The moonlight shining down on the faces of the Shaman Council cast them in an eerie yellow light. The ground was damp from rain earlier that day. Wet grass tickled the soles of his feet and squelched in-between his toes, and Naboo wished that he had thought to put shoes on before he left the flat. There was a definite chill in the air, and he folded his arms tightly across his body in an effort to block out the cold.

"Naboo, the enigma," the voice of the Head Shaman boomed out loudly across the table, "we have summoned you before us today to ask you a favour."

Naboo groaned inwardly, "This isn't going to be like the time you borrowed my magic carpet, is it?" It had taken hours to get the stains out, and it still had a funny smell whenever it got a bit damp.

"Nothing like that, no. Actually, I was hoping to borrow your friends."

Naboo thought about it for a minute, "Alright," he said, "but I've only got up to series six, and sometimes the last disk of series five won't play properly,"

"Naboo, you plonker!" cut in Tony Harrison from his position on the table in front of Saboo, "He's talking about the moron twins - Howard and Vince, is it? - Not some crappy American sitcom!"

"Oh, as if you don't love it," Saboo said, "I saw you crying your eyes out when Ross and Rachel broke up."

"Do me a favour! I had something in my eye. The H-Man does not cry!"

Dennis banged his hand down hard on the table top, "Can we please focus? Yes, Naboo, I need to borrow Howard and Vince. Just for a few hours. You can have them back straight afterwards."

Naboo's eyes narrowed in suspicion, "What do you need them for?" he demanded.

"Oh, just a spell..." Dennis glanced from Naboo to Harrison to Saboo and back. All along the table the members of the Shaman Council were looking at him curiously, waiting for more information. "Oh, for goodness sake! It's a love spell, all right? It's a love spell to use on my cheating wife. I'm going to make her fall in love with me again, and then I'm going to dump her. Ha!"

"That's ridiculous!" Harrison exclaimed, "I know that spell, the moonlight spell, right? You need a couple in love. They need to make love at midnight under the light of the full moon while you say the incantations."

"Harrison's right, Dennis," Naboo told him, "You've picked the wrong couple, it's never going to happen."

Dennis shook his relatively small head, "I assure you, Naboo, that I have seen irrefutable proof that these two are deeply in love. Nothing you say will change my mind on this. It has to be them, I don't know any other couples that don't already hate each other."

Naboo rolled his eyes, "Look, it's not like that, okay? I know they're in love. You know it – though I don't know how – but Howard and Vince? They've got no idea."

"Then tell me, Naboo," Dennis' eyes took on a menacing gleam, "Why is it that I saw them kissing on your roof during that awful party, just seconds after they both told me that they were in love?"

"Dunno," Naboo shrugged, "they've got a weird sense of humour, maybe it was a joke? Look, I'll ask them, okay?"

"This is not a request, Naboo. Bring them here or face the consequences."

Naboo sighed, "Alright, alright, I'll bring them, but I can't guarantee they'll do what you want."

Dennis smiled, "All you need to worry about is getting them here by midnight on Friday. The rest, we have ways of making sure that will happen."

That didn't sound good at all. If he was less stoned, he might have been worried. Naboo shrugged and unrolled his magic carpet, "Fine. But don't break them, alright? I need them in one piece." With that he jumped onto his carpet and disappeared into the night sky.

Naboo arrived back at the flat to find Howard and Vince watching TV with Bollo. He ignored them, let himself into his room and sat on the bed. This was not good. This was very not good. How was he supposed to get Howard and Vince to go with him to the Shaman council? If he told them what Dennis wanted, there was no way. If he didn't, they'd demand to know why. And if he didn't tell them or lied to them to make them go, they would never trust him again afterwards. And...they kissed? Howard and Vince? Surely not. The head Shaman must have been mistaken. Or hallucinating. He was incredibly over-sensitive to drugs, maybe he spent too long in the same room as something and it affected him.

