So I'm still quite new with this whole fanfiction thing, but I realized that there is quite a huge group on fanfiction that loves Greek mythology. So do I. And I thought maybe I can write an encouraging story, and through that maybe I can encourage many people. I promise I am not completely ignorant about Greek mythology. But this is not only meant to be entertaining with a bit of humor here and there, but it is also meant to encourage. And this will not be quite like them since my aim is to encourage you. You are valueable and important no matter what anyone tries to tell you.
This story is influenced by the book Till we Have Faces by CS Lewis. I hope you enjoy reading it and find some encouragement in it.
What's the first thing you do in the morning besides eating breakfast? I don't know about you, but depending on how tired I am, one of the first things I do is stand in front of my bathroom mirror. If I'm extremely tired, I either stare into the mirror and daydream about random things or go through the morning rituals or good hygiene like a robot.
Some days, I imagine myself giving a speech or singing, and I have to pull myself out of that daydream. Most days, I think of my appearance. Most of those days, I think like this: "People are just being nice when they say I'm prett or beautiful." Then I think in an even tone, "No, I'm not very pretty. But who cares?" When way down deep inside, a voice that I won't allow to speak, wants to shout, "Of course you care! You're not beautiful and you wish you were!"
Those thoughts take up most of my mind when I look at myself in the mirror. Well, sometimes we need someone to pull us out of our insecurities that only wrap us up tighter in ourselves and that make us lose sight of what's really important in our lives.
It was a few weekends ago that my parents' job took them to Portugal for five days. My younger brother stayed with a friend during that time, and I stayed home alone. Staying home alone wasn't so bad, but I had been out all night on Friday, and our apartment was in a sketchy district of Wien where arrests were made every day at our train station/U-bahn stop. I ran through our dark street as fast as I could, turned on the light at our door, and hurriedly went inside. I took our rackety, old elevator up to our door at the top floor. When I was finally inside, I locked the door, turned on all the lights, and buried myself in my safe haven.
"Why didn't I decide to spend the night at a friend's house tonight? I ust don't have the same kind of friends I used to have," I thought sadly. But I was tired, so my mind wasn't really thinking straight. My friends were more than I could ask for.
Needless to say, I managed to sleep well that night, despite being alone. The next morning, I enjoyed a quiet breakfast, and then continued to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth. With a smile, I examined my straight teeth and... well, almost perfectly white teeth. As my eyes traveled up to my bangs that framed my face, I held back a groan. I held back a groan as I looked at my hair, my eyes, and my nose.
That's when strange things began to happen. Trying to shake off the feeling of disappointment in my lack of beauty, I grabbed my face cleanser. What I saw on it shocked me, and I dropped it in the sink. Did I just see my name on it? After blinking a few times, I picked it up and saw again that it had the name Hailey on it. Why did it have my name on it? No one could have pranked me. I was home alone! My confusion deepened when I read the words, "take te veil from your eyes and see the beauty I see. Love, the one and only-" The one and only who? When I turned it around, I saw the name in bold across the back: Aphrodite.
Aphrodite? Was my mind playing tricks on me? Nope, when I blinked a few times-even left the bathroom and closed the door and came back-the message did not disappear. According to this mysterious message from the Goddess of Beauty, I was beautiful. Or did I misunderstand the message?
When I looked at the mirror again, I laughed on the inside. She had to have been talking about something else. "Look at me!" I thought. My hair is the color of dishwater, my eyes are supposed to be blue but instead are an ugly, green, yellowish color, and my nose doesn't match up with the rest of my face.
All of a sudden, my reflection shook its head-but I hadn't even moved my head. Thinking it had to be a trick of the mind, I was shocked when my reflection winked at me. Clearly, I hadn't winked. I feared I was developing some type of mental illness. Then my reflection began to talk to me as I kept my own lips pressed together.
"So you don't ignore my message but instead call me a liar?" I slapped my face a few times to wake up from this strange dream. "Hey! That's not going to help you right now. Would you relax and just listen to me instead of yourself for a second?" I stood still, but my eyes widened.
"I just can't believe that my reflection is Aphrodite. That's impossible," I said incredulously.
"Oh, you are not Aphrodite. I"m just taking the shape of your reflection right now so that I can talk to you."
"Why don't you just show yourself as you really are?" I wondered.
"Honey, you would not be able to stand in my presence, cause my beauty is beauty at its max," she replied with a proud smile. "And as I knew it would, showing up like this got your attention."
"Wow," I breathed.
"See? There's your signature smile. I can clearly see your beauty-and I'm the Goddess of Beauty-so explain to me why you call yourself ugly." I was surprised, and then realized that my reflection was just me again.
"But my hair is-" I began to think to myself, when she returned in my reflection.
