AN: I know I said I'd do a HeYa one-shot, but this wouldn't leave me alone. This is in the same universe as my Clowns and Backflips fic and it does refer to a moment in my one-shot (The Gleeks find Layers), but you don't need to have read those to understand this. Yes/No or any of the episodes after haven't happened yet.
Enjoy it!
Very minor spoilers for 'Michael', and if you have seen Michael then the first bit will make more sense and be much funnier (if you haven't, you won't get it and think I'm crazy).
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of the actors or actresses mentioned in this, duh, but I do own a laptop with a worrying amount of Naya Rivera and Heather Morris pics on it... ahem.
"Alright, everybody, you will all be sitting in pairs on the coach. It'll take a good 3 hours to get to the airport, where we will be almost straight onto the plane. Let's go!" Mr Schue announced with gusto in front of McKinley High School to the group of bleary eyed teenagers that stood in front of him.
None of them appreciated being at school at 5am.
After the New Directions had won Nationals, they had won two day trip to Myrtle Beach in South Carolina during Summer Break, and they had all arrived in the McKinley High parking lot at - as Santana commented – the 'Ass crack of Dawn'.
Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Quinn and Rachel were all stood next to the coach in a huddle, eying the Latina warily remembering the incident when they went over to her house for a Glee girl's party. They had witnessed her mood in the morning if disturbed when she was with her girlfriend.
Flashback
"You are all intruding on my designated Brittz time, so leave now, and save yourselves."
The Latina then proceeded to throw an alarm clock at them.
Brittany looked at the group, "Sorry, she can be a bit volatile in the morning".
She didn't sound very apologetic.
End of Flashback
They had been on the lookout for flying projectiles ever since.
The girl in question was at that moment snuggled into her girlfriends shoulder, glancing up every 10 seconds to shoot a glare at the teacher.
"Ugh, Britt, I swear to God if he smiles like that one more time I'm gonna-"
"Babe, calm your underboobs, 'kay" The tall, blue-eyed blonde whispered soothingly into her girlfriend's ear, causing the girl to giggle.
"Underboobs?"Santana questioned through her borderline hysterics.
"Yeah, you know, under the boob. It's a great hiding place; you can put anything under there." Brittany stated matter-of-factly to a now pensive Santana, who looked like she was planning something.
"Hmm, interesting. What about, say, a tape recor-"The Latina's sentence was cut off by the curly haired Glee director bounding over with the energy of the Duracell bunny on crack cocaine.
"Let's go guys! Woo!" Mr Schue shouted in their ears, causing the girls to cringe and exchange looks of confusion.
Santana voiced the question that was running through both of their heads.
Being Santana Lopez, she asked it rather bluntly.
"Are you drunk Schue?"
The man looked affronted, then a large grin burst across his face and he pirouetted once whilst giggling before he stood stock still with a straight face.
"No, of course not, why would you think that?"
"'Cos you're acting really, really weird. And like, when Santana drank a load of that funny drink that one time at Puck's party, she went all laughy, and then cried a little bit, and then a little bit more, and then crawled into my lap and stuck her tongue down my throat and her hand between my-"The blonde's recount was interrupted by her now crimson girlfriend.
"OKAY! That's enough Britt, why don't you get on the coach eh?"
Brittany realised what she had said, and she too blushed bright red and skipped onto the coach, but not before giving Kurt a big hug.
Will was silent.
Santana prodded him.
He blinked twice, and stayed silent.
Slowly, a creepy smile formed on his face, and it freaked Santana out, and so she had no choice.
She released Snix.
Or she would have, had Brittany not seen her 'alter-ego' begin to burst free and rushed from the coach to fling the brunette over her shoulder and race back to the vehicle.
Seconds later, Will blinked and shook his head, not noticing Puck standing next to the coach smirking as he added more vodka to the unsuspecting teacher's coffee.
It was only 30 minutes into the drive to the airport, and Santana was laughing at the most unlikely pair to be sat together on the coach.
They were sat in front of her, and she hadn't stopped antagonizing them since they sat down.
"Hey Faberry! Do-"
Rachel's head swivelled round in a disturbingly Exorcist like fashion,
"Santana, why do you insist on calling us that?"
