New Story! Woo!

It's an alternate universe so...no Olaf here! But I don't think he'll be missed. This is really random, but does anyone else think Jim Carrey did a real good job portraying Count Olaf in the movie? Just, you know, curious...I've been curious a lot lately.

Disclaimer: I do not own ASOUE. Phooey.

Chapter 1:

Starting Off:

Dear Diary Computer Laptop Thingy,

Well. That was a stupid introduction. I am not doing that again.

First things first, I didn't want to start a diary in the first place, but my therapist is making me.

Yes. I have a therapist.

And for no reason whatsoever!

My mother decided to make me go see him because she's afraid that living with three guys in the house (my two brothers and my dad) will scar me in unfixable ways. She has a point, but I don't think seeing a therapist who's a man is going to lessen the scarring in anyway.

That's a fail on her part.

Anyways, my therapist's name is Lemony Snicket and he lives at the start of my neighborhood. I get free sessions because he's close friends with my parents, but that's not the point. I've been seeing him Tuesdays and Thursdays after school from 3:30 to 5:00 since the fourth grade.

In all honesty, I think I'd be better off if he wasn't my therapist. He's pretty cool and everything but he's not a very good therapist. He isn't very logical with his patients and a bit messed up in the head. But he's cool, so I guess it's alright.

I like to call him different names like: Uncle S., Uncle Lemons and the occasional Mr. Snickers (his favorite candy bar).

Anyways, he's the one who gave me the assignment to start a diary so I can learn from life or something. I don't remember much of what he said, considering the fact that he assigned it to me almost three years ago.

It was the summer before sixth grade and Uncle S. decided to give me a diary assignment. He mentioned something about 'learning life lessons as I go through life'.

I personally thought the idea was stupid.

So I didn't do it.

I was pretty sure I'd be a lot better off without it anyhow.

I was right.

But the reason why I'm stating it now, in the eighth grade, is because when Mr. Snicket came to visit my parents today, he asked me how my diary was going and that he was going to flip through it (technically not read it) and ask me everything I learned and how my diary helped me at the end of this school year.

I thought he forgot about the darn thing! I did!

I felt bad about not doing it, since Uncle Lemons is a good friend of mine, so I lied and told him it was great and I was learning a lot about life and junk.

So now I have to take up as much space as I can to make it looked like I actually cared about this assignment and make up stuff that I supposedly 'learned'.

I didn't want to waste $15 for an empty book at the bookstore, so I just started it on a document on my laptop. I got one of my friends to rig it to where you need to enter a password if you want to enter the document, just in case someone gets past the password wall that comes up when you turn my laptop on.

But the top reason why I got it rigged was so that certain people *cough* Quigley *cough* don't use it against me.

Quigley is my big brother. Only by a few minutes though!

Quigley, me, and our brother, Duncan, are triplets.

NO. We are NOT the Quagmires.

The Quagmires are some people my therapist, Mr. Snicket, wrote about in a book series he randomly cooked up a little over ten years ago.

The series is called A Series of Unfortunate Events.

It's not the most creative title.

It's about three kids named Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire who have miserable lives.

The End.

The Quagmires come in somewhere in the middle and two of them eventually get trapped in a hot air balloon while the other one drifts down a river.

The Quagmires' names are Quigley, Duncan and Isadora (my name). My brothers and I were around the age of one when the first book was published, so it's a possibility he already planned to put us in there.

Although it was really sweet of him to include us in it (besides the fact that two of us got stuck on a hot air balloon and one floated down a freezing river) a part of me wishes he didn't, because now anyone who reads it asks me if I'm Isadora Quagmire.

I'm Isadora Rockefeller.

I am not a Quagmire.

Well, my grandmother on my mother's side's maiden name is Quagmire so...oh, whatever!

Quagmire or not, I'm not like the character (but my family does have a bit of money).

She's really into poetry, but I couldn't write a couplet to save my life! They always turn out like:

Hey I think you're cute,

Like my new pair of boots.

And that's my best work.

However, my brothers and I aren't the only ones who get pestered about it. Friends of ours that live across the street from us share the names with the main characters of the story, Violet, Klaus and Sunny. Their real last name is Clarke.

Violet's fourteen years old (soon to be fifteen) and she's a bit of a rebel. She's also really smart. Violet's the one who rigged up my computer. She's really good with technology, building stuff out of random items, that kind of stuff. I think Violet's the only who fits her character.

