A/N: In "Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey", the duo must defeat the Grim Reaper in order to win their way back to the living world. We see them beat him in Battleships, Clue, the vibrating Electric Football and Twister. Did you know they tried a few other games as well in between? For purposes of this story the Grim Reaper is abbreviated "GR".
Game On
Growling, the Grim Reaper ("GR") swiped the football player figures off the vibrating field.
"Best of seven?" asked Bill S. Preston, Esq. GR had already welshed on his offer twice to release them from death; there was no reason to believe he wouldn't do it again.
"Damn right!" death's representative shouted, angry at being beaten again by the two.
...
The two faced each other in the dimly lit room, a single overhead light illuminating their struggle. GR and Ted "Theodore" Logan looked not at their opponent, but at the multi-colored cubes in their hands as they twisted and turned, pausing to think before resuming in sporadic bursts of effort.
"Come on Ted, first one to finish wins" Bill encouraged.
"I got the blue side and the white side, but I keep messing up with the yellow" he said.
"I've got four sides" GR laughed, holding up his cube for a moment to boast.
"You missed one in the middle, dude" Ted pointed out.
GR examined his cube, found the square out of place and gave out an anguished "Arrrgh!" before returning to the challenge.
An hour later neither had made much progress. "So Death, call it a draw?" Ted offered.
"We draw and I count the game as a loss for you" GR grinned.
"No way! You said we stay here forever if we lose. No one loses in a draw" Bill argued. "It's almost like a tie."
"A technicality; you didn't win."
"Shall we take it up with...Him?" Ted asked, looking upward.
GR hesitated. "Errr, no...only because I don't want to take too long" he explained.
Bill leaned over and whispered "It's eternity down here and he's worried about time? Sounds like he's scared of the boss" to Ted. Both snickered.
"Shut up! What do we play next?" GR complained.
...
"Is there...a 'G'?" Bill asked.
"No 'G' in it" GR grinned. He drew a leg on the stick figure below the gallows. He looked at his notes:
_ E _ H _ R
before continuing with his guess. "Is there...a 'T'?" he asked confidently.
Bill and Ted both grinned. "No 'T' dude" Bill said as he added an arm to the stick figure he was drawing. "One more arm to go!" He looked at his notes:
_ E A T _
"Is there an 'H'?" he asked.
"There...is an 'H'" GR sighed. Ted gave Bill a high five before he wrote down the letter. "Playing Hangman with the Grim Reaper; whoa!"
GR looked at the partial word in front of him again.
"Is there...no wait, I already guessed that one...what goes with an 'H'...is there a 'P'?"
Bill and Ted exchanged a solemn look, then broke into laughter. "No 'P'! You're hung, man" Bill announced as he drew the last arm.
"Wait, you still have to put fingers on the end of the arms..."
"No way, you lost again! By the way, was your word 'Death'? Gotta say, kind of a giveaway" Ted taunted. "We are most victorious again!"
"What was your word? No vowels except an 'E', it can't be a word."
"Zephyr, dude."
"There is no such word."
"Sure, it's a wind thing. And a Mercury too I think, my aunt had one" Bill said smugly.
"Best five out of nine, right?" Ted asked.
"Since you insist" GR mumbled.
...
"What do you mean forfeit?" GR asked.
"Your most heinous act of cutting the tetherball rope with your scythe ended the game after the ball rolled into those flames" Ted scolded. "Equipment abuse means forfeit."
"It wasn't my fault, it just sticks up so far and when the ball came around..."
"We totally understand," Bill added "you totally rock the look with it; you just have to lay it down sometimes."
"Lay it down? Lay it down? You don't know what type of people are down here...it would disappear just like that!" GR bemoaned, snapping his fingers to accentuate his plea. "How do you know so much about tetherball anyway?"
"San Dimas Elementary 5th grade champion!" Ted did an air guitar riff and Bill joined in. "Get a locker next time dude. Up for another go?"
"Bring it on."
...
All three sat on the floor in a circle facing each other, separated by several feet.
"You lose."
"No I don't. Look at the floor; do you see any left?" GR demanded.
"Doesn't matter," Bill countered "you know the rules. Me and Ted got to fivesies, you didn't so you lose."
"But I picked them all up! Do you see any jacks on the floor?"
"Check you hand" Ted said flatly.
Death opened his hand to reveal four jacks and a rubber ball. There was no fifth jack. "I...I...don't understand it. I'm not cheating!"
"Now check your sleeve" Ted suggested.
GR shook the right sleeve to his robe and a jack fell out.
"You swept it into your sleeve by mistake. It could happen to anyone...who wears death robes!" Bill chortled.
Their opponent growled. "Know any other games?"
...
GR looked at the upturned card Bill had just played. A red five stared back at him from the table as he switched his gaze to his hand of three cards. His choice of a green five, a red seven and a yellow draw two lay before him. He tried to play the yellow draw two.
"Illegal card, death. Use another or draw" Ted admonished.
"Sorry, my mistake" GR covered as he took back the offending card; the ploy didn't work. He considered again.
"Any time you're ready" Bill prodded.
"Don't rush me!" He started to play the red seven, then switched and played the green five instead.
Ted played a green reverse, a blue reverse, a blue skip while calling "Uno!" and then a draw four to finish the game. "You're toast, dude!"
"Now I remember why I hate card games!" GR anguished as he threw down the two left in his hand.
"Give up yet?" Bill asked as he leaned over.
"Not as long as I draw breath."
"Ted," Bill whispered "does he even breathe?"
"Sure he does, just take a whiff when he gets close." Bill inhaled deeply and held it for a moment before choking.
"Bogus" he managed to croak out.
"Good thing there isn't a halitosis game, he'd win for sure" Ted whispered back.
"Come on, get on with the next game" Death said impatiently.
"How about a spin around 'The Game of Life' board?" Bill leered.
"The Game of Life? Now you're mocking me. Any game but that."
"Got a Twister game?"
The End
A/N: Just an idea for a few more games they might have played before moving on to the final game of Twister. I was going to put in a game of Monopoly but the explanation would have taken as long as the game...