Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara.
Warnings: Rated for sexual themes.
Summary: Shinra sends both Izaya and Shizuo a pair of cursed headphones that turns one of the two most powerful men in Ikebukuro into a complete shop-a-holic and the other into an overly confident ikemen*.
Shizuo blinked several times as the world around him came into focus.
"Did I drink last night?" he muttered, wishing immediately that he hadn't woken up. The bedsheets, not his bedsheets, but someone else's bedsheets, slid off of him, revealing a pair of headphones on the mattress alongside his stark naked body. A snore next to him nearly made him jump out of the bed, but he restrained himself at the very last moment with a monstrous determination and managed to slide quietly off instead. He looked at the still sleeping figure, messy black hair peeping out from under the blankets. The sounds it made were far too deep to be female.
He gulped and decided he had to escape as fast as possible. Shizuo glanced around for his usual clothes but found nothing but white and pink garments strewn all over the floor. The stranger groaned and snuggled deeper into the sheets. Forget his clothes, anything will do. He somehow found a disgusting vivid stripped pink shirt that fit him lying next to the closet door. The one pair of Shizuo-sized pants had been abandoned next to a pair of what he recognized as his own boxers. At least he didn't have to steal those.
He gave the sleeping figure a last glance and tiptoed out of the room, grabbing the pair of headphones Shinra had given him from the bed on the way out.
"What the hell?" he muttered when he exited the room, closing the door behind him as softly as he could. A sea of pink and white engulfed what looked like used to be a study on the floor below. Various food and cat plushies lay strewn across the desk surface and sofa, a huge stuffed bear hugged the computer monitor on said desk, little pink and white rugs covered most of the floor, and a single soft stuffed white rabbit with a light pink bow sat in the revolving chair as if it ruled over this wonderland.
He descended the stairs into the ocean of clouds only to be filled with more incredulity when he realized what this all meant.
That man he saw must be the owner of this place.
He had slept with that man.
"What the hell?" he repeated again, unable to find any other words to describe his situation. He glanced around the room one last time to see if the owner had woken up and finally ran for it. He opened the front door, restraining himself with all his willpower to not destroy it and alert the entire building.
Thankfully a relatively normal looking hallway greeted him, and the fortissimo of Ikebukuro bolted for the elevators as soon as he closed the door behind him.
.
Izaya woke up with a groan, massaging his neck where a pair of headphones had dug into his skin and concluding that he must have fallen asleep on top of them. He yawned, proceeding to stretch only for a wave of pain to radiate down his back.
"Huh?" He looked down. "Huh."
The informant glanced at the rest of his king-sized bed to find it otherwise empty, so he opted to crawl out instead to continue his investigation. The soreness nearly drove him straight back, but he managed to make it to his drawers and slid on a fresh pair of boxers. He trudged over to the closet to grab some other clothes before something struck him as very odd. He blinked several times to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
Izaya then stared at the contents of his closet with eyes so wide they might have popped out of his head had he managed just a bit wider. All of his jackets had turned white: the fur, outer shell, the inside lining peeping out from the collar. He ran over to his drawers and pulled those open too. Instead of black, bright neon pink greeted him, this time in the form of long sleeved v-neck shirts. Still not believing what he saw, Izaya returned to his closet and pulled one of the alien garments out to find something even more distressing: four pink buttons sewn neatly with pink thread on the front of the fur-trimmed jacket.
He gawked wordlessly at the article of clothing for another moment before finally yelling, "Namie!" at the top of his lungs, forgetting that it was still too early for work.
.
24 Hours Earlier
"What is this?" Izaya asked himself, being the only one in the room, as he ripped the tape off the box. Inside was stuffed with a mountain of bubble wrap, and he found himself shuffling though it for a few seconds before finally finding the main package.
"Oh?"
He chuckled. Of all the souvenirs Shinra could've sent him from his extended vacation with Celty, the doctor just had to pick a set of white and pink headphones. The thing was bulky, and Izaya was certain that he wouldn't be walking around with it like an accessory, not to mention the color combination was completely opposite of what he would normally buy.
He put the headphones on, humming to himself in amusement.
15 minutes away in Ikebukuro, a certain debt collector ripped open a package of his own.
"What the hell is this?" Shizuo muttered as he took the headphones out of the box. "Freaking Shinra, sending me all this crap."
.
It was… so cute! Everything was so cute! He made himself dizzy with all his turning as he took in the entirety of the shop, pink and white shining all around him. He didn't know where to start. There were the furry rugs for that drab main living room of his flat, various plushies he could line the soulless sofa with, and of course he must buy one of those giant bears, just because.
It had took him long enough to take care of the closet, tossing out all the dark and depressing coats and shirts onto the bed and replacing them with a fresh assortment of white and pink.
