A/N~ I own nothing to do with Twilight the series or the movie. I do love the characters though....

Leave me some love, in the way of reviews if you read this story...I want to know if it is worth exploring my daydream further...

Broken

Chapter One~ Waking Up

BPOV

I always imagined my life playing out like a fairytale

Like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, I would find my prince; we'd marry and then live happily ever after.

Never did I imagine, that I would be caught up in a very different mythical world; a world of monsters and magic; a world of vampires and werewolves.

My life was anything but simple.

Unlike the fairytale princesses, I had been forced to accept truths, that were seemingly impossible. I had fallen in love with a vampire, and I had given up all my dreams and fairytale endings in the same day.

No matter how I tried to make everything work out, nothing had.

Edward, my first true love had left me. Discarded me and all my affections, like I had meant nothing. He had told me that he didn't want me; shattering my hopes of any sort of a happily ever after.

I had tried to move on after Edward and his family left; honestly, I tried. I threw every part I had left of my tattered heart into moving on and surviving.

After months of feeling completely numb, I slowly started to feel again. I slowly started to breathe again.

I was never quite the same, but I was at least functional.

Edward had promised, when he said goodbye, that I would forget…that I would move on; he obviously didn't know me as well as he thought he did. Moving on and forgetting were not part of my character.

Regardless, I threw myself into the art of surviving.

I had to try at least or I would surely wither and die. I would be the only thing in Forks that didn't thrive in the rain.

Years passed, and my pain started to dull.

I began college.

I started dating again.

I spent time with my friends.

Eventually, I found myself falling into the arms of, and in love with, my best friend Jacob , who just happened to be a werewolf and the mortal enemy of vampires.

The irony did not escape me.

Jake had been there for me, BE (Before Edward); and he was there to pick up the pieces of me that were left behind AE (after Edward).

Jake was always trying to lift my spirits and to make me smile.

He was my sunshine on a dreary day.

He was my best friend.

To me, Jake was nothing more though, and no matter how I wished I could love him---I could feel nothing beyond friendship.

Somewhere along the way though, I had let myself be convinced that I did in fact love Jake.

I had erred when I told him that I felt that way.

I knew too well how he felt. I knew how deeply he loved me.

Taking advantage of Jake's feelings was unforgivable.

Five years on and I still felt like a cad.

I had married Jake and promised to love him above all others…what a farce when I already loved another more than him.

We both knew it.

We both refused to speak his name or to mention the years that he had existed in our lives.

I tried my best to make things work with Jake.

We both deserved awards---given how hard we tried to make things work.

We even tried to have kids.

By some strange twist of fate I was unable to have Jake's child.

Lord knows we tried…more than the average couple. Three years on, and as many miscarriages later, and both Jake and I were miserable.

I knew I needed to cut him free. I needed to let him find the love, and family that he deserved; the family and love that I could never give him.

Lying in our bedroom; the air thick with humidity and unspoken words; I turned towards him, unable to hold back what I was feeling any longer.

"Jake. Are you still awake?" I asked quietly, my hand resting on his hot shoulder.

"Yeah Bells" he whispered, "What's up? What's on your mind?"

How well Jake could read me and my moods! Often he knew me better than I knew myself….

"Jake. I'm sorry…I can't...I can't do this anymore" I said quietly.

He sighed, as if he had been expecting the words I spoke. "I know Bells. I know." He said with a note of understanding in his voice.

Dammit! I wanted him to be angry, to curse at me, to call me names. Why couldn't Jacob Black ever be mad at me? I deserved his wrath.

"Jake…I'm s, s…sorry" I blubbered, tears spilling down my cheeks.

Suddenly I felt two strong arms envelop me and Jake's warm breath on my face as he reassured me. "Bells, don't apologize. I knew what I was doing when I fell in love with you. I knew what I was doing when I proposed. I knew what I was doing when I married you", he sighed then, "We were never meant to be Bella. I know that now. No matter how hard I loved you---no matter how hard I tried, we were never meant to be.

Jake released me from his embrace and rolled over and sitting up in bed, rubbed his hands through his hair. His face was pinched and pained in the moonlight that shone through our bedroom window.

I wanted to die for causing him so much pain.

This gorgeous, caring man beside me was hurting and it was all, my fault. I was the one who couldn't move on. I was the one who still held a torch for her first love. I was the one that gave this marriage the go ahead, and also gave it the kiss of death.

I hated myself for what I had done to Jake.

I did love him…in a way.

I just didn't love him enough.

I was too broken to love him the way he deserved.

I had hoped for years that Jake's love could glue me back together; but it had never been enough.

When Edward had left me in the forest, he had damaged me beyond repair. I could never love another like I loved him. I could never forget his cool touch or the odd warmth it bought to my skin.

Edward Cullen had broken my heart and my spirit; and without him, I could never be whole again…..

Check out my other story on here, Finding Home...

.net/s/5143099/1/Finding_Home