lol so I found this in a "discarded writing" folder and realized I wrote it shortly after the Halloween cheating reveal and never posted it. [shrug emoji]

Title from "I Don't Mind," by Phantom Planet.

This is how I felt things should have gone. #TeamValerie

Valerie was still sitting on the steps that descended into the Haunted Star, sobbing, when she detected the faint clicking of footsteps behind her. Panicking for a moment that it was Lulu, she jumped to her feet and grabbed blindly for her purse, every muscle in her body screaming at her to just run.

Part of her did want to stay, to reach out to her cousin and attempt to fix the mess she'd played a part in making, but she just couldn't bring herself to. Not like this, not when she was a jumble of raw nerve endings and smeared mascara. Not when Lulu had all the leverage now, and could—and probably very much wanted to—so easily hurt her.

Valerie turned on her heel to flee and ran into a firm, solid mass of human. A firm, solid mass of human that held her back at arm's length and inspected her mascara-streaked cheeks and disheveled hair.

"Lulu's not here," she muttered, wrenching her arm from Dante's grasp. Valerie ducked her head and hastily tucked some of her unkempt hair back into her braid.

"I—I know," he said softly, pulling away from her and tucking his hands safely in his pockets. "I came looking for you, actually."

"Why? Someone could've seen you," she said, glancing about desperately for an escape hatch.

Dante turned back toward the entrance to the Haunted Star for a moment, scratching at his chin stubble. "No one's out there. Place is a ghost town," he said, with a wry, rasping laugh. "I just wanted to let you know—"

"That I shouldn't bother coming into work on Monday? That I'm gonna need to find a new place to live pretty soon?" Valerie quipped, forcing herself to look Dante in the eyes. He glanced down and kicked his heel at the floor, at a piece of wadded up bubblegum someone had carelessly discarded in beating a hasty exit. "Has Lulu demanded I leave town?"

"No. Nothing like that. I just wanted to—to apologize again, I guess. For letting this happen. For—"

"Letting what happen, Dante?" Valerie asked, clutching her purse against her chest. "This whole mess at the Halloween party? That was all Dillon. You had nothing to do with that."

"No, I mean… Everything else," he said, waving a hand in the air inarticulately. Dante tugged at his hair in frustration. "Treating you like you were a dirty secret. Leading you on, letting—letting you think what happened between us could actually go somewhere."

Valerie looked away, inexplicably stung by his words. They felt like another rejection, a slap to the face, for some reason—a reason she didn't want or need to explore. "It's fine. It is what it is," she sighed.

"It's not fine. You're a good person, Valerie. You deserve a whole hell of a lot better than the hand you were dealt," Dante said, sighing too. He reached out to her for a moment, like he was going to touch her arm, but he clearly thought better of it and shoved his hands back in his pockets.

"Fat lot of good that does me now," she snapped, turning on him, surprising even herself with the fire to her tone. "All anyone in this town will ever see when they look at me is the homewrecking whore that tried to ruin the perfect marriage and hurt their precious St. Lulu. They're probably outside waiting for me with pitchforks and torches as we speak."

Dante rubbed his hands over his face and let out a weary groan. "I'm sorry she—"

"Don't apologize for her," Valerie said, laughing bitterly. "She was right, wasn't she?"

"You're not any of those things. A homewrecker, a whore. You were just—just in the wrong place at the right time," he said.

"What does that even mean? What the hell do I do with that?" Valerie asked, setting her mouth in a thin unhappy line.

"I don't know. I just… I wish I could make this all better. Snap my fingers and make this all go away." Dante looked up at the ceiling and laughed bitterly.

"Wish you could snap your fingers and make me disappear," Valerie added wryly, hugging her purse even tighter to her chest.

"No. Never," Dante said fervently and, in that moment, she almost believed him.

But how could he not have wanted that? To have never met her? He must have noticed the look on Valerie's face, because he continued.