The Latina grinned, "'Cos it's your couple name. Like Samcedes, Klaine or Brittana."
"Brittana?"Quinn swivelled around in her seat and peered through the gap in between the two chairs, intrigued.
"Yeah, you know, a mash up of mine and Britt's names."
"I prefer Santittany." Brittany chimed in before reaching her hands up to squeeze her girlfriend's chest.
"I know you do babe." Santana replied with a lewd smirk stretching across her face.
Rachel and Quinn looked caught between disgust and horror.
Both also looked a little turned on.
They had ended up sat next to each other after everyone else paired off in couples.
Rachel and Finn were 'off' and so the jolly green giant was sat next to Puck, Santana was with Brittany (duh), Kurt with Mercedes, Mike with Tina and Artie with Sugar. Sam was working again (not as a stripper) to help with the money issues his family were having, Rory was visiting his family back in Ireland and Blaine was on a holiday with his father, who had made more of an effort to accept his son, and things were going well.
This resulted in Quinn and Rachel being paired together, with surprisingly little resistance from either girl.
'Though... It could be something to do with the fact that Quinnie has barely dragged her eyes away from the dwarfs chest or legs since we sat down, or the fact that every time their eyes meet, the gnome practically screams, "MY BODY IS READY! TAKE ME NOW!"'
Santana thought this through briefly before returning to her girlfriend's lips, a much less confusing way to spend her time.
Neither Brittany or Santana noticed the way that Sugar gagged a little before swiftly turning back around, striking up conversation with Artie,
"Don't you just hate it when your parents make out in front of you?"
They had almost reached the airport when Santana had taken it upon herself to film the others on her phone.
She had collected some brilliant blackmail material.
This included a very interesting video of a sleeping Quinn and Rachel.
"Give it to me Santana! Give it to me!"Rachel yelled as she jumped up and down, attempting to grab the phone out of the Latina's hand, which she had above her head.
"Okay, first of all, that's what she said. And second of all, umm, no."Santana sniggered as the diva resumed her leaping.
"Hey babe, what's going on?"A previously slumbering Brittany was awoken by the noise.
"Look at this Britt, it's frickin' hilarious!"
The Latina handed the phone to Brittany, moving to hold Rachel back from grabbing it.
The blonde peered at the screen.
It showed up with a close up of her girlfriends face, scrunched up in the adorable way that it did when she attempted to hold back laughter.
"Hi! I'm Santana Lopez, and I'm going to introduce you to the ancient mating ritual of the biggest pressed lemon in the history of – well – the world; Quinnie Fabgay."
The camera panned around, shaking because of the laughter racking through the Latina's body, to show a sleeping Rachel and Quinn.
Their heads were pressed together, in a way that was cute, until Brittany noticed the reason that her girlfriend was still shaking with giggles.
Quinn had turned to fully face Rachel, and was doing something so weird, even Brittany raised an eyebrow and questioned the other blonde's sanity.
The hazel eyed blonde on the screen was slowly dragging her tongue up and down Rachel's cheek.
She was licking the diva's face.
She even went as far as the top of her head, licking the brunette's pristinely styled hair.
The dancer managed to hold her own amusement in for a full 5 seconds before joining her girlfriend and breaking out in fits of laughter, clutching her stomach.
"Oh wow Quinn, very forward!"
Rachel finally broke free of the Latina's hold and sprinted to snatch the phone away.
Brittany was too weak with laughter to actually hold onto it anyway.
It was at this point that Quinn finally woke up, frowning and smacking her mouth.
She lifted a hand to her tongue, and seemed to pull something off it.
"Why do I have a hair on my tongue?"
The four girls were on the plane next to each other – with an aisle separating them (Rachel got the aisle seat, insistent that she should be the first off in an emergency, in case she 'broke her talent' - and were in the middle of bickering.
"Ugh, I swear to God-"Quinn started in exasperation.
"Sacrilege!"Santana chimed in, smirking.
"Santana! That towel does absolutely nothing to hide what you and your promiscuous girlfriend are actually doing."Rachel butted in.
Santana stilled her hand.
"I don't know what you're talking about Midge."She replied simply.
