Title: Seeing Red
Fandom: pokémon (Gameverse)
Subject: Gold and Red (Heartgoldshipping), mentions of Green (male)
Summary: On that summit Gold sees nothing but red, no one but Red. Green thinks he's the only one who can save him, but can he?
Additional Notes: Oneshot. This is my first contribution to the pokémon fandom. I hope it's satisfactory. Capitalized colors refer to character names, while colors in lowercase refer to a more symbolic usage of that color (exception being the title, whose capitalization purposefully implies a double meaning). This oneshot is dedicated to Ricetard, who shares with me this shipping that strangely not enough people support. She also deserves my thanks for motivating me to write for this pairing, in addition to having helped me proofread.
Seeing Red
When Gold collects the eight Johto Gym Badges, eyes begin to turn. When Gold defeats the Elite Four, people start to take him seriously. When Gold secures Kanto's eight Gym Badges, no one dares to question his skill.
"Second only to Red," they would say. But because Red hasn't been seen in years, many consider Gold to be the best.
Gold is a powerful trainer, but he lets the praise get to his head. He means well, but he can't help it. He seeks challenges, almost recklessly, so he can overcome them, because victory gives him an exhilarating rush he can't find elsewhere. He lives for that rush; he allows it to motivate him to become stronger.
So when Professor Oak grants him permission to access Mt. Silver, Gold seizes the opportunity. Even when venturing into the unknown, Gold does not hesitate, and his passion burns as brightly as the flame atop his typhlosion. He doesn't stop to consider the dangers, not only for his pokémon but also for himself. He does not view Mt. Silver as a treacherous mountain but as the biggest of challenges waiting to be conquered.
Gold finds it strange that there's a pokémon center at the base of the mountain. Even Nurse Joy tells him that few people ever reach these parts, and as he continues to chat with her, he learns that the few who do arrive at the mountain strive to reach its summit.
"They never do," she finishes. But to Gold, this is hardly a warning. On the contrary, he sees this as an invitation. Gold has found something new to set his sights on.
Like those before him, Gold too struggles. It's not that Gold hasn't struggled before, because he has. Gold just comes out on top, and it's because of his perseverance and his determination that he overcomes his physical exhaustion and again comes out on top: Gold reaches the summit.
It is snowing. Yet on that summit Gold sees nothing but red, no one but Red. Red, who single-handedly defeated the Rockets and forced them to disband. Red, who conquered the Elite Four and captured the legendary Mewtwo. Red, who suddenly vanished from society, never to be seen again. Red, whom Gold idolizes, who now stands before him.
There was a time when Gold fantasized battling the revered Trainer Red, a Red that inexplicably does not match the Red whom Green's sister once spoke highly of during Gold's travels around Kanto. Even as he stands in Red's presence, Gold acknowledges that defeating Red would be the pinnacle of his career as a pokémon trainer. If he wins, he will shatter the very image of Red he has erected in his own mind, he will gain the most satisfying victory of them all, and Red will no longer be the undefeated Champion.
The thought of battling Red intimidates Gold, but he's ready. Or so he thinks. Red only has to lift his cap ever so slightly before Gold is able to see the intense red that emanates from him. Gold lets the red sink in; as their eyes meet, Gold realizes there is nothing between him and Red now, nothing but the white of the snow and the red that burns even on this frigid summit.
Both Gold and Red put everything on the line. Neither boy holds back. Gold struggles, as does Red. But this time, Gold does not come out on top.
Gold loses.
Everything he's ever known collapses. It feels foreign to him. While he's known all along just how powerful a trainer Red is, Gold has never been faced with a challenge he could not overcome. He has not known defeat, not until now. Gold knows that, had he won, Red would be suffering as he suffers now. Even though the rush had been there, even though victory was within reach, Gold still lost.
Gold glances at Red, who only watches him from a distance with a steely gaze. The red has subsided. But Gold still doesn't know what to do. He's never faced a situation like this before. To this moment he has always stepped with his best foot forward, taking on life as it came, plowing boldly through opponents without ever looking back. Now, after having impulsively and recklessly thrown himself into battle, Gold has lost, and he is left with little to nothing.
He can't return down the mountain, not in the condition his pokémon are in. The onix and sneasel of Mt. Silver are brutal. His pokémon won't make it, he won't make it. In his despair he only faintly acknowledges the settling of reality, that no man or pokémon is invincible. Though there is nothing inherently wrong with seeking strength, Gold has allowed others' praise to sweep him away.
