Me: We were just going to say penis and such, but I decided better of it. This fic is the spawn of Hayley and me. Always a good sign. Enjoy this bitch of a fan fiction.
Hayley: Enjoy the epicness that is the bastard child of Tara and I. :D
-*-8-*-
Mello was going to kill him. He really was. An hour ago Matt had downed a whole 2 liter bottle of Dr. Pepper and had been bouncing off the walls. You would think a 19 year old could handle a bit of caffeine and sugar. Apparently Matt couldn't. He had been bugging Mello non-stop since he finished the drink, rambling on about games and other useless garbage, successfully distracting Mello from his work.
Mello had tried everything. Even earplugs wouldn't help. And when Mello had tried headphones, Matt whined and had gotten Mello to take them out.
The blonde, completely unable to work by now and knowing absolutely everything about Final Fantasy XIII and Zelda, slammed his laptop shut and rubbed his temples hard.
"GOD! Would you just please shut up?! I'm actually trying to work you know?! There's this serial killer, called KIRA out there, I'm sure you've heard of him! So right now i don't really give a damn about some random piece of gaming info you want to tell me!" Mello swiveled around in his chair an glared at Matt. The look he was now giving Mello was similar to the look a beaten dog gives its master. Mello instantly felt guilty about yelling, before watching the hurt look turn into a harsh glare.
"Jeez, Mels, out of all the people, I thought at least you would listen to me. Should I just 'leave you alone,' then? Or would you rather scream at me some more? I thought you would understand the distractions my mind needs..." Matt glanced away, having a sudden urge to jump on the unoccupied side of Mello's couch, but controlling himself enough to sit relatively still.
Immediately Mello's anger at Matt came back to life.
"Well I'm sorry for your "needs" but in case you haven't noticed catching Kira is pretty damned important!"
"No! What's important to you is beating Near! You don't really give a damn about catching Kira! Only becoming 'number 1.'" Matt spat back instantly. Mello growled, standing up and knocking his chair over, stomping towards Matt.
"Matt, I must beat Near," He snarled, stalking closer with every word, causing Matt to step back with each of Mello's steps, eyes wide. "But, the only way I can do that is to get that bastard, Kira, and being number one would help a whole lot! I'm sorry I'm trying to save the fucking world!" His last words were close to screams, and Matt was now against the wall. Matt glared right into Mello's cold, blue eyes and shoved him away from him. "Who gives a fuck about beating Near anymore?! We're not kids and L is dead! Get. Over. It."
Mello was taken aback by Matt's reaction. Never in all the years that he had known Matt, had he ever stood up to him like that. "What the hell has gotten into you Matt?!"
"Oh, I don't know Mello, maybe I'm sick of my 'best friend' treating me like a throw rug? Or maybe I'd just like to have a real conversation for once."
Mello growled again. "Oh, I'm so fucking sorry that I want to help the world. What the fuck do you wanna talk about anyway? You're too jacked up on caffeine!" Matt's glare faltered, a hoard of thoughts going through his head. What did he want to talk about? He'd never thought about it. The single thought that ran through his head that he could make out was his past, which he honestly didn't need to think about, because he'd never want Mello to see him break down...
Matt's angry glare quickly fell into a frown. "You know what? Just forget it Mello, it doesn't matter anyways." Matt made his way over towards the door, grabbing his pack of cigarettes on the way out.
Matt's sudden mood swing disturbed Mello. Matt was not one for being overly emotional, something was wrong.
Just as Matt reached the door Mello raced over to him and grabbed his arm.
"Matt, wait..."
"Let me go Mello."
"No, you wanted to talk, let's talk" Mello swung the redhead around to face him, and was shocked to see that Matt had tears in his eyes. "Matt... are... are you alright?!" Matt blinked the tears away quickly, praying to God that Mello hadn't noticed.
"I'm fine, Mello, let go, please..." Mello's heart raced. He'd never seen these emotions in Matt's eyes.
