THIS IS MY KINGDOM COME
"Don't wanna let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don't wanna hide the truth
No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide."
(Imagine Dragons- Demons (Nightcore version))
Dean slid the door open quietly and slipped inside from the small crack. The dingy motel room was quiet and Dean could hear crickets chirping outside. The curtains were shut and only a small table lamp and an old TV were casting some light to the otherwise dark room. Dusk was starting to fall outside. Dean laid the groceries on the small and untidy kitchen table layered with research papers. Calling them groceries was stretching it a bit though; two sixpacks of beer, a couple of bottles of water and a slice of pie. Dean put the beers and the pie in the small fridge that was so worn out that he could've just left them on the table. They'd be lukewarm at best. Dean took one beer from the package, twisted the cap off and grabbed a bottle of water with him.
His eyes fixed on the dark figure laying on top of the bed cover and a warm (even though slightly worried) smile played on his lips. Sam had been watching some old black and white movie and apparently fallen asleep waiting for Dean to come back from the store. Dean had denied his brother's pleadings to go with him since Sam had gotten hurt during their hunt that evening. An especially nasty case of a vampire nest they had been searching for weeks. One of them fuckers had managed to surprise Sam from behind and slice his back with a knife. They had burned the whole nest down but it didn't erase the fact that Sam had a gaping wound on his upper back. Dean knew his baby brother was tough but it did nothing to ease the worry he felt in his heart.
Dean walked to the other side of the bed, watching Sam's peaceful expression as his chest rose and fell. His face was relaxed and a couple of long strands of hair fell on his cheek. Dean sat on the edge of the bed, trying his best not to shake it. Sam's eyelids quivered a bit and he let out a shaky breath. Dean's brow furrowed. He took the bottle of pain killers from the bedside table and dropped a couple of pills on the palm of his hand.
"Hiyya Sammy. How are you feeling? Here, I have water and some pills for you", Dean whispered, gently swiping the loose strands from Sam's forehead. Sam's eyes opened but he looked still a bit out of it. "Dean", he whispered. Dean smiled gently and kept stroking his baby brother's long hair. His name always sounded the sweetest when it rolled off of his Sammy's lips. Dean was sure that was the only way his name was meant to be said. It sounded like a prayer, like the most beautiful praise there was, to hear those soft lips speak his name like it was the only word Sam had ever known or the only word he cared to know.
Sam's gaze focused on Dean and a slow smile spread on his lips. "Hi", he whispered back. "Let me help you up a bit", Dean said. He was a bit worried about the fact that Sam had been laying on his back. Sam's stitches were still fresh and Dean didn't want him to put too much stress on them. He slid his right hand carefully under Sam's lower back and helped his brother get up a bit, resting his back to the pillows stacked against the wall. Sam let out a little groan of pain as he felt the movement pull on his stitches. He settled against the pillows and tried to find a comfortable position.
Dean gave Sam the pills and waited for him to put them in his mouth. Then he raised the water bottle to his brother's lips and let Sam take huge sips out of it, almost emptying the whole bottle. "Wow slow down baby", he said, still letting Sam empty the bottle. Water was dripping down Sam's chin and Dean took the edge of his sleeve to gently wipe it off. "Thanks", Sam said, a content smile on his face. "Feeling better?" Dean asked, caressing Sam's hair the way he knew soothed his brother. "Yeah. It still hurts a bit but it's not overwhelming anymore. And I'm not feeling as drowsy as before. I tried to stay awake, waiting for you to come back from the store but I guess I fell asleep", Sam said, closing his eyes and enjoying the tender strokes of Dean's calloused hands in his hair.
"It's all good Sammy, sleep's the best kind of medicine for you right now. Wanna settle back down and get back to sleep?" Dean asked. "Nahh, not yet. Maybe we could watch some TV?" Sam asked, his expression much more alert now. Dean still thought sleep would've been the best thing for Sam at the moment but he had always been a sucker when it came to his brother and his puppy dog eyes. He had never been able to deny anything from his Sammy. "Sure baby", Dean said, placing a soft kiss on Sammy's forehead before he got up to fetch the remote and scooted himself back on the bed, trying his best not to rock it too much.