But just as Gold comes to terms with the thought of perishing along with his foolhardiness, Red finally approaches him. Wordlessly Red hands him medication — potions, revives, the works. Gold has no pride left to blind him this time. He knows his priorities. First, he nurses his pokémon. Then, he apologizes to them.
As Gold prepares to embark on his journey back down the mountain, he turns to Red and thanks him. He thanks Red for showing him true strength, he thanks him for showing him humility, and what was once a simple thanks becomes a full-fledged monologue of appreciation. Gold speaks enough words for them both.
Gold hesitates in leaving, even though he knows his pokémon need further medical attention from Nurse Joy. He wonders if he'll ever get to hear Red speak. He wonders if he'll ever get to see the Red the world once knew — if he'll ever see Red again at all.
A sudden thought occurs to him, and though impulsive at best, Gold dares to share it. He does not want to leave Red's presence so soon. Even if Red has defeated him, Gold still idolizes him. Even if Gold has learned not to pursue strength so recklessly, to him it's still about becoming stronger and overcoming challenges, and Red still represents a level of strength he has not yet reached.
So Gold pleads Red to allow him to come back, to allow him to train with him. Unsurprisingly, Red does not give him an answer. But Gold takes his silence as his consent, and not even a week passes before he returns to the summit.
The red is back. Again Gold battles Red. Again Gold loses. Again the red subsides. Again Red heals Gold's pokémon. Again Gold apologizes.
It continues like this for a time, like a broken record doomed to repeat itself. Red says nothing, neither approving of nor dismissing Gold, and Gold keeps coming back, loss after loss. Gold wonders, though only in the aftermath of another lost battle, what would happen if he changes something in the cycle — if he stops coming back, if he stops seeing the red, if he and Red don't battle, if he wins, if Red doesn't heal his pokémon, if he never leaves — but he doesn't dare break the consistency.
Just as Gold spends most of their time together talking, Red spends all of it silently observing him. Red doesn't ever stop staring at him, to the point where Gold sometimes has to ask him to stop; only half the time does Red actually turn away. Gold wonders what Red thinks about, because a boy that silent can't possibly be thinking about nothing. Gold also wonders why Red is so quiet, because from the people he's met Gold knows Red hasn't always been this way. Sometimes Gold even —
"You're quiet."
Red's first words to him. Gold only laughs, if only to mask his own shock, and he satisfies Red's underlying request and talks more — a lot more. But it's not until the following week that Gold notices the absence of red. And then Gold realizes that Red's first words are the harbinger of change. After the red stops appearing, they stop battling each other every time they meet, and Red loses his reason to heal Gold's pokémon. As their battles occur less frequently, Gold finds it more and more difficult to leave — and one time he even chooses not to leave, against his better judgment. It is during that night when Gold realizes what Red puts himself through in his isolation atop the mountain, and he doesn't understand how Red can possibly stay here for so long and call the summit his home; it is also the first night in which Gold is first given Red's physical closeness, because Gold has never forced himself to stay in this cold for so long, because Gold would otherwise not have survived the harsh winter night.
Gold doesn't ever spend the night on the summit again, despite his growing hesitance in leaving each time he visits Red. If Gold takes away anything else from that night, it's that Red has subtly given him his trust, and it shows just how much Red has changed since their first meeting.
Red begins to talk more — a couple of words per visit, several more if they don't battle, but Gold doesn't complain. His words are seldom condescending, nor do they directly praise him. Gold still does all the talking; if anything, he takes Red's words as reassurance, that he doesn't want him to stop talking, even though both boys are well aware of Red's first words.
One day, Gold meets Professor Oak on his way to visit Red, and they chat for a bit. Professor Oak commends him for his determination in training; Gold doesn't tell him that he hasn't had a battle (with Red) for a good month now. It doesn't take Gold long to realize that he now goes to Mt. Silver seeking not strength (well, maybe a little) but Red's company, though Gold doesn't actually know how he feels about this realization. Professor Oak also tells Gold that his grandson has been looking for him; so, having already made one detour, Gold makes another and pays Green a visit.