He hummed to himself as he got to work, grabbing the nearest cake plush off the shelf.
An hour later, the contents of the store was somehow balanced on the lone register, and the cashier gaped at him as he whipped out his credit card.
"Ah, how will you be able to carry this back?"
He thought for a moment. He hadn't considered that earlier when he was picking out everything. "Do you have a same-day shipping service?"
"Uh..."
He smiled sweetly. "I'll pay."
.
He felt different, confident, beautiful. A pair of girls walked in front of him, chattering away about their shopping, and he found his eyes following their every step. He loved the way they walked, their tiny waists playfully swinging to the music that started playing in his own mind.
He felt too confident. He put on his best smile and stepped forward. "Excuse me…"
Half an hour later they had situated themselves outside at one of the hip cafe's, light alcoholic drinks gracing their table under the beautiful clear sky this spring day.
"Aw, you're such a tease!" one of the girls squealed, pressing a fingertip to quiet him. Delic grinned and opened his mouth to tell the two in his arms another story when the most beautiful creature suddenly walked past them, carrying several shopping bags in his arms.
"What's wrong?" the other girl asked. She raised the straw of her own cocktail for him to drink. "Are you thirsty, Delic?"
He paid her no mind, his heart stolen by the angel that had passed him by. The chair fell to the floor as he jumped out of the open dining area and onto the street, the pavement cracking where he landed. He paused, knowing that he must approach cautiously if he were to win the other's hand. The opportune moment will come soon enough.
He followed the bouncing angel for a while, watching the other enter and exit stores at random, emerging often with a new shopping bag.
He finally mustered up the courage to follow the other inside of one, finding himself surrounded by white and pink.
"Wah, this is so cute!" the angel exclaimed, eyeing a bunny at the top of the shelf. His perfect lips made a pout as he wondered at how to reach the stuffed toy.
This was his chance! Delic walked over and took it down for his angel, turning the plush over in his hands to look for the price.
"Ah, yes," the shopowner said, having finally made it across the store. "That is our one of a kind, special edition."
Delic emptied the remainder of his wallet.
They were back at the angel's house, a strangely cold place. He frowned, wondering how in the world the other could possibly live in such a bland modern home void of any decorations. However, one called Psyche promptly started taking things out of his many shopping bags and began displaying them all around the living room. He smiled and proceeded to assist the angel, first placing the bunny on the VIP seat in the room: the swiveling computer chair.
The doorbell rang, and he opened it to reveal a mountain of other items Psyche had purchased to decorate the desolate apartment.
Delic worked hard that day, more than he had ever worked in his life. The white and pink rugs covered the bland floor, the stickers went up on the bare white walls, and of course all the black coats had to go. They admired their handiwork; the apartment had been turned into a fairyland of clouds and rainbows; stuffed food and cat plushies decorating almost every corner.
"Thank you for today!" Psyche planted a chaste kiss on his lips. "You deserve a reward!"
Delic smiled, cupping the other's chin with his hand. "And what might that be?"
The angel grinned playfully and hopped onto the stairs. "Let me go up and shower really fast! I'm really sweaty from all that shopping!"
Delic followed him up the stairs, cornering his prey at the door. "Oh, I don't think that would be necessary," he breathed huskily before capturing the other in a heated kiss. He opened the room door, guiding his angel to the bed, the one remaining item in the house that was still cloaked in black bedsheets.
Psyche slid off his furry coat before grabbing Delic's jacket from behind. He allowed his angel to remove his prized white blazer. They struggled a little with freeing his hands without breaking the kiss. It finally came loose and he worked on his tie as Psyche unbuttoned his shirt.
The rest of their clothes followed soon after, and the bed moved with their passion, his pants and Psyche's moans filling the quiet dim room. He caught the other in another deep kiss, their sweaty bodies pressed deep against one another.
Delic finally collapsed on top of Psyche, breathing heavily in satisfaction as he felt the other's hands touch his headphones. He mirrored the gesture, gently sliding Psyche's headphones off before drifting into a dreamless sleep.
.
The Present
Izaya wiped the sweat off his forehead; it had been a busy day for him, telling the people what they could take away and going out to buy all of his black clothing back. He still can't fathom the fact that it wasn't Namie that did it, and he had no idea where to start. Not to mention, his back still hurt from last night. What was up with that?
He didn't want to think about it.
Shinra's headphones rested on his desk next to his computer, and the rabbit he had found occupying his chair the day before remained where he found it. He walked over and picked it up, still not understanding why he couldn't bring himself to throw it away. Sighing, he decided it would at least make a good pillow of sorts and went upstairs to throw it on his bed. Besides, Namie would never let him see the light of day if she saw him with it.
*Ikemen: a good-looking man
Plot? What plot? This wasn't supposed to make any sense, but I hope you enjoyed it!
Thank you for reading!