"I know, I know. Your hair is the color of dishwater, bla bla bla."
"Exactly," I muttered.
"And if your hair was more blond it would be the color of mustard," she said sarcastically, "Or you would hate something else about your looks. My point is, all this fuss is getting you nowhere, and for one thing, it's a waste of your time."
"But I feel like with you it's different-" She didn't give me time to finish my thought when she interrupted again.
"By whose standard are you measuring your beauty? A cartoonist? Hailey," she addressed me by my name which felt strangely good, "think of me as that person who knows good art when they see it. I know beauty when I see it. Don't you trust the Goddess of Beauty herself?"
Some sense was knocked into me. She was a divine being, and I had just shown her disrespect by believing taht others knew more about beauty than her. Why was it easier for me to believe the world over a divine being?
But one thing bothered me. When I was little, even though I was much cuter and prettier, the boys didn't seem to care as much abut that kind of thing, and there were many boys who liked me. There were a few times where we promised each other we would get married when we grew up.
Now that I was actually a teenager, guys weren't so bold about telling a girl how they felt, but that didn't mean they didn't tell her. For some reason I became awkward around guys and they didn't tell her. For some reason I became awkward around guys and they didn't seem to notice me. I assumed it was because I just wasn't pretty enough.
"Ah. You always imagined falling in love and getting married, and now you're afraid that won't happen," she said, summing up my deeper thoughts. I sighed and nodded. "First off, you need to stop worrying so much about your appearance, and I'm not saying you should completely discard everything and not care how you dress or look. There are occasions where you should dress respectfully or present yourself professionally. When you enter a relationship it's not about taking, it's about giving."
"And I've tried not to be selfish and vain," I spoke out loud. "But it's so hard."
"Everyone struggles with it. I mean, look at all those people who think they own the world, or those people who think their rights are more important than others, or those people who think their comfort is more important than reason. The message I want you to take away, is that in this context, you are your worst critic, and in that that case, the mirror is not your best friend, so start listening to the people who love you."
My smile appeared again, and my reflection smiled back at me so that I wondered if Aphrodite was still there.
"So you think there is a good chance I will get marrie done day?" I asked her.
"That is for you to find out." I was glad she hadn't left yet. "But my advice is to continue learning and growing, and don't focus on the relationships you don't have. Focus on the relationships you do have. If you fall in love, my son Eros will guide you. If you get married, Hera will be the one to guide you."
"Thank you, Aphrodite. For the advice and everything," I said with a slighly shy smile.
"Well, I'm just glad you listened. Ignoring my advice would have been a problem for you." With some humor in her voice she said, "Take care, mortal girl."
My reflection was my own again, but the smile remained. When I looked at the bottle of face cleanser, it no longer had her message on it. Everything was back to normal, except now I didn't see and ugly girl in the mirror anymore. It was time to move on to the rest of my day. I always told myself I would do homework on Saturdays, but in the end I could never push myself to do it on a Saturday morning. That didn't stop me from trying to get started. Since I don't have a desk in my room, I often do homwork at our dining room table, but sometimes I felt more comfortable on the living room floor. So I spread all my school stuff out on the floor. I opened my history notebook and sighed.
I was getting a D+ in my favorite class, why was I still bothering? The thought made me want to slap myself. I was going to pull through for my awesome teacher. Since I was taking the IB HL History course, I would have her until I graduated, and the funny thing was, I had had her in eighth grade, ninth grade, and tenth grade. For my inspiring teacher, I was going to stick with it and pull through. Besides, I was only doing poorly because I was behind on my homework. And yet, at that moment, I just couldn't do homework. Instead, I turned to my favorite hobby: writing stories.
When writing stories, even today, I often get stuck. No matter how much I loved one of my ideas, I would always get stuck. I glanced at the keyboard next to our Chinese closet in our living room. Ah! Music. My lvoe for music has never died. My ability to create real music with instruments... has never come to me. But I thought, as I occasionally thought, that it might be fun to play what little I did know on the piano.
After failing to remember how to play the whole song of Mary Had a Little Lamb with even one hand, I sighed and shook my head, wondering what I was doing. All of a sudden the piano started playing music again, and I checked to see which demo suddenly turned on, but then I freaked out when I realized something.
The keys don't move when a demo plays...
I listened to the music. It had started with a dramatic glide across the keys as if opening the show of an important celebrity. It was on the regular setting, and it became more heavenly, kind of like: Hallelujah! Hallelujah, hallelujah! Not on the regular setting but on one that wasn't available on this particular keyboard. I stared at the keys in amazement, and saw that it was like the person was really playing it with two hands.
Suddenly, I jumped up when I heard a voice sing.
