Unfaithful
Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
A dark pain nibbles at my heart as my hands move down her skin. I want her to feel loved. She's my only one; there is no one else in the world that makes me feel the way I feel when I'm with her; when she is around no one else exists. It's me and her forever.
Those are the things I need to make her believe.
She needs to believe she is my only one; believe there is no one else in the world that makes me feel the way she makes me feel; believe that when I'm with her no one else exists. Because if she doesn't believe this, I might have a funeral on my hands . . . .
I do love her, some. It's not like I can't stand her. She's beautiful and strong and always manages to keep her pig tails perfectly symmetrical. But ever since the death of her side-kick, Soul, she hasn't been the same. She's not strong anymore. She pretends to be the same. She works hard every day to try to make everything ok. But even two years after Soul's death she can't go back to the way she was. His death left a long bleeding scar in her heart that I cannot fix.
The group has fallen apart. I am the only one she really talks to anymore. I can't leave her. She's too fragile. But I need to leave. I need to leave her soon. Because Maka knows something I don't want her to know.
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
She really loves my company.
I set Maka down on our bed, pulling off her jacket and shirt. My dirty hands slid down her skin as our lips met again. This feels so wrong, my lips taking over hers, my hands massaging her almost symmetrical breasts having her moan softly into my mouth. I broke, not for air, but because I couldn't take the feeling of her tongue vibrating against mine.
I retreated to Maka's neck, softly caressing her skin with my tainted lips. She wrapped her legs around my waist and tangled her fingers into my hair, pulling me closer, needing to feel any kind of warms. And I let her. I shouldn't let her.
Her touch doesn't make my skin doesn't heat anymore. The sounds that she makes don't fill me with the need to pull off our clothes and press her tightly against my bare skin. She deserves better than me.
He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that this girl is blue
My undeserving hands reached for the button of her jean and slowly started sliding them down but her words quickly stopped me.
"Kid . . ." Maka whimpered breathlessly. I pulled my head up only enough to look her in the eye. She shook her head, "Not now . . . please . . . Not twice in one day . . ."
I nodded to her, a deep sadness growing over my body. She's right. I had already placed her in this position not two hours before. Giving the circumstances I should be thrusting myself into her embrace at all, but if it makes her feel good . . . my guilt drives me to want to force myself on her as much as I can without raping her. I pulled her into another deep kiss, letting her fight with my tongue.
"Besides . . ." Maka whispered between kisses, her voice full of angst, "You have to go . . ."
"I do?" I broke away and looked up at the clock, pretending I haven't been counting the seconds. It was already 9:36 in the morning and if I wanted to leave by 10 I had to pull myself off her and get dressed.
The clouds rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to her I just can't be true
I sighed and stood from the bed. My eyes met hers directly hoping she could read the deep sorrow on my face "I'm sorry I have to leave . . ."
Maka sat up refusing to meet my gaze, "It's not your fault if Liz and Patty want you to spent time with them today. You have been neglecting them again."
The room thick with awkward awareness, I walked over to the mirror as I put my clothing on, "I only neglect them because I want to spend time with you"
A sigh was all I got in response. I messed with my outfit, making sure each side was perfectly symmetrical before running a brush threw my hair over and over again.
I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another day
I walked over to her and leaned down to press my lips to hers. Maka turned her head away from me, stopping me in my tracks. A long silence formed between us, my heart throbbing in pain with every second I wasn't kissing her good-bye. She sighed and turned by lightly tapping her lips on my cheek, "Will you be a while?"
A kiss upon my cheek
As she reluctantly
Asks if I'm going to be home late
I say
I smiled and shook my head, "I won't be long. I'm just hanging with the girls"
A lie I didn't have to tell
Maka smiled a sad smile, "Good. I'm making something special for dinner."
I made my way to the door, "Mm I love our anniversary dinners. What does a four year anniversary get besides good morning sex?"
She blushed and playfully through a pillow in my direction, "Kid don't talk like that."
"Like what?"
"Don't say sex. Say, make love. It's more romantic"
Because we both know where I'm about to go
"Ok. What does a four year anniversary get besides good morning love making?"
She nodded, "Better. And Abalone."
"Oh fancy" I walked out the door and called, "I love you." Before shutting it.
And we know it very well . . . .
I let out a heavy sigh stuffing my hands in my pockets. I'm such a terrible being. Doing this is bad enough, but planning to go to him today, unknowing that today is the anniversary of when Maka and I started dating is even worse . . . . I would say that I deserve to get hit by a car but if I die that's just more pain for Maka . . . .
And I know that she knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills her inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy . . .
I can see her dying.
I cried as I walked down the street, and at his doorstep, before letting myself into his apartment. He was sitting in a ball in the corner of his empty, white living room. In a cute, shy little ball of hot flesh and a heart that is constantly pounding rapidly.
His eyes glanced up at me, his pale blue eyes meeting mine only for a wisp of a moment before dropping down to the floor. I smiled warmly, pretending the way he nervously played with his fingers didn't turn me on, ". . . . Hi Crona . . ."
Hey guys. Sorry I'm not writing that much lately. Lots of crazy personal stuff that ended(at least I hope it's all over)with me moving so I haven't had time to write.
I don't know if i should keep going with this one or just leave it at that. What do you think? Is it good enough to continue?