Naboo lit some incense, rolled a joint and tried to think of any possible way that this could end without him losing two rent paying employees who worked for a pittance and didn't mind sharing a flat with an ape. He couldn't.

A knock on the door distracted him from his thoughts and he looked up to see Vince's head poking around the door. "Alright, Naboo. We're going to watch Howard's new Captain Cabinets DVD, you wanna join us?"

Naboo tried to take a drag on his joint, but it had gone out. He set it down in the ashtray Vince had made him for his birthday, nodded wordlessly and followed his friend out into the sitting room.

As usual, Howard was the first one awake the next morning. He carefully moved Vince's arm, which had found its way to laying across his chest during the night, and crept reluctantly out of bed. He put on his slippers and dressing gown and headed to the kitchen to make the tea.

As he crept through the flat in the half light of the early morning, he noticed Naboo still laying on the sofa, snoring quietly. His arm dropped down onto the floor, brushing the carpet just next to a bong that had been pushed over. There was water everywhere. Great, now the sofa and the carpet were going to stink of bong water.

Sometimes, Howard wondered whether he should move out, find himself some more adult-suitable accommodation. But Vince loved it living above the shop, not having to get up until the last minute and still getting to work on time, or Vince's version of on time, something most people would consider to be outrageously late. Even Howard's most subtle hints that they look for their own place had been met with immediate rejection. And where Vince was, Howard was too. That was the way it worked. Besides, he'd never be able to afford somewhere on his own.

Naboo stirred in his sleep and Howard froze. They were nearly out of teabags, the last thing he needed was to be denied his morning cuppa because Naboo woke up early. The Shaman resettled, and Howard crept past unnoticed. When he tried to sneak past again carrying the tea, Naboo was gone.

Vince was late down as usual. Howard didn't mind, it gave him time to tidy Stationery Village and put on some music that might provide the customers with a little more ambience than Vince's usual electro pop. People were more likely to stay and browse if they enjoyed the music, and Howard knew that deep down, even if they didn't realise it yet, everyone liked jazz. Even Vince.

Still, as much as he appreciated a bit of alone time in the morning, by the time Vince sauntered in two hours later, Howard was too bored and irritated to even ask for his excuse. Instead, he muttered "I'm going out," grabbed his coat and a bag, and walked out of the door.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Vince called after him, but the door was already closed, with Howard on the outside.

Vince sighed loudly and looked around the shop for something to do. He surreptitiously picked up a few random items from Stationery Village and hid them underneath the counter, switched off Howard's jazz record, then sat down behind the till, crossed his arms and waited for something to happen.

Being Vince, it didn't take very long. Less than five minutes later, Naboo stuck his head around the door leading to the stairs up to the flat, "Did I just hear Howard leaving?" he asked.

Vince nodded, "Yeah. He wouldn't say where." He thought about it for a minute, running through every possible explanation for Howard's storming out as soon as he arrived, "Maybe he's gone to buy me a present,"

"Why? Is it your birthday?"

Vince considered, "Dunno, maybe. I'm not very good at keeping track of the date. Why? I don't look older, do I?"

Naboo shrugged, "A bit, yeah. Anyway, Vince, can you do me a favour?"

Vince grabbed his emergency mirror from underneath the counter and checked his reflection for signs of ageing. "I suppose, depends what it is."

Naboo sat down on the other stool behind the counter and explained to Vince everything that the council had said. When he had finished, he spun around and looked at Vince, waiting for a response.

Vince stared straight back, replaying everything the shaman had said in his head, then he laughed. "That's hilarious, Naboo! I didn't know you were funny!"

"It's not a joke," Naboo frowned to emphasize the seriousness of the situation, "If the two of you don't appear before the Shaman Council on Friday night, I'm dead. For definite this time, Tony Harrison's been itching to get back in that executioner's mask ever since you saved me that last time."

