"I'll kill myself," he said, backing away slightly.
"What?" I asked, my heart starting to thump faster and faster.
"A life without you is not worth living."
And he fell.
~.X.~
I guess it all started when I moved here.
A small town girl moving into the big city was a huge change. The sound of whizzing cars constantly, the smell of smoke and ash in the air, how people constantly were rushing, trying to get somewhere, and the pollution was so thick it covered the entire sky.
As big as this city was- I moved into a small neighbourhood, in a small apartment complex with my single mother. We lived in the hood, as you would call it. My mother painted and sold her paintings to art dealers. We were a little tight on money, and I guessed that lead me to my part time job.
It was a little bit down the street, an 'artsy' local coffee shop, the building over 80 years old. Inside it was renovated and nice, but the exterior had years and years of wind, snow, rain, hail, sleet and sunshine. I walked in, handed in my resume, got an interview, and got hired.
Easy, simple.
But as for my social life- well, to be blunt, I had none.
Having only a record of one friend(May I add that he is a male?) my entire life and moving two hours away from him, I was entirely excluded in school. Everyone knew everyone, whether from "that part Friday night, which by the way, was sooooo chill", or "we've known each other since first grade! Aren't we cute?"
But that all changed when he came into my life.
I was working alone at 11P.M. one night. The coffee shop was about to close when he walked in, with his grey trench coat and his light, almost white blond hair was covered with a thin layer of snow. His eyelashes sparkled in the yellow lighting as he blinked a few times to get rid of them. I recognized him. We went to the same school. He exhaled, looked up, and said "one mocha frap, to stay, please."
I inwardly sighed. I couldn't leave until all the customers had left to lock up. I nodded, punched in the numbers and proclaimed "$5.30, please."
An hour later, I was wipping down all the tables. He was sitting by the window, just staring out. I was extremely exhausted by then, and politely asked. "Sir? We are closed now. Would you mind leaving as soon as possible?"
He said yes, but stayed for another hour.
This pattern countinued everyday for a month. He came at 11P.M, ordered a mocha frap to stay. No conversation, no talking, nothing. He didn't talk the initiative, so neither did I. That is, until one night he spoke.
"What's your name?"
I looked up from sweeping the floor. I was startled that he talked. "Excuse me?"
"What's your name?"
"...it's Clary," I said sheepishly. It was so awkward.
"What's Clary short for?"
"...Clarissa."
"What a pretty name," he mumbled, taking another sip of his coffee.
And just like that, we started to talk a little by little.
Eventually, he started to say hi to me in the hallways. By then, I knew I liked him. I loved how his voice was so hoarse, how pale his hair was, or the darkness in his eyes. He was like an angel sent from above.
I guess, eventually, he liked me too.
Then it happened, we started to date. We were official. The first couple of months were great. We kissed, we cuddled, we were always together. 24/7. People at school started to talk to me, girls would tease me about him and I holding hands together. It made me happy. It made me feel like I had friends. I was at bliss.
And that's when everything started to fall.
I didn't notice it at first. How he would get mad at me when I ignored his text. How I wouldn't answer his call immediately. I would sometimes put him off to hang out with my other friends. He wouldn't talk to me for days.
Then he would just get mad instead.
He would pull me away from other boys when they talked to me. He would pin my hands against the wall and question me, constantly, always angry, making me cry eventually. He would yell at me when I wasn't avaliable to hang out with him or had other plans. He got mad when I was "being too nice to customers".
It got to the point where I would say "my boyfriend doesn't let me" or "He'll get mad at me, I can't."
I knew it was wrong. I knew I needed to end this.
But I already tried to break it off. And when I did, he started to cry, and begged me to stay. He held onto me, tears streaming down his face, his voice cracking, holding me tight in his arms, begging me not to go. Saying he was sorry, over and over and over.
I found out later that he had a mental problem. He needed someone. And he told me I was that someone. He had no one else but me.
Pressured to stay, I did. It only got worse.
He started to hit me.
At first, it was once. Just once. He said he was sorry. He was sorry and he cried. I forgave him.
Then, it was only once. Only once a month. He was sorry. I forgave him.
Then, it was once a week. Only once a week. He was sorry. I forgave him. Everytime.
Now, it's only once a day. I don't think he's sorry anymore. But I still forgive him.
One night, we were alone at his house. It seemed like his parents were always on a business trip and we're never home. I was on the couch with him, as he cuddled me. He started to kiss me. I let him, not because I wanted to, but because he trained me to. I was a puppy, he said. A loyal puppy who would always come back to him.
But then he started to go further. He pushed me down, and stuck his hand up my shirt. I didn't stop him. I let him. Not because I wanted to. But because I had to.
He kissed me deeply, making my head spin, and before I knew it, he took off my shirt. Then he slipped his hand into my pants and touched my private area. By then, I knew he had to stop.
I told him to stop. He didn't listen. I told him to stop again. He ignored me. I started to scream. He started to yell. He pinned my hands down and had his way with me.
I cried. He said he was sorry. He said he was sorry. Over and over and over, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
After a month of that, of all that abuse, I broke down. It was all too much. I called him up, while my mom was home, and told him. I said I couldn't do it. He said fine, and asked me for one final date.
I said yes.
We met in front of the cafe I worked at.
"I'll kill myself," he said.
"What?" I asked, my heart starting to thump faster and faster.
"A life without you is not worth living."
And he fell.
Then all I saw was a series of red flashing lights, people questioning me, and someone crying, someone crying so loud she couldn't breathe, or see,or hear.
Oh wait, that was me.
I went to visit him after the emergency surgery. I was told he was ok. I was grateful. I wouldn't ever leave him again, I told myself.
I walked into the room. He looked at me, a grin on his face as he was bandaged up. He saw the dried tear stains on my cheeks. He reached to and touched them. "What did I tell you? You can never leave me."
I closed my eyes as another tear fell.
"Yes, Sebastian."
~.X.~
hi there! I apologize for not updating city of edom (if u are my follower) it's bc I've been so busy and I had a writers block! I've started on the next chapter though and I hope to finish it soon ):
On the other hand, did you like this story? It was originally a one shot inspiration from stories I've read on tumblr, but if it's liked I MAY turn it into a full story.
Please review and leave your thoughts (: