Inspiration from Otherwise Useless Rubble
It had been another week…
As the thought repeated itself endlessly in her head, she couldn't help but sigh. The week had gone by so unbearably quick… almost too quick. She briefly wondered if the week had gone by slow enough to justify the usual punishment…
NO! She shook her head, mentally hitting herself for letting such a stupid thought cross her mind. I swore to him that I would do this!
So she quickly extended her arm towards the small violet box beside her, gripping it tightly as she carefully placed it in her lap. She couldn't suppress the shudder that overtook her body as she thought about the box's contents, remembering the one thing that these past four weeks had taught her.
No matter how many times you go through something, it never gets any easier.
"I want you to do this for me…"
She bit her lip, gulping hard. She shook her head yet again, blocking out the voice that erupted in her head for the millionth time that day. She refused to think about it, refused to think about him until he came back safe and sound, just like he always had.
She would have lied if she told you that she believed the optimistic thought, despite how many times she told herself otherwise.
"For every week that I am gone…"
"NO!" She clenched her eyes shut, quickly covering her ears with her fists in a desperate attempt to block out the voice.
"I want you to..."
"JUST SHUT UP!"She shouted this as loudly as her lungs would allow, praying for something… anything to keep the voice quiet. Sadly, god was not shining down on her that day.
"Cut a slit on your wrist."
"IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT? HUH? DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY?"
She ripped the box's lid of and carelessly through it across the room, where it landed with a thud some ten feet away. She quickly shoved the hand in the box, searching as fast as she could for the small object that lay inside. Once she felt her fingers run across its cold metal, she quickly gripped it and brought it to her face, where she looked at it. The way its edge curved at the exact perfect angle, the way the handle seemed to fit perfectly with the way she gripped it… the way the blood stains seemed to give it character.
She slowly brought the knife down to rest on her wrist, right next to the other three scars that blemished her pale skin. She ran the edge of the blade carefully along her wrist, adding just enough pressure to pierce her skin. She grit her teeth, doing the best she could to ignore the sharp ache that ran down her spine. It was at that moment that she realized something.
She could not imagine doing this for the rest of her life.
Her hand froze half way down her wrist, acknowledging the thought that had briefly crossed her mind. What if he never came back? What if she was forced to do this for the rest of the long life that laid ahead of her. How could she even think that, of course he would come back! He always did!
…Wouldn't he?
She let out an agonizing squeal, no longer knowing what to think. This whole ordeal was driving her crazy! She wished he would just hurry up and get done with that stupid funeral o that things could go back to the way they were.
"But he won't ever come home! He's dead!"
The words had escaped her lips, almost as if telling her to end this madness.
"Just to make sure you stay loyal to me, Rena…"
She plunged the blade deep into her forearm before quickly pulling it out and plunging it in somewhere else. She continued this for some time, until she dropped the knife to her side. But by that time her arm was completely engulfed in knife wounds, and was painted a dark shade of blood red.
What had she done?
She looked down at her now mutilated arm in disbelief, silently wondering what could have possessed her to do something so… stupid! But that was not the weirdest thing about it…
She felt no regret.
Despite the fact that she had openly admitted that what she had just done was stupid beyond belief, she felt no regret. She knew that if she was sent back in time she would have done it again.
"Look how loyal I am, Keiichi! Look at what I would do for you!" at that point she could no longer hold back the giddy laugh from escaping her lips.
She could practically see his smiling face as he told her how proud he was. She could practically feel his arms wrap around her torso in a tight hug, and could feel his soft lips rest on the top of her head.
She didn't even bother to make her way to the bed just a few feet away from her. Instead, she simply closed her eyes as she was and let the warm embrace of sleep wash over her, all the while thinking of him.
Little did she know, she would never wake up again.
"It's so fun to joke with you, Rena! You take everything so seriously!"