Disclaimer: I do not own SSBM or Macbeth. Both belong to people whom chances are you'll never meet in your life. One more so then the other.
The Tragedy of Macbeth
ACT I: The True Tragedy Begins
"Children! Children!" Master Hand called as he floated into the Smasher's livingroom. It was Saturday night, so everyone had decided to watch cartoons together. It's their way of bonding.
"What is it?" Mario asked, turning towards the hand as he entered the room. "Did something happen?"
"Nope." He said, his voice filled with glee. "But I noticed something on the calendar."
Nana looked at him puzzled. "Huh? What is it?"
"Tomorrow is the cultural arts festival for the city!" After a moment of puzzled stares, the hand decided to elaborate. "It's a festival. For the arts. Like music, plays and paintings. And we've been asked to preform at it!"
"Oh, do you want my band to play there?" Falco asked, happily.
Master Hand shook himself in a way that would say 'no way'. "I'm sorry, Falco, but 'Falco and the Foxettes' will have to play another time. We're going to preform a play!"
Most of the smashers moaned. Except Marth and Peach, who both loved being the stars of the show. "Oh, good!" Marth exclaimed cheerfully. "A play! How I love being in them."
"So do I." Peach added. "When the spotlight hits me and the band plays me into my solo... Ahh, the best feeling in the world. It's just like everything else disappears and all eyes fall upon me." She giggled. "Then again, everyone's eyes are on me anyway."
"What play did you choose?" Marth asked.
"The Tragedy of Macbeth."
Ness stared in confusion. "Umm, did Ronald McDonald really have a play?."
"It's 'Macbeth' idiot." Ganondorf said, rolling his eyes.
"Oh... well I never heard of it."
Luigi shook his head. "Neither have I."
Pichu looked up towards the ceiling, deep in thought. "I think one of the characters on Gargoyles was named Macbeth."
Marth gasped in shock. "How on earth could you never had heard of Macbeth?"
"What is it?" Roy asked.
"Only one of the greatest plays ever to be written!" Marth explained. The lights in Marth's mind dimmed and when the spotlight hit him, he slowly began a dramatic overview of the play. "It's the story of a man named Macbeth who began as a noble warrior. However, through the cunning of his wife, and the prophecy of three witches, he murders the king. From there, Macbeth spirals out of control, killing one person after another, trying to keep his position as King and keeping the rest of the witches prophecies from coming true. In the end, though, he is killed and his rain of terror ends. It's a lovely play that shows how greed and lust for power will lead any man into ruin, even one as noble as Macbeth."
The Smashers took a while to let it sink in. "Sounds boring." Bowser said, turning back to the TV.
"Yeah..." Popo agreed. "Do we really have to be part of it?"
"YES YOU DO!" Master Hand exclaimed. "I've already got your parts made up for you.
Link raised an eyebrow. "What, no auditions?"
"No. If I held auditions I doubt half of you would try out anyway. Now..." He snapped his fingers and Crazy came into the room, carrying scripts. "Here are your scripts. Learn it well."
"I'm... A WITCH!?!" Zelda said, skimming through the play.
"Yey, yey!" Peach said, jumping up and down in excitement. "I'm Lady Macbeth! That's the main female character!"
"What the hell kind of name is Angus?" Falco hissed after looking at his part.
Captain Falcon smiled as he saw his part. "Yes! I'm a king! Whoo!"
Master Hand was pleased to see some of the smashers reactions. "Hmm, maybe it won't be as bad as I thought it would be after all."
"Um... Master Hand." Master Hand turned to see Marth holding his script. "I think there was some mistake. I'm... Banquo?"
"Yes. There is no mistake. I thought that character would be best suited for your acting abilities."
Marth looked as if his world had just come crashing in around him. "But... But shouldn't I be... Macbeth?"
"Sorry but I gave the part of Macbeth to someone who I thought would play it a little better."
"Who on earth could play it better then me?"
"So, Macbeth is the main character, right?" Roy asked Peach as he looked over his script.
She nodded. "Yup! You're my husband! Hurray!"
"Cool!"
Ness was shocked after looking through the play. "Five acts? Wow isn't that a bit... much?" He asked.
"Ah, well the acts aren't that long." Master Hand explained. "If you don't show up at the play, I'm going to have to hunt you guys down. Got it?" They nodded, reading through the rest of the scripts. "So yeah... have it all memorized by tomorrow." Before he could let that sink in, he quickly floated out of the room. It didn't take long for them to realize what just happened.
"FIVE ACTS IN ONE DAY!?!?!" They pretty much screamed in unison, giving chase after the floating hand.
The Next Happy Day
The cultural festival was in full swing. It was being held near the towns play house, and it took up the entire street. Food, art, music, you name it and it was there. If it was an art that is. But this isn't where we want to be. Let's travel inside the theater, shall we?
