow, please tell me what ya think!