Prologue
Twelve years ago Mai, Zuko's beloved wife, had finally given birth to a healthy, beautiful, baby girl. After three miscarriages, they'd finally done it; they'd delivered a happy and healthy baby. Uncle Iroh, Mai, Katara, who'd helped deliver the baby, and Aang had all said they'd never seen Zuko as happy as he was when his wife handed him the little pink bundle that held his daughter. His face lit up, expression softened, and eyes watered until they fell as a few wet tears, like he'd never experienced before. At that moment, he'd instantly fallen in love with a child he'd hardly known. He'd protect her at all and any cost; hell, he'd even kill someone for that baby if he had to. Mai and Zuko decided to name their daughter after Zuko's long-lost mother, Ursa, in honor and memory of her.
This unconditional and love for his daughter also left Zuko with a feeling of pain and confusion at his own father. Had his father ever loved him and Azula the way he loved Ursa? Did Ozai look at him when his mother handed him the little bundles the way Zuko had looked at his daughter? How could all of those feelings then vanish with time? And, how could a father not harbor those feelings at all? The thoughts made Zuko cringe even more at how spiteful he was towards to his father and his fear of becoming the twisted megalomaniac even more intense. His father was a sick, abusive tyrant and he'd rather die than be like that, have his little girl grow up under the upper hand of a monster. On that day, he swore, and coaxed his wife into allowing, Ursa to have a blissful ignorance of Zuko's treacherous past and childhood. He didn't want to lie or hurt her, but he'd believed this would be for her own mental good.
This didn't stop the developing questions, the hushed whispers at dinner, the elbowing to his friends when something came up, the dragging in the reluctant lies from his uncle who vehemently opposed Zuko's cover story of his life. Iroh had said that his daughter had a right to know her legacy, to know it so she could learn from it, and be proud of her father's correction, be proud of how her nation recovered and know that it was not impeccable, nor was her family, nor was this world. Iroh was deeming this as another checkmark on the list of his nephew's terrible decisions. Yet Zuko insisted upon it; he always said that maybe when she was "of age", but vaguely defining its meaning. The questions of his growing daughter spurted each and every day.
"Daddy, why is there a boo-boo on your face that never ever gets better?"
"I burnt myself in a training accident as a child, sweetie."
"Who's my poppop on your side, Daddy?"
"Unc- Iroh."
"Where's your Mommy? Mommy has a mommy."
"She died when I was little. You're named after her. She would've loved you very much."
"How did you become friends with Uncle Aang?"
"The avatar and Fire Lord are always friends and know each other."
"What happened to Aunt Azula?"
"She's very sick, too sick to have visitors or they'd get sick too."
"Where'd you meet Aunt Katara? How'd Uncle Aang and Aunt Katara meet?"
"Aang was learning waterbending there, and learned from her. I met her when Aang brought her as his girlfriend to me, to learn firebending from me."
"Why isn't Grandpa Fire Lord?"
"He wanted to open a teashop instead after awhile."
"Where did you meet Aunt Toph?"
"Same as Aunt Katara, Uncle Sokka, and Aunt Suki. Uncle Aang brought her with him to learn firebending."
"What's the matter with your tummy? Why is there another boo-boo that never goes away?"
"It happened at the same time as the scar on my face during the training accident."
"What's this war I hear at school about? When we attacked everyone and killed them? It was terrible! Who was Fire Lord Ozai?"
"It happened a long time ago."
And, the lies would go on for years and with Zuko's stubborn adamancy on it, his wife, uncle, and friends would reluctantly comply. Ursa was living in an ideal world of a fairytale-esque delusion.
Ursa was now twelve-years-old and was still incredibly sheltered for her age. Her ignorance could be mistaken for unintelligence had not it be known of her sheltered upbringing. Her ignorance of recent Fire Nation history didn't prevent Ursa fro excelling, however. She was a profligate firebender on par of the skills of her biological aunt; she even had the rare ability to manipulate blue fire. Ursa also was trained by her mother to be a very skilled knife-thrower and she was also very good, with the careful coaching of her father, with dual swords. She was very intelligent and knew politics well and was full of compelling idealism that Zuko admired and was very proud of. Another trait of hers, a certain gene of her father's, was her quick temper, with anything, especially her perfectionist attitude, would cause Ursa to go into a temperamental rage in a very short gauge.