Backstage, all twenty five of the Smashers gathered. Along with them were a few... other characters, whom they picked up off the street in order to preform the extra parts. Since Master Hand had only given them a day to study the script, most of the Smashers were busy... doing some last minute cramming.
"How the hell am I suppose to pronounce this stuff?" Mario asked looking at the script.
"So, in all of our lines, we rhyme or something?" Jigglypuff asked the other two witches, Samus and Zelda. "I can't rhyme to save my life... and there is no way I can remember these lines."
"MAKE UP! MAKE UP!" Marth hollered as he made his way through the mass of stage hands and performers. "WHERE IS MY MAKE UP!?! BANQUO WILL NOT GO ON WITHOUT HIS MAKE UP!"
Roy was busy looking over the script, sweating as he read each line. "What's wrong Roy?" Yoshi asked as he was fitted into his costume. "Is your part really that hard?"
He nodded. "Yeah..." He gulped and put the script down as they brought him his costume.
"Witches, we need the witches on standby." Said some wireframe as the act on stage was finishing up. "Witches!"
"People, People, can I have your attention!" Master Hand said, floating above the crowd. All eyes turned him and he spoke, "I know this has been a hard past... day for all of you. But we have been practicing all of yesterday for this moment. So go out there no bodies, and come back STARS!"
The glares towards the hand in that room could cut through space and time.
"Witches, to your places!" A wireframe said as Zelda, Jigglypuff and Samus rushed out onto the stage. "We're on in five... four... three... two..."
"Hello and welcome to The Super Smash Brothers performance of Macbeth!" Crazy Hand spoke over the microphone. "Please sit back, relax, and enjoy the tragedy!"
ACT I
SCENE I
The curtain pulled back and there, standing dressed in black robes were Zelda, Samus and Jigglypuff. Cheap thunder boomed in the background. "When shall we meet again?" Zelda asked. "In thunder, lightning or rain?"
"Uh, well..." Samus tried to remember her line. "You pick the spot, If I do, it will drive us insane."
They turned to Jigglypuff, whom replied. "You guys really are rhyming every line? Boy, this is gonna be a pain."
"Ugh, just say the line and don't start to bitch." Samus whispered.
"I'm not a bitch! I'm a witch." Jigglypuff retorted, folding her arms and looking away.
"If you two don't stop, I'm gonna smack you both with a fish!" Zelda hissed.
"A fish? A trout?" Jigglypuff inquired.
"Hit me with a trout and I'll crave you eyes out!" Samus said.
"If you crave my eyes out, then I'll–" Before Zelda could finish, Samus cut her off.
"Without your eyes, you can't pout."
Zelda glared. "Damn it, no, I was gonna say shout!"
"Girls, please, lets just get back to the scene." Jigglypuff said calmly. "Let's stop annoying each other and being so mean."
Zelda sighed. "Now I forgot what we're suppose to do."
There was a pause, none of the witches knowing what to say next. So Jigglypuff took it upon herself to continue the rhyme. "Zelda, you smell like poo."
"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE PLAY?!" She screamed, picking up the puffball and trying to strangle her.
Samus smirked under her mask. "Who cares, it made my day."
"Girls! Come on! We might get in trouble!" Jigglypuff said while being strangled. "Let's just finish this damn scene on the double!"
And so the three of them began to speak in unison, Zelda and Samus glaring at each other which Jigglypuff was having her neck wrung, "Fair is foul and foul is fair. Hover through the fog and filthy air." And with that, the three left the stage.
SCENE II
Captain Falcon, dressed as a king, Mario and Mr. Game & Watch dressed as princes, and Yoshi as a nobleman entered the stage where Dr. Mario was treating a bloody Pit.
"Okay... So, who is this again?" Captain Falcon asked, pointing to the bleeding angel.
"This is a Sergeant." Mario answered. "He fought bravely in the battle. But... I guess brave doesn't mean hes' invincible, does it?"
"My lord," Spoke Pit. "Doubtful it stood; As two spent swimmers, that do cling together and choke their art. The merciless Macdonwald– Worthy to be a rebel, for to that the multiplying villainies of nature,"
"Woah, woah, slow down man." Captain Falcon said. "What?"
Pit rolled his eyes and then continued, "Do swarm upon him--from the western isles Of kerns and gallowglasses is supplied; And fortune, on his damned quarrel smiling, Show'd like a rebel's whore: but all's too weak: For brave Macbeth--well he deserves that name-- Disdaining fortune, with his brandish'd steel, Which smoked with bloody execution, Like valour's minion carved out his passage Till he faced the slave; Which ne'er shook hands, nor bade farewell to him, Till he unseam'd him from the nave to the chaps, And fix'd his head upon our battlements."
All of the Smashers on stage stood, confused. "Could you sum it up in one sentence?" Yoshi asked.
He sighed. "If it wasn't for Macbeth, we'd all be dead."
