It was the first of September. Students milled everywhere on platform nine and three quarters. Hermione Granger bumped into a tall, dark haired man, almost falling over, and gasped.
"Harry! So good to see you!" she squealed. He turned and smiled, his perfect white teeth shining and his greener than grass eyes smiling. His black hair, always uncontrollable, looked like a separate entity living on his head but carefully parted to show off that famous scar. He was a billion feet tall and had more muscles than Hercules from playing Quidditch all summer. Nobody remembered that he was the Seeker, which required him to sit on a fast broom and grab a ball once a game, not to actually move.
"Hermione, so good to see you too," he purred, and he meant it. Hermione had changed over the summer too. Her boobs were bigger than her head, easily, and she looked practically anorexic because her waist was so small. Her eyes were like twin pools of diarrhea, so liquidly brown. Her hair was waist length and completely straight, not to mention dyed several different colors. She wore nothing but a skimpy white bikini and stiletto heels and had piercings up the wazoo. Nobody asked why she didn't have clothes on in the train station.
All these combined to make her easily the hottest girl in the whole entire universe. Ron Weasley appeared through the wall and came over to the reunion. He clapped a hand to Harry's shoulder. "Harry, Hermione," he boomed, "so good to see you." Hermione almost fainted at the sight of Ron. He was still around seven or eight feet tall, but the rest of his body was no longer gangly. His arms and torso rippled with muscles like bananas mating. His red hair was being worn long now, coming down over his forehead and getting in his eyes. His blue eyes were bluer than a swimming pool, and his freckles had merged into one giant tan.
Hermione couldn't decide which one had gotten hotter over the summer, which nobody seemed to remember had only lasted 3 months. It was perfectly acceptable for one of them to have grown two feet and the other to have tripled his body weight in muscle, all while playing a game that didn't really require exercise. She was so worked up over comparing her two friends that she didn't notice someone else sneaking up on her until it was too late.
She felt someone pinch her bottom and she whirled around, causing one of her stilettos to snap. She fell over, spraining her ankle in the process. "Oh Merlin," she whined pathetically. She pulled out her wand and muttered a quick healing spell ("Fixus Anklus")and another spell to repair her stiletto ("Fixus Heelus") and then looked up to see the moron responsible for the entire mess.
A mass of silvery blonde hair leered back down at her. His grey eyes were focused on her boobs which were spilling out of the three square inches of fabric she thought was a shirt. "Damn," Hermione said out loud without meaning to. "Malfoy, you got hot!"
He smirked that trademark smirk that everyone has got to know about by now. "I know, right?" he said. "And I'm head boy too." He helped her up.
"I know, I'm head girl," Hermione said breathlessly. She couldn't stop staring.
"Too bad there's no way in hell people who are in charge of a school would put a male and a female student in the same tower, alone. Honestly, can you believe anyone would leave a pair of teenagers like that all year? Anyway, I've got to be off. So good to see you." He walked away. Hermione stared after him. Inside she knew that she had always hated Malfoy but hey, he was one fine piece of ass now. She added him to her list of men to sleep with, which, other than Draco, consisted of Harry and Ron, because she had become aslut over the summer. She fantasized about them as she boarded the train dreamily.
She walked to the compartment she normally shared with her friends and entertained one last thought of hooking up with the three boys. She pulled open the door and gasped. She couldn't believe her eyes.
Turns out all three of the fine boys on Hermione's list were gay and horny. They hadn't even waited for the train to start moving before piling into one compartment and engaging in a homosexual threesome.
Hermione realized she probably deserved this because of what a whore she'd turned into.
A/N Sorry to all you who find yourselves dragged into the same fanfic over and over. You know, the usual "Draco got hot. He's head boy. Hermione got hot. She's head girl. Dumbledore lost his brain and makes them live together. They have sex," with the ending that has them falling in love. A pregnant Hermione is always an option too. I just thought I'd point out the ridiculousness of that story. Also, the words to spells in other fanfics are always so stupidly transparent, like "Fixus Heelus" for Hermione to fix the heel of her shoe.
Hope you enjoyed. :)