Interview with Patient J
Recorded on April 1st
So, there was this clown…and there was this bat…hehehe-sorry, just thinking about it cracks me up. It's just a funny, endless joke that keeps on going! A little…running-gag I suppose. That's why I love my life, doc – it's just a big JOKE
So on to that the joke! There was this clown...and this bat...GET IT? A CLOWN…A BAT! It's just hysterical! A real gut-buster! A bat…a clown…fighting-hehehe. Oh well, I guess you have to be down that certain road to understand. You understand, don't you? Ya got to! You're in this loony bin as well, tryna understand ME, and those other losers who don't matter…
But think about it, Doc. If you did understand me, got into my mind, that just makes you just as nuts as I am. You understand that, don't you, Doc? In fact, we're all a bit…crazy. Like I always say…it just takes one bad day-a single day to really push you to the limits. Sure, you can deny it…but trust me, I know this stuff – from experience.
Do you know how it feels to be in a boiling, fuming vat of toxic filled chemicals? That hissing liquid just stabbing at your skin – like a million little scorpions poking at you. No…you don't? Do you want to? HA – just joking, Doc. Heh, should've seen the look on your face! But I ain't joking about that pain though. I literally felt my skin losing its pigment, until I got this oh-so wonderful tone I have, hehe.
And that's how I slowly became the dashing clown you see before you. And guess what, Doc? It's a permanent change. It makes me laugh to see you silly, little doctors trying to cure the crazy. You think it's possible? It's not! You can't change something that everyone already has! It's like…trying to turn a cat into a dog. It's not possible. Once you exit out of sanity, you're done for. There's a whole new world out there, and I know YOU'VE seen it…
Remember that time…you saw the light in your mommy's eyes just…vanish? Driving to your sister's house…and she just stopped talking…. I bet you thought she was asleep at first, didn't you? You just cried and cried, yelling her name – but she wouldn't wake up, huh? You couldn't help that poor woman...isn't that why you're a psychiatrist…too help people, right? A better chance at actually helping someone…before it's too late. Hehe…pathetic. I bet you're just dying to know how I know all of this. If I told you though…it would ruin the fun of the joke.
Y'know…everyone just is a joke. Especially you, Doc. And wanna know what's extremely funny about you…? You just hide it all. Everyone does. It cracks me up! HAHA! Which is one of the reasons why I'm always smiling! Because I'm just laughing at all you pathetic little worms…
You might as well let it out. You're the nuthouse…no one will judge you…well, except the jerks who are afraid of the crazies, which is why they lock us up in here. You should join in on the laughs though, Doc. It's so much easier! You don't need to be stuck in the past, crying, and suffering. You can just laugh and walk away! You know I'll never be fixed…so why waste your time? What you're doing is more insane than me, HA! We're all just NUTS! SO LAUGH ALONG!
Ya don't gotta be like Bats, y'know. He hides it like everyone else…but at least he sort of flaunts his mad side with that silly batsuit of his, but it also shows he has a secret…a dark one…his bad day…
Me and that loony bat could've been real pals. I always try to help him, show him what he's missing out…but…alas…denial is a cruel thing. Oh! The alarm! Looks like Harley is calling for me! Well, I had a good time, Doc…but all shows have to end. See you around…