Gold meets Green on the outskirts of Viridian City, and it is the first time he sees green. Green tells him everything Red has not. Or, perhaps, Green tells him everything Red would have told him, if only Red fancied words more often. Green tells Gold of Red's accomplishments in disbanding the Rockets and the unwanted fame that came with it, how everywhere he went he was met with and drowned in others' praise for his efforts, how he grew tired of people and their unending idolization, how he retreated to Mt. Silver to escape this suffocation because he wasn't ready to face the world, and how his isolation sobered him to the point of near silence; and of Red's attachment to Gold, how Red might see his younger self in Gold.
Gold realizes why he's being told this, because Red's acceptance of Gold's presence is Red's attempt in trusting the world again, because Green thinks Red might at last be ready to face the world, because Green believes only Gold can bring him back.
Gold doesn't know what to make of this, not in that moment, so he doesn't. He's late, so he leaves Green and hurries to Red. The hike up the mountain isn't even treacherous for him anymore, because Gold's so used to it now.
"You're late," Red says, and Gold knows those are to be his only words for the day.
They battle, and Gold loses again. In his defeat, Gold is reminded of his conversation with Green. On the one hand, he pities Red, because in Red's pursuit of a dream he obtained popularity he did not want, that which has never been forced upon Gold. On the other hand, Gold wants to save Red, because Red could not handle the pressure, because he was forced to abandon the life he wanted to live. That he wants to save Red doesn't even occur to him as strange, because their friendship has silently burgeoned despite that neither he nor Red has acknowledged it. They are similar in many ways, but Gold is still many things Red is not, and though Gold is slow in the uptake he begins to understand that they were never dysfunctional but rather complementary.
It doesn't take long for Gold to figure out how to save him. It's intuitive, really, because Gold has been doing it all along. Initially he debates telling Red his intentions, but he decides not to. Red is right to think he sees himself in Gold, and Gold can see it too. They are both prideful, they both chase after dreams; Gold realizes his journey is the embodiment of everything Red has longed for. It's because of their unspoken similarities that they were first able to bond, intentionally or not.
Red doesn't question Gold when the latter requests that they battle more often, though no words are sacrificed. If anything, both boys converse more than before. Gold strives for strength — this time, not for his sake, but for Red's. This time, their battles aren't rote showcases of their ability; they speak through their pokémon and the exchange of blows, and Gold makes sure Red knows exactly how much he wants to win.
Gold forces out the remnant red. And when Gold's typhlosion is the last pokémon standing, the red vanishes for the last time. Only the white of the falling snow remains.
It takes a moment for Red to comprehend what has happened. He falls to his knees, falls to the ground, because the gravity of his defeat has finally taken its toll. Gold remembers long ago when he considered this instance, and now it appears before his eyes. Back then, Gold was a loser who could not contain his bitterness; now, he is the victor who sees himself in Red, and it is the first clear indication that Red is not the only one to have changed over the years. Gold, too, has grown.
Gold waits for Red to heal his pokémon before approaching him. Gold's eyes meet Red's as he tells him he's strong enough. Gold tells Red to give his problems to him, that no one has to know how many victories Red first attained before being dethroned.
"You only want the fame."
Gold wants to counter, he wants to tell Red that he doubts Red would have kept battling him if that was all he had been after. But he doesn't, because he only has one shot. Gold has always fearlessly taken every opportunity that presented itself before him. Saving Red is the one opportunity he cannot turn down.
"I only want you to come home."
Red is floored, but he doesn't show it. His silence is expected, but it speaks volumes.
Gold tries to explain himself. He reminds Red how many people are worried about him, how many people miss him, how many people love him. Gold tells Red again to put his troubles onto him, to send everyone his way for having defeated Champion Red, because Gold is strong enough now. One last time, Gold pleads Red to come home.
Again is everything on the line, again is Gold begging Red for his compassion. Gold waits with bated breath — even the silence that has so characteristically defined Red would suffice.
The first time he did this, Gold lost everything, and Red saved him. This time, Red has lost everything, and Gold wants to save him.
"Okay."
Gold almost misses the terse reply. But he doesn't. Gold laughs in his disbelief, and only when Red accompanies him down the mountain, only when Red is physically beside him as Gold chats with Nurse Joy and asks her to stay the night, only when they leave the white behind and are met with an abundance of green, only when he sees Red reunited with his mother after many long years, does Gold finally believe that Red really has come home.