"Oh. But..." the side of Vince's mouth twitched as he tried to suppress another giggle, "There's no way. Look, Naboo, Howard's a good mate, the best, but I'm not going to shag him. He'd be rubbish. And even if I wanted to, there's no way he'd agree. Especially not with the whole Shaman Council watching. Yeah, if it was just the two of us in our room and I turned on the charm, I reckon I could seduce him – well, I know I could – but that lot leering at us, it might ruin the mood, y'know?"

Naboo took a deep breath and tried to clear from his mind the disturbing image that Vince had planted there. "All Dennis said is I've got to get you there. I do that and I'm off the hook. You just need to refuse to play along, and that's it, there's nothing they can do about it, it there? Just say you're not in the mood."

"I did have other plans, you know. Why did it have to be Friday night? Couldn't they have picked a rubbish night, like Tuesday or something?"

"That's when the full moon is, and trust me, you don't want to try getting him to upset his schedule."

Vince thought about it, then nodded slowly, "Fine, I'm in, but I dunno about Howard. I can't imagine him being up for it."

"Yeah, about that," Naboo stood up and started walking back towards the door, "can you talk him into it? Cheers." And then he was gone.

Vince stared after him in irritation, then moved the paperclip and sellotape from under the counter and placed them carefully back exactly were he had found them. It was a good joke, but maybe he'd try it sometime when Naboo's life didn't depend on Howard agreeing to something so completely ridiculous.

Howard strolled back into the shop in a much better mood than when he had left, with a spring in his step and his head full of music. He nodded to Vince as he walked through the door. As he passed Stationery Village, he paused for a second to reposition a paperclip and a piece of sellotape that seemed to have moved out of place while he was away, then he sat down behind the counter.

Vince grinned widely, "Did you get me a present?"

"What? I went to the gym for the morning jazzercise class. Why would I have got you a present?"

"Naboo reckons it's my birthday,"

Howard 's brow crinkled in confusion and he shook his head, "Your birthday's not for five months, Vince."

"Oh, right." Disappointment clouded his features for a split second before another grin chased it away, "You doing anything on Friday night?"

Howard nodded, "I am, as it happens. I've made plans to take Leicester Corncrake out to a jazz improv night in that new club. Poor guy, since he got decapitated, he doesn't get out much."

"Ah. Right. So, you're doing that all night then? Listening to jazz in some old people's club with a disembodied head for company."

Howard nodded. "That's right. Do you want to come with us? But I warn you, it can get pretty crazy at these things. People getting up on stage completely unprepared, some of their stuff is pretty raw."

"Yeah, sounds like fun but I reckon I'll give it a miss. What time are you going to be home?"

Howard regarded Vince with suspicion, "Who are you, my mum? What does it matter what time I'll be home? Have I got a bed time? It isn't a school night, you know."

"Yeah. Erm, the thing is, I've kind of agreed that we'll help Naboo out with something. It's not til midnight, but you'll need to be back for, like, eleven so we can get there in time. So just be careful if you're gonna go into a jazz trance, yeah? Make sure you wake up in time to get back."

Howard dumped his bag of gym clothes on the floor and frowned, "What have you agreed to, Vince? This isn't like the time you volunteered me for a game of Pelt the Rabbit, is is?"

"No," Vince shook his head, "not exactly,"

"Good, because I meant what I said, you know. About what I'd do if you did it again."

"I know," Vince nodded.

"Then what?"

Vince sighed, "We've just got to go with Naboo to see the Shaman council and tell them we're not interested in shagging each other in the middle of the forest while they all watch," he paused and bit his bottom lip, "Unless you are interested, that is."

Howard' mouth opened to reply, but there were, literally, no words that could possibly provide a suitable answer to that. Instead, he shook his head from side to side once in disbelief, picked up his gym bag again, opened the door and walked up the stairs to the flat. Vince grinned to himself and got back to his sketch of his own face that he was doodling on the back of a letter marked IMPORTANT.