"OH VALIANT COUSIN! OH WORTHY GENTLEMAN!" Captain Falcon exclaimed over dramatically.
"As whence the sun-"
"Bsst, hint, um..." Mr. Game & Watch whispered to Pit. "Just skip the pretty talk and stuff, kay?"
"Macbeth and Banquo pretty much destroyed the other army." Pit announced. "But just before they could help win, the Norwegian Army surprised attacked him. And the battle began once over again..." He winced in pain as the wounds began to catch up with him.
"And then?" Captain Falcon asked, enjoying the story. "Did we win? Cause you know, I need to know this kind of thing as king and all..."
"I don't remember. But trust me, Macbeth and Banquo... they owned the other army. Pretty damn bad." Before he could finish his story, his wounds became too painful and he began to become faint.
"Take him away and get him some doctors!" The King announced.
Pit limbed off like a wounded puppy with Dr. Mario as Luigi walked onto the set.
"WHO GOES?!" Captain Falcon shouted.
"Luigi goes, Falcon... Uh... Ross, right?" Mario asked.
Luigi shrugged as Mr. Game & Watch continued, "What's up? You seem troubled."
"Uh..." Luigi looked on his palm, where a bunch of words were scribbled down. "God save the king."
"Indeed." Falcon agreed with a nod.
Luigi began to read over the tiny font written on his glove. "From Fife, great king... where the Norweyan banners flout across the sky. And... is that an F? Um... Screw it." He looked up to Captain Falcon and shrugged. "I think the Thane of Cawdor did something bad. But my guess is he's gone now. He might have been the one to stage this war, I'm not sure. We may have won that battle, though."
"GREAT HAPPINESS!" Shouted the King, thrusting his fist into the air in a cheer.
"So... what are we gonna do about the open spot for Thane?"
Captain Falcon paused and thought for a second. "Well, Pit did say some kick-ass things about Macbeth, huh?"
"He did." Agreed Mario.
"Alright then! Ross, go tell Macbeth he'll be the new Thane of Condors!"
"...Cawdor." Corrected Yoshi.
"WHATEVER!"
Luigi nodded and the five of them left the stage as the curtain closed.
SCENE III
The same cheap thunder boomed in the background as Zelda, Jigglypuff and Samus walked on stage in their black robes. "Where have you been, sister?" Zelda asked, glaring over at Samus.
"Killing swine."
Zelda gasped and took a step back. "YOU'RE A MONSTER! KILLING INNOCENT PIGS!"
"Well... atleast they weren't... figs?" Jigglypuff suggested with a grin.
"We're not rhyming anymore, this is personal." Zelda stomped across the stage and stick a finger in Samus's... well, mask. "Now listen here, Sammy, I'll have you know that I am a pig's rights activist."
"Really..." Samus replied dully.
"Yes. And just this other day-" She was about to explain her heroics of pig-saving when she noticed the crowd and Master Hand all staring at the stage. "...this... uh, sailors wife... was eating bacon. And I said, 'Don't no one be eating bacon while I'm here.' And she was all like, 'No'... so I turned her into... a rat." She nodded in agreement with her statement. "Yes. I used my supernatural powers and turned her into a rat."
Samus couldn't help but giggle. "Good job. Now there are two Zelda's in this world."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
Jigglypuff bounced across the stage and whispered to the stage crew. "Cue the drums, this could get ugly."
DRUMS!
CHEAP THUNDER!
The three witches turned and gasped in horror.
"A drum! A drum!" Jigglypuff quickly called. "The fangirls fantasies doth comes!" She walked over to the Zelda and Samus and took their hands. "C'mon, we need to join hands. It'll be a good exercise to remove all that negative energy."
Zelda and Samus were glaring at each other as they held hands and began to chant in an angry tone:
"The Weird Sisters, hand in hand... wait is that really our name?"
"YESSS!" Hissed Master Hand from off-staged. "Why do you think I picked you for the part? You three fit the name perfectly! NOW KEEP GOING!"
"...Posters of the sea and land Thus do go about, about: Thrice to thine and thrice to mine And thrice again, to make up nine..."
Zelda and Samus's speech trailed off into muttering as Jigglypuff finished up. "Peace! The charms wound up!" The dropped hands and Jigglypuff smiled. "See? Wasn't that fun?"
Just then entered the two stares of the play, in all their costume glory, Marth and Roy entered onto the stage causing the entire audience (mostly the female population) to erupt in cheers and cries of joy. Roy smiled and waved to the crowd, annoying his cast mate. "Roy! You're not suppose to pay attention to the crowd, no matter how distracting they are!" Marth whispered.
"Why?"
"It's rule number two of the theater, right behind never allowing red heads to get the main role of a play unless its Annie!"
Roy raised an eyebrow. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that was an attack on me..."
"SAY YOUR LINE!"