Gold can't claim to have saved Red, not yet. He knows it will take some time for Red's vigor to return to him, and the days Red spends holed up in his mother's house is proof enough. Gold tries to visit him once, but Green tells him he's busy hibernating or something, so instead he ends up talking away the afternoon to Green, his sister and Red's mother. Half of their conversation is praise for Gold, and though Gold reminds himself not to get carried away, he can't help but to bask in it. He gets a few questions — about having found Red, about having defeated him, about having convinced him to come home — and Gold answers them honestly and humbly. Though he knows his audience comprises Red's family and friends, in the back of his mind Gold acknowledges that this is only the beginning: that the true onslaught of the burden he's taken from Red has yet to come.
Gold takes it one step at a time, and his first step is with Red. He gets many other opportunities to see Red. Sometimes it's just the two of them, and despite the circumstances nothing has changed. Red graces Gold with several words, usually a complaint about how hot Pallet Town is, and Gold takes off from there. Gold still does all the talking, Red still stares at Gold the entire time, and Gold still has difficulty leaving. The only differences are that there is no red, there is no snow falling, and Gold doesn't freeze to death on the day he decides he'd rather not leave.
But most of the time he's in the company of others, and they always meet in Red's room. Usually it's Green, though sometimes Green's sister comes with them. Gold tends to take the backseat, and though his chatter is still as tireless as ever, Gold makes more of an effort to observe Red's interactions with his childhood friends. Gold notices that Red is a bit of an asshole to Green, a silent asshole at that, though Gold supposes it just might be the nature of their rivalry, since Green seems to accept this as the norm and returns Red's exchanges with equal cheek. But Gold is more interested in Red's exchanges with Green's sister — she was the first to talk to him about the Red who grew up with her brother — and Gold is disappointed when Red shows no change in countenance. Still, he can't help but to notice that Red treats him and Green differently than others, and Gold is left with a feeling of elation that a trainer whom he idolizes regards him with importance.
Green's sister says it to Red's face, and she says it again as they leave his room. She knows Red has changed and it saddens her. More than anything, she wishes for Red to return to what he once was — and even if Gold has never met Red as 'he once was,' Gold sees this as another invitation.
It doesn't take long for Gold to figure out how to go about doing this. It's intuitive, really, because Gold has been doing it all along. Just as Gold forced Red out of his comfort zone by his unwanted chatter, Gold forces Red out again by fervent proposals for excursions around the world. Red protests, silently, but Red has never been good at pushing Gold away, and akin to his days in the summit, Red eventually acquiesces and lets Gold take him away.
They take the S.S. Aqua to Olivine City. Gold shows Red the view of the coast, in addition to the Battle Frontier and the Glitter Lighthouse, before they depart on their own adventure. It is not only their first adventure together but also the first not directly driven by the pursuit of strength; it's unfamiliar to them both, but Gold doesn't step down, nor does he let Red. Gold takes Red to the verdant pastures of Route 39, where Red lets his snorlax take amusement with the grazing miltank; to Ecruteak City, where Red lets his charizard roam the skies; to Ilex Forest, where Red lets his pikachu and venusaur wander freely; and to the Rainmaker Well, where Red lets blastoise and lapras surf leisurely. Throughout their journey they are met with a sea of green, and dozens of aspiring trainers approach them. None of them can fathom that they're really in the presence of both Red and Gold at the same time; Red says nothing, Gold directs the conversation to his victory over Red, the trainers turn to him, and Red still says nothing.
Gold also takes Red to his hometown, New Bark Town. Gold introduces Red to his mother, whom he greets politely and wordlessly. As Gold has his usual talk with his mother regarding his finances, he can feel Red staring at him. When he can spare the time, Gold glances to Red, and though Red is indeed staring at him as he always does, there is something upon his face that Gold doesn't recognize.
Gold's mother sees them off. She tells Gold to call her soon, and she tells Red she's pleased that Gold has made a friend like him. Gold scolds her in his embarrassment, his mother tells him she's said nothing wrong and that sometimes Gold should just accept compliments for what they are like his quiet friend does, and Red apologizes.
It takes a moment for Gold to realize Red has actually apologized, and it takes another to figure out why Red is apologizing. But Red never says; Gold's mother takes his apology for what it is and sends them on their way. Even as they ride lapras up the Tohjo Falls, Red admits nothing, and Gold realizes that he still has no idea what goes on inside Red's head. Gold is forced to put together the pieces: Either Red is apologizing for accepting compliments, or Red is apologizing for being quiet.