"Matt, come on, talk to me, you're the one who said you wanted to have a conversati--"
"No! I'm fine! Let me go!" Matt yanked his arm, failing at breaking free and having a hard time keeping control over his emotions. He needed to get away. Now.
Mello quickly pinned Matt against the wall, effectively stopping him from escaping. "No Matt, you wanted to talk and now your all upset so TALK."
Matt looked down at his feet avoiding eye contact with Mello. "Do you ever think about your parents?"
"Wh-what?!" Mello was completely taken aback by the question.
"Your parents, do you ever think about them?" Matt turned his green eyes upward to look at Mello's face, which was a mix between shock, confusion, and contemplation.
"No, I don't" Mello responded
"Why not?"
"I didn't really know them." Mello shrugs. "I was two when they died, Wammy's is the only thing I remember about my childhood." Mello looked at Matt curiously, "Do you?"
"Yeah...I do..." He responded after a moment. Mello waited for Matt to speak again. "I think about them a lot... The video games help me to not think about them so much, that's why I had a nervous breakdown when my Xbox died and the handhelds were all dead..." He looked to the side, at his newer Xbox, then looked back into Mello's eyes. "I've...never talked to anyone about them. I don't think anyone knows at all, besides me..." He sighed, his breath shaky, before breaking from Mello's grasp and hugging him, burying his face in the blonde's chest. Mello was surprised by Matt's sudden show of affection. They hadn't really touched each other like that since they were young. It made Mello's heart race and face flush. He was really enjoying the feeling of Matt pushed up against him. Before he knew what he was doing, Mello had wrapped his arms around Matt and pressed his face to Matt's hair.
"Do you want to talk about them?" Mello asked quietly.
Matt pulled back a little and glanced up at Mello. "I... I don't really know..."
Mello simply nodded in response and pulled Matt back against him. Simply holding him.
"I loved them you know, my parents I mean." Matt said randomly a few minutes later. Mello stayed silent waiting for him to continue.
"I remember every Friday my mom would make my favorite treat at the time, it changed every week but she always knew what it was somehow. And my dad, heh, my dad well he was the one who made me love video games. He bought me my first gaming system for my birthday one year, we would always play it together..."
Mello began running his fingers through Matt's hair in an effort to calm him down. It surprised him when it worked. Matt pulled back and smiled up at Mello.
"The first Saturday of the month my dad would always drive my mom and I to some random place. Either a zoo, or a toy shop, or something like that. I loved them... both of them... we were all really close." Matt took a deep shuttering breath and continued.
"One Saturday when I was six, my dad took my mom and I to a nice big park. We were walking along a nature path when a man began to follow us..."
Mello stared into Matt's eyes taking in every emotion that flickered through them as he told his story.
"Well...we didn't really...I didn't know what was going on. I of course noticed the man, and wondered who he was, but it never registered in my mind that..." Matt paused, stopping any tears from leaking, Mello, waiting for the red-head to continue his story. "My dad looked worried, I remember, and my mom just looked so...so happy...and so I was happy, and I completely forgot about the strange man, until..." Matt closed his eyes, resting his forehead on Mello's chest. "I heard him. He was closer than before. I remember my dad saying we should leave, and I asked him why so early. The man was really close, too close, and the next few minutes were blank, but I start remembering my father on the ground, with blood leaking from his back, my mother sobbing, a gun pointed at her...I guess I'd been pushed away by someone, because I was in a rose bush, with thorns, crying, and all I fucking did was watch as my mom begged for her life, and..." Matt clenched his teeth, tears finally flowing.
Mello stared down at Matt. He had never in all the years he had known Matt seen him cry, really truly cry. And now here he was, spilling out his past and crying in Mello's arms. Mello was so overwhelmed he didn't know what to do. He wanted to take all of Matt's pain and shove it away, but he didn't know how. The best he could do, was listen to him.
"She got on her knees and begged! My mom never did that! She was always so strong and seeing her begging was almost worse than my dad bleeding to death on the ground! And you know what the damned guy did! He laughed at her. I remember him tearing off her clothes... and I looked away. I couldn't watch. I may only have been six but I knew what he was doing to her. Do you know that her screams still haunt my dreams sometimes?!" Matt stared so intensely into Mello's eyes it took him aback.