"Oh please, Brittany practically fought tooth and nail for that window seat, so that she could, I quote, 'Watch for the shy cloud unicorns, and warn them to fly out of the way of the plane', and she hasn't looked out of that window for at least 5 minutes. We all know what you're doing, don't deny it."The diva hissed at the other brunette.
"Britt-Britt, do you know what they're implying?"The Latina asked her girlfriend, who was red in the face, was squirming in her seat, and had been suspiciously quiet for the past 10 minutes.
"Umm, San, if you don't start moving your fingers again, then I'm going to be a very, very sad panda."Brittany murmured quietly.
Sugar and Artie were sat behind them however, and heard the pleading whisper.
Sugar immediately paled, lifted her eyes as if to ask 'Why me?', and excused herself to the bathroom.
Santana's cheeks tinged pink at the request, but less than 10 seconds later, Brittany gasped slightly and buried her head in the crook of her girlfriend's shoulder.
Rachel watched with a mixture of amusement, horror and a little bit of curiosity until Quinn slapped her arm, and she turned around again to face forwards.
The plane had touched down at the Myrtle Beach International Airport, and the Glee club had rushed to get away from the dazed Brittany and Santana.
First in the rush was Sugar, who had returned from the toilets and immediately put in her headphones, drowning out the rest of the world, specifically 'Brittana'.
Then there was Mr Schue, Quinn and Rachel, Finn and Puck, Kurt and Mercedes and Mike and Tina, Mike pushing Artie with them.
Finally, Brittany and Santana lazily strolled off the plane, the Latina placing her sunglasses over her eyes as the bright sun hit her face.
They all waited for their bags at the conveyer belt, pushing their way through the mass of people to reach the front.
"Britt, no!"Santana warned her girlfriend.
"But San, I have to free all of the luggage elves working in there, you don't know the conditions that they have to work in! It's wrong and they need rights!"Brittany countered strongly, once again attempting to lie flat on the moving conveyer belt and go through the flaps at the end.
"Ok, first of all, you just want and excuse to ride the conveyer belt. Second of all, you've been reading Harry Potter again haven't you? 'Cos really Britt? Rights for elves?"
"Hermione makes a good point."Brittany mumbled, resigning herself to the fact that she had lost this particular argument.
"Uhuh, that's what I thought babe."Santana chuckled and bopped her pouting girlfriend gently on the nose, causing it to scrunch up.
The bags began arriving through the flaps, and Brittany spotted hers and Santana's and raced over before the brunette could, lifting both large suitcases with ease and smirking when she saw the Latina's eyes darken with lust.
"God, she's such a stud..."Santana thought, licking her lips as she followed the rest of the group outside into the sun, watching her girlfriend's biceps flex.
They exited the airport and felt the sun hit their skin, and waited while Mr Schue rang up the taxi company, requesting 3 taxis.
As they waited, Puck - being Puck - decided he was going to give the locals a taste of 'The Puckasaurus'.
This meant removing his top and showing off his abs.
Not to be outdone, Mike joined in and even Santana noticed that dancing and football had done him good.
Finn also removed his top, and whilst he didn't have the defined muscles of Mike or Puck, he had been working out, so he gathered some interest.
"They're probably wondering how he managed to climb down the beanstalk after Jack went and fucked it up."Santana sniggered at the attention some passing girls showed to Finn.
"Hey, Lezpez, who has the best bod?"Puck asked, flexing again.
Before she could answer with a snide remark, Brittany removed her top in a fluid motion, revealing a bikini top underneath and flawless, perfectly defined abs.
Everyone gawked (except Sugar, who threw up her arms in frustration and cursed under her breath).
"Sweet mother of God..."Santana whispered, and then broke into laughter along with the rest of the Gleeks as the blonde dancer joined the line of topless boys, flexing her arms.
She winked at Santana, which only caused her girlfriend to laugh harder.
"Sorry guys, but my Britt-Britt has abs that blow yours out the damn water."
Puck pouted, Finn shrugged and Mike chuckled and nodded in agreement.
"So are you done ogling my boyfriend's abs now?"Tina spoke up from the back of the group.
The club stared at her in shock.
"What?"She asked self-consciously
"Y-You s-spoke..."Rachel explained wide eyed.
"Okaaaay..."Tina drawled, not realising what the big deal was.