Gold concludes the latter. In fact, both of his hypotheses are false. But Gold is only made aware when they reach the pokémon League Reception Gate. Gold has run out of places to show Red, and in his mind, their adventure has ended. But when Gold turns toward Viridian City, Red turns to Mt. Silver.
"Let's go back."
Gold understands Red's request. He's scared to comply; he's scared that Red's had enough of him, that Red's decided to return to his isolation at the top of Mt. Silver. Gold tries to reflect on their journey — was he being too proud, did Red actually find his incessant chatter annoying — but comes up with nothing. So, Gold takes Red to the summit, and the entire hike up the mountain he talks more than he ever has before.
It is snowing. It always does. Red turns to Gold, whose voice has died in his throat.
"Battle me."
Everything has come full circle. As Gold satisfies Red's request with apprehension, Gold remembers their first battle. He is reminded of the exhilarating rush he once sought blindly, of the struggle he endured in his fight for victory. He remembers the feeling of always coming out on top, the feeling of victory being so close at hand.
Gold also remembers their previous battle. He remembers the determination that coursed through his body as he fought, his resolve to save Red, the red he forced to extinction. He is reminded of the silent words exchanged through a shared passion — and only then does Gold really understand why they're battling, because Red has something he wants to tell him, something Green can't say for him. What drives him this time is not the satisfaction in defeating Red — because though defeating Red and attaining his strength was Gold's first motivation, he abandoned that pursuit long ago — but rather his fear of what Red will do if he wins.
Gold doesn't want Red to return to isolation. He doesn't want to lose Red. So for the last time, Gold puts everything on the line. He's one for one, and this is the tiebreak.
And Gold loses. But Gold accepts it easily, because by the end of the battle, Red has shown Gold his heart. It is because of Gold that Red is able to leave the mountain, to return home to his family and friends, to breathe, to live life as he's wanted to, and to see the world without the weight of the world on his shoulders. Seeing Gold with his mother had been the trigger, and only after witnessing Gold's mother's concern, only after realizing just how much his absence has worried his own mother, were Red's eyes opened. Gold realizes that Red has no intention of secluding himself again, nor does he intend to ever leave his side at all.
Red tells Gold, with minimal words, that he only allowed Gold to train with him because he was different from everyone else, because when Gold talked the conversation was never just about Red, even though Gold's admiration for Red is no different than that of every other person whom Red's isolated himself from. It's then that Gold understands. He is everything Red isn't and is everything Red couldn't be. Each time he had lost to him, Red was consoled in that he still remained to be the only undefeated pokémon trainer, in that he still had some quality over Gold, in that Gold hadn't fully taken his dream away from him. And when all of that changed, when Gold finally triumphed over Red, Gold had been there to help him get back on his feet.
Gold laughs, as he always does whenever Red reveals more of himself to him. This time, he's laughing at the irony, because they have managed to save each other, though Gold more consciously than Red. Gold wants to tell Red that he isn't the only hero here, that Red opened his eyes to reality, that Red put him in line, that without Red he would still be recklessly fighting one battle after another just for the thrill, that Red has shown him what it means to purposefully pursue strength…
Gold actually does try telling him this, but he doesn't get very far. Red cuts him off before he can complete even one sentence.
"You talk too much." But before Gold can mention that these words are in complete opposition to the first words Red has ever said to him, Red kisses him, and Gold's intentions are lost with him. Gold is taken aback at first, because Gold is supposed to be the bolder one, but he finds himself liking Red's lips pressed against his own, so he lets himself enjoy it. He closes his eyes, but not before noticing it is neither red nor white nor green that surrounds them.
Once upon a time, Gold believed that defeating Red would be the pinnacle of his journey. Now, Gold believes Red's friendship and the conquest of his heart are his greatest victories, and it invigorates him more than any victory in the past ever has.
Gold decides he has no intention of leaving Red's side, and for the first time, he sees nothing but gold.
(i hesitated in adding this, but so my intentions aren't misconstrued, provided below is a brief explanation of the symbolism used.
do not read the following if you are content with your own conclusions:
red - desperation, loneliness; white - hope; green - change; gold - happiness, prosperity.
Red, Green and Gold are human representations of red, green and gold, respectively, with respect to Red's character.
thus, Gold's perspective is told descriptively through narration, and Red's perspective is told symbolically through color.)