Ursa also was very close friends with the children of her father's very close friends. Due to political obligations, the kids would tag along, and see each other quite frequently. After every political meeting in Republic City, a routine followed of the three girls, Kya, Lin, and Ursa relentlessly pleading their parents for a sleepover. Zuko would complain at the incessant begging, but eventually cave in to his daughter and her friends' demands. Nine times out of ten, the slumber parties, much to Ursa's disappointment, were at the Fire Nation Palace. Kya and Lin, no matter how many times they visited, could not overcome the lure and mystique of the royal palace and loved to spend the night there in their own canopy beds.
And, so, yet again, Zuko, Toph, Aang, Katara, and Mai had caved and the three girls were flying back on an airship, giggling, on their way to another one of their favorite slumber parties. The airship at last landed at the palace and the giggling group of pre-teens raced towards their favorite and typical spot in Princess Ursa's elegant bedroom. As Zuko watched his daughter and the two little girls he loved like nieces run off into the palace he couldn't help but allow a grin to creep upon his face and his eyes to soften. His wife then snuck up beside him and rested her head upon his broad shoulder. Zuko wrapped his arm around the woman's slender waist and kissed the top of her forehead.
"She's happy," Zuko said.
"Yes, she is," Mai agreed, also a small grin on her pale lips.
"I'm glad she can be what I never was," Zuko said softly.
"Zuko," Mai said a bit more seriously as he turned to his wife with concern.
"What's wrong?" Zuko asked and his wife sighed.
"It's just…" Mai began, about to broach the subject of having her entire life be fed to her as a lie. Mai knew what this meant, she knew that her daughter would have to find out eventually, she was smart, and no matter how well trained Zuko had everyone, it was too big of a secret to stay one. Mai knew that when her daughter unveiled the truth, no matter how long it took; the result would not be a happy family greeting. "Never mind."
"You sure?" Her husband asked and Mai reluctantly nodded as she bit the bottom of her lip. She then cupped her hand around his jaw and gave him a peck on the cheek before solemnly walking inside.
Meanwhile, Lin, Kya, and Ursa were sitting on Ursa's large and silken bed that was dyed a chestnut-tinted red.
"I love your room, Ursa, I'd kill to have a room like this," Kya said as she plopped down on the comfy, silky mattress.
"Thanks, Kya, but you say that every time," Ursa grinned.
"So, what do you guys wanna do?" Lin asked as she smooshed her face into one of Ursa's satin pillows.
"We could do anything! We could…go have the chefs prepare us some ice cream or…we could go see a show! Or…we could go shopping or we could practice for pro-bending or…" Ursa began listing endless amounts of activities.
"Yeah, yeah, let's save those for later, alright, Princess Pyromania?" Lin interrupted. "Let's do something a little less regal…"
"Like what?" Kya asked bluntly.
"Let's play truth or dare!" Lin concluded.
"Truth or dare, bleh," Ursa moaned as she stuck out her tongue and pointed to it to express her disapproval.
"Yeah, what Ursa said: bleh," Kya said as she emulated Ursa's actions of dissonance.
"No, you guys, it'll be fun this time, I swear!" Lin vouched for her game.
"Fine, fine, fine, it can't hurt anything," Ursa agreed as she and Kya crawled over near Lin on the enormous bed and sat Indian-style in a small circle.
"Who's first?" Kya asked.
"I'll go, since it was my idea," Lin averred as the other two rolled their eyes. "Hmmm…." Lin pondered, "Kya...truth or dare?"
"Ughh…I pick…dare!" Kya decided and Lin smirked.
"Alrighty then, Kya, I dare you to…Waterbend a splash of water right at Uncle Zuko and Aunt Mai's face!" Lin said with a huge grin on her face.
"No way!" Kya exclaimed as Ursa's started laughing.
"Do it!" Ursa abetted.
"Are you joking? Your parents will send me to sleep outside!" Kya shouted.
