*** Hello all. This chapter has been updated. The story is the same but with some slight variation. Enjoy ***
"You don't understand Lei. I've got 99 problems and Feng is 97 of them," wailed the once proud martial artist but now head of police, Wang Jinrei.
They were in Wang's office. Lei couldn't even finish his lunch before Wang dragged him in here. A couple other officers stared at them through the window.
"Oh? And what are the other 2?" asked Lei with complete boredom.
"Oh, well, the ice machine is broken and it turns out I have syphilis. But that's besides the point. Why don't you wanna catch this angry-eyebrows looking bastard anymore? I thought you were obsessed with bringing his ugly anus down." said Wang impatiently.
"I was. But I'm tired boss. I've been chasing this guy for longer than I can remember. I even skipped my vacation just to go after his lovely ass. But now I'm just plain exhausted. Seriously now, you can't possibly expect me to go to somewhere in Europe in the hopes of me running into him. Believe me, Europe has good police forces. They can handle it."
"Lei, please. I'm begging you! We are in a shitty situation right now. Ever since that asshole Kazama took control of the Zaibuddah and started feuding with his asshole son…" Wang suddenly stopped and stared into the distance. I'm sorry old friend. Just like your son, I couldn't prevent any more of your decedents from going down the same path.
Lei seemed confused and a little bit annoyed. I swear if this old fart is seeing Jinpachi's ghost again I'm totally transferring.
Wang eventually came back to Earth. "Uhh, where was I?... Oh yeah! Our station hasn't been getting much funding. We need this Lei. We need to get the spotlight back on us! And who better to get it back than the Jackie Chan of this fighting game franchise? Come on Jackie, I know you can't resist fighting crime in the name of Justice or whatever," pleaded the Chief.
"Alright, 1) I don't know who that is. 2) I'm not just gonna drop everything to fly however many thousand miles just to catch a guy that'll be caught soon anyways and 3) We can get money from other means, like hosting fundraisers or something." Lei was about ready to leave this conversation.
"Lei, for the love of Roger Jr. and that fat panda, please do this! Fundraising events won't help us now! This is what we need! Please! Please do this Lei!" To Lei's astonishment, Wang got on his knees and started begging. "I'll do anything! I'll...I'll help you cook meth when you get diagnosed with cancer. When you're away on missions, I'll make sure your wife doesn't have coitus with your insanely dreamy Latino gardener. "
Before Lei could say something to his now needing-to-be-checked-in-to-an-insane-asylum boss, Wang started speaking again. "I'll...I'll set you up with Ling! Is that what you want Lei? I've seen the way you look at her. That flexibly teenage body is one most men would die for."
"Wang what the hell? That's your granddaughter you sick fuck!"
"Yeah well who cares. All she does is chase that damn demon brat. 'You don't understand Gramps! There is good in him. I can see it.'I swear to God he must be gay. I don't care how evil you are, nobody can resist the perfection that is my granddaughter."
Lei stared at the old man before finally giving in. "Okay sir," Lei spoke in the same tone as when he found out there was going to be yet another Transformers sequel. "You win. But, when our station becomes prosperous again, I demand a raise! Oh, and uh...I also demand that you never display that...well...whatever the hell it was you just displayed." Lei said, still shaken.
"YES! Thank you Lei! Oh I can't wait to tell Jinpachi all this!" Wang ran off happier than a schoolgirl.
And with that, Lei was out of the room and ready to go home and drink this conversation away. And fire his gardener.