"Oh right!" Roy cleared his throat and took a few steps towards the witches. "Um... nice day, isn't it? Not so fair, yet not so foul."
"That's not your line!" Marth shouted to Roy. "Ugh, you'd think that Master Hand was putting on Cats with a cast like this." He sighed and began to speak. "How far is't call'd to Forres?"
"Whats a Forres?" Asked the redhaired Macbeth.
"...Where we are going." Marth saw the three girls and gasped. "What are these, So wither'd and so wild in their attire, That look not like the inhabitants o' the earth, And yet are on't? Live you? Or are you aught that man may question? You seem to understand me, by each at once her chappy finger laying upon her skinny lips: You should be women, And yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so."
The three girls continued to stared lost at Marth. "...Girls... I think he just called us old men." Whispered Samus.
"YOU'RE GOING DOWN, TIARA BOY!" Shouted Zelda as she and her witch-homies took out their weapons; a mounted arm canon, a magic marker and, well nothing and began to chase the blue haired Banquo around the stage.
Roy, watching the special, took this chance to open the script and glance through the pages. "...Hey, wait, this isn't in the script." He watch helplessly as Marth began to be beaten senseless by the girls.
"Oh, thats righ! We're doing a play!" Zelda remembered they were being watched and she quickly jumped off the body of Marth. "All hail, Macbeth! Hail to thee, Thane of Glamis!"
After making sure that Marth would never make that mistake again, Samus removed her arm canon from... somewhere she had stuck it in Marth and jumped to her feet. "All hail, Macbeth! Hail to thee, Thane of Cawdor!"
Jigglypuff was the only one who didn't get off Marth's body, only turning to face Roy while sitting on the bruised mans' head. "All hail, Macbeth! Thou shalt be king hereafter!"
"Really?! Thats hot."
Marth weakly managed to pull himself to his feet and looked over at the witches. "Good sir, why do you start; and seem to fear things that do sound so fair? I' the name of truth, are ye fantastical, or that indeed which outwardly ye show? My noble partner you greet with present grace and great prediction of noble having and of royal hope, that he seems rapt withal: to me you speak not. If you can look into the seeds of time, and say which grain will grow and which will not, speak then to me, who neither beg nor fear your favours nor your hate."
The three witches glared at Marth. "You better have not just called us men again..." Zelda muttered, preparing a Din's Fire in her left hand.
"Grr, no! Ugh... why am I surrounded by such illiterate savages?"
"Well maybe if you didn't use such confusing words..." Roy suggested.
Marth sighed. "Okay, I'll dumb it down for you." He quickly pointed a finger at Roy and screamed, "WHY DOES MOP-HEAD THERE GET A COOL INTRO AND NOT ME!"
Zelda rolled her eyes and walked over to Marth. "Geez, no need to be a baby about it. Ahem... Hail!"
"Hail!"
"Hail!"
"Hail!" The three witches turned to Roy. "...I thought it was the cool thing to do..."
Zelda wrapped her arm around Marth's shoulders. "Lesser then Macbeth, but greater."
Samus jumped up behind the swordsman. "Not so happy, but much happier."
Jigglypuff still sat ontop of Marth's head. "Thou shalt get kings, though thou be none. So hail! Macbeth and Banquo!"
"Well, thats all well and good. But could you guys maybe explain it a bit more?" Roy asked stepping towards the group. But before they could answer, the witches exploded in a poof of smoke. "Drat. That always happens to women around me."
Marth brushed some of the dust off his armor and walked over to Roy. "The earth hath bubbles, as the water does, and these are them. Whither are they vanish'd?"
Roy stared blankly at Marth for a bit. "...Where did they go?" Marth nodded slowly. "Into the air, or into the wind? Who knows. All I know is that they're not here now."
"Were such things here as we do speak about? Or have we eaten on the insane root that takes the reason prisoner?"
"I don't have to do drugs to be cool, Marth." Roy muttered giving Marth a strange glance. Marth slapped his forehead, cuing to Roy that it was a line from the play. "OH! Uh... well, no I don't think so. But what they said, that was weird. I mean... I'm going to be King someday! Haha!" The glare from Marth quickly made the red head glance through his pocket-sized scripted. "Your children shall be kings."
"You shall be king."
"I know, I just said that..."
The two stood quietly on the stage, Marth waiting for Roy to say his next line. About thirty seconds of silence cued for Falco and Luigi to enter. "Who here?" Marth shouted as he spun around to meet eyes with the two.
"Just Ross... and Angus." Falco muttered, crossing his arms in angry.
"Hehe... Angus. Isn't that beef or something?" Roy giggled. After being shot in the head a few times by Falco's blaster, Macbeth asked; "So, what brings you two out here?"
Luigi stepped up. "Well, I'm not too sure. But I think that the King is pretty darn happy about what you and Banquo did in that battle."
"Yeah. We came all the way from... where ever we live just to tell you thank you."