"No they wouldn't," Ursa insisted.
"Don't be such a pansy, Kya!" Lin taunted.
"Aunt Mai would have a knife to my head in less than a second!" Kya shouted.
"Ugh, fine, whatever!" Lin said with disappointment as Ursa frowned as well. She was looking forward to her parents' reactions to being spontaneously drenched. "Come on, pansy-pants, you're up to give a truth or dare."
"Fine, Ursa, truth or dare?" Kya said.
"Truth, but don't ask who I like for the eighty-seventh time in a row so you can tease Lin and me for seven hours about how we have crushes on your brothers," Ursa snapped as Kya went into a little fit of laughter.
"I won't, I won't," Kya promised, "Ursa…I truth you to…hmm…I can't think of anything…"
"Tell us a story about your dad we don't know," Lin said as Kya shot her glare.
"You probably know them all, that's boring and dumb," Ursa commented as Kya feverously nodded in agreement. She'd been warned about spilling Zuko's secrets to Ursa. Aang, Katara, and Toph had told their children about their lives and legacies, and since Zuko had a large role to play, they knew his part too.
"It doesn't matter, you have to do it now, or you lose," Lin persisted.
"Kya didn't do hers," Ursa mumbled.
"That's right!" Kya shouted emphatically as Ursa gave her a nonplussed look.
"But hers would actually get her like banished or something, yours is stupid, just do it," Lin griped.
"Don't give into Lin's every whim, Ursa," Kya encouraged in fear of the wrath of her elders.
"Nah, she's right though, it is dumb, I might as well do it…if I can think of one…Come to think of it, I don't think I know one good story about Dad," Ursa said contemplatively as she scoured her mind for an interesting tale and Lin snickered.
"I can tell a few," Lin stated boldly.
"Lin." Kya gritted through her teeth and Lin whispered harshly to her friend as a rejoinder.
"Oh please, she's twelve, she deserves to know her dad saved the whole world!" Lin husked.
"I think so too, but it isn't our place to say!" Kya husked back, but typically, Lin ignored her friend's wise heedings.
"My dad…saving the world?" Ursa restated, trying not to laugh at the thought as Lin gave a sympathetic expression at her close friend's disbelief at a historically admired feat.
"Ursa, do you honestly not know about this?" Lin asked.
"Lin! Shut up! We're going to get in trouble!" Kya yelled at her younger friend as Ursa peaked an eyebrow.
"This is ridiculous, Kya! I don't care what Uncle Zuko swore our parents into! She has no idea that her father helped end a century long war! Her dad! I don't even think she knows who her real grandfather is!" Lin shouted back
"What on earth are you guys screaming about?" Ursa asked in utter confusion.
"Nothing!" Kya insisted.
"No! Stop, she needs to know, Kya! How'd you feel if your dad never told you he was the avatar who ran away from home and saved the world? Huh?" Lin yelled as Kya then found the ground with her gaze and stared downward despondently. "That's what I thought! So I'm going to finally tell Princess here her legacy, and these are only the things I know! I don't even know how Uncle Zuko could hide this stuff from her? It's famous!"
"What's famous? Hiding? My dad is hiding things fro me? What?" Ursa snapped.
"Well, Ursa, buckle up because what you hear may alarm you," Lin said as Kya slapped her forehead with her hand. "How'd your dad tell you he got that scar?"
"In a training accident…" Ursa mumbled.
"Hah! It was no accident!" Lin scoffed.
"Lin!" Kya warned once more as Lin waved her off.
"What…yes…it was…" Ursa mumbled again.
"Your grandfather was a demented, warmonger tyrant," Lin stated bluntly as Ursa's eyes narrowed in offense.
"You take that back!" Ursa yelled.
"Ugh! Iroh is not even your grandfather!" Lin yelled.
"Of course he is! Lin you're playing more tricks on me!" Ursa said in irritation. "Isn't she, Kya?"
"…" Kya remained silent, she didn't want to disobey parents, but she couldn't bring herself to feed Ursa such a blatant lie. At Kya's silence Ursa flashed an urgent expression to Lin.
