I Just Want To Be OK

Harry reached for his watch early one morning. He looked at its blurry face and saw that it was 5:14AM, still much too early to be awake. He sighed and reached for his glasses. He had woken up before 6AM every day since defeating Voldemort a couple of weeks ago. He figured it was probably because his body was still running on camping-in-the-woods-searching-for-horcruxes time, although the nightmares probably didn't help either. At night he still saw the faces of those he had lost; Sirius, Dumbledore, Fred, Lupin, Tonks. He woke up at least 3 times a night covered in sweat and sometimes tears as well. No one knew about these nightmares, though, because he didn't want to worry anyone. The Weasleys were trying to hold it together the best they could but George hadn't left his room since they had finally gotten home and Mrs. Weasley still cried at night. Everyone pretended that they didn't hear it because they knew she didn't want people to know.

Harry and Hermione had moved into the burrow temporarily. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley insisted that they stay with them, for a little while at least, and they hadn't argued. Hermione was working on finding her parents now that it was safe for them to come back, but she had hidden them so well that it would take some time for her to locate them again.
At night after he had a nightmare, sometimes he would get up and check on each Weasley, plus Hermione, to reassure himself that they were still alive. He couldn't help the pang in his chest when he saw Fred's empty bed.

That night as he was doing his usual check in on the sleeping Weasleys, plus Hermione, he peeked into Ginny's room and saw that she was awake as well. She looked like she was not surprised to see him at 5 O' clock in the morning. He opened his mouth to say something, to explain maybe, but she shook her head and motioned to a sleeping Hermione in the spare bed beside hers. She quietly climbed out of bed and tip toed over to him. She grabbed his hand and led him to the kitchen. She didn't let him speak until they were sitting at the table with a cup of tea in each of their hands.

"I'm sorry Ginny. I hope I didn't wake you, I just... I needed to see that you were ok," he mumbled in one breath. She nodded understandingly.

"It's ok Harry, sometimes I feel the same way. Sometimes it really doesn't feel like it's over even though I know it is," she looked away and sighed and then looked back up at him, "But Harry that still doesn't explain why you've been waking up early every morning since we got home." She noticed his surprised face, "Yes, I know you've been doing this every night. I woke up early after a," she faltered and sighed, "a bad dream a couple of nights ago and heard you come in. I pretended to be asleep but I peeked and saw that it was you. I've been waking up early every morning since then to see if you would be awake and you have been. I assumed that it was something you've been doing since we got home and I can see now that I was right."
She looked at him as though challenging him to deny it. He didn't though because she was right and they both knew that. He sighed.

"I haven't been able to sleep well. The," he sighed again and ran a hand through his already messy hair, "nightmares have been waking me up and I feel this, this panic and I just, I need to see you, all of you, to reassure myself that they were only dreams." He put his head in his hands and groaned softly. "I'm afraid to sleep but I'm so tired. I'm so tired," he whispered.

Ginny felt her heart aching for him. For everything the man in front of her had gone through, and for the pain he was feeling now. She reached out to him and pulled him into a hug. He rested his head on her shoulder and started to cry softly.

"It's ok," she murmured, "I'm here, we're safe, it's going to be ok, it's not your fault."

Time passed but they took no notice of it. They stayed like that, him crying on her shoulder, her stoking his hair and whispering comforting words into his ear, for as long as they needed. Eventually they noticed the sun light starting to filter into the kitchen through the window and Harry's sobs subsided. He gave a shuddering breathe, feeling as though a weight had been lifted off of his chest. He hadn't told anyone about his sadness and pain because he had still felt guilty over everything, the deaths, the families in mourning, the whole goddamn war. He hadn't felt like he deserved to ask for sympathy or understanding from anybody. But Ginny had given it to him without being asked. She told him the words he so desperately needed to hear, 'it's not your fault'. He looked up at her and she gave him a small smile.

"We should go back to bed," she whispered. Harry nodded and they made their way back upstairs. They stopped at Harry and Ron's room first. Harry looked at Ginny and realized he didn't want her to leave him just yet. He was still afraid of the nightmares that haunted him. She noticed his hesitation.

"I could stay for a bit, until you fall asleep if you want," she said.

Harry nodded and gave her a small, grateful smile. They quietly got into the bed. They lay next to each other, barely touching except for their hands that were tightly locked together. For the first time in weeks, Harry slept undisturbed.

That is of course until Ron woke up and saw his sister and best friend sharing a bed. When Harry and Ginny woke up the first sight they was of an angry, red faced Ron and an amused Hermione trying to placate him. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were watching on with fond expressions on their faces and Ron was quite annoyed at their lack of reaction. Only when the commotion had died down, and Harry and Ginny had finally convinced Ron that all they had done was sleep, did they notice George standing in the doorway with a diluted version of the trademark Weasley twin grin on his face. Everyone went silent as George spoke for the first time since Fred's funeral.

"Well Ginny, all of the girls are going to be jealous of you when they hear that you've been sleeping with the famous Harry Potter." Everyone stared at him with slack jaws for a moment until finally Ginny squeaked,

"George!"

and turned a bright shade of red. Everyone started to chuckle quietly and soon the room was filled with laughter. Although everyone was probably more giddy from the relief of George's participation in the world than from the actual joke. The day that followed felt lighter and more hopeful than any had in a long time.

Things wouldn't go back to the way they were before, they couldn't, but for the first time it felt like maybe they could feel normal, maybe even happy, again someday. Harry's nightmares disappeared and he slept the whole night through every night for the next month, and when he did have another nightmare, Ginny was there to comfort him and this time George remembered to take some pictures of Ron's reaction.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, don't rub it in

So I started this a while ago but I've been busy/distracted/lazy and I didn't finish it until like 5 minutes ago at like 12:45AM. So excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes. I don't have an editor or anything, I do it all myself so if anyone sees any mistakes just let me know. I feel like I may have mixed up some tenses so let me know if you notice any of that. I hope you guys like this story, I felt like after the war it would still be kind of angsty for Harry for a bit so I decided to write about what I imagined might happen in a situation like that with nightmares and stuff so ya. Reviews are what I live off of so give me plenty please =) Although anyone who even just reads this story gets a cookie =) Thanks
~Brie