Jack's Dream
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A ridiculous story. Honestly, tell me what you think, before I kill myself with my abundance of stupid-random-boredom-caused stories.
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Jack Sparrow was a pirate, albeit a very horrible one. Thankfully, he was better than most.
Lord Voldemort was a dark wizard, although not sure whether he was alive or dead at the moment. Perhaps he was a zombie?
Elizabeth Turner was an evil mastermind, the evil mastermind behind all the long winded plots in POTC. She was a despised character, and some people killed her off in stories just because.
Both Voldemort and Elizabeth were killed by almost rabid people who had been injected with a vaunted miracle cure that made them angry, very angry. The vaunted miracle cure also made them vampiric, but we won't go into that, as Fred has asked us kindly not to.
Jack Sparrow was walking down the street one day. It was a cobble-stone street, bordered by unnaturally neat, gothic-style houses. It was a bright sunny day, but no one was outside. The only thing that hit Jack Sparrow as odd was the fact there was no rum - never mind the fact that the street was wild with plants, never mind that there were deer and lions prowling, and never mind that he had a dog as a companion. He tried to ignore the gigantic spider that was crawling in a tree.
"Hey man," the spider said, "You know you'll be eaten by these vampiric people, eh?"
Jack stared at the spider, and trembled. "Not listening, not listening!" He said to himself repeatedly.
A random gargoyle on a church overtured a pot of boiling oil. Thankfully, it missed Jack. "It was supposed to be for your own good," the gargoyle explained in a matter-of-fact tone of voice when Jack looked at it.
"This is stupid," said Jack's companionable dog, which for some reason could spoke perfekt Inglish while employing parfect grimmar.
Suddenly, all the lights disappeared. The dreaded vampiric angry people flooded the streets. They made animal noises, which made Jack laugh. The spider hid in his tree, and the gargoyle flew away. Jack's dog gulped, and wished that he had never said the word 'stupid', because it was a very stupid thing to do.
"I hope this is a dream," Jack said while wiping away a tear. He continued, "It's the funniest dream I ever had, and I believe Davy Jones would kill me for it, because he promised to haunt my nightmares!"
"And so he shall continue to," a voice with a weird type of Scottish accent replied. Davy Jones appeared from behind a building, wearing the dress of a rockette. It was a nightmare all unto itself. Jack ran away screaming, and the vampiric angry people laughed.
"Get 'im, boys!" Davy Jones commanded, and the vampiric angry people obeyed. They pursued Jack Sparrow until he came to the very ends of the fish bowl he had fallen into.
"Swim away! Swim away! SWIM AWAY!" Jack squealed. He woke up from his dream.
Lord Voldemort and Elizabeth Turner did not die. Everyone continued to like Voldemort and hate Elizabeth, and the vampiric angry people conveniently stayed in their respective world of I Am Legend.
Sadly though, the talking spider was real, and turned out to be a new employee of jack, and the gargoyle did manage to pour boiling oil on him. It was very painful, but Jack Sparrow got his revenge . . . Eventually . . .