The minute Dean settled back on the bed Sam sifted his position so that he was cuddling up to his big brother. The pain killers were working their magic and Sam felt the pain leave his body, making him all content and a bit loopy. The good kind of loopy, Sam thought to himself. Everything felt soft and warm and safe. But then again he always felt that way with Dean. Sam wrapped his arm around his brother's waist and pressed his head against Dean's chest, letting out a content sigh. Dean smiled and put his arm around his huge brother who felt almost small, cuddling up to Dean. Dean surfed through the channels and settled on some tacky looking cop movie.
"This okay?" he asked Sam. "Sure, I don't really care what we're watching. I just wanted an excuse to nestle up against you", Sam whispered and from the tone of his voice Dean knew he was smiling. "You don't need a reason for that baby boy. I'm always happy to be a substitute of a pillow for you", Dean hummed, a warm feeling spreading through his chest. A feeling reserved only for his baby brother. Nobody had ever been able to make him feel the way Sam did. Sure he had cared about some people, even loved them. But Sam was and always would be different. Sam was part of him. He was the reason the sun rose in the morning to light Dean's day. Hell, he was Dean's sun. He was the reason Dean laughed, he was the reason Dean cried, he was the reason Dean did anything. He was Dean's reason. There was no Dean without Sam.
"Can we leave tomorrow? The job's finally done and I would like to get the hell out of this town and especially this motel. I'm pretty sure I saw a cockroach running under the kitchen table while you were gone", Sam cringed and tilted his head so he could look Dean in the eye with his signature puppy dog expression. Dean hesitated before answering. "Are you sure you're up to it? I'm not sure it's the best thing for your injury at the moment, sitting hours on end in the car", Dean said, admiring his baby brother's hazel eyes that were looking up at him with a pleading look. "I'm sure. I don't wanna stay here any longer than necessary. Besides it's not like I haven't been through worse, it's barely a scrape compared to some of the other injuries I've endured before. I thought that maybe we could take a little break, just until I heal a bit more. Maybe go to Bobby's place?" Sam said, playing with the hem of Dean's shirt.
"Sure, whatever you want. And yeah kicking back for a while might be a good idea", Dean hummed, enjoying how Sam's hands were now under his big brother's shirt, brushing against the bare skin just above his hip bone. Sam ran the tips of his fingers along the line of Dean's jeans. Dean shivered slightly. "You're giving me goosebumps", he murmured. "Yeah I know. I like it how your nipples get hard when I do this", Sam hummed with a playful smirk. Dean stared at him dumbstruck for a moment before bursting into laughter. "You sneaky little fuck", he chuckled and kissed the top of Sam's mop of hair.
Sam got up a bit, bringing his face almost to Dean's level. Dean's laughter died quickly when he looked into Sam's hazel eyes. Except hazel didn't give them enough credit. They were almost blue in the bright light of the sun and yet close to moss green at dusk. But Dean's favorite was the color Sam's eyes turned when they were like this. Pupils blown so wide that his eyes looked almost black, with just a hint of golden specks on the edges which were barely visible in the dim light of the room. Sam's half-lid eyes stared at him intently, like he could melt into Dean that way, become one with him. Dean touched Sam's jawline gently, caressing it with his fingers, enjoying the rough feel of a stubble against his skin. He loved it when Sam didn't shave for a few days, the dark stubble framing his face and making it ever more heart-shaped than it already was. His Sammy was so beautiful that Dean would've been happy to get lost in those eyes for an eternity and never come back. What a pleasant death it would've been.
Sam brought his face closer to Dean's, resting his forehead against his big brother's. Dean leaned gently against Sam, being careful not to hurt him. "You scared me today. For a moment I was worried I had lost you. There was so much blood…", Dean whispered, choking a bit at the end. Sam's lips pressed against his instantly, reassuring and comforting. Dean knew it was Sam's way of saying 'I'm here Dean'. "I'm sorry Dean. Didn't mean to scare you", Sam whispered against Dean's lips, his voice a bit raspy with all the emotions he was holding back. He took Dean's lower lip into his mouth, sucking it gently. Dean slid his hand behind Sam's neck and deepened the kiss. It had been an exhausting day and he needed reassurance that his brother was okay.
The kiss was nothing like the heated, lust filled kisses they usually shared after a hunt. This was slow, reassuring, letting the other know that whatever happened, whatever may come, they'd be together. Sam and Dean didn't need wows, they didn't need words. That kiss was their way of saying 'I'm here and I will be with you until the very end, there is nothing that could come between us and there is no power in the world to separate us'. In that kiss they became one, two different bodies sharing the same soul.