"It's true. Iroh is your dad's uncle. Your grandfather was a man I'm sure you've heard of that your dad lied about called Fire Lord Ozai. He helped continue the Hundred Year War. He banished your grandmother whom you're named after. Your grandmother got banished for murdering your great-grandfather who was going to murder your father so your grandfather could assume the throne and your uncle could not have it. Your great-uncle wasn't there to take the throne because he was grieving the loss of his son, your dad's cousin," Lin explained as Ursa's heart pounded rapidly in her chest, it couldn't be true?
"What…" Ursa muttered, "N-no…why…my family…Lin, I-I don't believe…you must be lying…this is another one of your dumb games…it-it's not funny…Kya?"
"Ursa…I…" Kya sighed in silence and Ursa shook her head in denial, this was already too much to soak in at once.
"That's barely the beginning. After your grandfather ruled, your great-uncle let your dad into a war meeting room and your dad spoke out against a plan to use newly employed troops as bait because he thought it was cruel. Your dad was then punished by having to face your grandfather in an agni kai for the disrespect he showed during the Fire Lord's meeting. Your dad thought he'd face the general he yelled at, but it was his dad since it was his meeting. Your dad started to cry and beg your grandfather for forgiveness and then refused to fight his own father. Your grandfather deemed this weak and pathetic-so he branded his face." Lin explained curtly as Ursa's eyes welled with tears.
"Stop it!" Ursa cried as Kya put an arm on her shoulder, "This isn't true!"
"Lin, that's enough of your history lessons for today," Kya snapped.
"No! It's now or never she finds out! I have to finish what I started!" Lin persisted, "After your grandfather scourged your dad's face, that wasn't enough of a punishment, he banished him. He told him, he had to go capture the avatar, who at that point and time, had not been seen for a hundred years and was assumed dead. So it was a wild goose chase to get him out of his hair forever. Your great-uncle went with your dad into exile. He spent three years on the boat from the time he was thirteen to sixteen. Finally, the avatar returned and your dad caught him. Your dad spent another six months trying to capture Uncle Aang in vain."
"What? That-that doesn't even make sense…why…why did he even want Uncle Aang…I mean…Ozai…" Ursa cried.
"Because! Your family started a giant war by killing all the air nomads and trying to take over the world! The avatar was the last force who could stop them!" Lin shouted.
"My family…they killed all of Uncle Aang's people…but…that was a hundred years before…I don't-" Ursa began through confused tears.
"He was in ice a hundred years and wasn't slaughtered with the others. And, after awhile, your dad and biological aunt lied and your dad betrayed your great-uncle and they told your grandfather the avatar was dead so your dad could finally go home. Your dad realized somehow that his family was an evil case of whack-jobs and decided to go teach Uncle Aang firebending to take Ozai down. After some coaxing, they accepted him and your dad became really close with all of our parents and did all this cool stuff like free Kya's grandfather and Aunt Suki from prison, help Kya's mom face the man who killed Kya's grandmother, and taught Uncle Aang firebending. Finally, they went to face your grandfather and kill him, and Aunt Katara and your dad went to take down your aunt and she tried to kill Kya's mom with lightning bending, but your dad jumped in front and sacrificed himself, earning another scar, and Aunt Katara took her down, healed your dad, and then she had a mental breakdown and has been locked up ever since. Uncle Aang removed your grandfather's bending and he's been rotting in a prison cell ever since. Any questions?" Lin splurtted out in a crash course of what she had learned from her mother and school over the years. The look on Ursa's face was terror to say the least.
"Lin…" Ursa cried, "Please..if this is some sick joke…"
"No, it's all true, every word," Kya confessed finally as she pulled her friend into an embrace and that broke the ice for Ursa; Kya didn't lie to her. She was the older sister she never had. Ursa began to sob into Kya's shoulder and Lin offered a sympathetic hand on her shoulder.
"Why would he lie to me all these years?" Ursa choked out, "It's so horrible, everything is so horrible! The whole story is awful! My whole family! They're crazy and evil!" Ursa sobbed even harder, having trouble taking in all of this information.