"Despite everything that's happened, I'm happy I met you. I wouldn't change that."

"Just everything else," she said, sighing heavily. "Believe me, I would too. If I could go back and just tell myself, 'Don't do it, don't get tangled up in this mess' I would."

"You wouldn't have… With me…" Dante said, haltingly.

What did he expect her to say? Was this a trap? Valerie steeled her spine and looked Dante straight in the eyes. He probably expected her to look down, shy away from his intense, probing gaze, but she refused.

"I definitely would have done some things differently in the aftermath," she said, "but I wouldn't change anything about that night. I'm sorry if you were hoping for a different answer, but it's true. That night completely changed my life. It opened me to so many new feelings I don't think I ever would have acknowledged otherwise. Whether it's for better or worse, that remains to be seen."

"I wasn't hoping for any particular answer," he said after a few contemplative moments, his tone so quiet and soft she had to strain to hear him clearly. "I just—I feel awful about everything."

"Join the club," she muttered.

"My marriage is probably over," Dante blurted out, tugging at his hair again and rubbing his hands down over his face. "For good. Lulu took off with Rocco after you left. She's staying with Maxie."

Valerie sighed and looked at her feet. "I think I ended my friendship with Dillon," she admitted, since it seemed like Port Charles Honesty Hour was now in effect. "I laid into him for playing that sizzle reel, told him I never wanted to speak to him again. I came back here to talk to him, actually. I don't know what I was gonna say. I didn't have anything planned. Maybe I was gonna read him the riot act again. Or apologize for being too harsh. But he left. Probably for the best."

"What a mess," Dante said, with an angry little laugh.

"Also I—I think that I'm gonna hand in my two weeks' notice at the PCPD," Valerie said, mostly to the ground. She heard Dante gasp in shock but wouldn't let herself look at him as she explained her reasons why. "I'm going back to Pennsylvania, to the home I shared with my mother."

"You can't run away," Dante said.

"Why the hell not?" Valerie let herself look at him now. He had the gall to actually seem angry with her, dark eye blazing. As if his life wouldn't be a thousand times easier without Valerie in the picture.

"I don't get to run away," he said. "I understand the impulse, I really do. To just flee, lick your wounds, hope people forget and eventually move on. Believe me, if I could run away, I'd seriously consider it. But…" Dante trailed off.

"But what?" Valerie asked, glaring at him as she shouldered the leather strap of her purse. "You wanna use me as a human shield when Lulu or Maxie come around with their claws out, looking for blood?"

"No! I—I just don't think I can do this on my own, Valerie." Now he did reach out to her, let his fingers graze her arm, but she jerked away.

"I don't understand. Your life would be so much easier if I just left," she said, rounding on him, clenching her hands into fists. Her fingernails cut into her palm. "I tried to leave so many times, but you told me no, I had to stay! I had to get to know my Port Charles family! I couldn't go back to that empty, lonely house! I couldn't bail on our friendship just because other people were overly suspicious! Why didn't you just let me leave?"

Dante held out his open palms to her. To hold her? To hold her back? Valerie couldn't say for sure.

"Because I wanted you—"

"Oh, so that's how it is."

Both Dante and Valerie turned toward the voice. Maxie stood in the entrance to the Haunted Star, her hands on her hips, a disgusted sneer twisting her lips. She was still in her Cleopatra costume but she'd ditched the wig and her mascara had smeared.

"Maxie, it's not what it looks like," Valerie started.

"I don't want to hear it, you nasty, slutty piece of—"

"Watch it," Dante said, wearily.

"You! I've got some things I need to say to you too," Maxie said, hurrying down the steps and positioning herself between Dante and Valerie. "I thought you'd like to know that you've completely and utterly broken your wife. She wants nothing more to do with you."

Dante winced and dropped his head. "I'm well aware."