Luigi nodded. "Yup. Oh, and... I think you're the Thane of Cawdor now. Or Condors. You're going to have to bring that up with the King. He seems to get the two confused often."
Marth rolled his eyes and spoke his line, "What, can the devil speak true?"
"Isn't the Thane of Cawdor still alive?" Inquired Roy. "Y'know, the whole reason we were fighting this war in the first place seemed to be his fault, right?"
Luigi shrugged and Falco quickly muttered an "I don't know." Marth nearly killed himself right there.
"Oh wait, I remember now!" Luigi quickly blurted out. "We caught the Thane of Cawdor and he's on trial for treason. I suppose that he's not going to survive. Or am I just making that up?" The plumber pondered his thoughts for a moment. "...Regardless, you're the Thane of Cawdor now. Hurrah." He dully threw a bit of confetti over Roy's head as Falco get three weak claps.
"Wow, really? Thanks!" Roy quickly leaned over and pulled Marth aside. "Marth, isn't this weird? It's just like Zelda and the girls said it would happen! Maybe that means that I'll be a king, and your kids will be kings! It's like someone planned this whole thing out to happen this way!"
"...You're kidding me, right?" The innocent look on Roy's face said other wise. Marth sighed and continued with his work, "That trusted home might yet enkindle you unto the crown, besides the Thane of Cawdor. But 'tis strange: and oftentimes, to win us to our harm, the instruments of darkness tell us truths, win us with honest trifles, to betray's in deepest consequence. Cousins, a word, I pray you."
Roy stared blanky into Marth's face, then took a few steps towards the edge of the stage. "I still have no idea what he's saying. But man, I never knew that Zelda could predict the future! I mean, I knew she could make her own fireworks, but wow! I mean, this is so totally unexpected, it CAN'T be staged to happen this way."
"Look, how our partner's rapt." Marth said as he turned his attention to Falco and Luigi.
"I mean, I know it's a play and all, but Zelda, Samus and Jigglypuff totally knew that was going to happen! I didn't, and I read the script! This is something that not even a play could make happen. It's... SUPERNATURAL!"
"New horror come upon him, like our strange garments, cleave not to their mould, but with the aid of use."
Roy suddenly remembered something. "But wait. Isn't Falcon playing the King? Ugh... so that means I can't be the king." He kicked a pebble, which flew into the audience and struck a member right in the eye. "Aw man."
"Worth Macbeth, we stay upon your leisure."
"Say, uh, do you have any idea whats going on?" Falco whispered to Luigi.
He shrugged and offered a simple solution, "Roy is talking to himself, and Marth thinks we care about what he's saying."
"Interesting."
Roy rejoined the group with a smile. "Alright guys, how about we go say hello to the King? I think we've kept him waiting long enough."
"Not our fault. We weren't the ones babbling to ourselves about nothing." Falco muttered.
"Shut it, Angus."
SCENE IV
Captain Falcon entered the stage followed closely by the two princes, Mario and Mr. Game & Watch. From the other side of the stage, Yoshi entered with a bunch of Wire Frames. "So... is the Condor guy dead yet?" Captain Falcon asked.
Mario nodded. "Well, from what I heard atleast, he died a nobel death. He admitted to all his crimes and plead with our sense of kindness and rationality to spare him his cruel fate."
"Did we?" Yoshi asked.
Yoshis' question quickly made the three others erupted in laugher."Oh, Lennox, you certain do jest." Mr. Game & Watch said, giving Yoshi a quick jab to the side.
"It's a shame." Said Falcon as the laughing ended. "I trusted that guy so much. Ah well! It's only one person who I trusted with my life who went against me. It's not like anyone else who I truly and deeply trust to the point of blindly staying in their castle after they have recently heard a mysterious tale in which they are said to be king, but they notice that I am in the way and thus take matters into their own hands will EVER happen." He laughed a bit more. "Heavens no."
As Captain Falcon finished his speech, Roy, Marth, Luigi and Angus all entered the stage. "OH WORTHIEST COUSIN!" Announced the ever dramatic racer, flinging his arms around the approaching red-head.
"...We're not cousins. We're not even related." Roy replied confused.
"Regardless, thank you so much for all of your services to our Kingdom! You are truly a great... guy!"
Roy nodded. "Thank you, my lord. But I did it all because I believe in you, my King."
"It's so wonderful that you could join us today." Captain Falcon continued as he lead Roy over to Mario. "You see, I was just about to announce, completely out of the blue for NO REASON important to the plot that my eldest son, Mari...alcom. Marialcom shall become the king in my stead!"
"Excuse me!" All eyes fell on Marth. "Falcon, you COMPLETELY skipped over the part where you give thanks to Banquo, and-"
"Yes, yes. Someone give him a cookie too. Anyway, Marialcom is going to be my heir to the throne. That is, when I die, he will take the throne. Not anyone else, you, Banquo or my younger son, but Marialcom. Got it?"