"No, Ursa, they're not all bad!" Kya said, "Your dad is still a wonderful person! The world honors him like a hero! Your great-uncle, or grandpa, he's still like a grandfather to you, it doesn't matter, he's a great man too! Your grandmother was one of the bravest ladies I've ever heard of!"
"But my grandfather and all of the ones before him…and my aunt…and all the things my dad's done….And not to mention all the lies and secrets! I cannot believe he did this to me!" Ursa said as her tears grew into anger. "He lied to me! My whole life is built upon a lie! I can't believe anything he's ever said anymore! Heck, who knows if he'll burn my face too!"
"Ursa…" Lin mumbled.
"Ursa, your dad loves you, I know he does," Kya said.
"No he doesn't! Not if he lied like this!" Ursa cried in a rage as she kicked her bedstand's piller. "And my mother backed it up! And, Uncle Aang, Aunt Katara, Aunt Toph, Uncle Sokka, Aunt Suki! They all lied to me! Grandpa! They all hid my whole life from me! And, you two for so long! Bumi, Tenzin! You all lied to me! And they're far from white lies!"
"Ursa, we were told to, I'm sorry!" Kya cried.
"Ursa, come on…it's…you're still you…" Lin comforted.
"I don't know! Am I?" Ursa screamed, "I won't have it! I'm going to find out what else is a lie! Is Ursa even my first name?" Ursa yelled in a fuss as she stormed out of the room in fury to confront her father.
"Dad!" Ursa screamed in a voice she'd never risen to her father in all her life as she slammed the door of his office open, causing Zuko to jump and spill ink on his lap.
"Ursa! Don't speak to your father like that!" Zuko scolded as he wiped the ink.
"Are you even my father? How can I really know?" Ursa screamed as tears began pouring from her eyes and Zuko gave her a perplexed look.
"That's crazy, of course I am. Is Lin tricking you again?" Zuko asked.
"No! She's not the one who tricked me about my entire life!" Ursa screamed as she then fell down on her knees and began to cry. Zuko's eyes widened in shock and fear.
"Wha-what do you mean?" Zuko asked in hesitation, just then, Mai came racing down the stairs and into the room to see what all the yelling was for.
"What in the world?" Mai said as she embraced her crying daughter on the floor, but Ursa shoved her away.
"You're both liars!" Ursa cried hoarsely and Mai sighed and glared at Zuko as she zipped in a breath of tough air and snapped, as she rarely ever did.
"I told you this would happen!" Mai snapped to her husband.
"Mai," Zuko said.
"No! Don't! I told you, your uncle told you, your friends told you! This was a horrible idea, and I always knew it'd come down to this! I should've told her myself!" Mai yelled.
"Uncle! See, he's not even my grandfather!" Ursa cried, "My grandfather was a killer! So was my grandmother, my namesake!"
"Your grandmother was a good woman, Ursa," Zuko stated as he bit his lip.
"And, I'm supposed to believe you?" Ursa screamed, "Your scars, neither of them were accidents! You tried to capture Uncle Aang! They all used to hate you! You were banished! This war wasn't a thousand years ago! It ended a little more than a decade ago!"
"Ursa…" Zuko muttered as regret filled in the pit of his stomach, she was so hurt looking, she was broken looking, and she looked betrayed. Again, he betrayed someone he loved more than all the stars in the sky again he hurt someone who believed him. He was just as bad, maybe worse, than his own father. He'd irreparably hurt her. "I didn't want to hurt you, sweeite…I-I…I just wanted to protect you…I didn't want you to know all those horrible things…I…I wanted you to be more innocent than I was…I didn't want you to know the ache of war…"
"You thought I'd never find out? I'd never know about the biggest thing that ever happened in world history?" Ursa screamed. "From what I've heard about Grandfather, all of your lies have done the opposite! You-you're just as bad as him for lying to me all these years!" Zuko's face looked like you just stabbed his heart and twisted in the dagger. Those were the words of his nightmares. And, what he did next took Ursa off guard.
"I'm so sorry," Zuko muttered as he softly began to cry as he turned away in shame of his tears.
"Ursa…I know you're angry, honey…" Mai said.
