this first part was originally uploaded in July of 2012

I originally wrote this kinda sorta partially for a friend but I don't recall if she ever liked it or not

I feel as though we've kinda drifted since then but you know whatever

still dedicate this one to her tho

Part One: Shanoa's perspective.

"Tomorrow, I'll become the bearer."

They both knew that this day was coming. It had weighed heavily on their minds for the past few weeks. It went on unmentioned, but nothing had to be said to know that the other was thinking about the exact same thing.

"You don't have to do this, Albus. What if you aren't ready? Why don't you let me do it?"

"Barlowe already promised that I would become Dominus. I can't go back now." He shook his head. "I'm doing this for you, you know."

Shanoa frowned, reaching out and placing her hand on his chest, staring into his eyes. "You don't have to do this, Albus," she repeated, eyes begging him not to go through with it.

"It's either me or you and I don't want to lose you, Shanoa." He sighed heavily, knowing she wouldn't let this go so easily.

"And you think having me lose you is any easier?"

"One of us has to live. And it should be you."

"But you may not be ready for it. You can't absorb glyphs very well and it might be too taxing, then—"

"Don't patronize me, Shanoa. You should know better than that." He grabbed her wrist and gently handed it back to her, shaking his head. He offered her a sympathetic smile before turning away, starting to walk off.

She watched him take a few steps before staring down at her boots, her hands clenched fists at her sides. "There's no changing your mind, is there?" she murmured, eyes now shut tight.

Though her voice had quieted when she spoke again, he was still able to hear her, causing him to stop in his tracks. "You should know the answer to that better than anyone else." A forced chortle escaped his throat before he peered slightly over his shoulder at her. "I'm sorry, Shanoa."

She merely clenched her jaw and winced away fro him, listening as the echo of his footsteps faded into silence.

-/-

"Come in." Albus looked up from the book he was reading, preparing himself for anything that might happen tomorrow. "Shanoa, if you're here to discourage me again, you're wasting your time."

She shook her head, slipping into the room and closing the door behind her before she leaned against it. She opened her mouth to say more, but quickly decided against it. She didn't want him in a foul mood tonight.

He would find out in the morning.

"No, I just... wanted to see you one last time before the ritual. I can't be in the room once it starts, after all. We'll have some time to talk in the morning, but you can't lollygag."

She pushed off the door and walked up to his bed, sitting down beside him. "So for the rest of tonight, let me convey my gratitude to you, in return for all that you've done for me all these years."

Rather than verbally answering the questions that were clear on his face, she leaned over and closed the book in his hands, tossing it to the floor.

Neither paid any attention to the resulting thump it made, too preoccupied with their lips meeting, her hand on his cheek.

Once she splayed her other hand on his chest and began pushing him down gently, it was easy to decipher what her intentions were.

"Wait, Shanoa. What are you doing?" he asked anyway, in quite a bit of shock, the surprise impairing his ability to process what was happening. He stared up at her, eyes wide with disbelief.

"I told you, I'm showing you my gratitude. This is the only way I can do it in this short time we have left together." She motioned for him to fix himself properly on the bed, straddling his waist once he was.

"But Ecclesia! We aren't supposed to—!"

She silenced him quickly. Pulling away from his lips, she murmured, "What the church doesn't know won't hurt them. I want to express my feelings to you in a way you'll understand. Just let me have this moment with you, if only for a short while."

Unfortunately for him, he really wasn't in a position to decline.

Hear his reluctantly relenting sigh, she continued, mouths meeting once again.

The hand that was on his cheek joined the one that was once again on his chest. They felt for the end of his night shirt, pulling it up a bit once she'd grabbed hold of the hem. Her fingers traced along his skin, already familiar with the firm muscle, but the touch of his bare skin new and foreign to her. She could feel him shiver a bit underneath her, her own skin a bit cooler than his.

Their embrace broke so that she could pull off his shirt, staring down at the torso that had been revealed to her. As she stared she memorized every detail, her eyes trailing upward in their studying, gazing at his face. Their eyes met and she could tell he was more than nervous about all of this.

It would be a lie if she said she wasn't feeling even the slightest bit of anxiety.

She leaned down once again as he put his hands on her hips, attempting something different with their kiss. Her tongue ventured out, darting across his lower lip. When he gave no response, she repeated the action.

Grunting quietly with her irritation, she nipped his lower lip roughly, which caused his lips to part with a gasp.

She took that moment of opportunity to slide her tongue into his mouth.

Shanoa was very much aware of Albus' uncertainty, placing her hands on either side of his face to hold him in place. Breaking it after a few moments, she put her forehead to his, caressing his cheek. "Just let me lead, okay? Remember, this is my gratitude to you."