The club eventually shook themselves out of their amazement and made their way into the taxis and set off for the hotel.
After they had dropped their luggage off at the hotel, Brittany had broken away from the group to get ice-cream whilst the rest of the club changed into their beach clothes (which she had put on at the hotel).
She was walking back across the sand, finishing off her cold treat when she saw her friends making their way towards her.
Mostly, though, she saw her girlfriend.
Her hot, sexy, skimpy bikini wearing girlfriend.
She hastily ate the remnants of her ice-cream and set off in a sprint towards the Latina, who had spotted Brittany.
Running towards each other, Brittany zoned out briefly, realising it sorta looked like something out of Baywatch.
"Mmmm, San would be a hot lifeguard..."
She focused back on present just on time to see Santana stumble, do a forward flip and disappear.
Eyes widening, she began to run twice as quickly, she reached where she had last seen her girlfriend.
"San! Where are you!"
She was looking frantically round when she heard a groan from below her.
Looking down, she saw that Santana was flat on her back, spread-eagled in a deep pit in the sand.
"Ugh, fuckin' hole, who the eff put that there? Isn't there a frickin' law against that or something?"The Latina grumbled, pushing herself off the ground and brushing herself off irritably.
Brittany tried valiantly to hold in her laughter.
She failed.
"I-I-I'm sorry San! B-But you where there and then – like – you weren't!"
The brunette pouted as she grabbed the dancer's outstretched hand and hauled herself out of the hole.
She allowed herself to be pulled into the warm embrace of a still giggling Brittany, although what she saw behind the blonde made her freeze.
In the sand next to the hole sat a toddler with a small spade, laughing at her with a glint in his eye.
Santana immediately freaked out, pointing accusingly at the young child.
"B-Britt, it's after me! It-It did it deliberately!"
Brittany turned around to see the toddler happily throwing sand in the air, rolling about under the watchful eyes of his parents.
"Babe, the toddler isn't after you, 'kay?"
Santana shook her head,
"It must be the heat. I could have sworn it was laughing at me."
As Brittany turned to walk away, Santana thought she saw the toddler raise its middle finger up at her and laugh.
Shaking her head again, Santana set off to find something to drink.
"Must be dehydrated..."
"San! Sanny! Babe get up! I wanna go swim with you!"
Santana groggily opened her eyes and immediately raised her hand to protect her eyes from the glare of the sun.
"Ugh, what Britts? I'm gettin' ma tan on."
Brittany knelt down in the sand next to the towel that Santana was lying down on.
She pouted.
"No Britt."
The blonde whimpered.
"N-no, I-no Brittany."
The dancer pouted, whimpered and then made her eyes well up with tears.
"Ugh, Brittz, that is so unfair."The Latina grumbled, exasperated, as she sat up and brushed the sand off her body.
Brittany managed to hold in a victorious smirk, instead she squealed and pulled her startled girlfriend towards the sparkling water, where she could see the rest of the glee club splashing around.
Santana saw that it looked cold.
Santana Lopez doesn't do cold.
She dug her heels into the ground, making her excited girlfriend stop pulling and turn around, frowning.
"Britt, I'm at a beach, with sun. I plan on being very warm. That water looks the very opposite of warm."
The blonde simply tilted her head, trying to figure out a way to get the stubborn Latina in the sea.
She rushed forward and swept the girl up in her arms and cradled her, bridal style.
Santana giggled and let out a very girly, un-Santana like scream as her girlfriend carried her towards the waves, laughing.
Instead of fighting, she simply wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck and snuggled closer, inhaling the smell of Brittany and the beach.
Neither of them knew that they would return her in less than 10 years time, only instead of bikinis; they would be wearing beautiful white dresses
Brittan waded into the water until the waves lapped at her waist, and she gently lowered the Latina into the water.
Santana barely noticed the chill of the water; she was lost in the deep blue eyes of her girlfriend.
She leaned up and connected their lips together in a soft, meaningful kiss that tasted of salt and chapstick and Brittany.
Pulling back, she rested her forehead against the blondes, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
"I love you so much Brittany Pierce."
The dancer blushed at the intensity of her girlfriends words, but replied,
"I love you so much Santana Lopez."