Helloooo-oo-o, Mortal giiirrl, yououng Haaaiileey, the voice began to sing, drawing out some of the words like an African American gospel singer.
"Haha!" the voice laughed louder than it sang, which socked me even more. But then the music continued again.
I am... Euterpe! Goddess of Music, she sang in a perfectly heavenly voice that I can't even describe.
Take this advice from a muse. At this I rolled my eyes, understanding perfectly well that she was making fun of my music skills.
"Hey, I haven't had the practice you have! You've been around for long enough to get this good at both playing and singing," I defended aloud.
Now toss out the shame
And let's get down to my real aim
You love writing stories
But your mind swiftly turns to squirrels and cookies!
"That's not even true! I hardly ever think about squirrels, and I don't think about cookies that often," I argued, growing frustrated.
That's called being poetic, my dear, and you call my sister if you need tips on that, she sang to my annoyance. But it still sounded perfect when it shouldn't have. She sped up the tempo.
No confidence in your writing skills, oh! You think you're not good enough
Listen to these words, oh child, stop being afraid of what's tough
Oh just pour all your love into it, and don't worry so much
Listen to these words of min
Beauty is divine
A thing inside you
So don't feel so blue
No one's got it all
Stop making yourself so small, and she began to slow down her tempo again, dear Hailey, it becomes a more challenging to see around you
Please take this advice from me,
Don't give up just yet on your dreams.
"Thank you. You have no idea how encouraging that was," I smiled at the piano. Where else was I supposed to look?
"Your welcome." Now. Go. And. Do... Your Hooommewooorrk! She sang along with multiple voices.
At this my shoulders slumped and I glared at the piano. The music stopped. I wondered suddenly if this was a prank my mom was pulling on me, but I remembered Aphrodite and knew that couldn't have been a prank.
So I mustered up enough self-motivation to do some history. That lasted thirty minutes and then I got stuck again. Instead, I went to my favorite news channel to see what was going on int he world. since there was a lot going on there, news popped up about the Middle East. This time, it really caught my attention. There was a video and article about Syria.
People isolated in Syria were starving. Things were getting so... There's no word strong enough to describe it. My heart broke for these people. Those children. I read an article about bombings from Europe that missed their target and hit innocent people. whether that was mostly propaganda or not, it made me feel depressed.
And then my thoughts became more self-centered. When there was not that much news about Death's Infamous Assistant who rose up in Syria, I wanted to travel there. My heart was set on going there and learning about their culture. I wanted to help innoncent people there. And even when this nefarious Assistant of Death rose up, that didn't change. It was up until I began to thinkt hat they didn't need another idiot there, that I began to have doubts. What could I possibly to do there?
As I was thinking about these things again, I clicked on a new title, and immediatly the video started without me even clicking on it. It did not start off like a normal news video but with a news reporter talking into the microphone. Behind her, you could see the devestation she was reporting on.
"Hailey! Yes, you Hailey! Pay attention." The reporter was beautiful and professionally dressed in such a way that caught my attention anyway. "Let me ask you this question. are you ready?" I nodded quickly. "Why are you thinking about yourself right now?"
"I-" Tears began to well up in my eyes. She continued in her steady reporting voice, "You know that these real people and you sympathize with them so stop thining about your insecurities. They have nothing to do with this. And toss aside that agenda of yours!"
This time the tears did fall, because I truly felt remorse for my selfish thoughts and motives. After a few moments of weeping she spoke again.
"Dry those tears," she commanded firmly. "Stand up straight. You are speaking to Athena, Goddess of Law and Justice."
I did as she commanded and stood up straight with an expression of awe on my face.
"Are you ready to listen to my message? Good. Then asnwer this question. Why do you possibly think you need to be a one-man-army? What human has ever succeeded on his own to carry out the task of an army? Not even a policemant succeeds on his own. Why are you only thinking about yourself and what you can do? And ser this question. Where are you right now?"
"I'm in Austria. In Vienna," I answered, knowing where this was going.
"This is not your training ground for anything you choose to do in Syria. Where do you currently go every ordinary day?"
"I go to school. High school," I mumbled.
"Speak up! Speak clearly! Are you a soldier or not? Do you want to fight evil and injustice? You are already on the battlefield! You know very well there is evil in Vienna. You knwo that your school is not perfectly safe from evil. Get up and fight using your weapons. Don't hold back. Don't hide from the danger on the battle field and don't hide from your fears.
"Do you think that because Austria is simply not on your heart that you can waste these last two years here. You're not on the training grounds, you're in the warzone. There is no peace in Austria, so don't create that illusion for yourself. This is a country in the world we're talking about. If you want to reach out to Syrians now, look around you.