His eyes fell closed and he nodded.

As she began again, some of the tension between them dissipated, Albus finding that there was some comfort in letting someone else be in charge for a change.

Their kiss lasted longer this time, their tongues running alongside each others', a soft, throaty groan escaping here or there.

Her hands began to travel again, skimming over his chest and abdomen to the hem of his night pants. Her thumbs hooked onto the fabric, hooking onto the garment underneath as well, gradually pulling them down to get both items off in one fell swoop.

As his pants slid down, so did she. He watched her sink lower, becoming a bit concerned with and questioning what she planned to do.

He got his answer when he felt her tongue run along his skin from the base to the tip, her hand wrapping around him after.

His hips bucked and he groaned, unconsciously closing his eyes tightly. "You... you know that... the church disapproves... of actions such as these!" His voice rose slightly in pitch when she became a bit more aggressive in her actions.

"I didn't realize I particularly cared about how the church felt at this moment in time," she replied when she pulled away for a moment.

Her eyes glinted with amusement when she heard his rapid mumblings, knowing he was trying not to concede defeat to the pleasure he was feeling.

He lost anyway.

Swallowing with the slightest bit of a smile, she slowly crawled back up his body, straddling his waist again.

His breathing had become heavy, but it ceased temporarily when she pulled off her nightgown.

It wasn't until she looked away out of slight embarrassment that he realized he was unabashedly staring at her figure. He glanced of to the side, grunting an apology. She placed a hand on his cheek again, turning his head gently, the corners of her lips curling upward.

"It's okay, you know. I'd be more worried if you didn't." He was tentative about it, but he gazed upon her body again, drinking in the sight.

A hand of his reached out to touch her, but it quickly retracted. Before it could fall back to his side, she grabbed his wrist, placing his hand over her heart. She closed her eyes for a few moments, opening them slowly to smirk down at him.

She briefly wondered if his heart was beating as fast as hers was. "It's okay, Albus. Really." With her approval, both of his hands began gracing along her form, committing to memory the dips and rises that were composed of her. She shivered above him, her eyes closing once more to enhance her sense of touch, finding an odd bit of pleasure in being caressed by rough, calloused hands.

There was a pause in all movement for a time, the two staring at each other, studying, observing. It was a comfortable lull, emotions passing between them without the need for trivial words.

And rather than being spoken, some things were better communicated with unblinking eyes, held breaths, and the simple feel of another's skin against your own.

Breaking this lull, Shanoa put her hands to her hips, ridding herself of the last piece of clothing between them.

As she held him in place, she took a deep breath, the nervousness she felt before becoming a bit overwhelming.

Before she could let her anxiety get the best of her, she gradually lowered herself onto him, biting down hard on her lower lip. He let out a ragged breath in response.

Both remained still for some time, unknowingly doing so for the same reason: to give her some time to adjust.

Cautiously, languidly, she began rocking her hips, her breathing more shallow and unsteady. As the pace of her movements naturally began to increase, she felt his hands find her hips again, glancing down to see him silently pleading to also indulge in the lust they shared.

Her own hands were splayed on his abdomen, though they soon curled into fists, her nails momentarily dragging on his skin. He hissed, hips lifting and causing a moan to escape her lips.

More followed after as they moved in rhythm, ardors, desires, and repressed feelings expressed through their movements.

Emotion was spoken fluently through simple, primal, carnal contact. She was able to express her gratitude in a way he understood.

They shared kisses, exchanged breaths, reiterated names.

Tossing her head back with a cry of his name, she climaxed first.

He came soon after she did, holding her hips down tightly as he groaned her name.

Struggling to get air back into her lungs, she lied down on top of him, curling up on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes. Keeping his hold on her, he turned onto his side so that she was now lying beside him instead. Just as he started to pull out of her, she made a noise of displeasure, hooking her leg around his hip and pushing him back in, moving him closer toward her. Their bodies were flush against each others', able to feel the other's quickened heartbeat.

"That was rather blasphemous," he commented, looking down at her. She stared back up at him, sighing. "Everything I did was sacrilegious, Albus. The very facet that this was done out of wedlock says all that needs to be said. But as I mentioned before, I don't particularly care. I am happy to be here, lying with you, and that's all that truly matters. I will face my consequences for this latr, but for now, hush and let us savor the moment."

He chuckled lightly and figured that that would be the best course of action to take. The sheet was pulled over them and soon enough, sleep took them.

-/-

The first thing he promptly noticed after waking up was that she had left.

Gone.

Sitting up, he found no traces of her stay, no reminders of what occurred the night before. It was almost as if it never truly happened. And he very nearly entertained the thought.

But the bloodstain on his sheet swiftly smoldered all further doubts