I really didn't want to post this just yet but i'm bored!! I like to wait until I have at least 3 chapters done, but i'm only in the middle of chap 2. This wont be updated as often as Abyss for that reason. I'm in the middle of writing a book which I will get published...eventually, so my book comes first.
Summary: Harry is molested by his headmaster, along with the abuse he suffers at home, his mind can't handle all the pressure. As a way to escape, he creates his own alternate world. Unkown to him, his made up world effects the real one. Harry is admitted into a psychiatric hospital where he meets Draco. Will Draco be able to help Harry see reality, or further him from it?
Warning:This is slash so if you have any problems with that, please get to know the back button because this is your only warning. HP/Dumbledore, and eventually HP/DM
Contains: Child molestation, rape, abuse.
Disclaimer: I only own the plot, the characters are just there for my sick twisted mind.
All poems are my own unless said otherwise.
Well on with the story......
Chapter 1, Betrayal
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Porceline Mask:
I walk these halls day by day,
A mask upon my face.
No one sees the terrors and lies,
I keep pent up inside.
The smile on my face betrays,
what is seen within my eyes.
It is as if I were drowning.
Drowning in my own dispair.
Waiting for the unattainable emotion to spill out,
Anger, Fear, Hatred, Sorrow.
Emotions running high.
I hide behind a porceline mask,
that will one day fall and shatter.
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Harry lie in his cupboard under the stairs, waiting for the wake up call from his uncle. A small sigh leaves his lips as he remembers how his life took a drastic change. He remembers when he was betrayed by the one he thought he could trust most.
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The slap echoed in my ears, the stinging sensation lingered on my cheek. Tears brimmed my eyes as I knew my cheek would bruise. My head was turned to the right due to the force of the blow. My body stood tense infront of my uncle, trying not to provoke any unwanted pain.
"You will clean up this mess, then leave for school." My uncle says pointing to the spilt milk that my cousin, Dudley knocked from my hands. After my uncle left the room, I went to the sink to get a washcloth to clean the mess up. Wetting the washcloth, I got on my hands and knees to get better access to the milk. My cousin, seeing I was finished, dumped the rest of his orange juice on the gound.
"Clean it up freak." He says to me with a smirk. My uncle walked back into the room, upon seeing another mess, he grabbed me by the hair and threw me into the cupboards.
"You little fucker, you can't do anything right." He snarrled. I watch him walk towards me, lifting up one of his feet, I close my eyes. The pain from the kick washed over me as my muscles tense.
"Clean it up and get the fuck out." Slowly rising from the floor, I turned my head to look at my uncle.
"I didn't make the mess." I say, voice strained.
"I don't care, clean it up." His face was turning purple with fury. I quickly obeyed him by cleaning the mess, then left for school.
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I arrived late for class. My chemistry teacher, Mr. Snape, was not pleased. He gave me a detention for my tardiness. We quickly started on notes that we needed before we started our lab project. With notes done, we set up our area to start the lab.
Half way through class, and office aid entered the room to deliver a note to Mr. Snape. With a scowl on his face, from the interuption of class, he read the note. I noticed his eyes slowly look up at me.
"Mr. Potter, you are wanted in the headmaster's office. Collect your stuff and leave." He said with a sneer, I did as I was told.
On my walk to the office, I tried to think of reasons why I was wanted. As far as I knew, there was no reasons, except for my attendence. I knew I had been excessively tardy the last two weeks. But the headmaster had never called anyone down to his office for attendance issues.
I timidly rose my had and knocked on the headmaster's door when I had reached it. I heared a soft 'come in' as my had rested on the cool metal of the door knob. Turning it and pushing the door open I was greeted with Headmaster Dumbledore. As I walked closer to his desk, I notice that his white beared seemed to smile as he did.
"You wanted to see me Headmaster?"
"Yes, please sit down..... I have recieved several complaints about your attendance. I wanted to know why you are steadily tardy and absent." His wrinkly, boney hands where stroking his beared.