"You-you lied too!" Ursa screamed.
"I know, I know, I'm sorry, I don't know what else to tell you!" Mai said as she covered her face with her hands.
"What is Dad crying for?" Ursa yelled, "I'm the only one who needs to be crying!"
"He's sorry, Ursa, he's sorry," Mai stated.
"He's sorry? Just like that! Oh, sorry, I lied about your whole life!" Ursa yelled in mockery.
"Ursa, you don't understand. I know you're rightfully incredibly angry and hurt and confused and overwhelmed, but your father did this because he was scared, he loves you and he was afraid. His life…I don't know what your friends told you, but your dad's childhood was a mess and he didn't…he…I don't even know! He didn't want to mess you up! He didn't want to be his father!" Mai cried.
"And…I did…by trying to prevent it…" Zuko muttered, "Ugh! I lied to you! I lied about everything! I didn't see an issue with this? I am worse than him! At least he didn't lie! He told the truth about how he hated me!"
"Zuko, no, you're not Ozai," Mai insisted.
"I'm not, I'm worse of a father than he was!" Zuko cried.
"Daddy…you're not that bad," Ursa sniffled and Zuko turned around in surprise, "You…you couldn't be that bad…the things Lin said he did to you…" Ursa began as she started to weep, "The awful, awful things…"
"Ursa…" Zuko started, "Baby, I'm so sorry."
"He burnt you, Daddy…Then he banished you…and-and he was going to kill you…and Azula tried to kill you…and your mom left…and…" Ursa began to cry as Zuko approached her and pulled her into an embrace and stroked her hair.
"Shhh," Zuko whispered, "It doesn't matter."
"I know you're not like him, I'm just…I'm so mad that you lied! I know you love me, Daddy, but…why did you lie!" Ursa cried.
"I'm an idiot," Zuko cried as he held her tighter.
"I married an idiot," Mai shrugged, "So what does that make me?"
"Don't lie to me anymore," Ursa cried, "Promise?"
"I swear, I'm so sorry," Zuko cried, "I promise, Ursa, I'm gonna tell you everything that happened."
"Good. Just because it was terrible…and you and our people did bad things…it-it won't make me think any less of you, Dad, you know that?" Ursa asked amongst tears and Zuko stifled a sob.
"I know, I know, I'm sorry," Zuko cried once again. Mai sighed as she herself was growing emotional and to the brink of tears. She wrapped her arms then around her husband and daughter.
"I'm sorry too, Ursa," Mai confessed.
"It's okay, Mom," Ursa cried.
"And, Zuko, I'm sorry," Mai said and Zuko opened his wet eyes in confusion.
"…You…you were abused and you were terrified of continuing the cycle and I shouldn't have went along with the lies, I should've just reassured you, I-" Mai began as Zuko tightly grasped her hand.
"No, Mai, it's all my fault, I'm sorry," Zuko admitted as he pulled her hand close and kissed the front.
"Enough of this sappy stuff…" Mai said as she blinked off her onslaught of tears, "Your friends are waiting, aren't they?" Mai said as she stood up, "How would you all like some tea?"
"Tea would be great," Ursa said as she wiped her nose and eyes.
"Go off with you," Zuko said as he ruffled her hair and gave the top of her head a peck. And, Ursa tearily smiled and went to race back to her bedroom, "Ursa!" Zuko called as she stopped and peeked her head back in the door.
"I love you," Zuko stated and she smiled.
"I love you too, Dad," Ursa said as she ran back off.
"It'll take some time, Zuko," Mai said.
"I know," Zuko said.
"It's going to be hard for her to come to terms with all of that, her whole legacy, that's dark there," Mai stated.
"I know, I lived it," Zuko sighed.
"She'll be alright though," Mai said and Zuko nodded, "After all, she's half you, so she must be tough."
"Your genes would be the ones doing that, I was too afraid to tell her for twelve years," Zuko sighed again.
"Zuko, you ended a war and took up a throne when you were seventeen, don't try to convince me you aren't tough," Mai teased, "Now, come on, you need a cup of tea yourself."
"A cup of tea sounds perfect right now, something in my life that sounds just about right."