Matt's tears were freely falling now, and he didn't even seem to care one bit. "Well at one point her screaming just... stopped... and I... I don't really remember what next. I just ran. I didn't even know where to. Eventually I made it back to the park entrance. The police came and asked questions. I didn't respond at all. I was in too much shock, my perfect world, it was shattered."
Mello took Matt's face in his hands and whipped the tears away and rested his forehead against his. Matt looked up at Mello surprised. Mello wasn't touchy feely, he never had been. Sure he would punch playfully or wrestle, but this, this was different.
"Matt... I..."
"Its okay Mels, you don't have to say-"
"Yes I do have to say something! I've been your best friend since we were like, seven, and now I'm finally paying attention! God damn Matt! I feel terrible!" Mello fumed.
Matt suddenly seemed to realize that he was crying, bringing his hand to his face and harshly wiping the wetness away from his eyes.
"I-I'm sorry..." Matt looked away, considering just breaking free from Mello's hold and leaving. "You're not terrible, Mels..." His eyes flickered back to the blonde's for a second before looking at his feet. Mello grabbed Matt's chin, careful not to hurt him, and stared into his eyes again, watching the emotions rush through them.
"Matt, I just want to listen to you..." he whispered, Matt reaching up to stop more tears before weakly smiling.
"Shit, look at me..." Matt laughed at himself, tears flowing again. Mello pulled the red-head back into his chest, holing him tightly.
"It's okay, Matt." He whispered into red hair. "It's okay...I'm sorry." Matt took a shuddering breath, still trying to hold back.
But that was when the tears began to fall. Matt buried his head into Mello's chest as if he were trying to disappear. His shoulders shook and his breath came out in gasps.
Mello clutched Matt tighter against him, hoping that he could somehow take away his pain. After what seemed like an eternity, Matt stopped crying and pulled away from Mello.
Mello frowned at the loss of contact with Matt. He wanted to have him back in his arms and hold him more.
"Sorry 'bout that Mels..." Matt said while staring at his feet.
Mello walked closer to Matt and rested his hand against Matt's cheek. This caused the redhead to look up at Mello with a slightly confused expression. "Don't you ever be sorry for something like this."
"Yeah... well... we really don't need to be thinking about these kind of things. You said yourself that catching Kira was the most important thing right now." Matt retorted. Mello paused before pulling back and looking into Matt's eyes, his most serious expression gracing his features.
"Matt, nothing will ever be more important to me than you are." He said, the words slipping out before he could think about what he was saying. "Catching that bastard is nothing compared to you."
Matt looked back, eyes wide in slight shock. He'd never thought he meant anything to...anyone. He grinned and brought Mello back against his chest, hugging him tightly, few tears escaping from the red-head. Matt held onto Mello tightly. "Do you mean that Mello?"
Mello glanced up and stared into Matt's eyes. "I mean every word Matty."
The use of his former nickname brought a grin to Matt's face. Mello hadn't called him Matty in years.
"What's with the sudden grin?"
"You called me Matty."
"Oh, I guess I did." Mello looked away and blushed. Matt held his grin, tears still blurring his vision, before pressing his head into Mello's neck.
"Thank you..." Mello glanced at the red-head's hair.
"Thank you? For what?"
"Just...for everything, Mels...thank you..." Mello blushed again, glad that Matt wasn't able to see his face. It was only then that Mello had realised something rather important...
He was in love with Matt.
Matt pulled back a bit from Mello and looked at him. "You alright? You look... really weird all of a sudden?"
Mello, realizing that he had suddenly gone stiff and was staring off into space, jerked himself back to reality and stared at Matt. How had he not known he loved him? Thinking back on it, he had always loved Matt but had just never wanted to admit it to himself. He loved everything about Matt, the way he sat for hours playing a video game until he beat it, the way Matt was always willing to run out and get him chocolate no matter the time of day, the way he....
"Mello? Seriously? Are you alright? You're kinda... zoning."