"Well I walk to school and sometimes I'm... I leave the house late. For the absents, I get sick easily." His blue eyes where fixed on me.
"May I ask where you got the bruise on your cheek from?"
"I... I ran into a door.." I quickly come up with. I see the Headmaster get up from his chair, walk around his desk, and when in reach of me, rests his hands upon my shoulder.
"Harry..." He seemed to purr my name. "You can trust me.... I'm only trying to help. Does your family... abuse you?" I turn my head way from him and lower my eyes to the floor. My silence affirmed his assumption. His hand on my shoulder tightens a little before it was removed.
"I want you to know, you can come to me for anything, ok?" I nod my head once and soom feel his hand on my shoulder once again.
"Now about your attendence, I want you to come to my office four times a week, to talk. Like I said I want to help you, but the only way I can is with your cooperation." One again I nodded. He then dismissed me to class.
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"Now Harry, How long have your relatives been abusing you?" After three weeks of my talking sessions with Dumbledore, I could finally answer the question.
"Since I can remember, but it didn't start getting physical until I was six." I avoided eye contact by keeping my head down, and I whispered, hoping he didn't hear me.
"When was the last time you where hit?"
"This morning."
"Where?"
"Mainly my torso and back."
"Can I see?" His voice seemed to deepen a little. I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. He then got up from behind his desk to inspect my bruised body.
"How old are you again?"
"13." He seemed to have a slight frown on his face. He went back to his desk and pulled out some soothing gel. He squeezed a little on his hands and rubbed them together.
"Sit forward." He says. I soon feel his cool, wet hands on my back. I thought something seemed wrong when his hands seemed to 'caress' my back.
"Harry, do you trust me?" He whispered in my ear.
"Yes." I replied, not at all sure of myself. The undertone of his voice scared me and made me second guess his motives.
His hands inched from my back, up and over my shoulders, and up to my chest. His fingers played with my nipples as I felt a lick on my shoulder. Jumping up from my seat and out of his grasp, I stared at him wide-eyed.
"Harry..." He started to walk towards me.
"Stay away from me you fucking pedophile."
"Now you shouldn't call people names... It isn't nice." His voice and his eyes hardened.
"Your not going to get away with this." I was looking for a way to get out of his office.
"Who's going to believe you? It took you three weeks to tell me you were abused. I know your relatives wont believe you if you told them. I can just make up some story about how you are mentally unstable. How you hurt yourself and try anything to get attention. I'm pretty sure my staff will back me up also." I didn't doubt he could do it. I knew everyone would believe him, from the way I act in school, they would have no problem believing him.
I drop my head to the ground and wrap my arms around my bare chest. That gesture usually gave me comfort, but not now. All I felt was lonliness and betrayal. I had believed that Dumbledore could help me. I had trusted him. He knew the one secret that I didn't want anyone to know. I let him know how to control me. Standing in that office, shirtless, with the Headmaster starring at me with lustfull eyes, was my turning point.
"Now come here." Dumbledore commanded me. I walked to him, as I were his slave. My eyes were emply and distant. Standing infront of him, I felt cold, boney hands caress my skin.
"Soon you will enjoy this, even look forward to it. This will be your escape from the world." His voice seemed to echo in my mind. Tears started to form in my eyes as his hand snaked it's way into my pants.
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I curl myself up into a ball as I await my wake up call. I feel unsafe, even in my cupboard. 'why does this have to happen to me?' I say to myself. Curling into a tighter ball, I try to think of something other than my reprobate life.
"Harry Potter." My uncle yells as I close my eyes to try to get one more moment where I control my life.
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Reprobate- Doomed to damnation.
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So thats the end of chapter 1 sorry if this seems to go fast but this is not the main focus of the story. Please review, possitive feedback inspires me, which means faster updates. I would also like to know if I should continue this or not......Thanx