Roy nodded slowly. "Yes." Roy turned towards the audience and began to speak, "So, Mari...alcom is going to become the King if Falcon should die, hm? Well... that certainly throws a monkey wrench... no, even bigger... a monkey into my plans." An evil grin slowly creped across the nobleman's face. "But I know what I shall do."
"What shall you do?" Falcon asked, making the boy jump. "I could have sworn I heard you plotting against me over there, and then you said you know what you're going to do."
"Urm, I uh..." A moment of quick thinking paid off. He clapped his hands together and announced, "Sleep over. My place. Tonight. A party for all my friends!" The entire stage burst into cheers, expect Marth, who was rubbing his temples with each line that came out of his friends mouths. "I've gotta go get the punch and party games ready, so I'll catch you guys later!"
"OH WORTHY CONDOR!" Captain Falcon shouted as Roy walked off stage. "Geez, look at that. What a nice guy Macbeth is, huh Banquo?" Marth didn't answer. "...And maybe if you that nice, you'd be getting more then a cookie."
The curtain closed as Marth approached Captain Falcon from behind with his sword drawn.
SCENE V
The curtains pull back to see Peach sitting in a chair, reading a note that Roy had just sent her. "...'And then they said, "Thane of Cawdor you shall be". Then they said, "You will also be the king!" I was surprised and shocked, but I asked them what they meant, she vanished! I know that Zelda can vanish, but I mean, I didn't know Samus and Jigglypuff could! Wow, it was freaky. But then, it got scarier. Luigi and 'Angus' showed up and told me that I was pronounce the Thane of Condors! I know it was off by a few letters, but those witches predicted the FUTURE! That means that you and I could be King and Queen some day! Isn't that awesome?! Anyway, I'll check up with you later on. You have all my love, my dearest.' ..."
Peach stood from her chair in shock "It seems that my loving husband has been fortold a prophecy? Interesting. This means that I might finally become a queen?! But wait..." She thought for a moment. "I thought that Marialcom is going to become the King in Duncan's stead. Drat. Not mention we have no idea how long that old fart is going to be around, anyway..." The princess paused, then smiled an evil smile. "...Oh, who am I kidding!" Peach threw the letter to the ground. "That Roy is nothing but a woman in man's clothing! He'll never have the balls to pull it off."
"My Lady!"
Peach turned to see Meta Knight enter the room. "What is your tidings?"
"The king comes here tonight."
"REALLY?! WHY?!" Peach shouted shocked. "It's not everyday the King comes to visit... oh, wait, is Macbeth coming with them?"
"Yes. Apparently, you'll holding a sleep over." The knight huffed and turned away. "One I'm not invited too."
"Oh hush... but this is important news! I didn't give Roy permission to let his friends sleep over!" Peach pointed to the door. "Go! Go and give Roy a stern talking to for me." She sat down in her seat again and began to fan herself. "I'm busy." Meta Knight mopped out of the room and Peach stood up. "So it seems that the Falcon has landed, hmm? SO BET IT THEN!" She reached out her hands to the sky and began to scream, "COME YOU SPIRITS THAT TEND ON MORTAL THOUGHTS, UNSEX ME HERE AND FILL ME FROM THE CROWN TO THE TOE-TOP FULL OF DIREST CRUELT! MAKE ME A MAN SO THAT I DO NOT STOP AND BE WEAK IN MOMENTS OF WOMANLY... WEAKNESS!"
THUNDER!
Peach began to cackle like a witch as more thunder boomed in the background. "At last, I am unsexed! Now I will not be weak, like woman and a certain male I know!" Roy entered the room, freezing suddenly upon seeing Peach cackling manically. The princess turned, saw the redhead and quickly stopped her laughing. "Speaketh the devil!" Peach exclaimed, jumping from her chair. "Roy! You're home."
"Uh... yeah... So, uh, what was with that cackling?"
"Oh, it's just some... some... girl things, you know."
"Ah... so it's... that time again, huh?"
"Uh... sure."
Roy gave a goofy smile as he hugged Peach. "I've missed you, my insane wife! Oh, and I hope you don't mind, I'm having a sleep over with my friends. Urm... I hope you're not mad." He glupped and closed his eyes. "Please don't be mad, I just survived a war."
"Oh, Roy! Of course I'm mad!" Peach held up the note and smiled. "But I read your letter! Roy, this changes everything!"
"Yeah, I know! Isn't it cool!" A moment past and neither of the actors said anything. "...Uh, Peach? I think you're suppose to-"
Peach rolled her eyes. "I'm waiting for my cue."
"Your cue?"
"Yes, to lead me into my first song."
Roy looked confused. "I didn't know Macbeth had songs?"
"Well how could it not? It's a musical, you know." The blonde princess flipped her hair. "After all, I only work on musicals. They're the only plays that allow me to show off my amazing singing talent."