Dean caressed Sam's tongue with his own, with a slow, languid motion. There was no hurry. It didn't matter where they were. In the Impala. On the road. At some dive bar. In that dingy motel room in the backwoods of Kansas. When they were together they were at home. So they kissed. They kissed like they had all the time in the world and they kissed like the world was ending on that same exact second. They kissed like the other one was made of air and they were both drowning.
The kiss slowed down to small, light pecks on the lips. Dean held Sam's face between his hands and took in Sam's beauty. On Sam's face he saw the map of his universe, map of his personal heaven and his personal hell. Map to Dean's salvation and to Dean's damnation. But he had decided a long time ago that if loving Sam the way he did meant he was going to hell then so be it. By being with Sam he was living his heaven every second, so at the end of the day Dean didn't care if he had to pay for it by going to hell. In his opinion, it was more than worth it.
Dean helped Sam lay down again and was going to fetch Sam another bottle of water. "Can you give me a beer instead? I feel like I really need one", Sam asked, trying to make some sense of the cop drama on TV they hadn't paid any attention to so far. "Sure, whatever you need. You want me to fetch you some food? I think the bar and grill down the road is still open", Dean asked while getting Sam and himself new beers. Dean's former beer was left forgotten on the bedside table. "Nah, no need, I'm not really hungry", Sam said, getting up enough to pull the covers over himself. Dean opened both beers and handed the other one to Sam. Dean slipped out of his jeans and climbed in between the covers in his boxers and T-shirt.
"Do you need help undressing?" he asked Sam, trying to sound innocent but failing miserably. Sam gave Dean his best bitchface. "No thanks, daddy. Little Sammy's all grown up now and able to undress his damn self", Sam snorted in response, starting to open his jeans to get them off. Sure Sam enjoyed when Dean got all protective and motherly over him, but sometimes his brother got a bit carried away. When Dean didn't use any of his usual witty retorts to argue back at him, Sam turned his head to eye him suspiciously. Sam's facial expression softened when he saw Dean looking all serious. "Sorry, didn't mean to be so bitchy", Sam said, thinking that he had offended his brother some way, touching Dean's hand apologetically. Dean swallowed hard. "No Sammy, it's not… just forget about it", Dean said, rubbing his neck which Sam knew he did only when he was uneasy. Sam inspected Dean's facial expressions more closely, until something in his head clicked and he smiled mischievously
"But I don't wanna upset you, daddy", he murmured with a low, husky tone in his voice. The crimson blush on Dean's cheeks confirmed Sam's suspicions. He had a couple of times before called Dean 'daddy' while they were having sex and he had already back then noticed what a turn on it was to his big brother. "Oh daddy, I changed my mind, please help me undress", Sam murmured into Dean's ear, pressing up against his brother as much as he could without ripping his stitches. Dean had just taken a long sip of his beer and started coughing when Sam whispered in his ear, the blush on his face darkening. "Come on Sammy, stop being childish, you're gonna rip your stitches open if you keep squirming like that", Dean coughed awkwardly, eyes fixed on the TV screen, trying his hardest not to look at Sam who was licking his lips tentatively. "But daddy I thought you liked it when I squirm", Sam sighed into Dean's ear, his voice all deep and dark. Dean jumped up, spilling some of his beer on himself. "Oh fuck off Sammy! So I might have a slight daddy kink, so what, it's not like you're the fairest of the maidens either", Dean muttered, wiping his shirt so he didn't have to look Sam in the eyes.
Sam laughed at his brother's obvious discomfort. "Oh come on Dean, I was just teasing. You know how much I like it when you get all hot and bothered. Maybe that's my kink", Sam smirked, getting back to taking off the rest of his clothes. He tossed his jeans and his plaid shirt on the floor next to the bed and got comfortable, resting against the pillows. When Dean saw Sam's eyes fixed on the TV again, he slid back on the bed and under the covers. They both rested against the pillows, side by side, sipping their beers in silence. Dean crawled a bit closer and pulled Sam into his embrace again. Sam allowed him, letting out a content sigh. There was nowhere in the world Sam would have rather been than in that dingy motel room, tugged deep into Dean's embrace.
"I love you, jerk", Sam whispered, entwining his fingers with Dean's. Dean smiled. "Love you too, bitch".