disclaimer: 1.well I don't own Sonic the hog! 2. who wants to live forever written by Queen, 1986, Queen pwns, ect.
Sonic hopped into his automobile, a 1988 Honda Accord. He turned on the radio and decided to settle for the song "Another One Bites The Dust" by Queen. He began to sing along.
"Steve walks wearily down the street, with the brim pulled way down low!" yelled Sonic out the window he turned it up.
"Ain't no sound but sound of his feet, Machines guns way down low!" yelled Sonic out the window. Someone yelled at him.
"Are you ready, are you ready for this, are you hangin' on the edge of you seat?" yelled Sonic, "I don't know where the bullets rip, get the sound of the beat, Yeah!"
"Another one bites the crust, Another one bites the crust!" yelled Sonic to a hobo.
Since Sonic was loaded on moonshine, he didn't know why he was in his car in the first place. He turned around and went back home.
Sonic picked out a bottle of Jack Daniels and started to drink.
"I don't know why, 'scuse me, while I kiss this guy!" yelled Sonic, as he ran down to the first floor of his apartment building without closing the door. He ran across the street into a record store.
"Where do you keep the 8 tracks?" said a kid with ripped jeans.
"8 TRACKS? WHAT THE HELL PLANET DO YOU COME FROM?" said Sonic, beating him. Police appeared and threw Sonic into the police car.
"Now, why did you beat that kid up?" said a policeman, with the brim pulled way down low.
"My name is Sonic the Hedgehog and I live in Queens, New York. I have an estranged cousin, Judas Priest the hedgehog, who lived in North Dakota. I like visiting record stores, listening to Queen, and drinking Jack Daniels, bar brand tequila, and moonshine," said Sonic, tapping his foot.
"Ah, your free to go," said the police officer, pulling out a cigarette.
"I'm in need of more sandoz," said Sonic, as he walked wearily down the street with the brim pulled way down low.
As Sonic arrived home, he noticed the mail had come. He had received his album Led Zeppelin II from , his Queen poster from all , a letter from his cousin Judas Priest the Hedgehog, a toy marionette, and a travel brochure for Missouri.
He took his Queen poster and hung it on the wall he stared at it for 2 hours, but then got loaded up on more moonshine. He sat on his couch drinking Jack Daniels all night long.
The next day, Tails invited him to a tea party.
"No way man," said Sonic, as he put on Queen's album A Kind of Magic, "I have to drink Jack Daniels and drop more sandoz, maybe some other time I'll come to your house for crumpets."
Sonic decided right then he was going to become a famous rock star. He packed his bags. He locked the door to his apartment and ran down all the flights of stairs while loaded on moonshine.
He ran into a taxi. It picked him up.
"Take me to downtown New York City," said Sonic, because he lived in Queens, and since there were no record companies in Queens, he decided to go downtown.
Since Sonic was having a hangover he fell asleep.
Sonic the hedgehog woke up in the back of the taxi he was riding in to New York city.
"That will be $122.78," said the driver, stopping the taxi in front of the empire state building.
"What! I don't have that kind of money!" yelled Sonic, running out and lighting a cigarette.
He ran into a New York City nightclub to watch a band perform.
A 22 year old man with long greasy hair and ripped jeans, a man aged 21 with long black wavy hair, and another man aged 23 with a perm stepped up to the stage with their instruments.
"Well, this songs called "Who Wants to Live Forever", it's about my uncle who has AIDS, all lyrics written by me," said the man with the perm.
They began the lyrics.
There's no chance for us…
It's all decided for us…
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us…
"BOOO!!! YOUR RIPPING OFF QUEEN! YOUR STEALING FROM QUEEN, YOU PHONEY SHITS!!" jeered Sonic, taking a cocktail.
"Hey, we only want lots of money and to be on MTV!" yelled the man with the greasy hair.
Sonic continued jeering, but they continued playing.
The man with greasy hair that played guitar went into a solo.
"BOOOOOO!!!!! YOU SUCK!!!!! YOU VAN HALEN WANNABEE!" yelled Sonic as loud as possible.
"I know I'm a below average guitarist, but I just want some money," he said, lighting a cigarette.
Several men in tuxedos approached the stage.
"We would like to offer you kids a record deal," said one of them.
"We're going to make you the next Led Zeppelin," said another, trying to lure them in, "Your song "Who Wants to Live Forever" is so original."
"NO ITS NOT!!! THEY STOLE IT FROM QUEEN! DON'T GIVE THEM A RECORD DEAL!!! THEY SUCK!!!" yelled Sonic out of jealousy.
"Yeah that sound great," said the man with a perm, "I wrote it while in the bathtub."
"NOO! QUEEN WROTE IT IN 1986!!! YOU IDIOT!! YOU PHONEY!!!" yelled Sonic.
"I also wrote a song called "Another One Bites the Dust". Do you want to hear it?' said the man with the perm.
"NOO! THAT SONG IS ALSO BY QUEEN!!! YOU ARE A PHONEY…A PHONEY!!!" yelled Sonic.
"Hello, you seem like an interesting character, what's your name?" said one of the men in tuxedos.
"I'm Sonic and I came to New York to be a rock star!" yelled Sonic.
"A rock star? Come along with us then," said the other man from the record company.
"Hey what about us?' said the man with long greasy hair.
"You? No one cares about you! You only rip off Queen!" said one of the record executives, as they both grabbed Sonic's arm to drag him to the record company.
9 days later, Sonic was already on the cover of Rolling Stone, had won 3 Grammy awards, had a platinum album entitled A Night at the Opera,was inducted into the rock and Roll hall of fame, and was wearing a fur coat.
"I just contracted AIDS," said Sonic to the public. He died 12 hours later.