The swordsman flinched after remembering an event involving Peach, a talent show, and a green house. "Uh, Peach... maybe we should just-"
"HEY HAND!" Peach screamed, turning around. "Where is my music?"
Master Hand floated out onto the stage. "We've told you alteast ten times, MACBETH IS NOT A MUSICAL!"
The floating hands words seem to shock the princess. "Well... well of course it is."
"How does your logic figure that!"
Peach gave a glance to Roy that seemed to show she thought the hand was crazy. "Didn't I just shout out the reason? Is he deaf?" She giggled while Roy glupped and took a step back. After a moment of Peach giving Roy a blank look, she suddenly began to giggle. "Oh, I see. It's one of those 'Bring your own band' type of musicals." She smiled, rolled her eyes and took out her magic cell phone. "It's been a while, but I'm sure they can handle it. ...Yo, it's Peach. Yeah... yeah. We need a band here, like now. ...Okay...thanks bye."
Just as Peach hung up, warp pipes shot up out of the ground and out of them came a about thirty toads, each holding different instruments. "Wow... that was fast." Roy muttered in shock.
"Oh, it was a busy day. Apparently Mama had to call them out for some knighting ceremony." Peach turned to the band and nodded her head, causing them to play the music of her song.
Peach smiled and turned to Roy with dreamy eyes as the spotlight came down upon her."All these nights, I've laid in bed, thoughts of royalty running through my head."
Roy took a step back. "Uh... thats nice?"
"But who would have thought the things in my head, could really happen once Duncan's dead?"
"Well, he's not dead yet..."
"All these years, we've missed the signs. We couldn't read between the lines."
"I didn't really think that much into it till they told me about it, to be honest with you."
"Who had thought I would see the day where I'd read you say what I'd hope you'd say! And now I find what was always in my mind was in the Witches' too. Who knew? Fantasies come true!"
"Yeah, I know isn't that freaky?"
"And now, I see, that what we've always dreamed of is meant to be! Rulling all, just me and you! Fantasies come true!" The music continued as Peach began to hop whimsically about the stage with her eyes closed. "We might live in a fantasy, but with one quick THRUST it'll be reality..."
The band continued to play as the spotlight shifted from Peach to Roy. "What?! I have to sing now? Uh, um... I don't even know the words to the song!"
With a quick screech, the band stopped playing and the lights returned to normal. Peach sighed and rubbed her forehead. "It's okay. I mean, it's too early for our duet, anyway."
"So... uh... yeah, the King is coming."
"And when goes hence?"
"Tomorrow, as he purpose."
Peach began to cackle with her evil laugher again. "Oh, never shall sun that marrow see!" Roy raised an eyebrow, to which Peach flung her arm around his shoulders and pulled him down closer to her face, whispering, "Okay, heres the plan. You and I both want get to be the King and Queen right?"
"Yeah, I... guess."
"So here is what we're going to do... I'll lure him in with my charms and good looks, then you tend to him. You go and make sure that Duncan Falcon is having a grand ol' time. You gotta act all nice, yet at the same time, but don't forget to be willing to slice his throat off! Tonight, we shall take matters into our own hands and... well, you know." Peach glanced up at Roy. "Think you can handle it?"
Roy thought it over for a moment, then smiled his own bishie-like villain smile. "We will speak further."
"Just make sure you look the nice Thane part." She smirked. "You can leave the rest to me."
SCENE VI
The curtain opened up to show Captain Falcon, Mario, Mr. Game & Watch, Marth, Yoshi, Fox, Luigi and Falco standing outside a huge plastic castle with a bunch of Wire Frames. "Yey! We've finally made it to the castle!" Captain Falcon cheered.
"What is taking Macbeth so long?" Falco muttered, tapping his foot. "It's not nice to keep people waiting."
Mr. Game & Watch shrugged. "Who knows. I've heard his wife isn't a fan of sleep overs, though."
Captain Falcon sighed and shook his head. "Ah, I see. Poor guy."
"Ahem!" The group looked at Marth. "If you're done destroying one of the greatest plays in history with your... improv, I'd like to continue with MY LINES!"
"...Well, SOMEONES a Prima Donna." Luigi whispered, rolling his eyes.
Marth shot him a glare but continued with his lines, "The guest of summer, the temple-haunting martlet, does apporve by his loved mansionry-"
Marth was cut off by Peach entering from the cheap plastic castle. "Oh, our honour'd hostess!"
"...I wasn't DONE yet!"
"Yes yes, your mother." Captain Falcon took Peach's hand and kissed it. "I don't know how I can ever thank you for going through all this trouble of allowing us to stay in your home. Uh... you are letting us stay, right?"
Peach smiled and took her hand away. "Oh, of course we'll let you stay. The honor is all ours. After all... it will be make us much more happier then you could possblie image." Cheap thunder boomed in the background while Peach gave another evil cackle. She quickly caught herself and smiled innocentally.