Realising how cheesy she was being, Santana blushed and bit her lip, looking down into the water.
Suddenly, she felt something touch her foot.
"Umm, Britt?"
"Hmmm?"The blonde replied, lost in fantasies of being at this beach in 10 years, but instead of the Glee club, a small blonde, brown eyed child is there with them.
Santana felt it again,
"I-Is that you touching my foot?"
"What? No, don't know what you're talking about San."
"B-Britt, there's something biting my toes!"
Santana leapt up and down in the water, attempting to avoid the vicious 'predators'.
'What is it? Oh my God! It's a shark!'The distressed Latina thought.
"B-Britt, fuckin' SHARKS! They're biting my toes, OH MY GOD! I'm going to DIE!"Santana jumped and practically climbed up Brittany's body.
Not that the blonde was complaining.
Her face ended up in between Santana's – now heaving – breasts.
The brunette heard Brittany's amused, muffled voice,
"Babe, what sort of sharks bite peoples toes?"
"Tiny midget sharks! This is karma for all the insults I throw at the walking talking garden gnome! That bitch set them on me! The dwarf sent fucking SHARKS after me!"
The Latina began to hyperventilate.
"Umm, babe, you're gonna have to get off me, 'cos I can't breathe..."Brittany spoke calmly from her girlfriend's chest, gently stroking her back to calm her down.
"Besides, I don't think Rachel is able to concentrate on sending sharks after anyone. In fact, I don't think she is concentrating on anything apart from Quinn's tongue down her throat."
That got Santana's attention.
"I knew it!"She slid off the blonde and began to do a dance that Brittany recognized as the 'Naya dance'.
They had gone to watch Glee live in concert, and Brittany had spent the night leering at Naya Rivera, and Santana had spent the night fan-girling over Heather Morris (both noticed a distinct resemblance to their girlfriends).
"Get some Quinnie!"Santana screamed towards the two girls, who broke apart slowly before turning to glare at the grinning Latina in unison.
"It's her way of saying she's happy for you, but she's just too shy to tell you."Brittany supplied as an apology for her now blushing girlfriend.
"Why thank you Santana, I really appreciate-"Rachel's sentence was cut off by a sloppy, open mouth kiss from Quinn.
'That's one way to shut her up I guess...'Santana thought before remembering that her girlfriend was in a skimpy bikini less than a foot away from her, and their lips hadn't touched in 2 minutes.
As she captured the blonde's lips again, she thought,
'I've got some catching up to do...'
The sun was setting, casting a mixture of reds, oranges and purples across the sky.
Santana sighed happily, and snuggled further back into Brittany's strong embrace.
They were sat together on the sand, with the Latina settled in between her girlfriend's long legs.
Santana hummed quietly to herself as she rested on the blonde's chest, remembering the events of the trip.
The Glee club was heading home the next day, and the two girls had slipped past Mr Schue so they could watch the sunset.
She turned around in her girlfriend's arms, looking into blue eyes as a love struck smile formed on her face.
"You are so, so beautiful Britt."
Santana watched as a pink glow appeared on the girls cheeks.
"You are literally glowing."Santana continued, smiling wider when Brittany looked away bashfully.
"San..."
"What?"
"You're making me blush."
"I know, I like it."
Instead of answering, Brittany buried her head into the crook of Santana's neck, inhaling deeply and pulling her closer.
"Well, I think that you are the most beautiful person ever, San."
It was the Latina's turn to blush, feeling her heart speed up and feeling her stomach flutter.
"Hmmm... It's a breathtaking view isn't it?"Brittany murmured absentmindedly, running her fingers through silky black hair.
"Yeah it is Britt, it really is."Santana replied, not taking her eyes off her girlfriends face.
As the girl blushed once again, Santana had a single thought in her mind,
'Not as breathtaking as you...'
AN: So, did you like it? Reviews please, they make me flail :D I'm thinking about doing another one-shot about when Brittana went to the Glee Concert (Brittana, HeYa and abs...)
The thing with the fish nibbling toes actually happened with my dad, who is a big guy (a big guy who was jumping up and down to escape the fish that were 'eating' him.
Also, if anyone needs a Beta, I now have a Beta profile set up, so PM me :D
I will update my other stories very soon, I promise ;D