"And you!" Maxie whirled around to face Valerie. She jabbed Valerie in the shoulder with her finger and narrowed her eyes. "No one wanted you here in the first place! Lulu and I never trusted you, not for a minute! I always knew you were a snake, trying to slither in between Dante and Lulu—"

"Maxie, that's enough. Lulu does't need you fighting her battles. If she has something to say to Valerie or me, she'll find a way to get the message across on her own. Go home to Nathan," Dante snapped, grasping her by the arm and pulling her away from Valerie.

"How chivalrous of you, Dante. Jumping to her defense." Maxie snorted, shoving him away from her.

"I'm warning you, Maxie. This isn't a battle you want to be fighting. Not right now."

"Don't worry about it. I'm done with both of you," Maxie said, making a show of brushing off her hands. Once she was done, Maxie spun around and stormed out of the Haunted Star, the doors slamming loudly behind her.

Valerie looked after her, not even trying to fight the tears that were welling in the corners of her eyes. Despite the conflicted feelings she had for Lulu, the loss of her burgeoning friendship with her cousin was an ache in Valerie's chest. Valerie dropped her purse on the ground and staggered over to sit down in front of the entrance.

"Valerie?"

Valerie ignored Dante and dropped her head into her hands. The concern and care she heard in his voice only made the ache in her chest throb even more painfully. Now, she couldn't stop the tears from falling and she just didn't care.

A hand landed on her back and rubbed in slow circles. Valerie knew she should push Dante away, but what did it matter? What did it matter if Maxie came back and saw Dante comforting her? Things couldn't possibly get any worse from here. Valerie couldn't possibly get any lower.

"It'll be okay," he murmured, looping his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest.

Valerie lifted her head and wiped at her eyes. "You don't know that," she said, sniffling pathetically. "I have nothing. Absolutely nothing. You at least have Rocco. Sonny. Maybe Nathan."

"That's not true," Dante said, curling her close. "You're not alone."

"My mother is gone. The Spencer clan probably wants nothing to do with me now." Valerie continued to weep, shrugging Dante's arm from around her shoulders. "I should go back home."

"Valerie, please don't do that," Dante said. His voice was rough and tender, and it rubbed something raw in Valerie's chest. The affection just made everything hurt so much worse.

It would have been better if Dante blamed me, she thought, despairingly, as he put his arm back around her and drew her against his chest. It would be easier for me to leave.

"At least home felt like home. Even if it was just me, it still felt like…like a place where I was welcome," Valerie said, wiping futilely at her eyes. "You heard Maxie. No one even wanted me here to begin with. Why would I want to stay?"

"I know at least one person who wanted you here," Dante said.

"Dante, don't." Valerie sniffled and grabbed her purse, picking out a clump of Kleenex, which she used to dab at her eyes.

Dante moved his am to her waist and gave her a squeeze. "Seems like we're in the same boat here," he said. "Might as well see where it goes. Together."

Valerie lifted her head and looked him in the eyes. He looked right back at her, his face open and his eyes clear, like he actually meant it. "What are you saying?"

"You don't have to be alone. Let me be here for you," he said.

"People will talk," Valerie replied, finally looking away.

"Let them talk. You and me… We'll be whatever we'll be. I don't care what anyone else thinks. All I know's you're important to me, and… I really do care about you. I want you to be okay. And I want to be here," he said. "In whatever capacity that is. Whether it's as a colleague or a friend… Or more, after the dust settles…"

Valerie nodded slowly, and tucked her used Kleenex back in her purse. "It's a deal then," she said, offering her hand to him. "You've got me. And I've got you."

Dante wrapped his hand around hers and offered her a small, sweet smile. "Deal."

As they sat there in the Haunted Star, amidst the remnants of the disastrous Halloween party, while their lives crumbled apart around them, somehow it didn't seem so bad. At least, wherever this strange, long, twisted road led, Valerie would be traveling it with Dante. Perhaps as a lover, some day, but most importantly as a friend.