Klaus is the same age as me: thirteen. Except he'll be turning fourteen in November and I'll be fourteen in May. Klaus and I have a strange relationship. On a good day we can have a lot of fun together and everything, but other times, we could be arguing about the stupidest things.

Sunny is two years old. I really don't know how Mr. Snicket was so accurate about her age. Her mother wasn't even pregnant with her yet, I don't even think she wanted a baby at the time!

Psychic abilities, maybe?

Mr. Snicket is the half-brother to Violet's, Klaus's and Sunny's dad.

I just felt like that little piece of information was needed.

I love how I'm describing people and leaving out the description of my family throughout the whole thing.

I'll start with my dad.

My dad is Duncan Rockefeller. He's a lawyer for a living. He's very good, it's quite rare when he comes home with a lost case. My dad is also British. He came straight from London. He has an awesome accent that I wish I could share with him. But you can trace a small bit of it when I'm angry or upset or something. My dad is kind of weird. Sometimes, when it's his turn to cook, he blasts hits from the 90's on the radio and attempts to dance like Michael Jackson. It's a pretty funny sight. Although I wonder, sometimes, if Mr. Snicket has rubbed off on him…

My mom is Abelina Rockefeller and she's a doctor. My mom is from France. Her family used to be really poor (having five other siblings didn't help) but now she's filthy stinking rich and can do whatever she wants. Those were her words, not mine. My mom is weird too, but different from my dad. I can't really describe it. You got to live with her to know what I'm talking about.

My parents met in Pairs. It's kind of a cliché since Paris is the City of Love and all. They met in front of the Eiffel Tower. I can see how it was love at first sight. My dad looked like Greg Sulkin and my mother looked like a model in a red dress. I'm serious, I saw pictures. I wonder how they communicated since my dad didn't speak French and my mom didn't speak English.

Skipping ahead through their little love story, they got married and had triplets.

Quigley is the oldest of us triplets. He's really into soccer and hates cheese with a burning passion. Quigley and I used to be really close, but somewhere near the beginning of this school year, he's gotten into the habit of being a big jerk 24/7. He's nice to Duncan and everything but out of nowhere he started being a jerk to me.

Jerk.

Duncan is the baseball star of the family, and the family genius. But his smartness came to him in a strange way. We were in the first grade and our teacher was afraid she was going to have to hold him back because he failed at everything he did. I remember how he put on one math test: 1+1=7. I found it weird how he was stupid in school but when you talked to him he sounded all professional, like he actually knew what he was doing. One day when all of us were throwing around the baseball in the backyard, the baseball accidentally hit Duncan in the head, giving him a major concussion.

He was out of school for quite a bit. When he finally went back to school, the teacher ended up calling our parents, telling them that she believed Duncan was cheating because now he never got an answer wrong.

We couldn't believe it. He didn't sound as smart as he used to, yet he became a genius with a single blow to the head.

So if you talk to him now, you'd think he's an idiot, but he's really not.

The school people wanted him to skip about four grades, but my parents wanted the three of us to be together. Being only about six, I understand why my parents thought that. Although my dad said he would be okay with it now, since we're older, my mother still won't let him because she says we have to stay together. Geez, Mother, just because we're triplets doesn't mean we got to be around each other all the time. It's not like we're conjoined or something.

You know, I think I'm the only one in my family who isn't good at something. Dad's a lawyer, Mom's a doctor, brothers are athletes, but what am I?

Stuck in the middle, that's what.

I don't mean to be too hard on myself or anything, but it seems like everything I try I fail. And if I can't do anything now, what am I going to do in the future when I have to fend for myself?

I try not to worry about that too much, though, after all I'm only in the eighth grade. For all I know, I could become Queen of the World by the time I'm fourteen!

…

Okay, so the possibility is very slim, but you never know what can happen in life.

So...I guess that explains about everything.

For a starting off entry, I think I did quite well. It sure seems long enough. Hey, if I keep this up, maybe I won't have to type up entries the whole year!

'Night!

*Takes a bow* First chapter: Done! Now we have who knows how many more to go.

This chapter wasn't too good, but it'll get better after this one. :)

I don't really have much else to say...that's a first.

Well, I'm about to pass out.

Goodnight everyone! :D

"We were strangers starting out on a journey..."

~At The Beginning by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis

;)