"Thousand of people who left their homes have come here, and you know what it's like to be away from the place you love. You know what it's like for other people to think so little of the country you love so much, the home that you love so much. You never chose to come to Austria. There. You have something in common. Now get out there, and build genuine relationships, and listen to them describe what's going on and how they feel. Begin to understand the people you are surrounded by. There is no peace in Austria! Step out there and fight war with compassion. With thoughtfulness. With love. Pure love is the opposite of evil, and therefore, that is your weapon. Get out there and be courageous, Soldier!"
I stood dumbfounded for a moment. That was a lot to take in, and I absorbed it as best I could. She was right. The whole time I was looking towards the future. Towards future relationships and future plans. But I was missing out on the present relationships and situations. I was missing out on current events.
"You will help me, though, right?" I asked for assurance.
"Of course. I am the Goddess of Srategic Warfare," she prclaimed. "You need my assistance in this battle. And remember this strategy: A one-man-army is not an army, it's an idiot. Be an honorable soldier and watch out for your fellow soldier. Be humble and confident. Remain teachable no matter what. Fight for waht is right and therefore fight with integrity. and most of all, be strong and courageous!
"If the battle brings you to Syria it will not be a safe school mission trip. It will be a grave danger zone. There will be no time for your insecurities or your comfort. There will only be time for your stand in the battle. If you have not been called to Syria, don't rest patiently in the middle of this battlefield. Step out there and be a real soldier. Fight wherever you are commanded.
"Never forget this. If you fall, get up again. The honorable soldiers don't stay down when they fall." She concluded this with a reassuring smile, "Hailey, you are not alone in this."
The video stopped but it appeared as though the video had never started. I didn't click paly or even look at the article on the page. All I could do was reflect on what Afrodite, the Muses, and Athena told me. At first, I thought feeling slightly sceptical, that Aphrodite and Euterpe had contradicted each other. Soon, I realized they had not. They were boht giving two sides of the message. Focusing on my insecurities like I was, was preventing me from being less self-centered. It was preventing me from being able to pay attention to others. They were saying I should be humble and confident. I should be like a teachable soldier while at the same time remember my training and be confident in it.
One of the most difficutl was that in order to fiht this "battle" even with my "weapons", I needed to step out of my comfort zone. It's tough to have empathy when you're tring to be comfortable. And that was especially true in school. the more I focused on what others thought of me and I tried not to make a fool of myself, the more I prevented myself from being a good friend and schoolmate.
A thoughtful smile spread across my lips. Greek Goddesses themselves gave me a personal lecture. A lecture that was much needed.
Since the rain had stopped, I decided to open our slanted windows to let in some air, I realized that the sun was beginning to shine. All of a sudden, I saw a rainbow in the sky. My smile widened.
"Thank you, Iris," I sighed.
I didn't change overnight. I still struggled with these things afterwards, and I got frustrated that I wasn't seeing a change in myself. Even though I thought I wasn't growing and changing, They never gave up on me. That reminded me to keep moving on.
We live in a time period with billions of people in the world. That should motivate us to invest in more people. The only way to invest in so many people is to put aside our insecurities and our own comfort. If more people truly invested in other people, there would be much more love in the world. That sounds clichè(sorry, I know how to spell this, just pretend that last letter is correct) and cheesy, but what would happen if more people tried? What is the worst thing that could happen?
As for me, well, I'm currently far from perfect. While I am part of the battle, I have not learned everything yet and have plenty of room for improvement, but I am growing and pressing on. Trust me, if I can do it, then so can you.
Glossery:
Death's Infamous Assistant: (this should be obvious, but just in case) ISIS
HL: High Level
IB: International Baccalauriate: a school program that is very intense, and you take the same courses for two years (11th and 12th grade), unless you're not doing the full program. Then you can decide how many courses you want to take and you can drop any of them whenever you like.
Wien: Vienna
Hailey is not exactly me. She's kind of based off of me and my life, but we all have insecurities and struggle, and I tried to keep hers average and simple. And obviously, this is heavily influenced by my Christian viewpoint. My point is, don't believe the lies about you value, whether you are a Christian or not. You are important in this world and you can make a positive difference. Also, I don't want you to think that all I care about are the Syrian refugees. There should be more compassion for all the refugees in the world, but my family has actually built good relationships with Syrian families, and they are kind (but very different) Muslim families. I understand being shy of people whoever they are, but trust me, stepping out of your comfort zone can really open your eyes. Don't hold other people's opinions so high. I have been way to focused on my comfort in the past, but God continues to push me because he never gives up on me. Here are two Bible verses that go with this story: "He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out." John 10:3 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Thank you for reading my story! And please let me know what you thought. I will post a second part to this so that I can reply to reviews.