Hi, this is an idea I had after reading my friends' Maximum and Rubypheonix13's FanFic 'Five shades of red'.

I do not own Sherlock or anything you may recognise.

This is my first FanFic so tell me if i need to change anything, i hope you like it. :D x

The Crisp Paradox

Sherlock and John enter their flat.

'But how do you know the uncle was the killer?' John inquired.

'Well, the sus-' Sherlock was interrupted by Mrs Hudson calling up from downstairs.

'I've got you two a few little nibbles from the shop, they're on the table.'

'Thank you Mrs Hudson,' John called back... He looked at Sherlock.

'Oh your not going to lecture me on 'common courtesy' again, are you?'

'It's polite.'

'IRRELEVANT! ... Moving on, the suspenders were the first clue, but the cufflinks just made it obvious.'

'Well, I think they looked like yours,' *suggestive eyebrows*.

'Don't be ridiculous... All of mine have buttons'

'They were buttons!'

'John, I bet even Anderson could tell the difference.'

They broke out into laughter.

'Hahaha, no Anderson wouldn't even be able to tell they were cufflinks,' sherlock insulted Anderson as easy as he could name all of the elements (like clockwork) 'I doubt he even noticed the suspenders.'

'I did see something funny with the suspenders, I didn't think it would be particularly relevant to the case.'

'EVERYthing is relevant.'

'Even that the earth orbits the sun?'

Sherlock gave John a very un-amused look.

'We are not going through this again.'

'But still...'

'No, or i'll go to the cafe with the skull again, not you!' he said hiding a slight smile.

'No! You are not doing that again it took an hour to stop that little girl crying!'

'Jealous are we?'

'That you made a little girl cry? Yes, I'm green with envy(!).'

'... sarcasm?'

*Sigh* 'No Sherlock(!).'

'Was that sarcasm?'

'Yes.'

'Was th-?'

'Sherlock! Stop!' John interupted him.

'Hmm ...'

'What now?'

'Ready salted,' sherlock murmured. He called down 'Can you get barbeque next time Mrs Hudson?'

'Not your house keeper,' she called back.

'What's wrong with ready salted?'

'You wont understand, the skull does however,' sherlock smirked.

'Well, I don't know what kind of relationship you and your skull share, but stop bringing the skull into conversation, especially in public... People talk!'

'They do little else'

Sherlock took the eyeballs out of the microwave and put in a small microwavable pizza.

'Why do you keep them in there?' John grimaced as they swung past his face.

'I've told you over and over-'

'It's an experiment, I know.'

'Then why did you ask? Well, actually ...… Hm interesting.'

'Fascinating(!)'

'It is isn't it?'

'No, what you find interesting.'

'Well, experiment is over.'

'Thank god! So can we finally throw them away? They've been in there for over a month!'

'No! I have just thought of another experiment. Put them in the sugar bowl!'

'I am NOT going to put them into the sugar bowl! And could you please clean the microwave before you put food in it?'

'If you don't like it you're not having any of my pizza.'

A few minutes later the *ding* of the microwave broke the silence.

'Would you get that out?' Asked Sherlock.

'Yeah sure... oh ha ha,' he said sarcastically, 'Good one Sherlock, where's the pizza?'

'John, don't play games, I want my pizza.'

'Well, ... The pizza has Disapparated.'

'Stop talking about Harry Potter. The most possible explanation is you are trying to mess with me and childishly hid the pizza, an improbable answer would be that someone has broken in to our flat to steal a microwave pizza.' Sherlock chuckled to himself.

'... Well, hi there.' The chuckling stopped from Sherlock and started from this mystery person.

There was a person dressed in an all over body black combat suit and mask, sitting on top of the fridge, holding a steaming hot pizza...

'I'll have the ready salted if you don't like them...'

'Wait! ... It's you!' Said John, shocked.

Thanks for reading, I would love to hear your comments and suggestions, Hope you enjoyed it!

LazzaSaurus x