Suddenly Mello reached forward and grabbed Matt's shirt, pulling him against him and pressing his lips hard against Matt's.
Matt froze immediately, eyes wide, then as quickly as it happened Mello quickly pulled away with a sheepish look on his face.
"I..." Mello blushed deeper. "I'm sorry." He pushed Matt away and stalked into his room, leaving the red-head behind, still shocked.
Mello had...kissed him... And Matt desperately needed answers.
Sure, he'd never really thought about liking...well, anyone, but he never thought about Mello that way, but Mello had actually kissed Matt, and Matt had...
The red-head recovered from his shock, looking at Mello's closed door, debating on whether to go inside or brush it off...
In the span of ten seconds, Matt had been able to decide. He had to go in there. He had to go, because he obviously, undeniably, was in love with Mello, from the second they'd met, until now, when Matt had finally felt the blonde's lips on his own.
He swallowed hard, before slowly making his way to Mello's bedroom door. Matt grabbed the door handle and pulled it slowly open. Mello was sitting at his laptop, probably trying to do something with the Kira case again.
"Mels..."
"Don't, Matt. I'm sorry I made a mistake, I shouldn't have kissed you. It was just... an impulse." Mello said without looking up from his laptop.
Matt walked the short distance to Mello and pressed the laptop shut. "Mello, look at me please."
Mello ignored Matt and continued to stare at his now closed laptop. Matt sighed and gently cupped Mello's chin and turned his face up to look at him. Mello's heart pounded, bracing himself for whatever was coming for him; shouting, hitting...
"Mels, you're not sorry." Matt stated, watching Mello blink before speaking.
"What do you..." Matt leant forward, catching Mello's lips smoothly.
Mello finally kissed back, wrapping his arms around Matt's back, pulling him as close as possible.
After pulling back, if only an inch, Matt's lips found way to Mello's jawline, leaving soft kisses along the prominent bone. Matt soon stopped and rested his head against Mello's, looking into his ice blue eyes.
Mello tilted his head forward and pressed a soft peck onto Matt's lips. "I love you Matty."
Matt stared in quiet shock, then a pleased grin broke across his face. "I love you too Mels."
Mello suddenly jabbed Matt in the ribs with a playful expression on his face. "I think you need to drink caffeine more often." Matt flinched lightly, still grinning.
"That sounds like a plan." Mello smiled back, continuing to leave soft kisses on Matt's lips and cheeks. "Matt," Mello pressed his lips on Matt's.
"What?" The red-head smiled softly, returning another kiss.
"Fuck the Kira case." Mello kissed Matt again, longer this time, letting Matt get over any shock.
"Q-quit the..." Matt blinked.
"Yes. Once and for all. I'm not risking your life for this..." Mello kissed Matt again to make his point, hugging him tighter than before. Matt took a moment to process, before letting a huge grin break onto his face and knocking Mello to the floor with a loving hug.
"Are... are you serious Mello?" Matt said in a shocked tone.
"Yeah Matt, I am. If I continue working this case I'll end up just putting you in danger." Mello stated calmly, looking into Matt's eyes.
"But what about beating Near."
Mello gave Matt a cheeky grin, "Fuck Near, who cares anymore?" Matt took a moment to process, before letting a huge grin break onto his face and knocking Mello to the floor with a loving hug.
"Mello, I love you, so much." Matt kissed Mello deeply, Mello returning the kiss the same, wrapping his arms back around the red-head.
"I love you, too, Matty." He whispered between kisses, almost wishing Matt would just melt into him and be there forever...
Mello nuzzled himself into Matt's neck, wrapping his arms securely around his waist. Matt smiled and glanced down to look at Mello.
"So what are we going to do now that we aren't going to be working on the Kira case anymore?" Matt questioned.
Mello turned his eyes towards the ceiling, a thoughtful expression coming across his face. Matt waited patiently for an answer of any kind, happy to just be in the blonde's arms.
Mello thought, all possibilities rushing into his mind, considering them all, before making a decision.
"We'll live, Matty."