"If that thunder and evil cackle doesn't say welcome, then I don't know what does! Thank you, honor'd hostess. But if I may ask... where is the Thane of Condors? I mean, it is his castle, after all. I sure hope you didn't... KILL him or anything after you heard he planned a sleep over."
Peach laughed an innocent laugh. "Goodness no. There will be no DYING while you're in our castle. Your life is perfectly SAFE in our hands." Thunder boomed again and Peach began to cackle once more. But this time, Captain Falcon and his company felt they needed to join in with the evil laughter... except Marth, who sighed and looked away in shame. "Well, shall you come in?" She asked once the manically laughter siezed.
"It will be our honor. Come, give me your hand!" Captain Falcon took Peach's hand, much to her disguist and began to walk off stage, but not before shouting dramatically, "BY YOUR LEAVE, HOSTESS!"
SCENE VII
Roy stood in a chamber with Wire Frame servants running in and out of the room as he paced back and forth. "Oh... oh, man!" Roy muttered, grabbing his head. "I don't know guys... I'm having second thoughts about this. I mean, as much as I want to play the King... Falcon is my friend. He's cool! He's a racecar driver! Who in the world COULDN'T like him? I mean, I know that those witches said I was going to be King... and... I would... really like to be King..." The Thane shook his head. "No! Not only is it wrong to kill someone, its just... I'm sure... that being King would make me forget all about those problems." He slammed his head into the side of the stage. "NO! GET OUT OF MY HEAD, YOU EVIL THOUGHTS! GET OUT!"
"Geez. He's a little crazy, hm?" Whispered one Wire Frame to another.
"What clued you in? The times he rambles to himself, or the fact that he married... THAT!"
As Peach entered the room, thunder boomed in the background. "Honey... why are you slamming your head into the wall?"
"To make the angry voices stop." Replied the red-head, falling to his knees with his forehead bleeding. "I think it worked. I can't remember much now. So, who are you?"
Peach rolled her eyes and walked over to the fallen Roy. "Get up! Why did you leave the chamber?"
"Has Falcon called for me?"
She shrugged. "I don't know! But I do know that a REAL MAN wouldn't leave me alone with that lecherous old creep. He's eyeing me right now, I can feel it." Peach shivered as she looked over her shoulder to make sure Captain Falcon had not followed her in. "Don't leave me alone with him!" Roy didn't respond, instead he fell over due to lack of blood loss. "Oh, I am going to feel SO GOOD watching you kill that man tonight."
"Yeah... about that." Roy stood up and held his head. "I'm not sure if I wanna go through with it anymore."
"WHAT? Are you kidding me? What kind of man are you?" He didn't respond once again. "Oh, to think I even thought you were a MAN to begin with. You know what I did this morning? I got a sex change. Yes, Roy, I'm a man. Does that frighted you? Because it should. I'm willing to go to that length to KILL that guy and become the QUEEN-KING I deserve to be! And here we have a true born man who backs down on his word after saying he'd do it! Maybe you had a sex change too?"
Roy shook his head. "Not that I recall." He whipped some blood away from his brow and looked at it on his hand. "...Then again..."
"I don't even know who I'm talking too. I have a feeling that Captain Falcon would be better suited for ME then YOU."
"Ugh... well..." Roy seemed to be at a loss of words, fighting the internal struggle between good or evil. Or on the verge of passing out due to blood loss. Either or. "Wha... What if we fail?"
"We fail!" She exclaimed in shock. "But screw your courage to the sticking-place and we fail not!"
"...Yeah, I must really be out of it. I just had a hallucination you were speaking in Marth-Speak."
Peach rolled her eyes and sat down next to Roy. "Here is my plan. Tonight, when Falcon goes to sleep, I'm going to slip into his chamber and give his gauds some wine. Once I get them good and drunk, we'll be able to enter his chamber. His chamberlains will be too buzzed to do anything about it, so we'd take their weapons and murder the old man while he sleeps. Once he's dead, we place their weapons back and smear a bit of blood on them, and BAM! We've taken our place as King and Queen, framed two other and gotten off without a single problem. Sounds good, hm?"
"Wah?"
"...Are you ready to sing our duet?!" Peach asked hopeful.
"...Don't you EVER give birth to a girl, you hear me?" Roy replied, passing out onto the floor.
Peach sighed and turned away. "Ugh... women."
The curtains closed and the lights in the theater returned to normal. Crazy Hand floated out onto the stage and took the microphone. "And that concludes Act One!" The entire theater burst into cheers of excitement. "Why are you all cheering? We still have four more acts to go." The happiness suddenly disappeared. "Well... it's time for the intermission... so go have some fun through the rest of the festival!" The audience muttered to itself as it left the theater. "...I bet half of them won't even come back."
END ACT I