Hey, all! This is a short, quickly written one shot that never made it into my Magnum Opus, "A Better Normal." If you like it, there's other different one shots where this came from. I wrote it quickly and never beta'd it, and it shows. However, I loved getting inside Darrell's head, so I had to post it. My apologies. I am well aware it's not up to my normal standards.
Reviews are welcome, and read and cherished.
Darrell's mom always said he had no goals. She didn't see though, that his goals were noble, but very unique. He liked to work towards a lot of things with determination. He liked to work towards listening to every Townes Van Zandt album. He liked eating as much as he could of his mother's baking. He had liked racing his dirt bike as fast as he could, working to beat previous records, as a kid. But these days, there was nothing that he enjoyed more than trying his best to rile his best friend. Jake was so easy to rile up, if you knew what buttons to push. The first few times Darrell had tried, it hadn't worked. He'd tried talking smack about music, about horses, about Jake's brooding nature, but he'd never gotten a single rise after all the meditated tries. As it happened, he'd stumbled on Jake's weak spot by accident one day early in the school year while he was still trying to come up with a new plan of attack.
One afternoon, Jake was giving him a ride over to Three Ponies to help out with some project or other, and they were waiting on Sam. She'd needed a ride home for some reason or another, and Jake, of course, had been roped into dropping her off. The memory made him grin, even today.
"She better hurry up." Jake said.
"Hold on, man. It's only 5 minutes after the bell rang." Darrell noted.
"Probably talking to Kenworthy." Jake mused, his tone implying everything he thought about that plausibility.
Two minutes later, during which time Jake flipped off Waylon Jennings to play some Robert Earl Keen, then shuffled to Buddy Holly, Sam came over to the truck and knocked on the passenger window. "You guys ready?"
"Wasting daylight, waiting on you, Brat." Jake stated.
"I had to get outside, Jerkface." Sam shot back.
"Well, you should have walked faster. We have a lot to do." Jake replied.
Sam rolled her eyes as she climbed into the truck, forcing Darrell to scoot over. She wasn't about ot make him get out so she could get in the back or the middle. She elbowed Darrell as she put on the seatbelt."Sorry Darrell."
"Oh, don't worry about it Darlin'" He replied off handedly, absolving her of any guilt.
Sam nodded. But Darrell didn't see it, as he happen to be looking over at the steering wheel. His friend's hands had tightened on the wheel, and he had tensed almost imperceptibly. Had Darrell not been sitting so closely, he wouldn't have noticed it.
"Interesting..." Thought Darrell. "I wonder what I can do with this." He spoke aloud, "So, tell me, Sammy Darlin, how was school?"
"Oh, fine. I got a math test back." Sam replied.
"Hm?" Jake interjected.
"She said she got a math test back, Jake." Darrell smiled. Poor Jake felt ignored. He just bet he did. Darrell shifted closer to Sam, because, well, what was life if you can't piss off your buddies and flirt with their women?
"I got an 87, too." Sam grinned.
"That's wonderful, darlin,' isn't it, Jake?"
"Guess so." Jake allowed.
Sam laughed. Darrell noticed that Jake noticed her smile in the angle of the rearview mirror.
"So, Darlin, how you planning to celebrate your luck?"
She bristled. "I'll have you know, that was pure skill! And talent."
Jake added, "And a math tutor." Darrell could have laughed at how obvious his friend was being.
Sam nodded. "That too."
"Well, honey, if you're ever looking for a more skilled...tutor, you know you can call me any time. We can ditch our mutual buddy here and have some real fun learning all about...practical geometry."
Sam burst out laughing. "You're so bad, Darrell. I bet you say that to all the girls."
"Naw, darlin. Just the nice ones. The bad ones tutor me." Darrell spoke.
Sam grinned but her reply was cut off by Jake's terse, "You're here, Brat."
She seemed unfazed. "Alright. See you later, Jake. Darrell." Getting out of the truck, she turned back to the shut door and addressed Darrell through the open window. "It's a real shame I'm taking Trig this year!" She laughed and turned quickly, going into River bend and letting the screen door slam behind her.
"I didn't know Sam could be so much fun. " Darrell mused, noting Jake's tightened jaw line. "A real spitfire, that one." With that, the telltale muscle jumped. Darrell could have cackled with the heady joy of his success. But no, he had to solider on.
"You 'bout done, then?" Jake asked.
"With what, man? I'm just saying, we could have some fun." Darrell replied. They really could, too, if she wasn't a clear violation of the bro code.
"I know how you define fun. Sam's not one to play games with. You leave her be." Jake advised.
"You telling me what to do?" Darrell's reply was honest. Just because he was trying to rile Jake, didn't give the guy the right to tell him what to do. Still, he kept his mission in mind. Bait him, but do not get bitten.
"Naw. I'm telling you it won't end well." Jake replied.
"Seems like you are. You're not dating her, man. She's single, and I'm single. So step off." Darrell loved watching the fury build in his friend's face. He was an adrenaline junkie, and seeing over six feet of barely controlled testosterone raised it like only a good roller coaster might.
"She's not your darlin' Darrell." Jake bit off.
"Naw, I know." He seriously replied, pausing only a moment before he added, "But it sure as hell seems like she's somebody's Brat, don't it?" Darrell said softly, diffusing Jake's anger. Darrell knew there was no reply for that.
Jake just raised his eyebrows. "Fuck off, man."
After that day, Darrell took every chance he could to call Sam darling. She seemed to know it was harmless flirtation, as he knew she wasn't the type to be so forward with a guy who would act on the witty replies she often volleyed. He knew that for a fact, after looking at her relationship with Jake. They were teetering on the edge of either a really sappy love story or a short but passionate fling. Darrell knew, though, in his heart of hearts, that they were on the slow track to the former. Therefore, it was his duty as Jake's friend to speed things along if only to have bragging rights about his matchmaking skills later.
After six months of pointedly calling Sam his darling in front of the whole world, things came to a head. Kenworthy pulled him aside and said, "Look, what is with you? You've got to know she's not into you!"
"Why, Jenny, you jealous, honey?" Darrell preened. He loved, loved to make the blonde blush. Her pale skin did it so well.
"My name is not Jenny!" She lowered her voice, mindful of the setting in the hallway, and whispered furiously. "You know she and Jake are on the precipice of something, as sick as it makes me. Stop getting in the way so they can date for a few weeks and get over it." Jen instructed.
"Jen, Jen." He tisked. "Just when I thought you were the girl of my dreams." He sighed. "This ain't no fling, honey. He's got see what he's got and work for it."
"And just what it do you think he's going to be getting?" She was infuriated.
"Eternal marital bliss or decades of alimony payments?" He gasped. "Tell me you weren't thinking of sex, Jenny? For shame." He clucked, and leaned into her space slightly, "Didn't your mama ever tell you nice girls don't do that?"
She shrieked softly and stalked away. "I'll see you at the bonfire, won't I, Jenny? Save a marshmallow for me, please, dollface?" He called down the hallway after her. He hoped his plan to get them alone for a moment would work.
If it didn't work, he always had plan B, but he didn't think locking them in a closet or getting them drunk was the best idea, but a man had to do what he had to do in service of his buddies. If Jake could get out of the friendzone, it would be a triumph for men everywhere. Plan B was aways an option, he amended, once he decided exactly what it was. Yes, indeed. Life was swell. Once he'd done his duty and got Sam and Jake all settled he could move on to riling up the blonde.
It was great to have goals.